Chapter 31
This is a total nightmare. I cast my gaze around the pool area.
Ged and Liam are looking baffled. Liam is still wearing my top but with short denim cut-offs because Sister Kevin is wearing his outfit.
It’s very half-Ken half-Barbie. I will have to let that go for now.
There are far more pressing issues. Such as Jorge is due any minute now to take us, and our many, many suitcases, to the airport.
The flight is in less than three hours’ time and we need to get on the minibus and on our way.
I do a quick mental recap of the current status quo.
Big Sue is still standing where she was in the patio doorway, sweating buckets. She is not speaking to Ged and Liam, nor Big Mand by the looks of things. Her big fluffy white coat, black vest and gold medallion are making her look like Gangster Ken.
Big Mand is not speaking to Ged and Liam either. She keeps throwing them annoyed looks as though they are the root cause of all the upset. Which, to be fair, they totally are.
Nobody is speaking to Liberty because she is still laughing over Cherry.
Tash has locked herself in her room and is refusing to speak to Sister Kevin without telling him why.
Cherry has locked herself in the bathroom and is refusing to come out.
Nacho is standing there, looking guilty. He can’t run off because he needs to check the villa before releasing the deposit back to Nancy, and he needs everyone to hand back the sets of keys.
I keep picturing him pounding into Liberty while poor Cherry was being tossed around like a rag doll, asleep right next to them. What were they thinking? They could have at least rolled her onto the floor.
It is awkward. Very awkward. And I feel responsible for at least trying to get everyone back on track. After all, they’ve all helped me at one time or another. For which I am eternally grateful.
‘Big Sue, you were amazing,’ I tell her. ‘If you hadn’t started asking questions, this whole scenario might have gone very differently. You may well have saved a marriage, and even though you have a lot on your plate, you still came to the rescue. Thank you.’
She shrugs and gives me a half-smile.
‘She’s right,’ says Liberty. ‘Sisters before misters. You always have our backs. Every single time there’s a drama.’ She goes over to Big Sue. ‘I’m sorry for being such a cow. I’m just sick of being lonely. You lot are all so loved up, and I never seem to find anyone.’
There’s a silence where we all wait to see how Big Sue will react.
‘I guess we don’t make it easy for you either, Libs,’ says Big Mand, jumping in to save Big Sue from answering. ‘I’m sorry if I always hog Sue to myself but… well, we’re…’ Big Mand smiles over to Big Sue. They lock eyes for what seems like forever. We all seem to be holding our breath.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
Jorge has arrived just in time to pop the tension like a balloon.
Big Sue smiles shyly back at Big Mand, and they share what appears to be a moment of truce.
‘Come here, yer daft slappers,’ says Liberty, dragging them both into a hug. ‘You don’t have to explain anything to anyone. Unless you want to. And FYI, we already know something is going on. The walls are pretty thin here… Just saying.’
How is that helping?
‘I’ll go check on Cherry,’ I say, desperate to escape before the situation re-escalates.
‘It’s okay,’ says Liberty. ‘I’ve got this. She was exactly the same the last time she found out she was preggers. She’ll be savage for the next twenty-four hours at least.’
Great news. Cherry is going to go nuclear on board the flight to Vegas.
‘I’m going to go and find another outfit. I can’t travel in this because…’ Liam fiddles with the shorts.
‘No time!’ barks Big Sue. ‘Everyone, get your bags and rendezvous outside at the bus. We’ll swap costumes at the airport.’
‘Good plan. If only Tash could get her shit together, we’d be ready to go,’ says Big Mand.
‘Leave that to me,’ Big Sue volunteers.
* * *
Within minutes, I am staring at a full group.
‘Wow,’ says Ged. ‘They can really move when they need to.’ We are standing outside the villa by the minibus. Jorge is smoking his usual cigarette and looking at his watch. We are only running twenty minutes late. A new record for us. He looks pleased.
‘Nacho,’ I say. ‘Could you please take a group photo of us by the bus with our bags ready to go?’
Nacho takes my phone from me. ‘No problem.’
I organise everyone into a group. ‘I’m going to document the whole journey for scrapbooking purposes, and potentially get it made into rolls of wallpaper and items of clothing.’
No one bats an eyelid at the latest of Ged and Liam’s crackpot requests. We shuffle around, ensuring Ged and Liam are front and centre. While Nacho is indicating for us to move an inch to the left, an inch to the right, my phone goes off in his hand.
‘Hola, que pasa, bro?’ he says, his face lighting up. Cripes, it can only be Matteo. I listen to Nacho rapidly explain that he is taking a group photo. I see him fiddle with some buttons and then confirm he has sent him a copy. Then I hear him explain to Matteo that we are all going to the airport.
Shite.
Nacho looks concerned. ‘Connie. He wants to speak with you.’
With my stomach plummeting as I make my way over, he lets out a strange noise.
‘Ah, sorry. I have sent wrong photo.’ He shows me the screen.
It is a picture of me and Luke on stage at Voices taken by Dan, who thought it was a good idea to capture the moment and WhatsApp it across.
We look very cosy. We decided because things were going so unbelievably well that we would treat the crowd to ‘Mi Amore Mi Amore’. We look about to kiss.
‘Is that from last night?’ barks Tash. ‘Is that who you replaced us with?’
‘Of all the singers, you chose your stalker?’ Big Mand is not happy.
‘Singing isn’t all they appear to be doing!’ snaps Liberty. She has grabbed the phone from Nacho to get a closer look.
‘Connie!’ yells Ged. ‘What were you thinking?’ He snatches the phone from Liberty. ‘Look at the way Luke’s making cow eyes at you. For Christ’s sake. He’ll think you’re interested in him again.’
‘Oh my God!’ I shout back. ‘You lot dropped me in it. What else was I supposed to do at such short notice?’
Everyone quietens down just enough for us to hear Matteo’s muffled voice coming from the phone. Ged gingerly holds it to his ear, nods his head a few times and passes it back to me. ‘He says he’d like to speak with you.’
How much has he overheard?
I take the phone, all eyes pinning me to the spot. ‘Hi, Matteo. It all looks and sounds much worse than it is. And the good news is that Nacho is no longer the father of Cherry’s baby.’
My attempt to change the subject does not work. Matteo is wondering why all nine of us are travelling to the airport.
‘Well, er, because we’re all coming to Las Vegas… to surprise you,’ I finish lamely.
Liberty grabs the phone out of my hand. ‘We’re coming over for work, if you must know.’
Ged grabs it from Liberty. ‘No. Matteo, we’re coming over to celebrate mine and Liam’s special pre-moon spree. We’re hoping you can—’
He doesn’t get to finish because Tash’s long talons appear from nowhere to grab it off him. ‘Matteo, honey, we’re also coming to celebrate Sister Kevin’s BIG birthday. So if you could get us VIP tix to—’
I grab the phone off her.
‘Can everyone stop grabbing my phone, please?’ I yell. I’m getting so angry with them all. Matteo is on the receiving end of far too much information. Information that I should have had the guts to tell him two weeks ago.
‘Hi, Matteo. It’s me. Sorry about all of that…’ I say hurriedly. I’m surprised he doesn’t just end the call on me right here and now. I listen quietly to what he has to say. ‘Uh-huh. Yep. Sure. Yes. And again, I’m sorry.’
I click off that call and immediately accept another, holding it up high. ‘He wants to FaceTime us.’
We gather round the phone, all of us huddled close.
Matteo takes one look at us. He looks shocked. I forgot to warn him that we are all wearing blonde ponytail wigs and Barbie costumes. ‘Hi, everyone,’ Matteo says, recovering quickly. ‘It’s great to see you all. Nice outfits.’
I sigh in relief as we all shout back. Matteo now looks unfazed by it all.
‘He’s so fucking fit,’ Liberty says, shaking her head. She smiles over at Nacho. ‘You’re like Hemsworth Hotties.’
Nacho grins back. He has no idea what she means, but he does look smitten with her.
‘So, Connie will message me the details of all the celebrations going on. It sounds like I will need to pull some strings to see if we can make this week extra special for all of you. Just let me know what’s on the wish list.’
Everyone erupts into cheers while I melt, because Matteo is the loveliest guy on the planet.
‘But,’ he says firmly, ‘Connie and I are also going to need time together… alone. I hope you all understand that.’
I go bright red while the others make cooing noises and obscene suggestions.
‘Sorry we hijacked your romantic break!’ yells Cherry. ‘Of course you two should have time together.’
Tash leans forward. ‘Yeah. That was on me, Matteo. I thought I was helping by getting the flights paid for. Sorry. I didn’t think to ask first.’
‘Same,’ says Ged, looking at me. ‘We got so swept up in this whole pre-moon spree that we lost sight of why Connie was coming to Vegas in the first place.’
I smile back. ‘It’s okay, you guys. I’m sure we can work it out.’
‘I’ve got to go,’ Matteo says. ‘Have a good flight. See you soon. I’ll organise a limo to pick you all up.’
Everyone whoops while I say a quiet goodbye to Matteo. His dark eyes burn into mine, making my pulse race. ‘I knew what I was signing up to. I should have guessed your entourage would muscle in on the trip. It’s no problem. I’ve handled worse.’
‘Thank you,’ I say. He really is very understanding. ‘And about that photo…’
‘Forget it. If you say it’s all innocent and there’s nothing going on, I believe you.’