Chapter 1 #2
My mind flies to last night. Luke definitely kissed me.
Not the other way round. Enough people filmed it for the evidence to be crystal clear.
Luke did all the leaning. All one inch of it.
But if I’m brutally honest, the footage looks very dubious.
Especially once uploaded to the World Wide Web.
Put that together with the damning tabloid attention we received during our Royal Northern Sinfonia tour, on account of a royal cousin wanting to marry Luke, and the odds are beginning to stack up against me.
Matteo would have every reason to be furious.
‘What did Luke say?’ Big Mand repeats.
She’s like a dog with a bone.
‘He said that he thinks he’s in love with me. That he’s never felt this way before, and that he would never forgive himself if he didn’t at least try to win me over because all’s fair in love and war.’
I can hear some murmuring before Big Mand says, ‘Oh, that’s quite sweet actually.’
Then Big Sue says in a slightly choked voice, ‘I guess if you feel strongly enough about a person, then you would fight for them. If it’s a love worth fighting for.’
There’s an almighty silence as we all wonder whether she’s talking about her and Big Mand, or simply reciting Cheryl Tweedy-Cole-Fernandez-Versini-almost-Payne-then-exhaustingly-all-the-way-back-to-Tweedy again.
‘Yes. Yes, you would fight for them,’ Ged agrees, loudly enough for the Dollz to hear over the roar of the engines. The aircraft has started to move. ‘Love conquers all. It’s about openness, accepting each other for who they really are, but above all, it’s about forgiveness.’
This too is followed by a lengthy silence as we appreciate Ged is really talking about the awkward situation (the accidental ‘outing’ that no one has dared yet mention) in the case of him and Liam versus the unconfirmed lesbians.
Big Mand and Big Sue, who for whatever reasons want to stay firmly in the closet, did not appreciate Ged and Liam posting a photo of the four of them with the caption ‘Just had the best double date ever’.
‘Well, for what it’s worth,’ Tash bellows, ‘I think love is blind.’
We all take a beat. This overused cliché makes no sense, not in any of the previously mentioned subtexts, unless she means Sister Kevin is blind to her obvious insanity.
A lovely lady from the airline sashays over to ask us all politely to shut up during the safety announcement, adding that we’re all wrong.
‘Love is about respect. Respect for the cabin crew and the pilot. And respect for what to do in the event of an emergency, such as a loss in cabin pressure, or our refusal to serve you free drinks later on if you don’t pipe down and listen. ’
Well, that’s love sorted. At least we have safely veered off the topic of me and my unrequited love triangle. While the cabin crew do their demonstration, I look down at my ill-fitting Barbie costume. We were in such a rush that we didn’t have time to change. I suggest we all swap clothes.
‘I’ll go in the toilet with Kev,’ Tash hisses through the seats, even though they have no need to swap clothes with each other. ‘It’s one of his BIG birthday surprises.’ She pauses to allow us to let our imaginations run wild as to what they could possibly get up to in such a confined space.
‘Christ alive. I’m not going in after you two then!’ shouts Liberty too loudly.
‘I thought you were already giving him a surprise for his BIG birthday,’ Big Sue says in a less-than-impressed tone. ‘Remember?’
Tash glares frostily at her.
‘BIG birthday?’ Sister Kevin says, smiling as he leans forward to look along the row. ‘Who has a BIG birthday coming up?’
This causes a lot of eye contact. Sister Kevin’s BIG birthday has been a constant bone of contention over the past few days. Now it seems it may not be as BIG as we hoped.
‘Be quiet or you’ll wake Cherry. She’s like a ticking time bomb, that one,’ Tash says, skilfully changing the topic.
As if evoking some macabre joint memory, I see panic flush their faces.
Cherry and pregnancy do not get on well.
For Cherry, motherhood is just one long struggle for meaning.
Tash has successfully dodged the Sister Kevin BIG birthday bullet for now.
I’m just thankful that when I turn back around in my seat, Ged and Liam have their headphones on and are watching the third series of Bridgerton. We are all avid fans of the show.
Liam lifts an earphone. He looks distraught. This whole week has been stressful. No wonder he’s showing signs of wear and tear.
‘Are you okay?’ I mouth.
He shakes his head sadly. ‘No.’
‘Everything will be fine,’ I promise, reaching over Ged to give his fingers a squeeze.
‘It won’t,’ he says with a huge sigh. ‘It won’t.’
‘It will.’ I must stay positive and strong for him. ‘We’ll find a way.’
‘You’re wasting your time,’ says Ged, lifting an earphone to intercept our conversation. ‘He’s talking about Bridgerton.’
I frown, perplexed.
‘I simply can’t fancy Colin,’ Liam says. ‘Lord knows I’ve tried, but I can’t. I just can’t.’ His eyes are glassy. ‘How many more brothers are there?’
Ah. I shrug sympathetically because we’ve all been there.
When you’ve had a taste of what I’ve had – Matteo the Magnificent (I promise I will stop calling him that as soon as it wears off) – then the Colins of this world are all rendered wet blankets.
That reminds me. The unrequited love triangle in Bridgerton is not dissimilar to my own.
At the thought of Luke, my heart sinks that he might sabotage my romantic trip to see Matteo.
I should put a stop to it. And even though I haven’t got a spontaneous bone in my body, it’s time to put on my big girl pants and take action.
I take a stealthy look around. Everyone seems to be asleep or watching their screens. I quietly unbuckle my seat belt and get up.
A hand lands heavily on my shoulder.
‘Not so fast.’ It’s Big Sue, acting like one of those undercover air marshals you see in films. ‘Where do you think you’re off to?’
‘The toilet,’ I say hesitantly.
Big Sue sees right through me. She lifts her hand to hide her lips and leans down.
‘You’re off to see if Luke has boarded this flight.
’ She regards me for a moment. ‘I’ll come too.
You need a distraction. I’ll run interference while you enter first class.
’ She glances down at the complex bit of kit on her wrist. ‘Rendezvous back here at fifteen hundred hours. Capeesh?’
The outfit has possessed Big Sue. That’s the only justification I can give for her talking Italian slang and acting like a mobster. And yet…
‘Capeesh.’ I nod back. Who am I to burst her bubble?