Epilogue
Zosia
I think I’m dreaming ….
After fielding the detectives’ questions, many of which we couldn’t answer, I found myself unexpectedly exhausted. Sage finally spoke, encouraging us all to rest before confronting the questions on our minds.
When I fell asleep, I wasn’t alone. All four of my mates insisted they would sleep in my huge bed, although Garrett warned everyone that nothing sexual could happen while he was there. The majority of us are too exhausted to try, and Kodi remains incorporeal. The massive shifter lies on one side of me while the others occupy the other side of the bed. I doubted my ability to sleep with them so close, but it wasn’t an issue.
This is why I think I’m dreaming. I’m no longer in my bed. My first reaction is fear and suspicion, but these disappear when I sense Sage’s overwhelming presence. Am I in the heart cave again? Why did she bring me here?
Us …, I amend when I glance around. My men are with me. With two on either side, they appear confused and wary. A closer inspection reveals that their reactions are mostly reflexive. They, too, can feel the library’s soothing presence and reassurance that we are safe. Kodi is solid, and Avery’s eyes are less opaque than usual – his eyes adopt this quality when he can see. With a nod directly toward me, he confirms my suspicion before looking around.
I’m not in the strange place I dubbed the heart cave, although it feels strangely familiar. It’s still an enclosed space, but the walls are sleek and soft instead of rough rock. The lighting is silvery instead of shadowed; it reminds me of moonlight. The five of us are sitting on wooden benches that are similar to the library’s furniture. My legs had been altered in the heart cave, but they are unchanged now.
I absorb all of this information in less than a minute.
“Welcome, Librarian Zosia and Guardians.” Sage’s voice rings in my ears instead of my mind. It carries more depth than usual because of this, and it draws my gaze to the movement ahead of us. The great sphinx appears, her face regal but strangely abstract. The first time I saw her, she resembled a distant ancestor. This time, her features seem to shift if we stare long enough. It’s dizzying until she comes fully into view and adopts a different face – one far more feline than anyone in my lineage. The humanness in her head is nearly absent in this aspect.
“What you see is an illusion of the mind, child,” she says directly in answer to my thoughts – just as she always has. “I can alter this place and my appearance at will. Indeed, taking a physical form isn’t necessary, but we’ve learned that human minds are easily confused and rely on visual input.” Although most of what she says can be considered condescending, none of us take offense.
“You are Sage?” Kodi blurts, his eyes wide with wonder. Avery has his head bowed as if greeting a deity.
“That is one of my names,” the entity responds. “Lift your head, child,” she tells Avery. He does as she says, but his gaze is still reverent. Bren’s expression suggests he is trying to solve a grand puzzle, while Garrett appears vaguely uncomfortable. He must feel Sage’s power. The alpha in both of us struggles against it to some degree.
“Is this a dream?” I ask.
The creature shrugs with her wings just like I do in sphinx form. “You may consider it that if you like. Unlike a dream, however, I am in control. You shall remember everything when you return.”
“Why did you summon us?” Garrett’s voice is curious rather than demanding as he restrains his arrogant nature.
Sage seems to understand this because her cat mouth twitches slightly with amusement before answering. “Because we need to talk, and this is the only place I deem truly safe.”
“From Cronos, you mean,” Bren prods.
Sage inclines her head in something like a nod as she sits on her haunches before us. She’s close enough that we can see the details of her form but far enough away that we cannot touch her even if one of us were to lunge. She’s also raised upon a pedestal that resembles a dais. I doubt it means the same thing, however. It’s more likely to facilitate meeting our gazes without looking up. As a quadruped shifter, I understand this.
“Yes. Tell me, do the four of you believe that you traveled to another timeline as Cronos’ representative implied?” Her question is carefully neutral and hides her opinion of the situation.
“No,” I reply immediately. Bren and Avery echo me while Garrett stays quiet. When Sage’s gaze rests on him, he shrugs his massive shoulders.
“I am uncertain,” he replies.
“Please explain your answers,” she urges, reminding me of a stern professor. Her paw lifts when we open our mouths at the same time. “One at a time, please. I am versed in many languages but not that of four people speaking at once.”
Kodi snorts in agreement, but he may just be feeling left out.
“Let’s go from left to right,” I suggest. “Bren, you start.” The order isn’t entirely random. Bren will say what many of us are probably thinking, reducing the need for repetition. He’s also bouncing in his seat, eager to explain.
“I might have believed the Timekeeper if it weren’t for the devices. When she handed us the little buttons to place behind our ears, I figured the process involved manipulating our minds to some degree. I also don’t believe time travel is actually real. If it were, Cronos wouldn’t have any need to interfere like this. They, whoever they are, wouldn’t need any assistance to achieve their goal – if their goal is to acquire the libraries’ power.”
Bren seems like he has more to say, but Sage’s nod indicates approval. Avery takes over. “My doubts set in when I realized our link to Kodi wasn’t entirely severed. The Timekeeper insisted that Kodi didn’t exist on other timelines, which means that we shouldn’t have felt anything if we were in an entirely different place and time. I admit that I do not know much about the manipulation of time, but this anomaly struck me as wrong.”
Sage nods again. I take a deep breath. “After Avery encouraged me to find my link to Kodi, I also found my link to you. You seemed just as near. The library we were supposedly taken to wasn’t a library.” My nose wrinkles. “It wasn’t anything at all. If these were true timelines, shouldn’t they be more similar but also more different? I understand the concept of nature versus nurture, but it doesn’t make sense. I felt as if we were deposited into a performance – one in which the actors were real but the scenery and the environment were conjured.”
I nudge Garrett, indicating I’m done, and he clears his throat. “I agree with the others and can’t give specific details. I will say, however, that it felt wrong. I have been immersed in virtual reality environments before – computer simulations that feel nearly real. With the device behind my ear and the slight dizziness in my senses when we arrived, it felt like that.”
Sage gives each of us an appraising glance before addressing Kodi. “And you? I realize you didn’t travel, but what is your impression?”
“You’re right. I didn’t travel,” Kodi replies. I can tell he feels grateful not to be forgotten. “But the others didn’t either. The Timekeeper led them deeper into the blue fog. I think she thought I couldn’t see them, but I could. They didn’t actually go anywhere; they just stood there like they were in a trance. I acted like I couldn’t see them. This went on for a while before the guy that looks like Addington showed up, and they came out of it.”
I am not the only one that gapes at Kodi. “Why didn’t you tell us this before?” I hiss.
Kodi shrugs. “I tried to, but there was too much going on. You kept saying we’d have the conversation later, so I was waiting for it.”
Sage’s whiskers twitch again, and she speaks before anyone else can chide him. “You weren’t supposed to be able to see them anymore, but I might have had a hand in that,” she says smugly. “It was my effort to ensure that none of you believed Cronos’ lies. I needn’t have worried, however. Your instincts are perfectly correct. Garrett has the most accurate explanation. These other timelines, as Cronos calls them, are merely simulated worlds. They exist only in a virtual sense.”
“How did …?” I start, but Sage holds up another paw and her tail flicks against the floor. I press my lips together in an effort to stay silent.
“Please allow me to finish. I know the questions you have. The ones you met while traveling are characters based on algorithms that input certain factors. These algorithms act just like Zosia said – calculating nature versus nurture and simulating the outcome. The computer created a version of Zosia as she might have been if she’d been raised in a boarding school with living parents. Although the adults were led to believe that Addington’s betrayal prevented her from shifting, it isn’t true. No computer simulation can create a librarian in her true form. Cronos has attempted and failed at this endeavor for longer than I know.”
While we contemplate Sage’s words, bursting with questions, she begins to pace. The movement is short-lived in the small area but displays the impressive muscles of her body and the shades of her feathers. Many of her feathers are black, but just as many are dark grey or silver. Her fur is several shades darker than my golden coat, but the color shifts in a way that makes me think she can appear lighter or darker at will.
“I understand that your encounter with a computer simulation does not explain how you brought back a living, breathing person. The simulation is primarily a ruse, invented to deceive those Cronos keeps under their control – employees and actors alike. This is not the whole of their tricks, however. They can also copy a soul, like the man who joined you here. I’m convinced that he’s been waiting in reserve for some time.”
“Copies,” I breathe. When Sage doesn’t immediately shush me, I brave a question. “Can they not copy librarians? Is that why there aren’t any other sphinxes?”
“That is correct. The process you underwent as a child – I believe it was an attempt to copy your soul – not necessarily steal your magic. Stealing your magic would have rendered it useless.”
As I contemplate this, Sage’s expression grows amused. I think it’s out of place until she speaks and explains why. “Ask your questions, curious guardians.” My men are bursting with curiosity and the need to know – just like me.
“Where is Cronos?”
“Why haven’t we heard of them?”
“Are they the enemy?”
“How many libraries are there? Are they like you?”
The questions are fired rapidly. I join in, adding the last one.
Sage sits in the center of the platform again and regards us. The feline features of her face still manage to appear mostly human, and I can’t decide whether it’s a trick of my mind. “I understand it’s not easy to believe something that goes against everything you’ve learned or think you know, and I appreciate your trust. I don’t ask that you offer it blindly, and I hope that you will remember this as new discoveries are made.
“I shall try to address your curiosity, but I can’t offer an answer to every question. A long time ago, I knew more, but I am currently limited by my stability in this location. Let me begin where all things begin – at the beginning. Scientists and other brilliant minds have determined the cause of the habitable universe your kind calls home. It involves multiple complicated interactions that you can read about on the science floor, so I won’t rehash the details. As for the current state of your solar system, its makeup is somewhat different than you know. Three habitable planets all circle the same sun with a similar orbit, distance, and gravity. The topography of each planet might differ, but their creation was not without some … meddling.”
She pauses, and the sudden silence is nearly deafening. I don’t believe any of us are breathing. Sage is a storyteller – that much is certain. Although her words aren’t that descriptive, we all have an image in our mind of three Gaias, lush, green, and populated. We don’t doubt her despite what we’ve been taught. She seems to gauge this before continuing.
“These three habitable planets were once in harmony and communication with each other. They made up the Triad of Zhi. Gaia is the planet we currently occupy. Alongside her are Pangaea and Atlantia. When the planets were prosperous and cooperative, they each housed a library. Now, only two are functional, and they are both on Gaia. The Eastern library you’ve heard of currently resides in Nepal. She used to exist on the planet of Pangaea. The library on Atlantia is currently hidden and can only be called forth by their next librarian.”
Again, we burst with questions, and I’m surprised we don’t bombard her with them as we did a moment ago. She nods once and thumps her tail in appreciation, her actions seeming to praise our patience. “As I said before, I do not have all of the information, but I can answer a few of the questions burning within you.”
Sage pauses again, assessing each of us as if sifting through our thoughts. “Guardian Garrett, you have a question.”
“How can we not know that we aren’t alone in the universe?”
Sage nods with satisfaction. “Your suspicions serve you well, Guardian, and this is a question I can – and will – answer. Like power, knowledge can be hoarded. It can be controlled to such a point that it becomes insignificant. It can be hidden and twisted and only released to a certain group of people. The masses are not that group of people. The OSC will speak of it, however, and I will not let you into that discussion ignorant. I will offer you more knowledge and advice before you approach the delegation body. Those in power control this information so zealously that they won’t expect you to have it. This will offer our library an advantage – an opportunity to root out corruption and the restriction of knowledge.”
“Thank you,” Garrett murmurs. I can feel his reverence and respect for Sage grow. She is on our side; this knowledge lends undeniable strength.
“Librarian, you have a question as well.”
I startle out of my thoughts regarding future OSC board meetings, but the question I had remains at the forefront of my mind. “Why isn’t Pangaea’s library on Pangaea?”
Sage nods again, pleased with my question. The longer we’re here, the more it feels like a professor lecturing their class. “Why indeed?” Her sigh carries sadness, pain, and grief. “I mentioned that in the beginning, the triad of Zhi worked side by side. As we know, though, power corrupts. The ruler of most of Pangaea subverted the will of the Librarian and used her knowledge to subvert the will of the people.”
“Cronos,” Bren breathes.
Sage acknowledges his single word with another heavy sigh. “That is the name they carry today, yes. Their actions caused a reset to your solar system, and the three planets were essentially reseeded. When evolution began again, Pangaea was uninhabitable. The libraries decided to keep the planets mostly separate to avoid further destruction. We didn’t realize the entity that is now Cronos survived the reset.”
My head whirls for the first time since Sage started her explanations. “Are you a god?” I whisper.
Sage’s laugh is similar to a growling huff. “What is a god, child?”
“A god is defined as the creator and ruler of a universe, the supreme being, a spirit worshiped as having power over nature or human fortunes,” Bren recites the words like a quote, but he doesn’t credit the Oxford dictionary.
“Hmmm,” Sage rumbles as she rustles her feathers and twitches her ears. “Let me consider. We – meaning my fellow Libraries and I – did not create the universe, although we did influence its creation and recreation. We do not desire to rule or to be worshiped, and we have no power over nature, nor do we crave it. Our power over human fortunes is purely through education, information, and the role we play as the keepers of knowledge.”
“There is no word in our language that defines your role,” Avery remarks.
Sage nods again, her feline head bouncing up and down with the human gesture. “This is accurate,” she replies. “Time is growing short, so I will impart that which is necessary to your current situation. At this moment in time, Cronos will turn their attention away from you. They have a plan for the Eastern Library, which I have already surmised and … what is the current colloquial saying?” she muses aloud. “Ah yes, I have thrown a wrench into their plans and alerted the proper players without alerting Cronos. I promise that Cronos cannot see or hear anything within my walls. You are all safe now, and I shall endeavor to ensure this remains the case. Over time, you shall learn more about Cronos and the history of Zhi so that you might prepare.”
“Prepare?” I repeat in a hollow voice. My men on either side of me both grasp my hand reassuringly. Although I can feel them in this strange, liminal place, their touch is less solid.
“Do not fear, child. You are not alone. I know this has been difficult for you to accept in regard to your guardians, but I need you to extend the idea further. The other librarians, once they are ready, can be as trustworthy and dear to you as your mates have become. The other libraries and library assistants, creatures like me and the goblins, will lend their assistance as well. You are all my children now. Although none of you have experienced the wrath of a truly dedicated mother, I will be that for you in the years to come.”
A mischievous twinkle shines in her eyes, presaging her next words. “I’ve taken the liberty of closing the library for the rest of the week. The five of you should spend time with each other, strengthen your bonds, and become more comfortable with the jobs you are performing. The goblins will return, but your reliance on them will diminish. Finatan shall also take over instructing you regarding Zhi and all that we learn while researching Cronos. It is difficult, and sometimes dangerous, for me to materialize like this.”
I still have so many questions, but I know our time together is at an end. “I am proud of you all, my children, and I know you shall continue to make me proud.”
Praise from a god-like being feels amazing and a little unearned, but I allow Sage’s words to seep into me as we drift back to sleep – or wake up – I’m uncertain.
All I know is that I am back in my bed with the others. The night is silent and dark around us, but we’re all awake. Garrett curls into me on my right while Avery performs a similar motion on my other. Bren’s arm curls around the vampire to rest on my stomach, and Kodi hovers over us. I can’t tell if his body is glowing or if the room is dimly lit.
“Well, that was weird,” I say as I touch them, moving from one to the other. I even trail my fingers through the static bite of Kodi’s form.
“It sounds like the battle against Cronos won’t happen for a while – maybe even years. I can handle that.”
Garrett snorts. “You can’t die in said battle, ghost. Of course, you’re not worried.”
Kodi’s face screws up. “I hadn’t actually considered that, to be honest. I forget sometimes …, but I’m not wrong. Losing Zosia would be like dying again. My afterlife will end when her life ends.” He says this with such certainty that I believe it’s the truth.
“Fair enough,” Garrett concedes with a grunt.
“I’m not going to die, boo,” I tell my best friend. “I am an all-powerful sphinx.” It’s meant to sound like boastful teasing, but no one argues.
“Yes, you are,” Avery whispers against my temple.
Garrett holds me tighter. “Never forget it,” he commands in his alpha voice.
“Bren?” I speak the mage’s name because he’s been quiet.
“I’m here,” he replies quietly. “I’m enjoying this moment of peace and togetherness and not thinking about the future, to be honest.” He pauses as we soak in his calm. “I love you, little lioness.”
More warmth climbs onto my cheeks, but I don’t dismiss his words or diminish them. “I love you too, Bren. I love all of you. I know it’s weird saying it like this, but it’s true. I want you all to know.”
“You already know I love you, princess,” Kodi quips. “I’d turn solid and kiss you, but I’d just squish you once gravity takes over.”
“I’d appreciate not having you fall on me,” Garrett drawls before turning to me. “You, however, can fall on me anytime. I love you, kitten.” The alpha shifter’s words are gruff but honest.
“You are my sun, my moon, and my reason for living,” Avery murmurs. While Kodi and Garrett tease the vampire about his poetic confession, I lay silent and enjoy their presence.
I’ve been alone most of my life, but I never have to feel that way again. We might not be guaranteed an easy existence, but it doesn’t matter. I have them, I have Sage, and I have a million books to read. I couldn’t ask for more. No matter what happens, we will face it and emerge stronger. This is our destiny – the chance to love honestly and openly – and I will be grateful for every second.