Chapter 7 #3
With his hands no longer occupied from the action of putting his hair up, he swiped them along his navy suit pants, and quirked his mouth to the side “Shit, I would love to say that I would.
My idealistic side wants to say ‘Fuck money, who needs it?’ I've seen it bring out the worst in people.
I've often wondered what my life would have been like if it hadn't been at the center of our family dynamics.
But at the same time, I've had experiences that I wouldn't have had without it.
I don't know if I would have ever discovered glassblowing if I hadn't traveled to Venice and seen it done first-hand.”
Jasper looked pensive for a moment and pointed a finger at me.
“What I know, though, is not feeling like I can make independent choices because of the strings I'm tied to, that's what I hate.
I want to have control over my own finances, whether big or small.
I want control over my own life, and not feel like it can be taken away from me because my desires don't line up with the interests of my parents.”
“Nobody else should get to dictate what you do with your life. In my experience, when you find something that makes you happy, you don't let it go.”
Jasper met my gaze, a soft light returning to his golden brown eyes, and he offered me a tentative smile “You are really good at this, you know?”
I shrugged and felt my cheeks warm slightly at the praise. I pushed my glasses up my nose and said, “It's just words. I wish there was more I could do to help.”
“They're good words, though. Besides, you've already helped me more than anyone in my life.
I'm sorry for bringing all this drama to your doorstep. You were so generous, and now the barn is going to be stuck in this half-done state. If I had started with a smaller package with the contractor, I might have at least been able to get my business off the ground. It would have been slow-going, but I could have done… something. Instead, I aimed for the stars, only to fall on my ass and be stuck in the dirt.”
“Keep aiming for the stars, Jasper. I like the way they twinkle in your eyes.” I bit my lip as soon as the words came out, realizing how they sounded. Luckily, Jasper didn't seem put off by the forwardness of it.
He responded by leaning forward and throwing his arms around my neck. “Thank you, Gio.”
“Anytime.” As he clung to me, my arms found their way around his back. It was amazing how easy it felt to hold him like this, and how much I wanted this to be a regular occurrence. Without the hurt and despair, of course.
Jasper sighed and sat back. “I don't have a lot of people in my life who support my dreams. So, uh, thank you, again. You've been so kind to me.”
“You've got more than you know. You have me—us—the kids care, too. Plus, you have the Heartcraft folks. I know Marley has taken a liking to you, though, admittedly, that's not hard. He likes everyone.”
Jasper smiled, a real one, one that made him look angelic. I only missed the sparkle of the septum rings he usually wore which highlighted his sweet mouth. “He does. I don't know how a serious guy like Derek ever landed someone as sunshiny as him, but, I gotta admit, they are adorable together.”
I grinned, happy to see some of his shadows disappear. “They really are. Speaking of which, Heartcraft is tomorrow. It might be a good mood booster. I know I always come away from it feeling refreshed. And, there's the Maker's Mall. There's nothing like being around art to inspire art.”
Jasper's head bobbed slowly. “You know what? I think you're right. Heartcraft is as far removed as I can get from my parents’ world, which is exactly what I need right now.”
“I'll be going early, if you want to come with me. You can keep me company at my booth.”
His brown eyes looked a little more golden when he responded happily, “I would love that. It's the least I can do after you let me cry on you.”
I smiled warmly and put my hand on his knee. “I don't mind.”
“Thanks again. I know I keep saying that, but I don't know how else to express my gratitude to you for just being there. I, um, should probably head home if we're going to have an early morning.”
“Or you could stay.” Fuck! Where did that thought come from? Well, I knew where it came from, I wasn't ready to lose Jasper's company yet, but I didn't expect to say it. I coughed to clear my throat and my mind. “We have plenty of room.”
“Actually… that sounds really nice. I know once I'm alone, my thoughts are going to get loud again, and I'd like to put them off for a little while if I could.”
“Great!” I barked out, louder than I meant. “Um, great. We can set you up in the guest room, if that works.”
Jasper pursed his lips and looked around my bedroom. “Would it be terrible if I stayed with you? I don't want to impose or anything, but… I don't want to be alone.”
“Yeah, yes, of course. That's fine.” Slow your roll, Gio, don't sound too eager.
“Thank you.” Jasper leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I'm going to go freshen up, I feel like a mess.”
“You're not.”
Jasper tapped my cheek lightly with his palm and smirked. “Liar.”
The playful action had me grinning widely as he went into the private bathroom attached to my bedroom like he belonged here. The idea of him being comfortable enough to stay with me, made my heart trip over itself.
I was going to have someone in my bed. What the fuck was I supposed to do with him?