Chapter 2 Ghana
Present Day
Nichelle set the table while I finished making the waakye. It was an African dish with rice mixed with black-eyed peas. I finished with the spaghetti, plantains, and fried chicken ten minutes ago.
Kenzi and Ruger were coming to visit us for a little while since Nichelle was due next month. Since the day she told me she was pregnant, I had been on pins and needles.
So many doubts and worries that my baby girl would come out with mental health issues fucked with me daily. I didn’t want my kid to ever go through what I went through all her life. That was no way for a child to live, and I didn’t want that for her.
When I asked Nichelle to get an abortion, she spazzed on me and refused to talk to me for weeks. It wasn’t that I didn’t want my baby; I just didn’t want my baby girl coming out fucked up like me.
It took me apologizing and us having a heart-to-heart for me to finally allow myself to accept that I had a baby coming.
I loved my girl.
She was the only one, besides my sister, who truly saw me and loved me despite my indifference.
Every month her stomach grew, the more nervous I became.
I played it off as if I was cool with it, but secretly, I was fucked up about it all.
I knew I had to get over this and was glad my sister and Ruger were coming to visit.
I needed someone to talk to other than Nichelle and her family.
I needed someone to reassure me that I could do this shit without feeling the need to run.
Cooking had been one of my escapes from thinking too much and too hard about shit. Ashanti taught us how to garden and grow our own vegetables. She taught us how to make African dishes and speak Swahili, just as her mother taught her.
My grandmother, Zuri, fell in love with a rich, white man back in Ghana.
My grandfather, Nathaniel, brought my grandmother here to the States after they married and had Ashanti.
Being the pretty African American with the light skin, apparently, had all the niggas vying for her attention.
She ended up getting pregnant with me at seventeen, by that drug-dealing nigga Merrick, who I fucking hated.
They broke up for a spell, then she got with Kenzi’s pops and, two years later, had Kenzi.
As much as I loathed that woman entirely, I was grateful for the little attention she gave me and for teaching me how to survive.
I turned the pot off and felt the firmness of Nichelle’s belly against my back, with her arms wrapped around my waist.
I smiled as I turned and kissed her forehead.
“You excited about your sister coming to visit?” she asked, smiling up at me.
“Yeah, it’s been a minute. Since all that bullshit with the Blaze Burners kidnapping Kenz went down, we hadn’t seen each other.”
Nichelle nodded. “Yeah, I miss her. I can’t wait to see her.”
“Me either. Don’t think I don’t notice you doing more than what you should be,” I said, clocking her.
“I only set the table, Ghana. Relax.” I looked down at her with my brow raised. She giggled lightly. “Okay, but I had to make sure the house was clean. I don’t want anybody saying we're dirty people.”
“Yo’ ass is borderline OCD. The house has been clean since I moved us in here. I want you to chill for the rest of this pregnancy, Nich. Just carry my baby to term. I got everything else. It’s not like they’re staying here.”
“Oh, I thought they were.”
“Nah, Ru bought them a spot last month when Kenzi said she wanted to visit. He refuses to stay under another man’s roof—visiting or not.”
“Fine. Can I have a little spaghetti? I’m hungry.”
I chuckled. “You’re always hungry.”
“No, your baby is always hungry. I already know she’s going to come out greedy and needy, just like her daddy.” She laughed. Although I smiled, I didn’t feel the humor in my heart. The nervous feeling that nestled in my stomach created butterflies that I tried to bottle up and let die.
I busied myself with making her a small portion, then set the bowl down in front of her, along with a bottle of water, just as I heard the engine of a motorcycle in the distance.
“They’re here,” I said and kissed Nichelle’s forehead, then headed for the door.
When I opened it, I saw Ruger’s Harley coming up the block with Kenzi on the back. Just to think, not too long ago, she was on his bike because he had rescued her from a rival motorcycle gang called the Blaze bitches.
He pulled in front of the house, and I stepped out on the porch. He cut the engine, got off, then helped Kenzi off. As soon as she ditched the helmet, she ran up the walkway and jumped into my arms. I received her and hugged her tightly.
“I missed you, Brother.”
“I missed you, too, Sis. Umeshindaje?” (How have you been?) I asked.
“Kamwe bora. Vipi kuhusu wewe?” (Never better. How about you?)
“Sijambo.” (I’m fine.)
“You look good. Healthy and whatnot.” She giggled.
“Trying to stay that way.”
She nodded. “Where preggo at?”
I chuckled. “In the kitchen, stuffing her face already.”
“Let me go see her.” Kenzi went inside as I stepped down to greet Ruger. He talked on the phone a little before he ended the call and smiled at me.
“What’s good, my G?” he asked once I made it to him. We slapped palms and pulled each other into a tight hug.
“Shit much. It’s good to see you, brother.”
“Same. You look good, . . . happy.”
“I’m trying to stay that way, man. How shit going back home?”
“Same shit, different toilet. We lost Flame a few weeks back. Motorcycle accident.”
I frowned slightly. “Damn, why you ain’t tell me? I would have come up.”
“You got baby girl coming in a few short weeks. Your focus should be on that. We sent him off properly, and I brought you an obituary for your keepsake.”
I didn’t speak for a minute. Flame was one of the homies in our motorcycle crew who also looked out for me, so to know he passed away and I was not informed about it was fucked up.
I hated the way people sometimes treated me. I understood my girl was about to have my baby, but she wasn’t due until next month. According to him, Flame died a few weeks ago, so there was no need for me to not show up for him.
“One band, one sound, right?” I asked, reminding him of his own rule.
Ruger stared at me for a minute, then nodded. “That’s right. One band, one sound means we all look out for each other, Grue.”
“Exactly. I should have been there to see him off. It ain’t like he got taken out by a rival gang or some shit.”
“I just wanted you to stay focused, G. No harm, no foul, my baby.”
I sighed softly as I rubbed my tongue over my teeth. I knew Ruger was only looking out for me, but he was also keeping me in the dark. He felt like any little situation would trigger me, and that was the shit I didn’t like.
People were trying to think for me like they knew how the fuck I felt.
“I’m good, Ru. I don’t need you making decisions for me, bro.”
He bit the inside of his jaw and looked off. I knew he wanted to say more, but I needed him to know that he couldn’t son me nor think for me.
“It’s Sunday,” he said, eyes coming back to me. I knew what that shit meant. This was his day of peace, and he didn’t want his peace disrupted. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the shit.
“Yeah, okay, Ru.”
“You gon’ show me your humble abode, or should I take my ass to my house?”
I sucked my teeth. “Stop being dramatic, bruh. Come on in. We’ll revisit this conversation another time.”
He chuckled and followed me inside.
“How’s business going, Sis?” I asked Kenzi as we sat at the dining table, letting the food digest after pigging out. I had poured myself and Ruger bourbon and Kenzi some wine. Nichelle had a virgin daiquiri while cutting a piece of lemon pie for dessert.
“Business is doing well. I got my seventh client last week and hired two more therapists.” She beamed.
“Who she’s become best friends with. Don’t leave that part out.”
I smiled. “I hope they ain’t shit like Nani’s ho ass.”
“Hell no. These women are professional, boss chicks. Nani couldn’t walk a mile in their shoes.”
“Look how she's defending them.” Ruger smirked at her.
“Baby, cut it out. You said you liked Willow and Autumn.”
“I don’t like anybody. I said that so I can get some.”
Nichelle cackled, and I shook my head. I’d never get used to him talking about bedding my sister.
I didn’t want to hear none of that shit.
Since Kenzi graduated from high school, all she talked about was becoming a psychiatrist. I knew why she decided to pursue that field, and that, even if it took her a little longer than expected, she would accomplish her goals, which made me proud of her.
“Anyway. That’s dope, Sis. I’m proud of you.”
She gave me a subtle smile. “Thank you. How are things with you? I know we talk every week, but it’s different seeing you in person.”
“Shit is good. The shelter and the bookstore are doing well. Got a couple of grants to get them some new beds and shit.”
“That’s good! I’m so happy for you.” She looked at Ruger and smiled. “Should I tell them?”
“It’s your world, my love.”
“We’re getting married!” she exclaimed, tossing her hand over the table to show us the big-ass rock on her finger.
I smiled.
I knew it was coming.
Ruger’s ass had been obsessed with my sister since he had to rescue her.
“Oh my God! Look at the size of that thing! Congratulations, toots!” Nichelle said in excitement, but I watched her closely.
Even though she was excited for Kenzi, I knew there was sadness beyond that excitement. Nichelle was a bookworm, so all the shit she read about, the romantic fairy tales and dreams of getting a happily ever after, had been halted because I didn’t consider myself the marrying type.
I wanted to give her everything she wanted, but I couldn’t trust myself to give her what she desired most.
“Congratulations. I knew it was coming,” I said with a smirk on my face.
“Thanks, G.” Ruger tilted his glass toward me.
“Thank y’all. I’m going to start planning after my niece comes. I need you to be fit and ready to be in the wedding.” Kenzi beamed.