6. James
6
JAMES
M y poker face was normally unbeatable, but this time?
This time I felt my jaw drop as the stranger on the balcony transformed into the woman I’d last seen in my bed.
Katie, or should I say Kaitlyn, looked completely different in the light of day. For one, she was wearing dramatically different glasses, and the hair that I’d twirled around my fingers and, oh my God, pulled , was up in a tidy twist. She was in slim black pants and a short sleeve drapey blue top that completely covered the body I’d kissed from her ankles to her… stop .
For a second, something warm and delighted spread through my chest.
And then my natural cynicism reared its ugly, necessary head.
There was no way this was a coincidence.
My face hardened. “What the hell kind of game are you playing at?”
“Game?” Kaitlyn’s eyes narrowed. “You hired me . You seduced me . I didn’t even know you owned Bloom.”
My mouth twisted in a sour, disbelieving expression. I’d thought it was so damn charming that she didn’t know who I was.
God, I’d been such a fool.
If this was another plan to hurt Harper…
My pulse was pounding, and the office had grown small around me.
“Um, James? I mean, Mr. Morris?” Her voice sounded tauntingly innocent.
“You seriously expect me to believe you didn’t research your future employer? You didn’t know who I was?” I asked, my voice as cold as my pulse was hot.
“I didn’t research you, I researched how to help your kid, you arrogant–” Kaitlin cut herself off. Then she took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, that was unprofessional. What I meant to say was, it’s natural if, based on your and your daughter’s history, you have trouble trusting new staff.”
I didn’t say anything.
“But I promise you, I didn’t know who you were that night at Bloom. I didn’t even know the name of the family I’d be working for until your assistant offered me the job,” she reminded me.
As I calmed down, I realized Kaitlin was right. If she hadn’t researched me ahead of time, then there was no real way she would have known who I was, unless she followed the society pages or club scene. And she obviously didn’t.
I, on the other hand, would have known who she was if I’d interviewed the final candidates for this position myself, instead of passing the job off to my assistant.
“This…uh, this is unexpected,” I finally managed.
She let out a harsh laugh, then clapped a hand over her mouth.
“You were right about me,” I said abruptly. “I find it hard to trust these days, especially when it comes to Harper’s safety.” I gestured to the chair in front of my desk. “Let’s try this again.”
Slowly, she sat in the chair I’d indicated, watching me warily.
I circled around the desk and took my seat opposite her.
To a stranger, she looked calm and professional. But we were slightly more than strangers.
I’d bet half my fortune that if I reached across the desk and grabbed her wrist, her pulse would be pounding under my fingertips. The same way it had when I’d rolled her under me and sunk my cock into her…
I corralled my thoughts.
I knew I should regret my night with her, especially since she was the best candidate to help Harper. But the truth was, the only thing I regretted about my time with Kaitlyn was how it had ended.
Don’t got there, I ordered myself. Starting now, Kaitlyn was just another employee.
She had to be. For Harper’s sake.
I drummed my fingers on the desk. “You’ve read Harper’s file, so you know how unexpected some of her panic attacks can be. The night we…the night you and I met, she had a nightmare about her former nanny, Emily, and nothing could calm her down but me.” The image of her little tear-stained face flitted through my head. “As you know, I’ve been without outside childcare since the episode with Emily, and I’ve been asking Vida and my family members to help out. I thought she was improving, moving past some of her fears.”
The other night had been a rude awakening that she wasn’t. Not really.
“I see,” Kaitlyn said softly, shuffling the folder she’d placed on the table in front of her.
“My priority will always be my daughter. And that’s why you’re here. Katie—Kaitlyn, you’re the very best option I’ve found to help her. Your qualifications are stellar,” I said bluntly. “I know there’s…awkwardness…between us, but I can assure you the only thing that matters to me is Harper feeling like herself again. We can forget that night and start over, as two people who want to help a special little girl.”
I felt like I was holding my breath as she weighed her options. Normally if someone I really wanted to hire turned me down, I just upped the salary until they caved. Unfortunately I had a feeling Kaitlyn was made of sterner stuff.
She tilted her head, thinking. “You said she was improving. Why? What’s changed?”
“It seemed like her nightmares were becoming less frequent,” I answered. “And she was getting bolder about being outside.”
Kaitlyn flipped open the folder then pulled a pen from her pocket. “So she’s left the property? Gone beyond the fence?”
“Well, no,” I answered slowly. “I meant that she’s more comfortable visiting the edges of our property line, places she’d been avoiding. Spots where she and Emily used to go, like down to the dock.”
“Okay, that’s great.” Kaitlyn nodded and bowed her head to write a few notes. It didn’t seem like the behavior of someone who was on their way out.
I felt a spark of hope.
“I saw in Harper’s file that her pediatrician suggested SSRIs,” she continued, flipping through the papers. “Have you started a medication protocol yet?”
My spark of hope died like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on it. I stiffened. “No—and I don’t intend to. I’m turning my daughter into a zombie just to make life easier for you.”
She finally looked up at me, her eyes unreadable. “I understand that medication feels like?—”
“Like a terrible idea,” I snapped. “I can’t believe I’m taking medical advice from a woman so na?ve she’d never had a one-night stand.”
She inhaled sharply, like she’d been slapped. Then she closed the folder and stood. “I don’t think this is going to work. I’ll send you a list of colleagues I can recommend instead.”
She turned to walk out the door.
Shit.
I shot to my feet, catching up to her in a few long strides. I caught her wrist without thinking. “Wait. That was out of line. Don’t walk away from Harper because of me. Please.”
She stared back at me, uncertainty flickering across her face.
Then she shook her head, and pulled her wrist from my grasp. “I’m doing this for Harper. You need a caretaker whose expert opinion you can genuinely trust. Because of our…past encounter… I know you don’t think highly of me. And you certainly don’t trust me.”
I scowled. “What are you talking about? I think highly of you.”
“You kicked me out of your bed. Because some other woman needed you.” She shook her head, disgusted, but if anything it seemed like the disgust was mostly for herself. “You didn’t even think highly enough to tell me you weren’t actually single.”
What the hell? I ran through that night, trying to see it from her perspective. Sure, I’d been abrupt, but I’d been very clear about only doing one-night stands.
I might be a selfish asshole with women, but I’d never cheat. Everyone I was with knew exactly what they were getting into.
I shook my head. “You misunderstood–”
“I heard you on the phone. You said Is she ok… oh.” Her eyes widened. And then they softened. “That call was about Harper wasn’t it?”
I took a deep breath. I’d hoped to brush past this, but apparently we were going to have to talk about it. I’d been rude and abrupt with Kaitlyn, and she’d assumed the worst.
She was right. We needed to be able to trust each other, at least a little, if we were going to work together to help Harper.
“She had a nightmare. A bad one,” I explained. “My sister was watching her while I was at work. She’d sent me a text before Harper went down for bed, saying they’d had a great day, and Harper was sleeping peacefully. But apparently she woke up screaming for me.” I made myself keep talking, even though I hated letting Kaitlyn see how I’d let my daughter down. “When she gets like that, she can’t calm down unless I’m there.”
Kaitlyn nodded slowly, processing that.
“I was abrupt with you, and I apologize for that,” I said. “When I know she needs me I…”
“You do everything you can to get there as fast as possible,” Kaitlyn finished.
Because of the one time I couldn’t get to her , I think.
“You know,” she said at last. “One of the reasons I bring up medication is because it can help with things like anxiety, and sleep. It’s a big step,” she said gently. “And I agree that we have a few more avenues to try before we have to seriously consider it. If we can get Harper where she needs to be with cognitive behavioral therapy and gradual exposure with positive reinforcement, then that would be my preference, too.”
She held my gaze without flinching, even though she knew she was saying something I didn’t want to hear. “But I think we need to consider medication as a possibility, if our other treatment options don’t provide her with some relief. Because that’s the heart of the issue. Harper is suffering right now. And I need you to trust that I have Harper’s best intentions at heart when I propose different treatment plans to help her get to a point where Harper feels okay.”
To hear her say it, to lay it out so plainly, was a knife to my heart. My beautiful little girl was in pain.
“You said ‘we,’” I stated as the realization hit me. “Does that mean you’re taking the position?”
Her mouth went into a tight line, all business. “You said exactly what I needed to hear. The focus is on Harper. I want to help her, and I’m confident I can. Let’s forget that night at Bloom happened and move forward.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Excellent. I appreciate your understanding.”
“Can we go over a few of my treatment plans? Then I’d like to meet her.” This time she was the one to gesture us over to the chairs.
We resumed our seats and I leaned forward, eager for her insights. As she outlined her treatment plans, there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel.
For the first time in a long time, I felt hope.
“Treatment protocols evolve based on the response to them, so there’s a chance I’ll have to rework some of this on the fly,” Kaitlyn said as she wrapped up her presentation. “But I’m nimble and willing to do whatever it takes to help Harper stabilize, and eventually find herself again.”
“Thank you. Impressive outline.”
I sounded official, maybe even grumpy, but what I felt was something more akin to admiration. Kaitlyn had looked out of place in Bloom. But here, talking about how best to help a child who needed her, she was in her element. I felt like I’d finally gotten the puzzle piece I’d been missing the night we met.
That should make her less fascinating to me.
Right?
I shoved any lingering thoughts of that night at Bloom out of mind. Despite what we’d agreed to, there was still a chance Kaitlyn could change her mind. We were employer and employee now, and even though I knew what she looked like under her business casual clothing, I had to keep all interactions with Kaitlyn completely professional.
I was not going to let my dick get in the way. Even if she was a hell of a lot more interesting now that I knew how brilliant she was.
“So where is Harper?” Kaitlyn asked, oblivious to the direction my thoughts had taken. “I’m excited to meet her.”
I pulled my phone out of my pocket. “Let me text Vida and find out what she’s up to.” I received an almost immediate response. “Looks like Harper’s in the kitchen again, giving my chef Bernardo a run for his money. He’s trying to prepare lunch, and she’s sweet talked him into letting her ‘help’ make cupcakes.”
Kaitlyn laughed and I realized that it was the first time I’d heard the sound since she’d arrived.
I hoped to hear more of it.
Because I wanted her to feel comfortable working for me. Not because the sound of her laugh settled over me like sunlight on the first day of spring. That had nothing to do with it at all.
“I’m guessing she runs the place?” Kaitlyn joked.
“You don’t even know,” I said. “Come on, let’s go down before I get called into another meeting.”
We headed down the hallway, and I paused outside the kitchen door. “Don’t be surprised if Harper’s standoffish at first. It takes a while for her to warm up to new people.”
Kaitlyn cocked her head at me, and I realized I was telling the professional I’d just hired about a part of her job she probably considered obvious.
Tough shit. She might know children in general, but I knew my kid. And I was going to err on the side of giving Kaitlyn all the information she could possibly need to help Harper.
We pushed into the kitchen and Harper squealed from her spot on top of the counter when she saw me. Bernardo glanced up from the cutting board where he was chopping berries and gave me a nod.
“Daddy, look what I’m making! Strawberry cupcakes!” She held up a spatula dripping with pink frosting.
“I bet they’ll be delicious,” I answered, beaming at my adorable daughter. “Can I eat one right now?”
“No, they’re not done. Bernardo said we have to wait until they’re cool to put the frosting on top.” She froze when she saw Kaitlyn standing beside me.
“Hi, Harper, my name is Kaitlyn.” She gave a little wave. “Nice to meet you!”
“Hi.”
I watched Harper to see how she was going to react to the stranger in the room. This was it, the first step in my daughter’s journey toward feeling whole again. I had no doubt Kaitlyn would know how to recover if the initial meeting didn’t go well, but my hope was that we’d start off on the right foot.
“I’ve never made strawberry cupcakes before,” Kaitlyn continued in a casual, familiar tone, like they were already old friends. I noticed she kept her distance, choosing to lean against the wall across from where Bernardo and Harper were working. “My favorite flavor is chocolate. Is strawberry your favorite?”
Harper shrugged and looked down at the bowl of frosting in front of her, and tension flooded through my body. This was her go-to reaction when she was stressed. Shutting down.
“Bernardo, it’s nice to meet you too,” Kaitlyn said in a cheerful voice. “What kind of berries are you chopping? They don’t look like strawberries to me.”
He seemed to understand what was going on, shooting a sideways glance at Harper. “You’re right, they’re not. We thought it would be fun to add a mix of berries on top of the frosting, so these are raspberries. Would you like to try one?”
I gave Bernardo a nod of thanks for going with the flow. I was lucky to have such good people surrounding my daughter.
“Thank you, I’d love to!” Kaitlyn said, still leaning against the wall. “Harper, is it okay if I eat one of those berries? You can tell me ‘no’ if you prefer not to share. It’s up to you.”
Harper finally looked up and nodded. She was going to let Kaitlyn get close to her.
Come on, baby girl , I thought, willing every bit of bravery I had toward Harper. You can do this .
Kaitlyn walked over to where they were working, choosing to stand on Bernardo’s side of the counter. “Hmm,” she said, peering at the berries. “Which one do you think I should pick?”
Something started boiling over on the stove and Bernardo turned to attend to it, leaving Kaitlyn and Harper alone. Harper looked up at Kaitlyn then silently pointed to a berry.
“That one? Okay.” Kaitlyn reached for it then paused, placing the raspberry on top of her pinkie like it was a little hat then holding it out toward Harper. “Silly, right?”
Harper smiled shyly, and I realized that Bernardo probably hadn’t let her play with the berries. He was always patient and gentle with her, but he was dead serious about food prep.
“You try,” Kaitlyn said, pushing the cutting board closer to Harper.
She took a berry and placed it on her pointer finger then giggled.
“It looks like a little person, right?” Kaitlyn said, laughing with her. “Like a little person in a big hat, going to a fancy party. I wonder what kind of party it is? What do you think?”
“Ummm…” Harper reached for another raspberry and put it on her middle finger. “A princess party?”
Her voice was soft, but the fact that she was engaging with Kaitlyn made me want to cheer. I took a step backward, hoping that Harper wouldn’t notice.
“That’s exactly what I was thinking!” Kaitlyn exclaimed. “Maybe a princess party for… fairies ?”
Harper’s eyes went wide. “Really?”
“Uh-huh. I bet all the woodland fairies go, and they all wear special hats. Let’s try to think of another kind of hat for the fairy party.”
“A blueberry hat?” Harper asked shyly.
“Yes, that would be perfect! Now it’s my turn to think of one.” Kaitlyn twisted her mouth and pretended to think hard. “I bet one of them would wear a little toadstool. Do you know what that is? The red mushroom with white dots on it?”
“Yes!” Harper said, nodding vigorously, pausing to eat the berries off her fingertips. “Aunt Jess reads me a book that has one. And there’s a rabbit in it too!”
“That sounds like a fun book. Maybe we can read it together some day?”
Harper was halfway off the counter before Kaitlyn had even finished speaking.
“I’ll go get it.” She ran past me and out of the room without a second glance.
After months of tension and heartache, the relief that flooded through my body felt like a hit of oxytocin.
“That went…better than I expected,” I managed. It was an epic understatement.
“She’s amazing,” Kaitlyn replied, still staring at the door Harper had just run through. “We’re off to a strong start.”
All I could do was nod in agreement. What she didn’t realize was that she’d gotten through to my daughter faster than anyone. I’d basically witnessed a miracle.
All thanks to Kaitlyn Thorn.