Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Leo
“I didn’t mean—I’m so sorry, Leo. When I said that, I was just being brash and reactive. I never really thought that.”
I shrug as I walk over to the fridge to get out a bottle of water. “It’s the truth.”
“No, it’s not. I was being an asshole. Just like all the times I said you probably have to pay for sex—obviously, you don’t. I just run my mouth. It’s a problem.”
After twisting off the cap of the bottle, I put the pill in my mouth and swallow it with water. Even though it doesn’t work this quickly, I immediately feel better. This medication is for situational high anxiety, and I really need to start carrying it with me all the time.
“I don’t care about the shit you’ve said about me,” I say. “Just please don’t tell anyone about this. No one knows.”
“It’s not something to be ashamed of. I took depression medication in college, and I went to therapy. Both things really helped me.”
I nod. “I go to therapy, too. But I’m nowhere near ready to go off my meds.”
“So what? Who says you need to?”
Birdie is nudging at Mara’s hand, trying to get some attention. Mara sits down on the kitchen floor, letting my dog into her lap.
“Did it come out of nowhere tonight, or was it something specific?”
Her tone is conversational, like we’re discussing our schedules or the weather. I expected her to be taken aback when I told her, and I’m not sure how to handle her reaction.
“Uh ...” I sigh deeply. She already knows about my mental health issues and medications, so why not just tell her everything? “I have a knee injury, and I’ve been hiding it. When I got hit tonight, it made it worse. Now the pain is constant. So I’m fucked.”
She smooths her hand over Birdie’s back as she speaks. “Because you won’t be able to play?”
“Yeah. Our team trainer knows I’m hurt. I don’t know what the fuck I did to give it away, but she knows and she wants to look at it. It’s a torn meniscus. I’ll either need major rehab or surgery. I might never be the same again.”
“You might be even better, though, once you’re not trying to play with an injury.”
I run a hand through my hair. She doesn’t get it. Hockey is my life. I don’t know who I am without my team and my routine.
“The fear of not making it back is real, though,” she says. “I don’t mean to minimize it.”
I don’t know if it’s my medication kicking in or if it’s because she didn’t flip out when she found out about my conditions, but I’m feeling more relaxed. Comfortable, even.
“Are you hungry?” I turn on some lights. “I can make us something to eat.”
“I’m starving.” She gets up from the floor. “I’ll help.”
I scan the contents of my fridge. “We could have some omelets ready pretty fast.”
“Yeah, I love a good omelet.”
She rolls up the sleeves of her sweater and washes her hands at the sink. That’s when I see part of my last name on the back of the sweater, her long dark hair obscuring some of the letters. I stop breathing for a few seconds.
“You did that,” I say.
She looks over her shoulder at me, her brow furrowed. “Hmm?”
I shake my head, trying to clear my head. “The sweater with my name.”
“Oh. I asked Suki to get me one.”
She turns, drying her hands on a towel. “Want me to crack the eggs? I’m freakishly good at it.”
“You wanted to wear it?”
She smiles, looking confused. “Are we still on the sweater? Yeah, I wanted to wear it.”
I forget the ingredients on the island. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“I should’ve looked away. That day in the bathroom. I guess I was being a desperate pervert, because I think you’re beautiful. I never meant a single thing I said about your ... bush. I’ve fantasized about it a thousand times, just as it was that day.”
Her lips part. “You don’t have to say that. I was in the shower to shave my bikini line, because we were getting in the hot tub, and I wanted you to ... it doesn’t matter.”
She looks away. My blood pounds with excitement as I walk around to the side of the kitchen island she’s standing on, tipping her chin up so we’re at eye level.
“It matters,” I say softly. “What were you going to say?”
She wets her lips with the tip of her tongue, vulnerability in her expression. “I wanted you to look at me. And like me. I borrowed one of Suki’s swimsuits that’s too small for me because it makes my boobs look amazing.”
Her words make my cock stiffen. “When have your boobs ever not looked amazing?”
A smile dances on her lips. “Fair point. But you know what I mean. This suit is like a custom-made display case for my tits. I wanted you to want me. And when you saw me like that ... I lost my shit.”
I cup her jawline, smoothing the pad of my thumb over her lower lip. Her eyes widen slightly. “There’s never been a time since the first time I saw you when I didn’t want you.”
She pinches her brows together. “Not in that moment. With the green clay mask on my face and conditioner in my hair?”
“Are you kidding? I wanted to get in the shower with you. And then, once you started yelling at me every time you saw me, I wanted you even more. You’re ... wild. Like the most exotic flower that only grows in places man can’t get to. I could only admire you from afar, but never get close.”
“Maybe ...” She swallows, looking nervous. “Maybe that’s the appeal, that you couldn’t have me. Maybe if you could, you’d be bored.”
My grin almost turns into a laugh. “Mara, the one thing I’d never be around you is bored.”
“I don’t want to disappoint you.”
I put my hands on her waist and lift her onto the kitchen island, keeping my hands on her.
She cradles my face as I rest my forehead against hers.
“You’ll never disappoint me. I’m not the playboy you think I am.
I haven’t been with a woman in a long time, because if it’s not special, I don’t want it. ”
I grab the sweater and gently pull it up over her head, tossing it aside. Underneath, she’s wearing a tight black camisole. My anxiety attack is a distant memory as I bend down and kiss her jawline, then her cheek. Her breath is warm on my face, coming in uneven little bursts.
When I kiss her, she slides her arms around my neck, moving closer to me. Her mouth is soft and warm. She tastes like cinnamon gum. When I put a hand on her lower back and press her closer to me, deepening the kiss, she moans softly.
I’m rock hard, and she knows it. She wraps her legs around my waist, pressing her core into my erection. We’ve only kissed, and this already feels more intimate than anything I’ve had with other women.
Mara is the only one who has seen all of me. She knows my secrets and wants me anyway. All those heated arguments were foreplay, and I want to devour her and savor her in equal measure.
She pulls off the camisole, revealing a lacy, pale-pink bra. I trail a fingertip over the silky fabric, her nipple pebbling beneath my touch.
“Are you sure?” I ask her.
“Yes. I have a birth control implant.” She grabs my tie, just holding on to it and not moving. “Are you sure?”
“Completely.”
She pulls on my tie, our mouths hungry when they meet. It’s a tangle of lips and teeth and tongues as we work together to get my tie and dress shirt off. She slides off the island and takes her shoes and leggings off, leaving her in socks and underwear.
I get the rest of my clothes off in record time, taking satisfaction in the widening of her eyes when she sees my cock.
“I would’ve been so much nicer if I’d known you’re that big,” she says, a smile playing on her lips.
“Bullshit.” I grin back at her, lifting her back onto the island.
I peel her socks off one at a time and drop them to the floor. Her underwear goes next. She’s leaning back on her elbows, shivering slightly as my gaze roves over her.
“My fantasy come true,” I murmur. “You’re so beautiful.”
I bend, planning to bury my face between her legs, but a sharp pain in my knee makes me cringe and stop.
“Fuck. Sorry. It’s my knee.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
She’s off the island in an instant, taking my hand. “Take me to your bedroom.”
My condo is all on one level, so I lead her down the hallway to my bedroom, closing the door so Birdie can’t follow.
“Lie down.”
It’s a silken, seductive command. And even though I want to obey, I hate that she had to take over because of my injury.
“I can still fuck you,” I say. “You lie down.”
The room is dark, but there’s enough moonlight coming in around the blinds that I can see her unfastening her bra.
“Leo, lie down,” she says again. “Please.”
I shove the covers from my unmade bed and lie on my back, my cock throbbing with need as she gets on the bed and straddles me. She doesn’t wait for me—she lines the head of my cock up to her slick pussy and moves, moaning with pleasure when I’m not even halfway inside her.
I trail my fingertips down her stomach, sliding my thumb over her clit. She rocks her hips and takes more of me, my groan drowning out her moan.
“Do you like it?” she whispers.
“I fucking love it. Your body is the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt.”
I can’t tell if her cry as I sink deeper inside her is pleasure or pain. I hold on to her hips, supporting her but letting her set the pace.
“Fuck.” She moans as she starts riding me, her outline just visible in the room’s dim light.
I could come so fast, but I make myself hold on. Every one of my senses is steeped in hot, clawing desire for her. When she cries out my name, it’s all I can do not to grip her hips and drive myself into her as hard as I can.
This is what it feels like to be two halves of a whole. The soul-deep craving and satisfaction coursing through me isn’t something I could ever feel alone. I didn’t plan to let Mara past my walls, but I’m so fucking glad it happened.
“Oh my god.” She’s breathless, riding me hard and fast.
“Let me see it all,” I say, pressing my fingers into her hips harder. “Show me what you look like when you get that sweet pussy off on my cock, baby.”
“Oh, fuck, Leo.” She grinds into me even harder.
“Yeah, let go for me.” I grind the words out, barely holding on to the shred of control I have left.
She cries out again, so loud and primal I know she’s coming hard. I follow, groaning powerfully as I hold on to her hips and let myself go.
Still catching her breath, she moves off me and lies down on her back. “What just happened?”
There’s satisfaction and amusement in her tone. Fortunately, I don’t hear any regret.
“I think we stopped hating each other,” I say lightly.
She laughs. “I can’t promise I’ll never get mad at you again, though.”
“Understood.”
She rolls onto her side, so I move onto my side, too.
“I don’t want things to be awkward with us,” she says.
“They won’t.”
“I know you have to be up early, so I’ll get dressed. We don’t have to cuddle. Can you still give me a ride home?”
“I’ll take you home, but not yet.”
She yawns. “Why not yet? Do you want an all-night fuckathon? Because I’m not sure I can do it.”
“I don’t want you to go. I’ll make the omelets and we can eat in bed and get some sleep. I’ll take you home on my way to the airport.”
There’s a moment of quiet before she says, “Okay. Make mine extra cheesy.”
I kiss her once, then again. I’ve never felt so content this soon after a panic attack, even with medication. I don’t know if it was the sex or just Mara being here.
It feels damn good, though. I’m not spiraling over my knee anymore. I want to just be here with her tonight—both physically and in my head.