Chapter 28
We leave Voices and pile into Jorge’s minibus to set off for the short, entirely walkable distance across town to the music festival.
‘I knew there’d be a new drama. I knew it,’ Cherry is saying as though trumpeting out a shopping list. ‘I called it. Didn’t I call it? I said it’ll be Alex trying to knife her or Nancy firing her, or she’ll have thrush from wearing that catsuit. Which is it?’
‘I detach,’ I say calmly. ‘I detach from it. There’s no drama.
It’s very simple. I have two job offers.
One at home with the Sinfonia, the position I’ve been trying to get for the last five years, singing classical music.
’ I shrug at them. ‘Or this bizarre one here on The Strip. The last place I’d ever imagined I’d end up.
I could make my own music, discover my own voice. I’d sing my own songs.’
It barely sounds real.
Two hours later and we are all tipsy at the music festival. Ged and Liam are disembarking from our camel rides.
‘They’re like buses, aren’t they?’ Ged is saying in disbelief as he leaps nimbly from the camel. ‘You have no job one minute and life’s as dull as a buffering phone, then all of a sudden two come along at once and before you know it, you’ve said yes to both of them.’
I’ve been in a trance, overwhelmed with how inept my decision-making has been. I have no idea what to do and my thoughts are still straying to Matteo every chance they get.
‘Connie,’ yells Liam, rushing over to help me disembark. My camel does not want to kneel down to let me off, so I am sliding unattractively down its belly sideways, while clinging to its neck for dear life. ‘It’s him! He’s over there! Remember, just play it cool. Let him come to you.’
‘Play it cool? In this position?’ I say, panicking. I’m almost upside down as the camel tries to shake me off. Liam scoops me into his arms, only to suddenly let go as though he’s just realised he’s carrying the wrong bride over the threshold. I flump down to the ground in a heap.
‘Hi,’ I hear him say skittishly. ‘I’m Liam. Connie’s best friend.’
‘Charming,’ I say, dusting myself off as I unfold to stand back up.
Liam is shaking hands with Nacho vigorously and beaming adoringly at him as though he’s meeting his favourite A-list celebrity.
‘It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Although,’ he says, catching himself, ‘we’re obviously furious at you for breaking Connie’s heart like that. She’s been a hot mess ever since.’
I stare at him aghast. In what way is this playing it cool?
‘Liam, that’s not?—’
‘She’s the kindest person we know. And you’re a fool if you think you can do better. Your loss is our gain.’
Nacho looks at him, his face amused. ‘Yes. Very nice to meet you. I am Nacho. Matteo’s half-brother.’
Liam’s eyes are out on stalks.
‘Christ Almighty. What do they feed you over here? Are you all this handsome? Ged, we’re moving to Spain! Ged! ’
Nacho laughs. He speaks to me in Spanish, telling me that he is very sorry for the way that he spoke yesterday and that some of it got lost in translation.
‘I want you to know that my brother does not play games. He would not want to hurt you. He likes you very much.’
My stomach flips at the thought of me being wrong about everything. I’ve never wanted to be so wrong in my life. I give him a half-smile. He gives me one back before he kisses me on both cheeks and walks away.
‘Well, for a first awkward meeting with a family member, I think that went well,’ Liam says, turning to me. ‘That hair. Those eyes. Are there any more of them?’
I shake my head.
‘What should I do?’ I say for the millionth time. ‘Stay or go? I’m not sure I can handle all the drama that comes with this Benidorm life.’
‘Oh, darling,’ Ged says, linking my arm. ‘Drama just means you are alive. Alive . Living a life!’
Liam puts an arm across Ged’s shoulders before Ged can fully commit to getting overly emotional. I sense there may be tears. ‘It’s all we’ve ever wanted for you,’ he says, giving me an adoring look. They know I owe them my life. They are my ship as I sail through these choppy waters.
We walk over to see Dan, the Dollz and the nuns who are all at the main stage.
It is in full swing. I do some quick introductions, and Dan asks Ged how he and Liam met but instead of saying we all did the same degree course at university, Ged thinks it is refreshing to try and impress because he is speaking to someone of youth and innocence.
‘You met at a privacy night? I’ve not heard of those,’ Dan says. ‘But they sound very peaceful. A sort of retreat?’
‘Please try not to corrupt my new friends,’ I say to Ged, grabbing Dan’s elbow to steer him away through the crowd. He doesn’t need to know what goes on at Ged and Liam’s PVC nights.
‘I love this band,’ Dan yells. ‘I saw them last year in Madrid at the Mad Cool festival. Honestly, Connie, you’re going to love living here. There’s so much going on. The music scene is one of the best in the world. And as a singer you’ll get in free almost everywhere.’
He sounds like he’s selling me life insurance, but his enthusiasm is rubbing off. I do love this weather and the culture, and the whole outdoors vibe.
‘Where are we going?’ I yell as we pass by the stage and the throngs of people jumping up and down.
‘I have a backstage pass!’ he yells back. ‘Come on! We’ll watch from up there then we’ll meet them afterwards! The drummer is an old school friend of mine. Isn’t that awesome?’
The nuns have lifted Ged, Liam and the Dollz onto their shoulders and are barging their way to the front to see The Striped Lions.
I turn my attention back to Dan, who is all but dragging me along.
My thoughts fly back to the last time I was on stage with Matteo.
My stomach gives an involuntary lurch at the thought of him.
As we glide through security, Dan flashing his pass like a police ID, we make our way through the hospitality tent at the back of the stage.
We get up to the side of the stage in time to hear the crowd roaring for more.
My friends are dancing away on top of the nuns’ shoulders.
They are having a great time, and I am awash with feelings of happiness for them.
I feel at peace. I feel like I truly belong here in this vibrant, colourful, chaotic place.
I close my eyes and luxuriate in the feeling while the band whip the crowd into a frenzy with their loud thumping drum and guitar beats.
I imagine myself on stage doing the same.
I imagine my life as a singer-songwriter. I imagine myself happy.
My mind is made up.
A prickling sensation runs up my spine. I cast my gaze over to the other side of the stage and straight into the eyes of Matteo. He’s studying me with interest. I smile sadly back.
I love him.
I simply can’t help it.
I’ve missed him. I tried not to, but I have thought about him every second of every day since I sat next to him on the plane and now that he’s here in front of me, I just want to throw myself into his arms. Something in his eyes tells me that he has not had an easy time of it either.
He seems weary and drained. He indicates that he’ll come over to me.
I really shouldn’t be encouraging him, so I shake my head reluctantly and lower my gaze so he can’t see my sad face and my eyes that want nothing more than for him to sweep me into his muscular arms and kiss me into oblivion. When I look back up, he’s gone.
I’ve done the right thing. He’s got unfinished business. It’s way too soon for anything to happen between us, even if things don’t work out between him and Alex. No wonder he has been conflicted. Our timing is way off.
Moments later, I’m taken by surprise. Matteo is at my side, his gaze flicking to Dan’s arm slung casually over my shoulder.
‘It’s not what it looks like,’ I say, flinging his arm off me.
‘Matteo! Great job with this year’s festival. It’s awesome,’ Dan gushes before putting on a stern face as he remembers we are mad at him. I roll my eyes. None of these men are any good at playing it cool.
‘Can we talk?’ Matteo says with a gentle expression. I can barely hear him. Dan is giving me a not-so-discreet thumbs up.
I follow Matteo down from the stage and into the hospitality tent, relieved to see that Alex isn’t around.
When we walk in, the place is bathed in soft light.
The tent roof is covered in twinkling stars.
Romantic, chilled-out music is playing and lots of people are swaying along or lounging on bales of hay.
‘Is your cheating ex-fiancée here?’ I say, not loving the jealous tinge.
‘Emphasis on the ex. And, now, my ex-business partner too,’ he says with a relieved sigh. ‘That’s where I’ve been all day. Making sure we never have to see each other ever again. She made it as difficult as possible but I’m finally free of her. She’s moving back to Valencia. To start over.’
‘But I saw you together last night, on The Strip. I saw you hugging. I saw you getting back together.’ The words are like glass in my throat.
‘You saw me ending things with her. It got a bit messy. We’ve been together a long time. She made a huge mistake but, to be honest, so did I. I never wanted to marry her. I kind of let myself get railroaded into it because we’ve spent fifteen years building that company.’
‘It must have been tough.’
‘I haven’t known what to do for the first time in my entire life,’ he says into my ear. ‘I feel like from the moment you and I met, everything turned upside down. Like for years I was just going through the motions, waiting for that day to arrive.’
I sense him blushing in the darkness.
‘That sounds stupid,’ he says. ‘But I don’t know how else to describe it. You have literally turned my world upside down.’
‘But what now? How do we be together? I’ve just been offered two jobs in two different countries.’
‘Of course you have,’ he says, his eyes creasing. ‘Of course you have. Why would you make this easy for me?’
This makes me chuckle.