Chapter 26 #2
‘She must have run over his dog or something,’ Liberty speculates as we scurry to find seats near the front, and I leap onto the stage and take the microphone from the stand nearby.
I nod to Cherry to plug in the playlist, which she scampers over to do.
I notice Dan going over to help her, giving me a thumbs up as he does.
The place is heaving. I snap into professional mode.
Or at least I would if I had a clue what songs I’m about to sing.
I best offer some context. Cherry beats me to it, grabbing a spare microphone as she joins me on stage.
‘One, two. Testing one, two.’ She taps loudly on the microphone, causing the audience to stop chattering.
We look like a pair of low-rent strippers.
‘So, this collection of songs might make more sense if I explain that they are about a man,’ she says chirpily to the crowd.
‘Who none of you know. He’s definitely not here, is he, pet? ’
She pantomime-winks at me, while I purposefully don’t make eye contact with Matteo hovering at the back.
Oh my God.
‘Initially, we thought he was a love cheat which had us all boiling with rage. We were ready to rip his balls off, cover them in hot Tabasco sauce and stuff them down his throat, as you can imagine. Connie here was in absolute bits, weren’t you, love?’
She has certainly captured the attention of every single male in the place. And perhaps not in a good way. She has also forgotten that she is meant to be storytelling.
‘But apparently, it turns out he wasn’t a love cheat after all. And well, anyway, I hope you enjoy this emotional journey with Connie because it’s still very raw, isn’t it, love? Even if none of it actually happened.’
Jesus.
I look despairingly around the room at the perplexed faces and straight into the eyes of Matteo.
I hear the opening notes and begin to sing.
It’s simply humiliating. Cherry has chosen a nightmarish playlist which I am going to have to brazen out.
I avoid staring right at him as I belt out the lyrics of each tune that highlight the tumultuous, short-lived romance we have shared thus far.
Maybe it’s because I’m singing tipsy, but I am on fire and out to impress the fuck out of him to hide my embarrassment at having leapt to conclusions.
That’ll teach me. The next forty minutes fly by as I catapult the audience through what could have been a very nasty breakup resulting in assault and a likely wrongful arrest. When I am done and the final song about how meaningless life can be reaches its climax, I hit the notes perfectly to a rousing round of applause.
Grown men are wiping at their eyes. Women are nodding with understanding at each other.
I am stunned. The girls are going absolutely wild and everyone in the place is screaming for more.
As soon as I’m off stage and replaced by the Dollz, I’m accosted by lots of children and an excited Martha.
‘Connie, that was excellent,’ she gushes, turning to Matteo, who has come to stand beside me.
‘It really felt like an emotional rollercoaster ride. The passion. The heartbreak. The bitterness. The despair. It felt totally real. You have a gift. What a performance. It felt like you took us on a journey.’
I can barely look Matteo in the eye as he turns to me with a shocked expression, saying nothing as Martha jabbers on.
‘That song about men always letting us down. If only I could get on stage and publicly humiliate Rody every time he does something wrong. You two newly-weds had a falling out, did you?’
Why is the ground not swallowing me up? Why?
‘Oh, it’s you!’ Martha shouts, recognising Matteo properly, grabbing his hands and shaking them. ‘Thank you so much for saving our Lucie. I can’t bear to think of what would’ve happened if you and your wife hadn’t been there to save her. Let me fetch Rody.’
We watch Martha dash off.
‘We’re married now, are we? I do wish you’d told me sooner.’ Matteo sounds amused. I’m all flustered again.
Brazen it out, Connie. Hold steady. I open my mouth to explain how it’s a funny story, but we are distracted by a loud shriek from behind us.
‘Newly-weds? Newly-weds? ’ We turn to see Alex thumping over. ‘Newly-weds? What are you talking about? Matteo, what is going on here?’ she shouts above the music blaring out.
‘I can explain,’ I say, swallowing a lump in my throat.
I absolutely cannot explain.
‘Matteo is my fiancé,’ Alex says to me, her voice full of ownership. ‘Not yours. No matter how much you keep singing about it.’
‘Alex,’ Matteo says quietly, clearly horrified at having this discussion in public.
‘For fuck’s sake, Matteo. It was a blip. Pre-wedding nerves. No reason to call it off!’
Alex launches into rapid Spanish while I step away from them.
‘I think we’d best leave them to it,’ says Martha, appearing at my side to take my elbow and steer me away. She has put two and two together. ‘So, I’m guessing that you and he aren’t married?’
I shake my head. ‘Sorry. I was about to tell you. I only just found out that he has an ex-fiancée.’
‘No worries.’ She winks at me. ‘I’d pretend he was my husband too, if I was single.’
‘What’s she saying?’ I ask. Martha glances back briefly at the warring couple.
‘Sounds like he caught her cheating on him and he called the wedding off. What must she have been thinking to cheat on someone like that?’ Martha tuts. ‘Where do you fit in?’
‘It’s complicated,’ I say sadly. ‘More complicated than I thought. I guess he’s got a lot of unfinished business.’
‘I guess he has. Come on, best give them some space. I’ll get you a strong coffee and show you the apartment upstairs. I’d like to persuade you to stay here with us’ – she grins at me – ‘seeing as you two aren’t actually married… yet.’
Martha shows me upstairs while the Dollz are belting out hit after hit to a roaring crowd. She points out the air conditioning and patio doors, which flood the room with light. There’s lots of chunky wooden furniture and a cosy feel about the place. I like it instantly.
‘And there’s a roof terrace with magnificent sea views,’ Martha says before suddenly spinning me around to face away from the sea. ‘And mountain views!’ she shrieks. ‘Aren’t they spectacular?’
I peer over her shoulder down to the street below, curious to see what she is hiding from me.
‘Don’t look!’ she yells, but it’s too late.
Matteo and Alex are huddled together on The Strip.
She is talking passionately to him, leaning into him, clutching at him, and he has his arms around her, cradling her head with his hand just like he did with me.
He is speaking into her ear, and she is nodding her head against him.
They look like a couple in love. A couple making up. A couple like all the other couples.
I’m wrestling with my moral compass. The respectful thing to do would be to not sully the waters and get right out of the way. He is obviously going to work things out properly with Alex. I’ve been nothing but a distraction.
Martha puts a gentle arm round my shoulder, which reminds me of my mother. I smile sadly at her.
‘Don’t let that set you back, love. If you want to build a life here, it must be because it’s what you want. Not because you’re doing it for a man. Not even one that gorgeous. That’s what I told my Dan when he wanted to move to Ibiza to be with DJ Rizzlestix and live in his yurt.’
When I glance back towards Matteo and Alex, they’ve disappeared.