Chapter 29
LOUIS
“Don’t go.”
A single tear trailed down my cheek as Matthew read those words.
It felt like they were coming from Matthew himself.
Matty’s eyes returned to his iPad. He’d have some dead space he’d need to edit out later, but I didn’t think that was a concern to him at the moment.
“I have to. You know I have to.”
“I don’t know anything anymore.”
Sam turned back to look at me. Was it for the last time? His dad was gone. The property had been sold. There was no reason for him to come back to Willow Wood ever again.
“I won’t ever forget you,” he said, confirming my suspicions that he wasn’t planning to return. A sob escaped as he pressed his lips to my forehead, and then he turned and walked away. Out of my life. Forever.
My heart shattered, the fragmented pieces carried away on the wind.
Silence filled the room after Matthew stopped the recording. A few more tears fell, but I didn’t move, and neither did he. This moment felt bigger than the story. Philip and Sam’s pain was a real living thing occupying the five feet of space separating me from Matty.
Another tear fell, this time running down Matthew’s cheek, and I couldn’t remain in my seat any longer.
I crossed to him and pulled him into my arms, holding him against me with all the desperate yearning in my heart. His arms came around me, enveloping me in his warmth, and we clung to each other, saying without words what we couldn’t, or maybe weren’t ready, to say out loud.
At length, we stepped back, and I turned, wordlessly taking his hand and pulling him behind me toward the door.
We made our way up the stairs, through the quiet bookstore, and then up another flight into his apartment.
The sun had gone down, blanketing the apartment in darkness, and Ernie greeted us with a hungry meow, but these things barely registered as I pulled Matty toward his bedroom.
I flipped on the switch to the bedside lamp, casting the room in a soft glow, then stepped back to Matthew, peeling his sweater up and over his head.
We stripped out of the remainder of our clothes, pausing every so often to stamp kisses into each other’s skin, as if they were tattoos of the memory of us.
Of who we were and what we meant to each other for this brief moment in time.
We climbed onto the bed, Matthew’s body blanketing mine as if we had done this a hundred times before.
He framed my face with both hands, staring deep into my eyes as though searching for the answer to a question he hadn’t given voice to.
And then, finally, he kissed me. It was sweet and tender and needy and desperate, mirroring my feelings exactly.
My hands roamed down his back, fingertips committing the feel of each inch of skin to memory.
As I traced the contour of his ass, arriving at the intersection of buttocks and back of the thigh, I squeezed, pulling his pelvis into mine.
I swallowed his groan, feeling the rumble of it transfer from his chest into mine, as our cocks rubbed against each other.
I rocked my hips against him, my hands continuing to hold him right where I wanted him. Not that he seemed to mind. His hips had begun a rhythm of their own, rocking in tandem with my own.
We continued in this fashion, beads of sweat forming along my brow as we rutted against each other.
His mouth slid down to my jaw, his beard abrading my skin in the most delicious way as he nipped and sucked at my skin.
Pressure built. Nerves frayed and unraveled.
Sparks flew. I was flying, rising higher and higher until—
“Wait.” I released my grip on his ass in favor of grabbing his shoulders to get his attention.
His brows rose, concern clearing away the lust-filled haze in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I brushed a strand of hair away from his sweaty forehead. “I just don’t want you to come until you’re inside me, Matty.”
His eyes blew wide and the lust-filled haze returned in full force. “Show me what to do.”
I directed him to retrieve the lube, explaining that there would need to be some prep before we proceeded.
He dropped a kiss on the tip of my nose on his way to poke around in the drawer next to the bed, coming out with the bottle of liquid and a frown.
“I don’t have any condoms. I haven’t needed them for years and—”
“Shh.” I placed a finger across his lips. “I had my yearly physical a month ago and haven’t been with anyone since. We’re good.”
Relief smoothed out the creases in his forehead, and he kissed me long and deep.
When we were both breathless, cocks hard and aching once again, I began to talk him through the prep, having him lubricate his fingers and press one inside.
He moved cautiously, brow furrowed in concentration, but I encouraged him to sink deeper until his first finger was seated fully inside me.
My hookups had been few and far between in the last year, and even then they’d been limited to blow jobs and hand jobs.
I’d forgotten how good it felt to welcome someone into my body.
“That’s it, Matty. Feels so good.” I arched my head back as a tendril of pleasure wound itself up my spine. “You can add another.”
He did as I instructed, adding another finger, and then another, moving with care as he slid his fingers in and out of my body.
He turned his hand slightly, inadvertently grazing my prostate, and my body lit up like a Christmas tree.
Arching my head back, I screeched, and Matthew’s hand instantly stilled.
“What is it? Did I hurt you?”
My eyes popped open, my gaze landing on his worried features. “You hit my prostate. Felt amazing.”
Watching my face, he moved his fingers inside me, searching for that magic button. It took him a couple of tries, but when he found it I couldn’t help but let out another high-pitched moan. “That’s it. Right there. Feels so good.”
He hit it again, but on the fourth time I stopped him. “No more. Please. Want you inside.” I’d lost the ability to form complete sentences. “Lube your cock. Hurry.”
In another place, in another time, he might have laughed at my desperation, but in that moment I thought he was just as desperate as I was.
I pulled back my legs, giving him full access to my body.
His blue eyes, almost black with lust, bore into me with an intensity I couldn’t possibly look away from, as the tip of his dick nudged at my entrance.
He looked like he might say something, but then he pursed his lips and slowly pressed forward.