Chapter 7
I shake the thought of Luke and what he’s planning to do from my head.
I don’t have the bandwidth for it. Half my mind is on what Birdie is up to with Matteo.
The other half is on how to round up the Dollz so we can get some sleep.
Just enough shut-eye to tide us over this difficult spell.
Then there’s Ged and Liam and cocktails tonight.
Oh, God. Ged and Liam! I check my phone.
Where are you? We are waiting by the love sign as agreed!
Ged has added an angry-face emoji.
I speedily type.
Sorry. Thought you’d fallen asleep. Meet in casino at the pin drop.
I can see Ged typing.
No worries. Have spotted Harry Styles walking to Palazzo. Am trying to catch him up.
I type:
Abort, abort. Is not the real Harry Styles. Is lookalike. Barry Styles.
He replies with a crying emoji.
I run from shop to shop, peering in windows full of merchandise for the hotel: jewellery, gifts and the most incredible selection of donuts. Then it hits me. I cast my gaze around. Bingo.
A huge sign saying IT’SUGAR in bright lights towers over a sweet shop. I race towards it and peer in through the window. Cherry is very easy to spot because she is slumped face down over a bowl of what look like jellies. Her flaming-red ponytail is bobbing up and down.
‘Ma’am, you have to purchase those candies before you consume them,’ a stern-faced assistant is telling her as I approach. Cherry lifts her face from the bowl. She’s about to go nuclear. Her cheeks are full like a chipmunk’s. Eyes wide with outrage.
‘How much is it?’ I ask. The assistant squints while she tots it all up.
‘She’s had seventy-four dollars’ worth of Hershey’s, two bags of Tootsie Rolls, a Swedish Fish and, oh yeah, a whole jumbo bag of gummies.
And she’s kinda ruined that bowl of candy for everyone.
So…’ She sucks in a sharp breath. ‘Four hundred and twenty-five dollars should cover it, ma’am. ’
‘Cherry,’ I say, shaking her out of the trance she appears to be in. ‘Where’s your money?’
‘What money?’
‘Your money to spend.’
Cherry suddenly starts sobbing loudly. Apparently, her thinning-haired husband doesn’t trust her with the credit card any more.
Not since she left the house to go buy a much-needed second-hand car, and returned days later with a new pair of boobs.
The assistant has no idea what to do with this information.
She looks around as though hoping for a passing psychiatrist. Or at the very least some hotel security.
‘I’ll pay,’ I offer. I quickly swipe my credit card through the machine, wincing at the extortionately crippling amount, and escort Cherry out of the shop. ‘Come on. You’ll be okay,’ I soothe. ‘Everything will work out for the best. We’ll just meet the others, and then get some rest.’
Cherry wipes her face and sniffs out a thank you. She’s in a right mess. Back to how she was in Benidorm with streaks of make-up running down her face. ‘I’ll be fine once I start gambling. It’ll take my mind off things.’
I nod. ‘I’m sure it will. I’m sure it will.’ I’m absolutely 100 per cent sure it won’t, but she needs something to cling to.
* * *
A short while later, we have made it back to the drop spot.
Big Sue is there holding Tash upright. Tash appears awake but apparently is sleeping with her eyes open while standing.
‘Kinda like a horse,’ says Big Sue. ‘Who’da thunk it?
Impressive, huh?’ She lets go for a few seconds and Tash remains rigid.
I try not to look startled. Big Sue has now adopted a full-on Deep South accent.
‘Great. So, we have Cherry, you, Tash, and where’s Big Mand?’
Big Sue checks her pockets. ‘No idea, Big Guy. No idea. We’ve been compromised. Infiltrated. Burned. Whaddaya-gonna-do-abad-it?’
Effing hell.
I do some quick thinking. There’s a bar area next to us that seems to double as a snack bar.
It seems safe enough to leave these three there while I go in search of Liberty and Big Mand.
Big Mand will be furious with Tash. She has made it very clear that we all must stay awake or we will be too shattered for Ged and Liam’s BIG pre-moon spree extravaganza tonight, which would be our morning in body-clock time, and the knock-on effect will be wanting to sleep during our opening gig tomorrow night.
The Venetian has a reputation for world-class performances, especially for its Cocktail Hour entertainment, and if we don’t deliver, Nancy, our agent, will never book us ever again.
‘Hey, what’s up? What happened to meeting at the love sign?’ asks Liam on approach. He is dressed in his Rollerblading Ken outfit. It is neon yellow with paint splashes all over it. ‘What do you think?’ he says, twirling around.
It’s a very powerful statement, that’s what I think. It leaves nothing to the imagination.
‘I love it. It really brings out the yellow in your arms and legs,’ says Cherry.
‘I tried to talk him out of it,’ says Ged, dressed in the Cowboy Ken outfit he travelled here in. ‘Here’s the stuff to take your green face away.’ He hands me a small pot, which I slip into my pocket.
‘Can you please babysit these three for me?’ I ask them.
‘I need to round up Liberty and Big Mand. Then I really think we should have a very short nap before cocktail hour. I’ve booked us all a table at the Minus5 bar.
I think the freezing-cold atmosphere might help keep us awake.
’ I mentally cross my fingers and hope that the boys agree.
Ged yawns loudly. ‘Absolutely fine by me.’
‘Great. Please eat something,’ I say, pointing to the rather unappetising weeks-old jumbo hot dogs, ‘and I’ll be back in five with the others.’
I put a message in the group chat to return to our bedrooms for an emergency snooze, but the Dollz are obviously not checking the WhatsApp updates.
I race off deeper into the casino, weaving in and out of the slot machines, the gaming tables, the hundreds and hundreds of people.
I scan the floor and instantly spot Liberty.
Her blonde ponytail is swinging jauntily.
Her tiny butt cheeks are poking below her teeny tiny Barbie dress as she leans over a roulette table to place a bet in the most provocative way I’ve ever seen.
There are multiple sets of eyes on her. I smile fondly to myself.
She really is a force to be reckoned with.
‘Hey,’ I say, fighting through a small crowd to get to her. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Absolutely brilliant,’ she squeals over her shoulder. ‘I’m up all of these chips. No idea what they’re worth, but this is amazing. And they keep bringing me free drinks!’
Liberty is shining with excitement. It seems a shame to pull her away. ‘I, erm, kind of need your help.’
‘For what?’
‘Putting the others to bed. Big Sue and Tash are virtually asleep anyway, and Cherry… Well, Cherry…’
How to describe Cherry snorting jellies like a sugar-crazed buffalo?
‘Pffft,’ Liberty scoffs. ‘They’re not babies. Besides, I’ve just seen Cherry.’
‘Have you? I literally just left her two seconds ago.’
‘Yeah. Just now. She needed to borrow my Monzo card. Needed to buy something to drink. Even though I told her all the drinks here are free.’
Oh no.
‘What?’ asks Liberty. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’
‘I… No reason. No reason. I’m sure Cherry wouldn’t…’
‘Ah, shit,’ Liberty groans. ‘She doesn’t need my card to buy a drink, does she?’
I shake my head sympathetically.
Liberty hurriedly gathers up her chips and lifts the hem of her dress up like a tiny hammock.
‘Quick, help me with this lot. Let’s cash it in and hunt down Cherry before she spends every penny I have.
’ When we’ve scooped every last plastic chip into her dress, she bunches the material up at her pelvis like a lumpy colostomy bag.
‘Big Mand can help us. She’s the one in charge,’ I say, whipping out my phone. ‘Don’t worry, Big Mand will have her tracked down in no time.’ She’s like a sniffer dog. I jab at my phone. Thank God for no-nonsense, shift-working, dependable midwives.
Liberty rolls her eyes.
‘What?’ I say, following her finger to a nearby sofa.
It’s Big Mand. She’s collapsed, spread-eagled, with her nose in the air.
She’s flat out, snoring very loudly. She has the whole sofa and general area to herself.
I watch her chest rise and fall with a steady rhythm.
Legs akimbo. Barbie knee-length socks and sky-high sandals propped up on two coffee tables in front of her.
Blonde ponytail wig askew. Pink Barbie dress twisted round her body. Mouth gaping open.
‘We’ll come back for her,’ says Liberty briskly. ‘She’s clearly not going anywhere. Let’s bank this lot, go find that blinking Cherry, and get my card off her.’
‘We can’t leave her like that,’ I say. ‘Let’s just wake her up and bring her with us.’
Liberty tuts. ‘Okay. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.’
* * *
Five minutes later, I wish I’d listened. Big Mand is in a very deep sleep. I’m tugging at her arm while Liberty is slapping her face with increasing ferocity.
‘It’s no use,’ I say, stepping back. ‘We’ll have to leave her here. She’ll just have to sleep the jet lag off.’
At the mention of jet lag and sleep, Big Mand’s eyes snap open.
‘Who? Who is sleeping? How dare they!’ she booms, leaping up.
She has woken up swinging. She seems to have lost all sense of who and where she is.
Her head swivels around as she pummels her fist into her palm ready for action. ‘Where? Who? I’ll take the lottuv-yuz.’
Liberty slaps her once more.
With glazed eyes, Big Mand responds by trying to karate kick Liberty in the throat.