Chapter 26 #2
“Tonight?” he asks as I head for the door.
“Training,” I say, though we both know I barely last twenty minutes before exhaustion—real or performed—has me collapsing onto that couch.
Then he holds me until I fall asleep, and I pretend that’s all this is. Physical comfort. Nothing that requires explanation or confession.
Dew dampens my shoes as I hurry along the path back to my family’s cabin, mentally rehearsing excuses if someone spots me. Early walk? Couldn’t sleep? Checking the area?
The Wolf Zombies haven’t returned since that first night, but no one believes they’re gone for good.
Ramirez and Julien take turns leading patrols, checking the fence line, and installing more can alarms. The silence makes me more nervous than howling would.
Like they’re out there, watching, waiting for us to lower our guard.
I pause at the edge of the clearing, making sure no one’s around before dashing to our cabin door.
Inside, the main room is empty, but I hear movement from my parents’ room.
I grab my towel and clean clothes, ducking into the small bathroom just as my mother’s door creaks open.
Water sputters from the pipes as I turn the handle—thanks to Cameron.
He spent three days crawling through mud and spiders to reconnect and fix the water system, refusing to quit even when my father said it was a waste of time.
The look on my father’s face when that first stream of water burst from the tap was almost worth the apocalypse.
It’s the biggest luxury, though we’re still heating it with fire for showers most days.
My father still hasn’t spoken to me or come near me. It helps, and this way of living together works. Otherwise, I wouldn’t know how to stop Julien or if I even would want to stop him…
I stand under the cold spray, scrubbing away the night’s sweat and the lingering scent of him.
But as I turn the shower off, guilt creeps in. It’s not like my parents could stop me, but still, I hide. It’s cowardly. I know it is. But I can’t seem to step over that threshold with Julien, to admit what I want.
The question is: What does he want?
I wrap the towel around me, squeeze water from my hair, and pad to the room I share with my sister.
Amelia sits up in bed, already awake. “Good morning.”
“Morning. You’re up early.”
“Shower working okay?”
“Yeah. Just cold.”
“Mm.” She takes a sip of water from her bottle. “Where were you?”
“Showering.”
“Before that.”
My fingers find my wrist, circling. “Couldn’t sleep. Went for a walk.”
“A walk.” She doesn’t make it a question, which is somehow worse. “Was it nice?”
“It was… peaceful.” I drop my towel and focus on getting dressed.
Thanks to Sienna’s scavenging skills, I got a pair of jeans that actually fit well and a thermal shirt that doesn’t smell like strangers.
Amelia reaches for her pill case, the oversized jacket slipping off one shoulder. She jerks the jacket back up, fingers fumbling with the fabric. “Cold in here.”
“Maybe Cameron can get us a heater one day.”
“That would be nice.” She rustles her pill case. “You know what Julien’s doing today?”
“Did you already take your pill?” I pull the thermal shirt over my head, smoothing down the fabric.
Amelia nods, pill case clicking shut in her hands. “While you were showering.”
“How many do you have left?”
“Uh… Maybe two weeks.” She sets the case on the nightstand.
“Still?” I turn to face her fully. When we first arrived, she had maybe three weeks’ worth. That was two weeks ago. The math doesn’t add up.
“Yeah.” Her fingers pluck at the bedsheet. “I’ve been taking one per day instead of two.”
The words hit like cold water. “Meli, you can’t just—”
“I can.” She meets my eyes, chin lifted. “I’m okay. Better than running out.”
I’ve been dreading the day we’d need to risk a pharmacy run, but at this rate… We need to. Soon. Still. Her color’s better than it’s been in months. The dark circles under her eyes have faded. She’s moving easier, breathing without that shallow catch that used to worry me.
I sink onto my bed. “Okay, but the second—”
“I will tell you.” She smooths her hair back, tucking loose strands behind her ears. “So, do you know what Julien’s doing today?”
“Why would I know that?” That was too snappy. “I mean—I don’t. Why?”
“Just wondering.” She shrugs. “I was thinking of asking him to help me sit by the water. Mom thinks it’s too dangerous to go alone, and I’m not asking Dad.”
I force my hands to stop shaking. “I can take you.”
“I know you can. But you’re already doing so much for me. Julien knows more about the area. And I haven’t really talked to him. We used to be very good friends, you know.”
If she really is still in love with him… This makes me the worst sister in the world.
“Before everything. Before Dad got involved with—” She waves her hand vaguely. “It would be nice.”
My stomach twists. “Right.”
“Unless…” Her eyes narrow. “Unless there’s a reason I shouldn’t ask him?”
Because I’m sleeping in his arms every night. Because he touches me like I’m precious. Because I think I’m falling for him, and I know you saw him first.
Because I want him.
“No reason.” I turn away, pretending to search for socks. “Ask whatever you want.”
“Okay. If you find him first, let him know.”
I nod, unable to speak around the lump forming in my throat.
This is why I don’t cross it.