Chapter 11 Lily #2
“I think he’s a good man in a shitty position—and I think it speaks volumes about his character that he shared his treason.
That he knew he might lose you, and he still did it anyway.
Is that enough to make up for the deaths and the destruction and the pain he caused?
I really don’t know. It’s a very complicated situation.
And if you decide you can’t make it work, you’ll move on one day and find some other nice young man, and you’ll be very happy.
Because you won’t age now, there’ll never be a rush to find the right person so you can have your children.
You can wait a hundred years if you want.
But if you really love him—and think there’s a chance that you could never love someone the same way—then I think you should try. ”
I hung on to every word my father shared with me, feeling the pain when I felt the last thing he’d said kick me in the heart.
“The way I love him…I can’t even put into words.
It feels like two different people to me now.
There’s the man I love with all my heart, and there’s the god of the underworld… ”
“Well, he’s not the god of the underworld anymore.”
“I know.”
“He’s just the man now. If that means anything to you.”
My father pointed out the vineyard from the top of the cliffs, far away and at a lower altitude, a speck in my vision. But he described the home and the barn, so I asked Zehemoth for a ride because getting there by horse would take an hour.
And why would I ride a horse when I could ride a dragon?
I climbed onto Zehemoth’s saddle, and he left the top of the cliffs before he soared over the village down below, heading to the hills and valley where farmers grew our crops and raised cattle. It bordered the wildlands that the dragons claimed as their own.
Zehemoth glided over the valley then approached the home at the top of the hill, the large barn door slid open. He came in for a delicate landing, like he didn’t trust me to hold on when I was delirious in my despair.
He waited for me to climb down before he rubbed his snout against me. Let me know when you’re finished. I’ll be hunting.
“Okay.”
I’ll save you some.
“I’ll pass,” I said with a slight chuckle.
He opened his wings and took off again, bringing his large body into the sky before he glided toward the dragons’ domain.
I looked at the vineyard and saw the healthy vines on the wire, the purple grapes that were sour to the tongue. I’d tried to eat them when I was a kid and quickly learned they weren’t sweet.
I approached the barn door, seeing it completely rolled back on the wheels that supported it. The inside was cast in shadow because the intense sunlight outside somehow made it darker in comparison. My eyes struggled to adjust.
I eventually found Callum across the room, working on one of the evaporators.
He was squatted down with his tools on the stone floor beside him, shirtless, with his muscular back to me.
He didn’t seem to realize I was there, and insulated in the large barn, he hadn’t heard Zehemoth land then fly away.
He tugged on one of the pipes before he wiped the sweat from his face with his forearm.
I continued to watch him work, watch him try to figure out something that probably didn’t exist four hundred years ago.
But then he stopped, still squatting on the ground, his head slightly turned as if he was straining to hear something. He seemed to look at the reflection in one of the large steel buckets beside him and realized someone was there.
He rose to his feet and quickly turned, the surprise in his reaction immediate. But that surprise quickly faded into an emotional intensity that he’d never worn before. His eyes shifted back and forth between mine as he took in the sight of me, like he couldn’t believe that I was real.
Six-and-a-half feet tall and with the strength of a mountain, he had the arms of a lumberjack and the chest of a general.
His tight stomach was strong like a beam of wood that supported a home.
His trousers were low on his hips but defined around his muscular thighs.
With the shine on his chest from the sweat caused by the heat, he couldn’t have looked more irresistible.
It made me forget what I’d come here to say.
He slowly walked over to me, his eyes still wary, like his proximity could spook me away like a lost dog.
But I stood my ground.
He stopped a respectable distance away from me, not making any assumptions about my visit.
“Um…we haven’t talked in a while.”
He continued to stare at me with an intensity that rivaled the sun at the height of summer. Continued to burn me with his gaze like his soul burned hotter than the forges of a blacksmith. He yearned visibly, like he would give anything to touch me.
“I just wanted you to know…I still need some time.”
He couldn’t hide his disappointment, a flash flood of despair passing across his gaze.
“But I still love you…too much not to fight.”
The second I finished my sentence, his eyes filled with tears he didn’t shed. He’d been stoic for most of our relationship, but now, he wore his heart on his sleeve in a way he never had before. He wasn’t afraid to show his emotions to me, afraid to cry for me.
“But I just need some time to…forgive you.”
He inhaled a deep breath, his eyes watering further.
He was the one who’d wronged me, but I felt like the traitor hammering nails into his heart. “I—I just wanted you to know that.”
He gave a slight nod. “You know I’d wait forever for you.”
I didn’t know what else to do but nod in return. Then I turned to step away, to let him get back to his work in the barn.
I half expected him to reach for me and hold me tight, but his trunk-like arms never came for me. I walked out of the barn and back into the sunlight, and I crossed the grass where Zehemoth had dropped me off.
I felt worse rather than better somehow, like I was afraid I might not be able to forgive him…no matter how hard I tried.