Chapter 30 #2
‘Well, it is my business because…’ Cherry nervously twists her hands round and round. ‘Because he’s my baby daddy.’
You can hear a pin drop.
Liberty’s face falls a hundred feet while Nacho is still grinning away. He has not understood what Cherry has said. He thinks two hot gorgeous babes are fighting jealously over him, because that’s his normal.
I clear my throat and explain to Nacho in rudimentary Spanish that Cherry is with child. His child.
Nacho goes deathly white. His eyes become like saucers, and his lip begins to tremble.
Sister Kevin is the first to break the silence. ‘Oh man. I can’t imagine how gutted he must be. Imagine some chick you hardly know traps you into fatherhood. That’s his whole life ruined. Poor guy.’
Tash’s jaw drops open as her hand flies to her mouth. She lets out a small squeak and races as fast as she can in giant platform sandals and a skintight Barbie dress, back into the villa.
Clop. Clop. Clop. She pushes past Big Sue, and we hear the angry slap of her shoes up the marble stairs and a door slamming. Followed by a blood-curdling scream.
Sister Kevin appears genuinely confused. ‘What? What did I say?’
I feign ignorance and shrug back at him.
‘Cherry? Is this true?’ asks Nacho, his voice breaking.
Cherry nods glumly, too upset to speak.
Oh. My. God.
No one dares say anything.
Nacho tilts his head to the side as though trying to figure something out. ‘But we did not do the sex. Did we?’
Liam inhales dramatically. ‘Ooh, harsh. He can’t even remember it.’
Cherry instantly bursts into tears. Nacho runs to her and flings his arms around her thin shoulders. ‘I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please. Stop the crying. It will be okay. I promise. Everything will be okay.’
Cherry looks up at him hopefully. She seems tiny in his arms.
‘When? When did you sleep with him?’ Big Sue has taken charge of the investigation.
She has put aside her own family troubles, her grievances with Ged and Liam, and her disappointment with Big Mand, to come to the aid of her distressed friend.
I’m almost welling up watching her. If the world was crashing to an end, it’s Big Sue you’d want watching your back. She’s all woman. I’m in awe.
I step closer to Cherry and take her hand as Nacho backs away from her. He looks bewildered. He’s not ready for this, never mind taking on Cherry and her two feral babies and thinning-haired husband. He’d never cope.
Nacho gives Big Sue a perplexed look. He too would like to know when this night of so-called passion, which resulted in the forming of a new life, occurred. ‘After the music festival?’ he asks Cherry. ‘Is that when?’
Cherry tuts and pinches her nose, trying to retrieve specific details. ‘Whichever night you were wearing the pink glittery Stetson hat and sunglasses.’
‘That could have been any night,’ says Big Sue. ‘Think, Cherry, babes. Can you remember any other details? Were you in a bed? On the beach? Behind a bin? Where did the incident occur?’
This briefest of unmemorable incidents that neither can recall.
‘I remember you had a pink heart on your cheek…’ Cherry bites her lip, deep in thought.
‘No, not a heart. Lips. Big red lips. You were swinging my bra round and round, and you kept yelling “Yeehaw” like a cowboy. I remember you pounding into me, pounding and pounding.’ She winces.
‘On and on. Pound. Pound. Pound. All night long.’
That’s a lot of pounding.
It seems to be jogging her memory. ‘I remember thinking we were on a trampoline. I was being thrown around, up and down.’ She reaches a hand to her hair. ‘That’s right. I had my knickers on my head. Like a blindfold.’
It’s sounding very kinky.
Nacho looks vacant. He clearly has no recollection of this wild Olympic-style night.
I sneak a glance over to Ged and Liam, who are riveted.
I slide my gaze to Sister Kevin. He is finding this all highly amusing and is trying not to snigger out loud.
I feel sorry for him. He will not be sniggering when Tash gets hold of him.
That’s just about the worst thing she will have wanted to hear.
Oh my God. Poor Tash. If she really is pregnant then she will be crushed to think Sister Kevin doesn’t want the baby. She’ll have to think of something else to get him for his BIG birthday.
I don’t know what to do.
Stay with Cherry or rush to check on Tash?
We are interrupted by Liberty, who has let out a screeching howl. We all watch as she bends over, double wheezing to catch her breath. Her shoulders are shaking.
Oh God. Poor Liberty. Why must every man she has her eye on be whisked away from her quicker than she can blink? She must be distraught. She straightens up. Tears are streaming down her cheeks. Her wails turn into sobs of laughter.
What is going on?
‘It wasn’t you,’ she says to Cherry. She can barely speak for laughing. ‘It was me, you idiot. It was me he was pounding. You were asleep next to us. At least, I thought you were. I tied my thong over your eyes so you wouldn’t see us if you woke up.’
Cherry’s face falls. ‘But that would mean…’
Liberty chokes on her words. ‘Yep. Unlucky, Cherry, babes.’ She doubles over again, cackling with laughter, while Cherry looks at Nacho, bursts into tears and runs back into the kitchen.
We hear her let out an anguished whine. Somehow, finding out that her thinning-haired husband is the father of her child after all has proven more than deeply upsetting.