Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Mara
I read the text from Leo again, my concern growing. Usually I tell Suki everything, but I didn’t tell her about his message.
Leo covered for me last night, and it was exactly what I needed. In the moment, I was devastated about not convincing Libby to testify, but I woke up feeling more clearheaded this morning.
That disappointment is part of my job. I needed to let myself fall apart since I’m new to it, but then I had to put it aside and move on. Maybe she’ll think about the things I said and change her mind. I hope so.
Leo probably just wants to get our stories lined up since Anson will be at dinner tonight. It’s probably just something small, and I’m worried for nothing.
Suki, beside me in the driver’s seat, glances at her rearview mirror.
“Hey girls, I’ve been meaning to ask, does anyone know where the cocoa powder is? I was baking yesterday and I couldn’t find it. I know I have some.”
“No idea,” Charlotte says absently.
Olivia is in the SUV’s third row, probably listening to music on her headphones. The youngest girl, Hallie, pipes up.
“Maybe someone hid it under my bed.”
Suki furrows her brow. “That’s oddly specific, Hals.”
“I’m just saying maybe.”
“Okay.”
I suppress a smile. Hallie cracks me up often without even trying.
“I’ve always wondered what baking cocoa tastes like by itself,” I say, giving Suki a knowing look.
“ Not like chocolate,” Hallie says. “It’s really bad. Don’t make chocolate milk with it.”
Suki sighs softly and we exchange an amused look. I shrug.
“It looks just like hot cocoa mix,” I say in Hallie’s defense before changing the subject. “How’s Darling?”
“Good. He fell asleep on me and I couldn’t move because his head is heavy.”
I didn’t think I wanted kids before Suki married Carter and his nieces became like daughters to her. I’m not so sure anymore, though. I love the girls and really do feel like an aunt to them. I see what Suki has with her family and think maybe someday I want that, too.
It’s a school night, so we drop the girls off at home before going to the restaurant. They don’t get to attend many games on school nights, but tonight they did. The babysitter Suki hired meets us in the garage to herd the girls into the house.
“Bring home some breadsticks,” Charlotte says to Suki, adding, “Please.”
“Got it. With extra cheese dip,” Suki says.
She backs out of the garage and closes the door, glancing over at me.
“Carter is so ready for a baby. I keep putting him off because I’m waiting for you and Leo to make this thing official, so we can get pregnant at the same time.”
I cringe. “Don’t say it like that, gross. It makes me feel like we’ll be side by side on our backs getting railed.”
“What’s wrong with you? You know what I meant.”
“Leo and I will probably come out of this fake relationship as friends,” I admit. “But we’re definitely not getting married. Have your baby, and then if I have one in a few years, your kid can babysit my kid.”
She groans. “That’s not as fun.”
I yawn, my early morning and late night catching up with me. “How long will this thing be? I have to get up for work in the morning.”
“Not super late. The guys are leaving early tomorrow for a road trip.”
“Okay, good. Eating carbs is going to knock my ass out.”
Suki got me a jersey—or I guess, a sweater, as hockey players apparently call them—with Leo’s last name on the back. I’m wearing it even though it’s not really my thing. It’s comfortable, and I do love a night out in black leggings and tennis shoes.
When we get to the restaurant, several players are already at the table. One of them is Anson, who gives me a tight-lipped nod in greeting.
Leo’s eyes lock onto me as I make sure to say hi to everyone at the table. When I turn my gaze to his, my concern comes back. I can tell from his expression that something is wrong. I turn on the charm so I can get him alone.
“Hey babe, can I talk to you?” I give him an adoring smile, biting my lip for good measure.
“Yeah, of course.”
He slides his chair out and stands, taking my hand and leading me toward the restaurant’s entrance. I give his hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze as we pass tables full of people. Some of them look at him as we pass, and I hear someone murmur, “Cleveland Crush.”
Stopping in the lobby of the restaurant, he glances over at our table, which is still in full view.
“We can go outside if you want,” I murmur.
“No, it needs to be here. Follow my lead.”
We’re facing each other, only about a foot of space between us.
He puts his hands on my hips and I stop breathing.
In his dark, perfectly cut suit, he could easily pass for a model or an actor.
He looks polished and completely in control, my heart racing with awareness as I wrap my arms around his neck.
He rests his forehead lightly on mine and speaks softly, his words barely a whisper.
“I need you to pretend like you’re desperate to get me home. I have to get out of here, but I don’t want Anson to think there’s anything wrong between us.”
His voice is anything but in control. He sounds almost anguished, his hold on my hips firm.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
He exhales through his nose. “It’s nothing. We’re going to pretend we’re leaving together and I’ll call you an Uber. Will you just please do this for me?”
“You’re going to hook up with someone, aren’t you?”
It shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I just spent more than four hours at his game, meeting people and pretending to be his adoring girlfriend, and he can’t even sit through dinner with me?
“No.” He closes his eyes and cringes, looking like he’s in pain. “Please, Mara. I covered for you, now I need you to cover for me.”
The pleading in his tone tugs at my heart. “Okay. I’m going to lay on the affection. Give it like fifteen seconds and then act like you’re reluctantly stopping me.”
I don’t even wait for him to answer before I move my fingers up his neck and into his hair, smiling. I press myself against him and barely brush my lips over his.
His body is like a brick wall. I’ve never been with a man so tall or so fit, and for a second, I wish I really was going home with him for a horizontal celebration of his win.
This close, I can smell the faint pine scent of his bodywash and feel the movement of his chest as he breathes faster than I am.
“How’s this for convincing, desperate pervert?” I say lightly against his mouth.
I feel his lips quirking with a smile. “It’s damn good.”
His expression is reluctant as he pulls away and takes my hand.
“That actually helped,” he says, looking surprised.
“Helped what?”
Ignoring my question, he leads me back to the table, where he announces, “We’re passing on dinner, guys. My girl’s hungry for something else and she wants to use every hour we’ve got until the plane takes off for the road trip.”
I want to elbow him so hard, but I just smile and play along. Leo’s teammates are giving him jealous looks—well, all except Anson. He’s glaring at me.
“You’re not even eating?” Suki asks, shocked.
She knows me well.
“I will be,” Leo says, giving me a wicked grin. “As soon as we get in the house.”
My stomach does a full flip, the thought of him tearing off his suit jacket and tie making me warm all over. What if every inch of his chiseled, hard body was committed to my pleasure? And what if I could find out how he likes to be touched, and what makes him lose control?
I tug on his hand, the fantasy sex I’m playing out in my mind the most action I’ve had in a very long time.
“See you in the morning, boys,” he says. Then he looks at me and says, “How lucky am I?”
So this is what it feels like. I’ve never understood how Suki fell so hard and fast for Carter. She let go of her fear and trusted him not to destroy her. And this is why. He looks at her the way Leo is looking at me right now. Like she’s everything to him and no woman could ever measure up to her.
Leo’s faking it, of course. So I don’t know exactly what it feels like, but I can imagine. It makes me wish I hadn’t been so thorough in convincing Leo I hate him.
We walk out to his car, where he opens the passenger-side door for me. “I thought I’d need to call an Uber, but I’ll be okay to take you home.”
I pinch my brows together, confused. “What’s going on?”
He shakes his head and says, “Just get in.”
I do, and then he closes my door and walks around to the driver’s side. Once he’s behind the wheel, he takes several long, deep breaths. I fight my curiosity and give him about half a minute of quiet before I speak.
“Did you get bad news?” I ask gently.
He starts the car. “No.”
“Did one of your teammates say something shitty to you?”
“Nothing like that. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”
But he’s not fine right now. I can’t just go home knowing something is so wrong that he can’t even get through dinner with his teammates.
“Is it something to do with a woman you’re seeing?”
He sighs heavily. “Mara, stop interrogating me. I just need to go home, that’s it.”
“Is someone waiting for you there?”
“No.”
He’s getting aggravated, but the irony is, we were on opposite sides of this exact argument yesterday.
“Are you being melodramatic?” I ask.
That gets me an almost smile. He seems to think about something for a few seconds before he says, “It’s something I have medication for at home. That’s it. Not a big deal.”
“So then why are we going to my apartment first? Let’s go get your medication.”
He shifts and clears his throat. “No, it’s okay.”
“Come on, Leo. Don’t be like this. I can take an Uber from your house if I need to. If you’re sick enough you couldn’t even get through dinner, let’s go get your medication.”
“It’s not like that. Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine.”
“This is bullshit. After the way you pushed me last night, and I spilled my guts to you? I’m not even asking what you have, I’m just saying go get your medication.”
I can see the tension in his jawline as he says, “Fine.”
Though I want to keep talking to him, I know if I say the wrong thing, he’ll change his mind. So I sit and worry about all the things that could be going on with him. Whatever it is, it can’t be easy to keep up with his schedule and the grueling physical requirements of hockey.
“Are you probably going to be alive in five years?” I ask, the not knowing killing me.
“Unless you kill me first, most likely.”
“What, like deliberately? Or do you mean the burden of even speaking to me might do you in?”
He flicks a quick look at me. “Both.”
“Yeah, you’re for sure being melodramatic.”
He laughs softly. “Maybe.”
A few minutes later, he pulls into a neighborhood of condos in a golf course community. It’s upscale, but nothing like Carter and Suki’s house. He uses an opener to open the double garage of one, pulling inside.
There’s not much in it. A bicycle. A bunch of golf stuff. A Cleveland Crush team poster hangs on one wall.
I get out of the car when he does, but he turns and stops me as I follow him.
“I can just go grab it real quick.”
“Can I come see Birdie?”
His dog grew on me in the time we spent together at Carter’s. She’s one of those dogs you can tell is grateful just to be warm and fed, because she hasn’t always been cared for.
He hesitates, then nods. I’m expecting his house to look like a dungeon or something, but it’s just an average bachelor pad. Functional furniture, white walls and minimal decor.
Birdie is waiting for him, her tail swishing back and forth as soon as she sees him.
“Hey, girl,” he says, bending down to pet her.
“Want me to take her out?” I ask, walking over to pick up her leash from the kitchen counter.
He practically lunges at me. “No, don’t.”
I set the leash back down and say, “Sorry.”
Cringing, he shakes his head. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s ...” He sighs heavily and walks over to the kitchen sink, picking up a pill bottle from a row of bottles next to the sink. “I didn’t want you to see these, that’s all.”
“Oh.” I take a step toward the door, wishing I hadn’t pushed him to let me come in. “I’ll just meet you at the car.”
He shakes his head, taking a pill from one of the bottles. “It’s okay. The meds are for anxiety and depression. So there you go. You were right all those times you said I’m not right in the head.”
I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. Probably because I’m the world’s biggest asshole and there’s literally no response to what he just said.