Chapter 28 #2
‘Was one of them for the audition you thought you failed?’ he asks.
‘Yeah, the Sinfonia. I can’t believe it. After all this time. And the other one is here at Voices.’
‘Congratulations. You deserve it,’ he says, pulling me towards a dark corner of the tent where a girl is plucking away on her guitar and another girl is standing next to her with a violin. ‘Dance with me?’
Matteo takes me in his arms. We swirl easily around the dance floor as though we are floating through a night sky bursting with stars.
I stare into his eyes, lost in the moment.
This feels right. This feels like home. All that hollow emptiness I have felt, the longing but not knowing what I long for, the uncertainty, the self-doubt, the constant feeling of failing at life while everyone else is winning – it all drains out of me.
The grief for my mother will never leave me but, without all the other baggage, I know I’ll be able to live with it and not let it rule me.
I rest my head against his impressive chest and feel his heartbeat.
‘Do both,’ he says as the music slowly comes to an end.
‘How?’
‘Be your own boss.’
He’s making it sound so easy.
‘Be your own boss,’ he says again as though it’s obvious.
‘Stay here to work at Voices. Let them know you’ll do tours with the Dollz for Nancy a couple of times a year and speak to the Sinfonia about their tour dates and book them in too.
You can commute back and forth like I do.
Martha and Rody seem like nice people, and they’ll want to keep you on.
And of course, you should make your own music too.
I have a recording studio in the basement of my office. ’
It’s starting to sound easy. Maybe it is. I’ve been in the mindset that I have to put all my eggs in only one basket when, actually, I can design my own career and be the master of my own fate. I sound just like Ged and Liam rolled into one.
I take in his kind, moody eyes and his worn-out expression, which thankfully is saving him from being too handsome and too sexy.
It just goes to show if you stop struggling to work everything out, stop planning your life down to the smallest detail and just ‘live in the moment’, then solutions appear and truths to be owned emerge.
‘And you know,’ he’s saying shyly, ‘if you think it’s too soon for us to get together then…’
I put a finger to his lips to stop him. Now he’s going too far.
The sexual tension crackles between us. I want it all.
I want the love, the career, the new friends and the crazy life that comes with it.
I lift my eyes to meet his. He is trapped in the same thought.
I am dying to kiss him, but I know that he will be embarrassed in front of his staff.
We lock eyes until a sudden thought breaks the spell.
‘Did you say that you’re off to America? Wait, was that supposed to be your honeymoon?’
‘No, I’m going for work. I’ll be in LA for a few months,’ he says, grinning. ‘I’m going to pursue my own dream of producing music. Want to come visit?’
OMFG, how cool would that be? I can barely hide my excitement. This is my life now!
‘LA?’ Tash says, swivelling her head around at the same time there’s a break in the music. ‘Yes, we’ll come.’
Christ Almighty. Where did she come from?
‘Connie, pet, you did promise, like,’ says Cherry, appearing from absolutely fucking nowhere to fluff her mane of glorious red hair at us.
With a cocktail in each hand, she is no longer looking so dehydrated.
‘We’ll rent another villa with a pool but all with en suites this time to save squabbling. ’
Where was this kind of swift decision-making when we needed it earlier this week?
‘I’ve heard LA is chocka full of fit men who really know how to treat a woman. I’m in in ,’ Liberty says forcefully, sashaying over. ‘I remember that promise. Verbal contract, legally binding, isn’t it, Cherry?’
‘Yeah, and I’ll leave the kids at home. No point ruining a perfectly good vacay,’ she says, leaning across as though we are already packed to go.
‘We’ll come too.’ Big Mand and Big Sue emerge into the tent from the darkness outside. Tash elbows me discreetly to look down. I notice they are holding hands.
‘Count us in. We can do our pre-moon there.’ Ged and Liam wander over to join in the fuss.
Shitting hell.
Matteo arches a stern eyebrow at me. It’s enormously sexy.
‘Can you get us in the cool clubs? VIP tickets this time though, babes?’ Tash says to him, making it sound like more of a telling-off than a question.
The girls crowd round. They’ll never forgive him for not letting them in the VIP section on the yacht.
Never in a million years. I think he knows it too.
‘And free bar, yeah? And an extra ticket. I’m thinking of inviting Sister Kevin because I forgot to propose to him, and LA feels like a better fit for that anyway. ’
Unruffled by this intimidation, Matteo throws his head back and laughs. ‘Maybe. I’ll see what I can do.’ He’s certainly not going out of his way to win them over, that’s for sure.
He’ll just have to learn the hard way.
He takes my hand, leans in and murmurs in my ear, ‘I could be your Mr Window Seat.’
Oh my. This is really happening. Any thoughts of taking things slowly fly too easily from my mind, which is currently filled with lust and candy love hearts and a hot tub with our name on it. In LA it’ll be his fear of flying and my expertise with the sick bag he’s after, I remind myself.
‘I do,’ I gush without thinking. ‘I do.’
His eyes balloon at the powerful and inappropriate matrimonial vibe I’m accidentally giving off.
‘I mean yes. Yes, I will.’
Still sounds like I’m responding to a non-existent proposal.
‘Sorry. I meant… What was the question? Well, whatever you asked, it’s a yes. I’ll do… anything.’
Anything? And why has my voice gone all husky?
‘Cenicienta,’ he says, his eyes sparkling with amusement and promise as he twirls me around.
All this sexy talk has created a stirring within.
I’m suddenly and uncontrollably over-aroused.
I will take a beat to compose myself. I’d hate to scare him off at such a delicate point in our journey.
On the other hand, I feel like this should be a kissing moment.
When there is a break in the music, I reach up on my toes.
He obviously feels it is too, as he instinctively sweeps me closer to him.
As we lock lips, I hear a clicking sound behind me.
Liam is busily snapping away. ‘What? You said you wanted some mugs and pillowcases made up of you kissing Matteo, and some wall art for your new place. And this pic would make a seriously lovely screen saver.’
Matteo looks from Liam back to me.
‘Apart from you being mildly obsessed with me, is there anything else I should know about you before we take things any further?’ he asks.
So much for playing it cool.
‘No. I promise I’ll totally behave from now on.’
‘Shame,’ Matteo says. ‘I’m rather hoping you don’t.’
Oh my.