Chapter 26
We arrive at The Knee Trembler to find it in full swing with many, many inebriated people spilling out onto the promenade. We pile in.
‘Whose round is it?’ booms Big Sue.
‘Mine, I’ll get them,’ I say, nervously ordering a round of Skanky Lady cocktails.
Even though I dread seeing Matteo, it would be much, much worse if I see him and make a total mess of the gig because I’m drunk.
I will sip like a lady, pretending it’s cough medicine or something, and not throw the cocktail down my neck like I see the Dollz are currently doing, even though I’ve begged them not to and they have promised me faithfully.
‘Connie!’ Cherry roars a few seconds later. ‘Drink up. It’s my round. Same again?’
The Dollz are knocking men out of the way to clear a space for dancing when Tash yells, ‘I know what this place needs!’
She takes a huge gulp of her cocktails, one in each hand, before slamming them down on the table.
She wipes her mouth with the back of her arm dramatically and then charges unsteadily on her massive heels over to the DJ with a threatening expression on her face.
Moments later, the speakers bellow out ‘I Will Survive’.
‘I walked down the aisle to this tune!’ yells Cherry. I try not to look shocked. It’s certainly unconventional. ‘The aisle at Tesco’s!’
We all honk our heads off because Cherry has just told the funniest joke of all time.
Honk, honk, honk.
I’m surprised to find I am having a good time and fully manage not to think about Matteo for at least two more drinks and another round of honks.
We get loads of man-attention, but we are simply not interested.
We laugh, we drink, we honk… then suddenly I remember that my heart is catastrophically broken, and I yell how much I hate all living men and send a bunch of them scattering away from us.
‘It’s time to go,’ barks Big Sue. ‘Soundcheck! Hoargghhhay is outside.’
‘What soundcheck?’ My mind has suddenly gone blank.
‘ The soundcheck,’ she booms. ‘Come on, Dollz. Let’s go.’
Thankfully, the sun is setting, and the air is much cooler. I gather my inner strength. All this drinking isn’t helping me. Before we get on the bus, she gathers us in a group hug.
‘Once we arrive at Voices, Cherry, you run interference. Big Mand, you’re on surveillance ops with me. Liberty, you and Tash do a recce of the place,’ she commands, sounding like British special forces. ‘Don’t worry, that bastard is getting nowhere near you tonight, Connie, pet. Not on our watch.’
I have no idea how to feel about our new tactical manoeuvres, but apparently working as a team is key.
Once we pile out of the minibus, the Voices sign towers over the crowds bustling around. There are couples laughing, couples dancing, couples queuing to get into bars, couples hand in hand, couples kissing in the street.
Couples. Couples. Couples.
I feel overwhelmed with what a fool I’ve been.
Just as I wonder if he would even dare to turn up tonight, Matteo stares right at me from the doorway.
His face is unreadable. I can tell he’s tense just by the way he’s leaning against the door frame.
My stomach lurches traitorously as he does that slow running-his-hand-through-his-hair thing.
Any minute now the Dollz will launch their covert whatever it was. He won’t know what hit him. In a way, it’s comforting to know they have my back.
Any minute now.
Any minute.
They’re probably wanting to use the element of surprise.
Matteo continues to study me.
A quick glance behind reveals my crack team of bodyguards are engaged in a mixture of activities: smoking tabs, deep in conversation with Jorge, posing for selfies with random men or jabbing at their phones. Every single one of them is oblivious to my plight.
They will be of no use to me. None whatsoever.
I march over to tell Matteo to his face how disappointed I am in him.
He beats me to it and suddenly he is right in front of me.
For a moment, his face is full of emotion, and we stand there glaring at each other.
My heart is beating wildly enough for him to hear it.
But before he can speak, the girls surround us, and Big Sue tells him to back the fuck off and leave me alone.
‘She’s dead high up in social care. She knows all about useless men,’ says Big Mand.
‘And I’m a paralegal,’ adds Cherry. ‘I also know about useless men. Plus, I’m married to one.’
‘And I’m a lecturer of sorts,’ adds Tash, stepping up close to stare cross-eyed at him. ‘I teach useless men every day of the week and then eat them for breakfast.’
‘Can we talk?’ he says, rolling his eyes. ‘Connie, it’s not what you think.’
Where to begin with my forensic line of questioning?
I straighten to my full height and lift my chin to look down through my lashes. My huge lashes that Cherry stuck on me just before we left. They are incredibly heavy. Like two pastry brushes.
Must not get distracted. Stick to the facts.
‘Are you aware… Did you know that you have a fiancée?’ I say accusingly.
The Dollz crowd around us to hear what he has to say.
‘I am aware, yes.’
It’s like a knife to the heart.
‘And are you also aware,’ I say, unsure as to where I’m going with this exactly. I fully lay the blame at the door of alcohol. I wouldn’t normally be so officious sounding. ‘That, uh, you are half-brother to our landlord?’
‘It had been brought to my attention, yes.’
Oh.
‘And, uh, so if your half-brother is correct in informing us that you are getting married next week then why, might I ask, are you fooling around with me?’
This case for the prosecution would be much easier if I’d stayed sober.
The Dollz crowd in even closer so that we can all hear.
Matteo frowns. ‘Firstly, I’m not getting married next week. The wedding was called off. And secondly, I wasn’t “fooling around” with you. I thought it was something more meaningful than that.’
We all look at each other, our mouths gaping open. We are flummoxed by this honest and frank revelation.
‘So what happened? Why did she call it off? Did you cheat on her?’ Big Mand says firmly. ‘With her sister? Or was it her best friend? Come to think of it, she probably doesn’t have one. Unless it’s a crow.’
Bewildering where some people’s minds drift to.
I’ll be crushed if he confesses that he did cheat. I feel like I’ve been heartbroken for days. It’s simply exhausting. His eyes are full of something dangerous. Mine are swimming with drunken tears. He is clearly uncomfortable having this conversation out in the open surrounded by angry Dollz.
‘And do you still… do you still love her?’ I say, my voice almost a whisper.
‘No to the sister, no to the best friend, hard no to the crow and definitely no to still being in love with her,’ he says, exhaling loudly. ‘And it was me who called off the wedding, not her. And we are no longer engaged. I broke it off a couple of months ago.’
Oh.
‘But I do want to explain,’ he says, ‘and apologise. I never meant to hurt you or lead you on, Connie. When you first indicated your… interest, I thought this wouldn’t be going anywhere, which is why I was…
well, quite reluctant at first. It was all a bit too soon for me. But you were very persistent.’
Charming . I might go off him myself at this rate.
‘I should have explained my situation more clearly before we became involved, but it all happened so quickly and, to be honest, I wasn’t expecting things to go the way they did. So anyway, apologies if you thought for a moment that I wasn’t a free man, but I am.’
When he puts it like this, he does actually sound quite reasonable.
‘I’m not sure now what all the drama is about,’ says Big Mand, confused. ‘Connie, do you think you’ve maybe overreacted?’
‘I think you might’ve got the wrong end of the stick, like,’ says Liberty. ‘It doesn’t sound to me like Matteo has done anything wrong. He might be a fast mover, but he is a single fast mover.’
Oh God, what turncoats.
‘Maybe you should have explained before we, erm, you know,’ I say weakly, keen to shut them all up and get inside. ‘Because that’s, like, a very fast turnaround in women.’
‘It looks bad, but I can explain. Later, in private.’
I nod. Later in private sounds good. He doesn’t need to know I’ve just spent the best part of three hours weeping over him, all because I’ve leapt to all sorts of unsubstantiated conclusions.
For all he knows, I have been engaged in long-term fiscal planning, composing majestic arias or some other useful pursuit that isn’t crying.
‘I hope you weren’t too upset,’ he says gently. ‘Nacho mentioned that you overheard him talking about the wedding.’
Where to start?
I shake my head, flicking the Dollz a warning not to contradict me.
‘No. No, of course not. I knew there would be a perfectly reasonable explanation.’
Big Sue raises an eyebrow at me. Probably remembering how I lay quivering in her arms, soaking her in my tears. ‘Okay, you’ve said your bit, lover boy. We’ve got some business to take care of,’ she barks.
Matteo gives the Dollz one last confused look before walking back inside. We race into Voices behind him to see Alex standing with a scowl at the bar.
‘I told you girls not to be late,’ she says in a sharp tone.
‘I hope you’ve already done a soundcheck because, Connie, I want you on stage in thirty seconds.
’ She peers closely at us before sniffing the air.
‘Are you all… pissed?’ she roars in a terrifying manner. She whips out her phone, jabbing away.
‘Who does she think she is?’ says Tash loudly. ‘Although, if I’d just been dumped a couple of months before my wedding by a sexy, hot Latino, I’d probably be fuming too.’