Chapter 28
After returning to my apartment to shower and change into my denim shorts, flip-flops and a T-shirt, I walk into town to go shopping.
It’s not long before playful photos of Big Mand, Big Sue, Ged and Liam flood the WhatsApp group.
They are having a great time up at Algar Falls.
I laugh at the photo where Big Mand and Big Sue have Ged and Liam on their shoulders as they wrestle under the waterfall.
There’s a video of an incredibly tanned Ged jumping off the ledge into the rock pool below.
He looks impossibly shredded. It must be all that juice cleansing and intermittent fasting he does.
There are photos of each couple gazing adoringly at each other, endless group selfies and a brilliant one of all four of them sitting cross-legged on a rock ledge, with their backs to the camera, as they face the imposing mountains that the waterfalls are nestled in.
I love-heart emoji the photos while I troop from one shop in the old town to the next, hunting for a pink sequined pantsuit.
PING. Big Sue reveals that Ged had actually painted abs on his chest, but that the water has now washed it off. We all laugh emoji it.
PING. There’s a message from Tash saying thanks a bunch for leaving her behind. Asking why they didn’t have the decency to wake her up and invite her.
PING. Big Sue reminds Tash that she bit her arm the last time she tried to wake her and she still has the scars to prove it. Besides, Tash was very clear about not being disturbed today.
PING. Seconds later, Cherry posts that Tash can help her with the costumes as there are still lots of adjustments to make and hems to sew, and bizarre brown stains that are proving difficult to remove.
PING. Tash is too busy to help all of a sudden. Something unexpected has come up.
PING. Big Mand guesses that the unexpected thing to come up is another four hours in bed. We all cry-laugh emoji it.
PING. Dan warns me that we are following Bongos Bingo tonight at Voices, which means that the crowd will be extra rowdy. I inform the group that he has invited us all to join in, if we fancy it.
PING. Everyone is up for Bongos Bingo. We agree to meet at Voices at 5 p.m. for food and happy hour before it starts.
* * *
After trailing around what seems like every shop in Benidorm, I’m not in the slightest bit surprised that I cannot find a pink sparkly suit anywhere. I’ve done a DuckDuckGo search, and the only shop to come up is a drag-costume warehouse nestled in the heart of the cobbled old town.
I stop for a quick break in the vibrant Tapas Alley, breathe in the enticing aromas and marvel at how quaint it is compared to the British end of Benidorm.
The restaurant-lined narrow lane is bustling with lively chatter from people sitting outside with beers, bottles of wine, plates of fresh, fragrant seafood, tiny fried fish, and baskets of crusty bread.
The smells drifting on the air are incredible.
I lose myself in the selection of quintessentially Spanish light bites behind the glass counters on top of each bar, stretching as far as you can see down the street.
There are almost too many pinchos to choose from.
I run my gaze over the small slices of baguette with multiple ingredients creatively stacked on top of one another, bursting with colour and held by a cocktail stick.
The bright yellow cheeses contrasting against the richness of the salamis and meats, the vibrant reds and greens of the grilled peppers, the juicy pink prawns and the thick slabs of warm tortilla fill the trays.
Just as I’m about to decide which of these charming bars to sit in, I get the sudden sixth sense that I’m being watched.
I immediately spin round and spot Luke in the crowd, because he is a foot taller than your average tourist. He is laughing at something someone is saying.
That someone is not Liberty. It is an older woman who looks very sophisticated.
I watch as they exchange cheek kisses before she leaves him.
I’m still staring at him when he catches sight of me.
The surprise on his face seems genuine, which immediately throws me off guard.
We stand rigid as people bustle around us.
Neither of us seems to know how to react.
A few seconds go by while I assess the situation. We should really clear the air. Luke bites his lip and frowns as though contemplating whether our speaking is a good idea. I decide to take matters into my own hands and walk towards him. ‘Are you following me?’
‘I swear this is a coincidence,’ he blurts at the same time, while I’m still a few feet away, pushing through the crowd. He holds his palms up. ‘I know this looks bad, but I had no idea you’d be here.’
‘You had no idea I’d be here. In Benidorm? I literally told you I was coming here.’
‘I mean I had no idea you’d be in this street… at this time… on this day. Honestly. Obviously, generally speaking, I did come here to Benidorm… to see you. To apologise properly.’
I don’t believe him. ‘Then why not just text me?’ I shout back above the heads.
He visibly swallows. ‘Because I deleted your number from my phone after the tour, and Dolly wouldn’t give it to me again because of the way I behaved towards you. Then when I came to Benidorm Palace, Liberty said you didn’t want to have anything to do with me and that I should forget it.’
People are beginning to push their way between us as we jostle to talk to each other in the centre of the throng. We couldn’t be standing in a more inconvenient place.
‘I just wanted the chance to say I’m sorry. Sorry for tricking you into staying at the hotel in York. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was just so excited to… Sorry. Excuse me. Let me help you with that.’
I watch as Luke, all politeness, bends to help a young woman pushing a buggy through the crowd.
The wheel has jammed in the cobbled stones.
He lifts the pram up and sets it down again.
She thanks him and after he answers her in what sounds like impeccable Spanish, he continues as though it didn’t happen.
‘I was just so excited to get to know you. We had this chemistry on stage. And instead, I messed it all up. I had my chance to impress you, and I blew it.’
He’s not wrong there.
This time a large and very lively walking tour group come to stand in the same spot we are in.
They are instructed to admire the architecture of the old buildings.
The guide points to the famous sign for Calle Santo Domingo and sweeps his arm around the compact square leading down to several narrow pedestrianised lanes crammed with foodies taking delight in the famous culinary treasure trove of authentic Spanish cuisine.
Luke nods towards one of the empty alleyways. I make my way to the side of the lane, squeezing through the crowd. Luke follows me, keeping a respectable distance.
‘I was awful. I was trying to seduce you with big romantic gestures and… I got it all terribly wrong.’ He is shoegazing, and his cheeks are flaming with embarrassment.
He sounds genuine. I just wish he would look me in the eye while he is rambling. Instead, he’s talking nervously to the palms of his hands that he is waving around like a politician.
‘But the proposal was genuine. Yes, it was spur of the moment… and totally weird and I was horrendously drunk and high, but I’ll always regret the way I messed that up.’ His eyes finally meet mine. ‘I completely blew my chance with you, didn’t I?’
I nod back. ‘And who jumps on a plane just to say sorry? And threatening to quit your job unless the Sinfonia kept me on board? Can’t you see that’s all a bit stalkery?’
Luke’s face drops a mile. ‘Oh, my God. No. Please. That’s not what I intended.
Not at all. Sorry. I’m just making things worse.
I see that. I thought that if there was some way I could make it up to you, you’d forgive me, and then when we tour together for the Sinfonia, everything would be okay.
I just didn’t want to leave things so awkward between us for months and months until then.
’ He rakes a hand through his hair. He is flustered.
His eyes are pools of disappointment. ‘I’ll get on the next flight out of here.
I promise. And you won’t see me again until the next tour.
And you don’t even have to speak to me then.
I’ll be professional and courteous, and we can put this whole nightmare that I created behind us. ’
They say the eyes are the window to the soul. He still has strong feelings for me despite everything he’s saying. ‘Okay,’ I say stiffly. This has been a lot to process. ‘But what have you done with Liberty?’
‘Wait. What?’
I’m not buying it. ‘Liberty. The woman you were with before that other one, evidently.’
‘That was a family friend. She and her husband own property out here,’ he says. ‘Up in Denia. We met for coffee. I haven’t seen Liberty.’
‘Sure you have,’ I say, my hands on my hips. ‘Did she stay the night with you?’
Luke is surprised. ‘Certainly not. No.’
‘No?’ It’s very unlike Liberty to not get her man. ‘We all saw you leave Benidorm Palace together, and she hasn’t come back home yet.’
Luke frowns, trying to remember. ‘Yes, we left the show together. I could see that my presence was causing some, um, some arguments. So we took a cab to the old town. We went for a nightcap so that I could explain why I was there, and I asked her to let you know that I only came here to apologise. Not to cause any trouble. Then I went back to my hotel.’
I take a moment to think my answer through. He must think I’m an idiot.
‘I swear she hasn’t been with me. Should we be calling the police?’ he asks.
Good point. Should we?
‘She definitely did not stay the night with you?’
He shakes his head.
‘Oh. I guess in that case we have no further need to…’ Now it’s my turn to shoegaze.
‘I should head back to my hotel,’ he says.
‘Right. Well, I guess we’ll see each other in a few months then.’
‘I guess we will. Bye, Connie. And again, I’m so very sorry.’ We lock eyes and it’s as though he’s willing me to say something kind to him. Something hopeful and promising. He gives me a dejected smile.
Suddenly, I feel stifled. ‘Goodbye, Luke.’ I dart across the promenade, pushing past the tourists, into the main shopping square, to catch my breath. That was so intense. I scan the crowd to make sure he hasn’t followed me. He hasn’t.
I sit down on the nearest bench to take a moment. I suppose it was good to clear the air, but it means I’ve run out of time to get even half of what we need on this shopping list.
PING. Instagram. Ged has posted a gorgeous photo of the four of them under the waterfall with a caption – Just had the best double date ever – and tagged us all in.
My hearts swells for them. Part of me wishes I had gone with them.
They all seem deliriously happy. Thank God things are starting to get back on track.
PING. Big Sue is fecking furious on WhatsApp. Big Mand is also livid. How dare Ged ‘out’ them when they aren’t even ‘out’.
Oh shit.