Chapter 6 #2
‘Are we outside? The sky? The river?’ Cherry asks, confused at the optical illusion surrounding us.
She points at the ceiling, which is painted and lit up just like a summer’s day.
We marvel at the gondolas floating past with Italian-looking gondoliers in uniforms of red trousers, blue and white striped tops, straw boater hats and jaunty red scarves.
At least it is distracting them from me and my horrendous green face situation.
‘We’re in Italy,’ says Big Mand, yawning as she points to the canal. ‘Come on, let’s go. No, wait. What are we doing again? I’ve completely forgotten.’
‘It’s jet lag,’ says Liberty, yawning. ‘I knew we should have slept on the way over. Can everyone stop yawning, please?’
‘Fatigue can kill,’ Big Mand says, forcefully slamming her fist into her palm. ‘I should know.’
‘Should you?’ What sort of baby unit does she work in?
She comes up to whisper loudly in my ear, ‘You’ve reminded me of the time I once handed a baby to a first-time mother. She took one look and screamed the place down.’
Ah, that’s not nice, is it? Most babies are ugly when they first come out.
Big Mand chuckles to herself. ‘When she turned it to face me, I’d given her some blue roll full of afterbirth. To be fair, I’d done a seventy-two-hour shift. So…’
Big Mand sure knows how to make a point. Poor woman must have been so traumatised. ‘And the baby?’
‘Laundry drawer. Absolutely fine.’
Christ.
‘Right. Okay. How about we get some caffeine? Strong coffees to keep us awake and alert?’
‘Is nobody going to mention that I look bloody fabulous on that screen?’ says Tash, gazing at herself. ‘Or that my Kev is missing? Shouldn’t we alert security or something? It’s been hours.’
‘It’s not even been two minutes. Calm the fuck down, babes.’ Liberty sweeps her bored gaze around our group. ‘I’m off to The Poker Room. I spotted some Stetson hats earlier. Cherry, hun, come with me. Cherry?’ Liberty frowns. ‘Cherry?’
There’s no sign of Cherry.
‘Shit. Let’s fan out,’ says Big Sue. She still has her hand on her imaginary earpiece. ‘Connie, you take the canal shopping area we just walked through. Mandeep, cover the casino slot machines while I do the crap tables. Tash? Tash? Where’s Tash gone?’
Tash has disappeared at the first sign of having to help out.
‘Roger that, Sue,’ says Big Mand, scanning the crowded machine area, eyes screwed up. ‘You do all the crap tables. I’ll do the good ones.’
Liberty lets out an exasperated moan. ‘For God’s sake, it’s craps tables. I’ll do a sweep of the casino floor with you.’
‘Whatever you do, stay awake!’ booms Big Mand, yelling as though she’s a mile away and a jumbo jet is flying overhead.
She charges off and instantly trips over a roll of pink carpet on the floor.
She falls heavily to the ground. It takes all of three seconds for us to realise the roll of carpet is Tash.
Big Mand shakes herself off as Big Sue hauls them both up.
Tash blinks rapidly. ‘What happened?’
Liberty gets Tash up to speed. ‘Cherry is AWOL.’
‘Cherry is AWOL?’ Tash repeats.
‘Yes.’
‘AWOL?’ Tash says again. ‘As in AWOL?’
Liberty sighs. ‘Yes, Tash. As in AWOL.’
Tash springs into action. ‘FUUUUUCK! FUCKETY FUUUUUUCK!’ she screams, running off. We see her blonde wig disappear into the crowd. It doesn’t look as though she’ll be coming back.
‘Where is she going?’ asks Liberty.
‘Anyone feel her reaction is a bit extreme?’ I ask, convinced we’re all severely jet-lagged.
‘No shit, Sherlock,’ says Liberty, laughing. ‘Now, I’m going to have to find Tash and Cherry.’
‘Uh-huh. Roger that,’ says Big Sue briskly.
She’s gone full commando mode yet again, but at least I know the job will get done.
She’s very good like that. No nonsense. Never flaps in a crisis.
‘Rendezvous at zero one hundred and twenty hours and forty pence,’ says Big Sue, staring hard at her bare wrist.
Liberty and I take a moment to look bleakly at one another.
‘I think it’ll be easier to just round them all up and put them to bed,’ she says.
It’ll be like herding cats.
‘I agree. We have the WhatsApp group. I’ll drop this location in the chat,’ I say. ‘Everyone, meet back here when we’ve found Cherry and Tash. Okay?’
Big Sue snaps out of her trance. ‘Roger that, Big Guy.’
‘Affirmative,’ agrees Big Mand, dusting herself off.
‘Whatever… Big Guy,’ chortles Liberty.
We separate out across the casino. I head outside and up a travelator towards the canal shopping centre.
I marvel at how ‘outside-like’ it is. I wander past the canals where gondoliers are singing Italian opera to customers in the gondolas.
Their voices carry across the water to the crowds gathering to watch and listen from the bridge that goes over it, just like the ones in Venice.
Whoever owns the hotel has really committed to the replica.
It’s surreal. I watch a couple being serenaded as they float underneath the bridge.
The singer is clearly opera trained. It instantly reminds me that Luke is here in this hotel.
A sinking feeling floods my stomach. I really hope he gets the hint and backs off.
Though I can’t see how he’d find me anyway; this place is so huge.
The chances of bumping into him must be virtually zero.
A searing pain spears my head. I’m so tired.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. Something is niggling at my brain. Why does that not sound plausible?
The penny drops.
The huge, massive TV screens showing adverts. Luke would only have to walk around the hotel once to see huge images of me and exactly where I’m going to be tomorrow evening.
Shitting hell.