Chapter Ten
L ee tried to blot out her final goodbye with Adam and Jessie. She hadn’t cried…at least not until after his SUV pulled away.
She’d gone through the motions the rest of the day. She’d gone into work, sorted some beach glass, then closed up the shop and headed home.
Now, standing outside her cottage, looking at its empty twin, she couldn’t go inside, so she sat on her porch and just stared at the lake. She felt as if there were a hole in her life. She’d lived with one for the last year, but she’d been right, it had finally healed. This hole, however, was new and open.
She missed Adam and Jessie.
Missed coming home to them.
Missed talking to Adam about her day.
Missed listening to Jessie.
She thought about a walk down the beach, but couldn’t work up much enthusiasm.
“Hi, honey,” her mother said as she rounded the corner of the house. “How was work?”
“Great. I sold a few pieces and have an idea for a new pin, so I guess it was productive.”
Her mother slid into the chair next to her, the one Adam had sat in so often. “I brought you these.”
Her mother handed her a stack of pictures. “I bought a printer for them. They’re good aren’t they?”
Lee thumbed through them. The one of her and her parents. Of Adam and Jessie. The three of them together. But the ones that really captured her attention was the series of her and Adam pulling Jessie from the water. The three of them. Laughing and wet.
“You miss him.” There was no question in her mother’s words, just utter certainty.
“Yes.”
She expected her mother to start itemizing where she’d gone wrong and point out the steps she could take to fix the situation. Instead, her mother merely nodded.
“We do, too. He’s a very nice man, and that Jessie…” She laughed. “That one is going to be quite a handful as she gets older. We hope he comes to visit now and again, because we’d like to see them both.”
“We talked about them coming for holidays.” But she realized he’d never promised. Maybe he’d rather just have a clean break.
The thought depressed her.
“Your father and I will be leaving soon as well. We think we’re going to go to the Poconos for a few weeks, then maybe move into New England somewhere. We realized we’ve never seen New England in autumn. It’s supposed to be breathtaking. After that, somewhere south for the winter.”
“You’ll be stopping in here again?” Lee was surprised how much she wanted them to.
“Yes. We just don’t want to overstay our welcome. I know you’re used to a certain measure of solitude. I also know you haven’t had much at all in the last few weeks between Adam and Jessie, and us. But we’ll be back…as long as it’s okay with you.”
“Of course it’s all right with me.”
Her mother reached over and took her hand. “We made mistakes, your father and I. But they never had anything to do with not loving you.”
“I know that, too. I kept telling myself I was over all my childhood resentments, but I wasn’t until recently. I am now. I’d love a chance to see more of you and Dad. I’d like to have a closer relationship.”
“Us, too.”
Lee realized her mother, her always strong and in control mother, was crying. “So, about Adam. Do you have some advice?”
It was the first time she’d ever asked for her mother’s opinion. Before, her mother had always been quick to offer, but this time she realized she really wanted to hear what her mother had to say.
“You’d think I would, wouldn’t you? I know we’ve always told you how to build your business, how to live your life. It wasn’t that we weren’t proud of you, but rather we didn’t know what to say to you. I’ve decided that simply saying, Lee, we’re very proud of what you’ve accomplished, will suffice. You’re a grown woman, a strong, intelligent woman who knows what she wants. I have no doubt whatever you do will be the right thing for you.”
Lee hadn’t realized how much she wanted to hear words like that.
“Thanks,” was all she could manage to choke out.
“Of course, as much as I’d like to leave it at that, to not try and fix your life for you, I will say just one thing. Follow your heart. I wish I’d listened to mine more when you were growing up. That I would have worked harder at meeting your needs, not just the business’s. Don’t make that mistake with Adam. Don’t let your rational reasons outweigh your heart.”
“Mom,” Lee began, but didn’t know what she wanted to say.
Her mother seemed to understand. She patted her hand. “Now, I have a route to plan. I’ll leave you to your peace and quiet.”
Her mother got up, then leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I know you’ll work it out.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Rather than just let her mother go, Lee reached out and threw her arms around her, hugging her tight. “I mean it, thanks.”
“They were words that should have been said years ago. I’m just sorry it took us so long to realize it.”
Lee sat in her rocker for the longest time, watching the sun set behind the lake. Emotions chased after logic, which chased after memories.
She wanted Adam and Jessie, but didn’t want to be involved with another business-comes-first man.
She wanted them here, at the cottages, but that wasn’t going to happen.
She looked through the pictures again. Her heart aching, wanting them both here with her.
This wasn’t getting her anywhere, so she decided to stop trying. She sat back and concentrated on not thinking. But something had changed. It wasn’t as peaceful as it normally was.
As a matter of fact, for the first time in her life, Lee felt…lonely.
She made herself a light dinner and looked forward to some relief from the pressing feeling while she slept, but even her dreams brought no comfort. She had the dream she’d dreamed so often over the years. Ever since she’d washed her face in the dew. But the dream had changed. Rather than dark and faceless, the man in her dreams was Adam. Magic does exist, he told her, as he had for years. But now he added, Come to me, let me show you.
Then she was working on a new necklace and a baby began crying. Unlike the earlier nightmares, Lee didn’t ignore the sound. Instead, she jumped up and went to the crib where Jessie sat, holding out her arms to Lee.
She brought the baby to her and realized Adam was at her side.
Magic does exist, he repeated. Let me show you.
His dream request stayed with her as she woke. Only the request wasn’t just a dream. Adam had really asked her to come, but she’d said no.
Why?
Erie was her home and she loved her cottage by the lake and her business, but…
There it was, that but . She hadn’t exactly figured out but what, yet it was there. Big and looming.
Days passed as Lee tried unsuccessfully to get back to a normal routine. She walked the beach, worked on her jewelry. When that didn’t help, she pulled out her sketch pad and tried to empty her mind with a drawing of the lake. She managed it, but without even thinking, she’d drawn a man and a toddler walking along the shore. Walking away.
She snapped the pad shut.
She’d said no. She knew it was the right decision. New York wasn’t where she belonged. This was her home.
And as much as she knew it was true, it didn’t feel quite as right as it always had.
She returned to the cottage and heard the phone ringing. She entered and snatched up the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Lee.” Adam’s voice. “I’m so glad we caught you.”
She had a brief moment of panic. “Is something wrong?”
“No. I thought we’d call and say good night. Jessie has something to say to you.”
She could hear the phone being jiggled, then Jessie’s voice. “La, la, la.”
“Isn’t that great?”
“She learned to yodel?” Lee asked.
“No. That’s your name. Lee. I was talking about you as I fed her dinner, and she just started. La la.”
“My name?”
“I wished she’d said it before we left so you could have been there. But I thought a call was the next best thing.”
Next best thing.
Lee knew she wasn’t getting the best thing, just the next best.
“Thanks. It’s wonderful.” She could make out the la-las in the background growing fainter.
“Uh-oh. Gotta run. She’s found a tissue box.”
Lee was ready to hang up when she heard him utter a faint, “Miss you.”
“Miss you, too.”
He’d called and given her the next best thing. For the last year she’d pined for what she’d lost and tried to make do with the next best thing. And here she was, settling for it again.
Wasn’t it time she insisted on the best thing?
Lee spent the evening making plans, plans that started with a call to Juliet and ended when she walked out to her parents’ RV the next morning.
“Lee,” her mother called, a smile on her face. “You got up early to come see us off?”
“No. Actually, I came to see how you felt about picking up a hitchhiker and taking a small detour on your way to the Poconos.”
“Does this mean what I think it means?” her mother asked anxiously.
Lee nodded. “It does if you thought Juliet would take over the shop. Part of her wages will go toward buying a share in a full partnership. She’ll deal with anyone who’s interested in renting the extra cottage as well.”
“And you?” her mother pressed.
“I’m heading to NewYork City. I could drive, but I know parking’s crazy expensive there. And I could fly, but…” She didn’t have time to finish the sentence.
Her mother bellowed, “Aston, hurry up and let’s get this baby on the road. We’ve got a detour to make.”
Lee watched as her cottage got smaller and eventually faded from sight. She’d miss it. Miss her quiet life on the lake. She’d grown up here. She’d come here, after she’d lost the baby, to heal. It had been home. But since Adam had arrived, things had changed. When he’d left, she’d realized that this wasn’t home anymore. Home was wherever Jessie and Adam were.
The miles didn’t seem to pass fast enough. And it wasn’t just that she was anxious to get to Adam.
When Lee had come up with the idea of hitching a ride with her parents, it had sounded good. Logical even.
She’d worked so hard to take everything into account as she prepared for New York. But she hadn’t prepared for the fact that her father was new at the whole recreational-vehicle-driving thing.
New and not so good at it.
By the time they reached the halfway point on Interstate 80, she discovered it was best to sit in the back of the RV and pretend she wasn’t in a moving minibus with her father at the wheel.
When they finally started to hit New York traffic, even that didn’t work. She tried to cope with her father maneuvering the RV through New York’s congested streets by closing her eyes and visualizing the lake. Calm. Serene. The sound of waves.
Unfortunately, the sound of beeping horns far outweighed her ability to pretend.
She tried to pretend her nervousness was about seeing Adam, and though part of it was, truly, the main emotion she felt about seeing him was overwhelming excitement.
“Dad, really, I appreciate the ride, but I can take a cab the rest of the way.”
“Nonsense,” he scoffed. “The RV handles like a dream. Look how well she took that last corner.”
By well, he meant he avoided hitting the taxi by a mere inch or two.
“Mom,” Lee tried, looking for an ally.
“Lighten up, sweetheart. Life is an adventure.”
Lee couldn’t help smiling. She had never seen this side of her parents. As she thought about it, she wasn’t sure if it had been there all along and old resentments had made her miss it, or if this was a new happy-go-lucky stage for her mother—but either way, Lee liked it.
“I’ll lighten up if we make it to Adam’s without an accident.” Somehow, confessing she wanted a chance with him while wearing a body cast wasn’t exactly what she had in mind.
“Have a little faith,” her dad said. “Because, here we are.”
“The receptionist said it was the sixth floor,” her mother said.
“I just want to thank you both. For the ride. For coming to my house. For everything.”
“Honey—” Her mother stopped, emotions playing across her face. “You don’t have to thank family.…We love you.”
She hugged them both. “Me, too. Wish me luck?”
“We don’t need to. This is where you’re meant to be. With Adam and Jessie.”
“We’re still heading to the Poconos, so we’ll only be a few hours away. You call if you need us.”
“Thank you. I’m so glad you started your retirement off in my backyard. I’ve always loved you both, but now I…” The word that came to mind was like . She liked them.
“You’re stalling,” said her mother. “Go get Adam. Send him our love.”
Cars honked from behind the RV. “Yes. I’m going.”
She picked up her suitcase, her purse and got out of the RV. She stood on the sidewalk and watched as her father eased the behemoth back into traffic and down the street.
She was going to miss them.
It was a new feeling, and she stood a moment simply appreciating it. Then she turned to study the skyscraper in front of her. She walked through the rotating door and spotted the elevator.
It was crowded with people. “Could someone hit six for me?” she asked as she wormed her way in.
Three stops later, the door opened and she got out along with one other passenger. “Do you know where you’re going, miss?” he asked.
“Delmark, Inc.”
“The door’s down this way to the right.” He started walking with her.
“Thanks, but I’m sure I can find it.”
“I’m heading that way anyway.” He blatantly studied her as they walked, then broke out in a broad grin. “You’re Lee, aren’t you?”
“Darius?” she asked.
“Got it in one. You here for a visit?”
“I won’t know for sure until I’ve talked to Adam. Is he in? I know I should have called first, but I…” She simply shrugged. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t called. Maybe she feared he’d say don’t come, although she knew that wasn’t rational. Her coming to New York had been his idea, after all.
“He’s at a meeting until after lunch, but why don’t we put your stuff down in my office and I’ll give you a tour, then take you to lunch while we wait.”
“Really, I don’t want to take up your time. I can just go do a bit of sightseeing, then come back.”
“Are you kidding? I can’t let you leave until he gets back. He’d kill me. And just think, if we start our friendship with you saving me from certain death, then I’ll owe you. Not such a bad thing, that.”
She laughed. “You do have a point. If you’re sure I won’t throw your entire day out of whack. I know how busy things are with branching out.”
“Don’t you worry.” He led her through the outer office and stopped in front of the receptionist. “Lee, this is Amanda. Amanda this is—”
“ The Lee?” the woman asked.
Darius nodded. “Whenever she comes, she gets right in.”
“Like I’d keep you out.” The gray-haired lady didn’t look like Pearly Gates, other than the hair color, but she had a Pearly-esque feel about her. Like someone who could be counted on. “Doll, the entire staff is going to be so glad to hear you’re here.”
Lee shot Darius a questioning glance.
“Let’s just say, Adam hasn’t been his normal self since he came back.”
Hazel made a snorting noise. “He’s been a total ba…bear.”
“Now, let’s get on with your tour of Delmark, Inc. Then I’ll take you out to lunch. Before Adam even gets back, you’ll wonder how you could live anywhere but New York.”
They stored her bag in Darius’s office. He was a charming companion. He introduced her to the entire staff, showed her the Manhattan facility and blueprints of the plant they intended to build.
“Have you bought property for it yet?” she asked. “I might not be an architect, but I can see it’s going to be a huge facility.”
“We made it bigger than necessary because we want room for future expansion. As for a location, that’s Adam’s department. But he’s been working on something since he got back. Now, what about lunch?”
He took her to Grand Central Station. There was a beautiful restaurant on the upper level. Lee couldn’t take in the entire scope of the building, so she concentrated on its pieces. The towering windows. Flags. The clock. But mainly, the people, all rushing, hurrying. It left her feeling breathless.
Darius kept her laughing throughout the meal. Telling her stories of Adam and the business.
“Did Adam tell you how we met?” Before she could answer, he continued, “He spoke at our school and, being extremely insightful and discerning, I latched on to him.”
“I have a feeling it was a bit more mutual than that.”
“No. He never had a chance. I was a pest. I can see it now, but he never let on. He gave me a job and he was the one who pushed me to go to college. He gave me what he termed a scholarship, but in actuality was a gift. He let me work around my classes, and when I graduated two years ago, he brought me in and…here I am. Vice president.”
“He must have a lot of trust in your abilities.”
“He’s special. And I hope that’s why you’ll forgive me if I’m blunt. Don’t see him unless you’re going to stay. Leaving you…it’s tearing him up. Don’t put him through that a second time.”
She paused, staring at Darius. “I’m here to stay.”
“Great. Then let’s head over and see if the boss is in.”
“I meant to ask, what kind of meeting? That same important client that brought him back?”
“No. It’s even more important than that. He tries to get home and have lunch with Jessie whenever he can. So he schedules his meetings in the morning, then lunches with her and comes back to the office.”
Any worries about this being the right course evaporated as they walked together. Adam had every right to be proud of the business he’d built. She was sure that there would be long days and travel. But he tried to lunch with Jessie.
She smiled. “Let’s hurry.”
Adam had buried himself in paperwork. He worked hard to get out of the office by five o’clock every day, so he could have dinner with Jessie as well. It was tough, but it was worth the effort.
Jessie was thriving with the new situation. She basked in her grandparents’ attention all day, and when Adam appeared, he showered her with his attention, saving any reports and memos until after she was in bed.
He knew there would be times he’d miss a dinner or lunch, but Jessie would always know he tried, that she came first.
Lee would be pleased.
He thought about calling, even went so far as to pick up the phone, then set it back down. If he told her, she’d think he was trying to butter her up to move here. She’d been adamant about staying in Erie.
Well, he had plans for that.
He opened the latest proposal for the factory. There was a light rap on his door.
“Come in,” he called, not looking up. “Thanks Sheri. You can just put the figures on the table. I’ll get to them next.”
Someone cleared her throat. “Uh, I’m not Sheri, and I don’t have any figures. But I do have a suitcase sitting in Darius’s office, and a proposal.”
“Lee?” He jumped up from his desk and hurried around, pulling her into his arms. “You’re here. You’re in New York. How long can you stay?”
He didn’t wait for an answer, but kissed her instead. Knowing he’d never be able to find the right words to describe how he felt, he tried to convey the emotions in that kiss. He needed her to understand how much he’d missed her.
“Well,” she whispered when they finally drew apart, “I’m happy to see you, too. And as for your question, how long I’m here depends on you.”
“I’ll have Darius get on the apartment right away, if it’s still available. If not, you can stay with Jessie’s grandparents maybe, until we find something else. I—” He stopped. “I can’t believe you’re here. I never thought you’d leave home.”
“But I’m not leaving home.”
“Oh. Sorry. I must have sounded like a fool. But I’m confused.”
“Adam, after you left, I discovered that my home is wherever you and Jessie are. So at this moment in time, it appears that New York is my home. And as for giving us a try, that’s not what I want. What I want is for us to be a family. The three of us.”
“Lee, that’s what I was going to ask you. I just wanted to give you more time.”
“I’ve had more time than you realize. Do you recognize this?” She reached beneath her shirt and pulled out a necklace. “It’s the glass you left me that last day. My grandmother had told me if I washed my face in the dew the morning of my tenth birthday, I’d meet the man I’d one day marry. The man of my dreams. Then my archnemesis came along, and I…I pretended I had drops in my eyes and had to keep them closed.”
“You didn’t want to risk having to marry me?”
“Are you kidding? Back then I’d have rather kissed a toad than you. But, you left this for me and kissed me so sweetly on the cheek. And, I confess, I peeked as you walked away. So, you see, you have to marry me. It’s been destined since I was ten.”
“I’m the man of your dreams, eh?”
“Don’t let it go to your head, Benton.”
Adam laughed. He’d felt as if he were going through the motions until now, until Lee had come home to him. “I’m sure you won’t let me. What about your store?”
“Juliet is taking over and will buy into a partnership with me. She’s already talking about expanding the stock.”
“You don’t mind?”
She shook her head. “The store was always a means to an end. I worked to live, not lived to work, remember. I could take it or leave it. But my art, that’s part of me, part of who I am. I realized that Delmark is part of you. It was selfish of me to ask that you give it up. Your passion for the business is part of what makes you you. And since I’m in love with you—”
“I swear, you and Jessie are more important than the company.”
“But it’s important, too. And that’s okay. What’s not okay is that you never did answer my question. Adam Mathias Benton, will you marry me?”
There was only one answer he could give her, this woman of his dreams. “Yes.”
“Yes.” She laughed weakly. “I didn’t realize how nervous I was about your answer until you gave it to me.”
“Yes was the only answer I could give. I was coming back to you.”
“You were?”
He could hear the surprise in her voice. Didn’t she realize how much she meant to him?
“The new factory? I’ve spent the day on the phone with the mayor of Erie, negotiating with the city for tax breaks. There’s an old factory on Twelfth Street. I won’t be there all the time, but I’ll need to be there often, so you’re not totally giving up your home. We’ll be in Erie part of the year. You’ll get to be home.”
“I meant what I said, you and Jessie are my home. The only home I’ll ever need.”
He fingered the necklace, the small bit of glass. “You’re sure?”
She kissed him then. “Positive. Adam Mathias Benton, you’re the man of my dreams.”