Chapter 11
PHAEDRA
Instead of researching until the wee hours, I headed to bed early last night to give them time alone to plan for the meeting with Caron. He’d sent coordinates for a location outside London, and the three of them were studying the surrounding area when I went upstairs.
Surprisingly, I slept well. Probably because I was in my bed instead of on the couch.
I peer out the window and see the first rays of sun streaking across the sky.
It’s so beautiful here. Sometimes I really wish I still had horses in the barn.
There’s nothing like a brisk ride at dawn to make you feel like the world is there for the conquering. Guess I’ll have to go with plan B.
I stretch and slide out of bed, then jump into the shower.
Taking my time this morning, I slather on the luxurious body wash I took from The Hari the last time I stayed there.
Bluebells and strawberries fill the air.
Mmm. Divine. After washing and conditioning my entire body, I dry and style my hair into silky locks with a slight curl before I slide into a pair of fitted jeans and a crop sweater.
The mocking voice in my head asks why I’m going to all this trouble, but it’s not for the usual reasons.
I mean, it is, but it’s more than that too.
Do I want to remind them of what they’re missing?
Absolutely. If this is war and the prize is a future with them, I’m going to use every tool in my arsenal.
I’m still going to do everything I can to find the panels and, hopefully, offer them a way home, but I’m also going to fight like hell for their forgiveness.
But also…I need this. To feel good and strong. Ready to take on the world. I’ve never been one to tiptoe through life, and I refuse to start now.
All three pairs of eyes widen when I stride into the kitchen thirty minutes later and take a seat at the island.
Gatlin leans in close, inhaling deeply, when he hands me a cup of coffee, and I hear him mutter under his breath about women and battles. I smirk. Smart man.
Jamison’s steel-blue eyes spark with heat as his intense gaze slides down my body, knuckles whitening on the handle of his cup.
Hawthorne shoves away from the island and strides out the door. “I’ll be in the study working.”
Satisfied with all three of their responses, I turn to Gatlin. “I’m starving. Is there any breakfast?”
“Of course,” he replies dryly. “Did you get some sleep?”
“Hmm, I did. You know, I never thanked you for carrying me to the couch every night,” I say with a wink. “I appreciate it. My neck thanks you too.”
Gatlin tilts his head in acknowledgement as he slides food onto a plate. “You needed rest.” He puts my breakfast down in front of me. “Eat.”
“Thank you,” I tell him, taking a bite. An idea pops into my head. “Although I have to admit, my bed felt so much better than the couch last night. Perhaps next time you find me asleep at my desk, you could carry me to bed?”
Gatlin narrows his eyes. Probably wondering what I’m up to. “If that’s what you want.”
Transparency, right? “That and you,” I reply in a husky tone, my invitation clear.
Jamison spits out the coffee he just drank and gives me an incredulous look. Handing his mug to Gatlin, he storms out of the kitchen.
Gatlin’s low chuckle makes my eyebrows rise in astonishment. “It’s about time you started fighting dirty. Finish your breakfast.” He grabs a towel to clean up the mess.
I laugh and devour the rest of my toast and eggs. After the last bite, he picks up my plate. This time when he leans down, he places his lips by my ear.
“Someday soon, I’m going to take you up on that offer,” he murmurs huskily into my ear.
Heat flares between us as I meet his gaze in astonishment.
Is he saying what I think he is? “But right now, you need to find Jamison and make him talk to you. He thinks too much, and the longer he thinks, the harder it is to reach him. You look ready for battle, and his anger will be your best bet to tap into his emotions, not his reasoning.”
“Thank you,” I tell him, placing a kiss on the edge of his strong jaw before I leave to find Jamison.
Surprisingly, he’s sitting on the porch, staring out across my land. One elegantly shod foot propped up on an ottoman.
“I’m sorry.” I figure an apology would be a great place to start. Maybe some honesty too. I take the seat across from him to give him space and look him in the eye.
He stiffens. “You can say whatever you want to Gatlin.” His blue eyes briefly meet mine before looking away.
For a long second, I stare at the side of his incredibly handsome face. Deflection is a tactic I recognize well.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my past. I’m sorry I hurt all of you,” I tell him. “I know you don’t believe me, but I’m trying to figure out how to fix it, whatever it takes.”
“The whole time. You knew what this would do to them. To us. Yet, you didn’t stop for one second to consider whether you should tell us, did you? Instead, you readily accepted things would be over when we found out.”
Ouch. The truth sucks. “I didn’t know how to tell you.
Or anyone, really. Thousands of supernaturals were pulled into this world because of me.
Over the years I’d hear them cursing my sister, believing it to be her fault.
It made me afraid to tell anyone. Then I came up with my grand plan to find the pieces of the vase and send everyone home, including my sister.
It was my sole focus. After that, telling the truth didn’t seem to matter. ”
The words reverberate in my head. Is that why the gods came up with this plan? They knew the vase was no longer a viable option, so they decided to create a new one? Do they want me to open the portals? But why? It doesn’t make sense.
“How could it not matter?” Jamison asks, his brow furrowed.
I switch back to the conversation. “I told myself the beginning didn’t matter, only the end.
” I shrug in response to his incredulous look.
“Over the years, I deliberately isolated myself. Did my penance. My future was the same day after day. In my mind, the only way it would change is if I found all the pieces, and I knew I was a long way from my goal.”
“And nothing changed when you met us,” he says bitterly.
“Everything changed when I met the four of you.” My eyes burn as my emotions rise, but I swallow hard and keep going.
“I warned you that I couldn’t tell you all my secrets.
But I couldn’t help myself. I tried to resist. Keep my distance.
But it didn’t work. The more I was around all of you, the more it felt like I fit, and the more I wanted to tell you.
Each one of you matches with a different piece of me, but all five of us together felt complete. ”
Angry, he leans forward. “Exactly. It’s why I’m so pissed at you. This was new to us—all of us interested in the same person. After all of these years together, we suddenly had a glimpse into a future we’d only secretly thought about, then you ripped it away.”
He stands, but I rise and grab his hand.
Staring up at him, I plead for him to understand.
“I didn’t know how deeply everyone felt.
I swear. And the truth is, I didn’t know how hard I would fall for all of you.
In three thousand years, I’ve never wanted more.
And it sounds stupid, but it didn’t occur to me that our relationship was the beginning of something greater. Not until it was over.”
Jamison stares at me for a long moment, then pulls his hand from mine and thrusts it through his hair. “I’m not sure we knew either,” he admits as he glances at his watch. “Damn. I’ve got to pack. If we don’t leave on time, we’ll miss our meeting. We’ll talk more when I return.”
“Wait,” I tell him, reaching into my pocket to hand him the list. “Gatlin said you had your own list of mages, but here’s the one I asked Charlie to compile. He knows a lot of the mages less visible to the council. Maybe it will help.”
“Thanks, I’ll take a look.” His gaze drops to my lips, but then he looks away. “Be damn careful with Hera, and do what Gatlin says.”
With those words, he’s gone. Not once does he look back. Twenty minutes later, the three of them walk out of the house.
Hawthorne’s eyes meet mine, and he tilts his head toward the house. “I think I found a solution for the pomegranate. Follow the instructions. If you like it, I’ll create another when I return.” He steps off the porch and strides down the steps.
Jamison gives him a thoughtful look, then dips his head at me. “Gatlin and I will keep in touch. He’ll let you know when we’re coming back.”
“Be safe,” I call out to them both.
After they leave, Gatlin comes over and offers me his hand. Confused, I take it, and he pulls me over to the couch to sit. In the short time he’s been here, it’s kind of become his spot.
“I know the last couple of days have been rough. Are you ready?”
With a long sigh, I shake my head and settle in close. “No, I still need to pack.”
His arm curls around my shoulders, and everything inside me wants to sink into him and the protectiveness he offers.
It’s not his strength. That’s only one aspect.
This man knows how to care for someone. I feel pampered like I haven’t felt in a long time.
A cool wind slides across me, and I snuggle into his massive body, letting his heat warm me.
He tilts my chin up and stares down at me, his golden gaze searching my eyes. “That’s not what I’m asking. The last thing I want is for you to confront Hera when you’re upset. Do we need to postpone?”
We. Damn. This man. I stare at his lips, wanting to kiss him, but unsure of how he’ll react.
I’ve been attracted to him since that night we spent at The Hari, but I can’t tell if he feels the same.
Sometimes I think he does, but I wonder whether I’m confusing his innate ability to care and protect with something more than friendship.
Although his earlier response gives me hope.
Then I recall my conversations with Hawthorne and Jamison.
Maybe I should wait until things are more settled.
“I’m never ready when it comes to the gods, but the last two days have made me more determined than ever to find the panels which means I…we…have to complete Hera’s quest,” I finally reply, turning my head away from temptation to lay it on his shoulder.
He glances at his watch, but I place my hand over it. “We have time. Packing will take five minutes. Right now, I want to sit here with you.”
He scoops me in tight and chuckles. “Hmm. Sounds good to me. You know, both Jamison and Mathias take forever to pack. I’ve never understood it. Clothes, necessities. Not much to it.”
Mathias. Another person I need to apologize to, but I’m not sure if there is an apology that big. My actions separated him from his daughter, an act I doubt he’ll forgive.
I turn to Gatlin. “Hmm. I’m sure you pack more than you think. What about weapons?”
His golden eyes are twinkling when he gives me a mock growl. “Watch it. You can never have enough weapons.”
“I’m sure Mathias feels that way about his computers,” I tease him, then bite my lip. “I’m worried about him. Has he reached out?”
His brow dips, and I see the same worry reflected in his eyes.
“Not yet. It’s early days, though. Vampires aren’t the most trusting, and they’ll be more suspicious of Mathias because he’s a member of our team.
But the one thing that works in his favor is his desire to go home and see his daughter.
He’s never been happy here, and they all know it.
They’ll believe he’s truly interested in joining them. It will just take time.”
Biting my lip, I say a little prayer to the goddess Soteria to keep him safe. But I’ll feel better when I can see him. Touch him. Assure myself he’s okay. Even if he doesn’t want to talk to me.
Gatlin waves a hand. “I like your home. This land. The wide-open spaces. Reminds me of a time when we could fly for hours with nothing but the earth beneath us. When we get back, I’d like to take you flying.” His voice is tentative, as if he’s not sure of my answer.
My stomach clenches, but I can’t tell if it’s excitement or terror. For him to offer, though… “I guess. It’s not as if I can die.”
He chuckles. “See, it’s all perspective.”
We sit for another hour, enjoying the evening, until it’s time for him to fix dinner and me to pack. As I go in, I stop by the study to see what Hawthorne left me.
On my desk is a note with a seed inside it.
Beside it is a large pot and a pitcher of water.
Following his instructions, I put the seed in the dirt and pour in the water.
A pomegranate tree immediately grows to four feet tall with fruit hanging from its branches.
I frown. It’s beautiful, but I thought we agreed a tree wasn’t spectacular enough.
I pick up his note again and read the rest of it.
This is a mini version, but I’ll create a full-size one for Hera’s temple.
The tree will never stop yielding fruit.
When one is picked, another will grow in its place.
People will come from all over to visit the tree and stand in awe.
They’ll believe this is her doing. She’ll gain new respect and, potentially, new followers.
—Hawthorne
In awe, I stare at it. This is amazing. It hits on so many levels.
There’s no way I would have been able to come up with this on my own.
Nor do I have the magic to do it. I reach out and pick fruit from the tree and watch as another sprouts.
Bringing it to my nose, I sniff and find a light scent.
Slightly fruity but also floral from the flowers that bloom on its branches. Hera’s going to love it.
I bite my lip. I can’t believe he did this for me. It must have taken a lot of magic. Does that mean he might forgive me?