Chapter Two
Melissa
December 8, 2024, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
“Danika has made great progress in such a short time. Today, I would like to let her play in the play center while the three of us talk over here.”
My office was large enough to include a play center as well as a seating area for the parents. In my practice, I encouraged the parents to be in the room with their children whenever possible.
And when I wanted to speak with the parents, it helped the children to have something to do while we spoke.
“She hasn’t played by herself at home. We sit with her, or she follows us around the house,” Dante informed me.
“Let’s give her a chance and see what she does. I’d like you both to sit on the couch while I walk her over.”
“Should one of us do that? So she knows we’re still here.”
“Dante.” I heard the warning in Danny’s voice, and I smiled. It was evident that Dante was having the harder time adjusting to Danika. I knew guilt had a lot to do with it, which was why I wanted to speak with them today.
“She will be able to see you, and if she chooses to come back over on her own, we will let her sit with us. But it is important to give her the opportunity to learn on her own while she knows you are close by.”
I held my hand out to the little girl, and she slipped hers into mine. Danika didn’t waver as we examined each play station. I had a kitchen with pots, pans, and food. A nursery with dolls and furniture. As well as strollers and clothes to change the dolls. There was a climbing structure for small children like Danika on the other side of the room, but we avoided that for now. There was a bookshelf filled with colorful children’s picture books and reading books. There were shelves with puzzles, building blocks, crazy beads. I had created a sand table as well as a water table for sensory play. It could be overwhelming for some children, and they needed guidance to choose.
Danika had been coming in every day for the last week, and Danny and Dante would spend the hour playing with her in a different area, letting her experience everything she hadn’t had a chance to do until now. I watched and observed her reactions and how they both interacted with her.
After walking Danika around each area, letting her get familiar with each station to remember how she had played before, I waited to see which one she would gravitate toward.
When she looked back at Danny, I nodded at him.
“Go ahead, Dani, choose something to do,” he instructed her firmly, but with a smile. I had explained that because of her neglect and lack of structure, she had never had anyone tell her to do anything or give her permission to do anything. She needed to learn boundaries, which included setting some of her own.
Danika hesitated for another moment, and when Dante stood, I shook my head. Danny reached out and pulled him back to the couch. I could see the anxiety straining his body, and I felt for him. This was difficult for Dante. Knowing she had been essentially on her own, aside from her basic needs, it would be hard for him to allow her more independence.
Danika moved to the water table, and I smiled. I had hoped that was what she would pick. It was a shallow table only three inches deep, and while children should always be monitored around any type of water, I wanted her to feel secure in her choice.
“Great choice, Dani. Let’s put this over your clothes.”
I helped her put the waterproof smock over her clothes and stood next to her for a few moments while she tentatively touched the water. Dante and Danny had told me when they first brought her home, she was terrified of water. Danny held her in the shower while they washed her up each night. I was optimistic that by letting her play with the water table, they would be able to transition her to baths.
Dani splashed at the table, and when the water went over the side, she looked up at me. Giving her a huge smile, I offered her praise. “Great job, Dani.”
She smiled back, and I knew at that moment, this little girl would overcome the trauma of the first two years of her life.
I walked over to where Danny and Dante sat watching their daughter play. Sitting in a chair opposite them, we all watched her for a few moments, and I saw the tears they both shed. This was an emotional breakthrough, and I was pleased that neither felt it necessary to hide their own emotional response.
“How are you both feeling right now?”
“Overwhelmed,” Danny said.
“Overjoyed,” Dante added.
“Both expected emotions for what you have experienced since you brought Dani home. I would like to talk to you both about Dani’s first two years. The circumstances of her birth and her abduction. What can you tell me about Dani’s mother?”
Danny stiffened, and Dante closed his eyes.
I knew this might be a tough subject.
“Dani’s mother passed away shortly after her birth.” Danny reached over, taking Dante’s hand in his. I knew there was more to the story, but Danny didn’t want Dante to share it. It was something that would have to be dealt with if Dante was ever going to have a healthy relationship with his daughter.
“I am sorry to hear that. Were you together long?”
“It was only one time,” Danny answered.
“Danny, I understand you want to protect Dante. But I need to hear the answers from him. It is important for your relationship with Dani, as well as your relationship with each other, that any trauma experienced not only by Dani, but by the two of you be worked through.”
Dante watched his daughter. He didn’t speak up. He let Danny take the lead in every session. My concern was that while the two men did not exhibit the customary role of a consensual dominant and submissive relationship, that maybe the balance between them also contributed to the trauma they needed to work through.
I hadn’t asked about meeting with them separately but would need to consider that for the future.
“Dante, could you tell me about Dani’s mother?”
With a heavy sigh, he relented, “Danny’s right. It was only one time. We didn’t know each other. We never saw each other again after that. That’s why I never knew about Danika.”
“Did you know her name?”
Dante shook his head. The shame he felt over having sex with Dani’s mom was evident in the way he watched her. His eyes were glassy, and he clung to Danny’s hand.
“Was she the first woman you had been with?”
“Yes,” he rasped, the emotion thick in his voice. My heart broke for Dante. I suspected there was more to the story and it wouldn’t be good.
“Doc, could we talk about something else?”
“We can move on for now, Danny. But there will come a time that these things will need to be dealt with. As I told you when we started, Dani’s therapy included the both of you too. Everyone has trauma of one kind or another. It is important for you both to set an example for Dani. For now, let’s talk about your parents.”
“Jesus Christ,” Danny cursed.
I watched the two of them closely. “Is there a problem, Danny?”
“You’re asking questions we can’t answer.”
“Why not?”
Dante stood from the couch; this time Danny didn’t stop him. He walked over to sit with Dani. He smiled at his daughter and reached into the table, picking up a cup of water and pouring it over her hand. Imitating his movements, she did the same and poured the water over Dante’s hand.
Dante wasn’t feminine in nature, but he was clearly the nurturer of the two of them. Taking on the role of what would be the mother in a heterosexual family structure. While Danny took on the role of the father. The protector. His love for Dante was the only thing he wasn’t hiding from me. He wanted to protect Dante at all costs.
“Let’s talk about you, Danny. Tell me about your family.”
“Dante and Dani are my family.”
I smiled. He was avoiding the emotions I suspected were hard for him to allow himself to feel about his own past.
“Tell me about your dad.”
He scoffed, “Isn’t it always the mom shrinks ask about? Blame all your faults on the mother and how she raised you?”
“I suspect your parents raised you in a loving, secure home. So, no, I wouldn’t blame your faults on either of them.”
“What makes you think that?”
“The way you are with Dante and Dani. The way you love them unconditionally. You have taken on Dani without any objection to her not being connected to your DNA. There aren’t many people that will do that as completely as you have. Sure, there are thousands of men and women who become stepparents and love their spouse’s children. But the way you are with Dani, no one would ever suspect she wasn’t yours biologically. I commend that. The way you want to protect them. Bringing Dani to therapy was a bold move for a man who is as dominant as you are. Most men think therapy is a load of crap and think that anyone who needs a shrink is somehow less of a person because of it. Yet, you support them both. You learned those traits from someone.”
Danny smiled then, and I felt like I had finally broken through his gruff exterior.
“My parents were the best. For the longest time, I felt like they didn’t understand me. Like my dad was ashamed of me.”
“Why did you think that?”
“I was different from my brothers.”
“Different how?”
The way he rubbed his hands over his face, I thought for sure he would tell me to fuck off.
“I was the youngest of four boys. I was small and skinny as a teen. Always had my face glued to a book or computer screen. My rebellion was to wear all black, pierce anything I could, and wear colored contacts. Any time my father introduced me to someone new, I wore red ones.”
“You wanted to be seen.”
“Yea, I guess I did.”
“Did you feel unseen by your parents and brothers?”
“No,” he huffed. “My mother wasn’t the type of woman to let anyone be unseen. She loved hard. She adopted my sister when she was eighteen. She always wanted a girl and along came Ari. When my mom found out she didn’t have any family, she didn’t hesitate to pull her into ours.”
“How did you feel about that?”
“I love Ari. We all do.”
“But that was one more sibling to pull your parents from you.”
“You don’t understand, Doc. My parents had enough love for thousands of kids. It was a crime they only got to claim five.”
“That’s why you claimed Dani so easily.”
“Yea, I guess it was. They showed me that family isn’t just the people you’re given, it’s the people you choose.”
When our session ended, I felt disappointed I hadn’t spoken more with Dante. But the insight into Danny told me a lot. It appeared as though Danny wanted Dante to keep his secrets buried, maybe out of fear or judgment. But Danny clearly knew those secrets and knew how much they hurt Dante.
The love this young man displayed was astounding. I wasn’t sure if he realized it, but like Danny shared about his mom, he too loved hard. Dante and Danika were very fortunate to have Danny beside them. He was the type of man that would burn the world down for his family.
We should all be so lucky as to find someone to love us the way Danny loved his family.