Chapter Fifteen
Lizards and Dogs
“You have no idea how happy I am that we’re finally getting some more estrogen around here. I tell you, Shy, you’re like a breath of fresh air for me.”
I smiled at Misty as I finished up my employment application and handed it over. It was easy to smile at Ride Or Die’s receptionist. For one thing, she was a straight-up blonde bombshell who no doubt had men falling for her in droves. For another, she was just about the friendliest person I’d ever met, giving me a big hug the moment Romeo introduced us. Apparently she was the girlfriend—or “old lady”—of a Gravedigger I hadn’t yet met, but as she familiarized me with the office, I heard all about her man Lasso, a cowboy from Montana who’d turned his back on his rural beginnings to live the ultimate urban dream in Chicago as a Gravedigger. His main claim to fame was that of a mechanic-slash-fabricator, and was the chief designer of the custom-made choppers there at Ride or Die. He’d made at least half the bikes in the business’s inventory, and was currently in Dubai designing a bunch of bikes for some sultan’s family for a price that would keep the company in the black for the next two years.
Needless to say, Misty was crazy proud of her man.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m treated like a queen since I’m Lasso’s old lady, something I make sure everyone around here understands,” Misty went on, rolling her perfectly made-up eyes at me before turning her back and pointing to the lettering on the leather vest she wore, which read “Property of Lasso.” “I mean, I kind of have to, since all these guys are uber-male and chase tail like it’s their mission in life, if you know what I mean. For the most part, though, everyone’s really great around here. Just make sure you advertise that you’re Romeo’s property, and you’ll be fine. Has he given you a cut or a jacket yet?”
“Um, no. Property?” The word slipped out before I could cork it up, then bit my lip. “Right. Sorry, I forgot. That’s how it is in this world. Women aren’t actual people. They’re things to own.”
“Oh, honey, no.” Misty’s bright expression dimmed, and I instantly felt like a jerk for bringing her down. “I know it seems that way at first, and I remember having that same gut reaction to the word property. But I’ve come to realize that it has nothing to do with looking down on women, or thinking we’re less than human. It has everything to do with the he-men around us who need to mark their territory to avoid constantly being at war with each other. That’s all.”
“I’m well aware of the ‘old lady’ lore of the biker world,” I assured her with all the confidence I didn’t feel, because whatever knowledge I had came from how Marvel had treated me, as well as a handful of movies. “I get it, really. I just don’t like it, because I’m also aware of the psychological effect of being referred to as something… I don’t know… lesser than. For instance, if a person is referred to as a dog, then on a subconscious level everyone starts to believe that’s exactly what that person is.”
“Shiloh, no.” With all her brightness now in full eclipse, Misty’s expression twisted into something like alarm. “You don’t really think Romeo sees you as a dog, do you?”
“No. I just don’t ever want that to happen.”
“Do you think I would ever want that to happen with me and Lasso?”
Uh-oh. “Oh. Um…”
“Let me tell you a little about myself, so that you’ll understand where I’m coming from. Before I met Lasso, I worked at a truck stop out on I-94, and it was an almost-daily nightmare. I had my ass pinched, thighs touched, boobs squeezed, and once when I went to clean the bathrooms I was jumped and almost raped. That’s when Lasso showed up, by the way,” she added with a crooked smile that still held the echo of pain and horror. “Back then I didn’t know what it was to feel protected, because I was the only child of a single mom who was a lot lizard.”
“A lot lizard?”
“She was a prostitute at that very same truck stop where I worked, and that’s what prostitutes at truck stops are called—lot lizards. You think it’s bad to be thought of as a dog? Try being a lizard, or the daughter of a lizard.”
I winced. I couldn’t help it. “Misty—”
“The only life lesson I ever learned from my mom—who never should have been a mother, I might add—was that women have no power, and our lot in life is to swallow whatever men heap on us because that’s how the world works. That’s my idea of living like a dog, Shiloh—helpless, unable to defend yourself or even have your voice heard. Lasso showed me what it was to be respected, like I was someone who was worthy of it. I’d never had respect, not even from my own mother, because she didn’t respect herself. I don’t think she even knew what respect was. My man respects and loves me. That’s why he protects me like I’m something precious. That’s what I am to him—precious. Just like you are to Romeo.”
“I don’t think I would mind being precious to Romeo,” I said slowly, struggling against the years-old walls I’d built around myself. Those walls had been necessary for my survival once I’d realized I was truly alone in the world, so trying to let anyone else in was borderline painful. “I don’t think I am, though.”
“You’re here, aren’t you? You’re under Romeo’s personal protection.”
“I guess so.” I frowned, thinking about it. “He did go out of his way to protect me, just like Lasso protected you, when I was attacked in the parking lot at work last week. Romeo was just suddenly there, my knight in shining armor, saving me from a lunatic who thought jumping women during a blizzard at midnight was a fun thing to do.”
“Whoa, that’s crazy,” Misty’s blue eyes rounded. “And Romeo just happened to be there?”
“Yep. I think he was hanging around to see that I got home safely because of the bad weather. Poor guy. He definitely got more than he bargained for.”
“But that’s exactly the point I’m trying to make,” Misty said, and her brightness came back with a vengeance. “Being thought of as a biker’s property might seem horrible to the outside world. But in this world—the world you’re in now—it means you’ve been chosen by a powerful gladiator of a man who knows what it is to be loyal, and you’re loved more than anything else in his life.”
My heart did a weird little somersault before reality set in. Romeo didn’t love me. He’d originally set his sights on me to get to my brother, but since I didn’t want to see Misty’s light go out again I kept that fact to myself. “It sounds like you and Lasso have a great relationship.”
“Oh, my man is the best.” She fairly glowed as she said it, and she looked toward the ceiling as if thanking heaven for the extraordinary gift that was Lasso. “Most of these guys have that Nomadic gene, you know? Don’t fence me in, and all that. But Lasso says the moment he met me, he knew it was time to settle down, sink some roots and make some babies. We’ve got two sons, a dog and two cats, and we live in the suburbs about twenty minutes from here, can you believe it? Who knew that the daughter of a lot lizard would ever find herself living the American dream?”
“I’m so happy for you, Misty,” I said softly, meaning every word. I reached out a hand to her before I knew I was going to do it, then smiled when she latched onto it and gave it a happy squeeze. “And just so you know, you’re so much more than a daughter of a lot lizard. You’re resilient and determined and hopeful, and all things awesome in this world. I hope you recognize those parts of yourself, and not just the part of where you came from.”
“Oh, honey. I’m going to love having you around.” With a tinkling little laugh she bounced to her feet and gave me a big hug before pulling away, smiling brightly. “Let me show you around and get you situated. Your office and mine are connected, so thankfully we won’t have to run across the building to connect with each other if there’s a problem.”
For the next hour we went over where all the basics were located, from the bathroom to the supply closet to the printer, before Misty walked me through their billing and payroll system. It was pretty straightforward and not nearly as intimidating as I’d feared it would be, so I began to relax as the morning rolled by. There was a virtual stack of invoices that needed to be emailed to clients and nearly a dozen emails requesting custom bikes from various fabricators—most of the requests asking for Lasso, I was happy to tell Misty. In short, basic office stuff that was the heartbeat of any business. It was different enough from my old job to keep me hopping, while still similar enough when it came to keeping clientele happy that my new-job jitters were soothed. When it was finally time to break for lunch, I began to think working at Ride Or Die Choppers wasn’t going to be the total disaster I had imagined.
“Do you have plans for lunch?” Misty appeared in the doorway, shrugging into her coat. “Lasso’s sister is swinging by to pick me up so we can hit that new fancy-pants tearoom in The Loop. If you don’t have any plans with Romeo, you can tag along with us.”
“I’d be willing to bet Romeo’s got something in mind, but thanks for the invitation.” I smiled while plucking my phone out of my purse. “And I’ll definitely take a raincheck, if I can bring along a friend from where I used to work.” No way was I going to lose touch with Heather now that I was out of Buzzby’s.
“Ooh, the more the merrier. Let’s plan for some time next week, okay? See you in a bit.” With a cheery wave, Misty took off while I opened the text app and hit Romeo’s name.
“Hey, you. I’m hungry and have no vehicle. What do you think I should do about this?”
It took less than a minute for a reply. “I think I should come pick you up so we can go out to eat, and maybe even make a meal of each other. See you in five.”
A hot thrill went through me, and I sent a trio of throbbing heart emojis before gathering my things and heading out into the showroom. Unsure whether I needed to let my new boss know that I was going to lunch, I decided it was better to be safe than sorry and headed back to Tyr’s office. Thankfully the door was open, so I knocked on the doorjamb to announce my presence, as Tyr was chatting with a fellow Gravedigger, a mountain of a man with a mess of wild black hair starting to go gray, and a beer gut that pooched out well past his open Gravediggers cut.
“I’m headed out to lunch,” I informed my new boss, offering a polite nod to the mountain-sized Gravedigger who was sporting a set of spectacular raccoon eyes from a clearly broken nose. Such was the life of a biker. “All invoices are up-to-date, at least as far as I can tell, and I’ve emailed you a request confirming the payroll that I’m seeing currently on record. Is there anything else you need me to do before I go to lunch?”
“You,” the mountainous Gravedigger said unexpectedly, staring goggle-eyed at me and pointing a stubby finger in my direction. Automatically I glanced behind me to make sure he wasn’t pointing at anyone else. “What the hell are you doing here?”
I stared. I’d never seen this man before in my life. “Sorry?”
Tyr rose from his desk chair like it was on fire. “Ashtray—”
“You shouldn’t be here,” the man named Ashtray announced hotly before turning his ire on Tyr. “Why the hell is she here? She isn’t working here now, is she? Or is this some kind of joke you’re playing on me? Because it’s not funny, dude. Not fucking funny at all.”
What the hell. “Excuse me, what—”
“Cool your jets, Ash, this situation has nothing to do with you,” Tyr said, talking over me in a way that made me think he hadn’t even heard me. “Romeo brought his woman in because Hades decided to close in on her yesterday. That action earned Marvel the beatdown we were just talking about. We’re battening down the hatches and calling for a region-wide church meeting. Part of the process of battening shit down is making sure we’ve got Chef’s sister squared away. Until further notice, she’s working here because we’re desperate for the help, and because there’s no way anyone would even think about touching her while under my roof. So take a breath and shut your mouth, yeah?”
“Dude, she busted my nose like a fucking professional MMA fighter,” Ashtray said, obviously ignoring Tyr’s order to shut up and shocking me to my core. “Yet here she is, looking like she doesn’t even weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet. Oh Jesus, does everyone know she’s the one who fucked up my nose?” he suddenly gasped, complete with a pearl-clutch. “Oh shit, man, I’ll never be able to live this down.”
I actually felt my jaw drop. “What? I didn’t—”
“Don’t play the innocent little victim card with me, lady.” Clearly furious, Ashtray rounded on me, looming over me like a grizzly standing on its hind legs. “You’re scarier than half the brothers I know. Where’d you learn to throw elbows like that? Some super-charged Krav-Maga class you took? Are you like a black belt or something and nobody told me about it? Because I swear to Christ, I never would’ve agreed to come near you if I’d known you were a trained ninja.”
It only took a heartbeat for his words to lock into place.
Throw elbows.
Fucked up my nose.
Never would’ve agreed to come near you.
I’d only thrown elbows at one person in recent days, and I’d done it out of sheer terror. The night of the blizzard when I’d been attacked, the night I’d finally given Romeo a chance, because he’d saved my life.
Or so I’d thought.
Never would’ve agreed…
Agreed.
The attack on me had been an agreement.
A setup.
Romeo set me up.
Goddamn it.
“You got what you deserved.” The words were out of my mouth to stain the air, and when both the man who’d been sent to attack me and my new boss blinked, I bared my teeth in grim satisfaction. “Come at me again and I’ll make you wish you’d never been born.”
“There. You see? See that look on her face?” Triumphant, the brain-trust known as Ashtray turned to Tyr. “That’s the stone-cold killer I had to deal with last week, Tyr. She might look all sweet and innocent in the light of day, but she’s really fucking Rambo in disguise. It’s no wonder she got the jump on me. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was actually a trained commando in disguise.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Ash, shut up,” Tyr snapped, looking ready to strangle the other man. “I don’t want to hear another word out of you. And you,” he added, turning the full brunt of his glare on me, when I hadn’t done a damn thing except defend myself. “No one on my side of the fence is coming at you, you hear me? But you sure as hell are in the sights of Hades and his crew, especially after Marvel’s beatdown. It’s clear they wanted to start something by trying to take you hostage, and Romeo responded to their aggression by giving Marvel what he deserved. But because you haven’t officially been claimed by Romeo, Hades won’t see it as a leveling of the scales. Beating up his useless mouth-breather of a son embarrassed the head of the Chicago Gravediggers, so Hades is going to retaliate. Believe me, you’re safer here with us than you are on your own.”
“I think I’ll be safest when I’m as far away from all of you as I can get.” With the stark realization that I was surrounded on all sides by men who had no problem attacking me, I turned on my heel and took one step toward the open doorway before crashing to a halt, my eyes locking with Romeo’s.