13. Chapter Thirteen
T he sound of the alarm on my phone wakes me up from a deep sleep. I groan as I smack at my phone trying to turn off the ear piercing noise.
After going inside having said goodnight to Dacre last night, the overwhelming fatigue finally set in and I crashed the minute my head hit the pillow.
Going through a tidal wave of emotions and realisations these past few weeks has made me incredibly tired. Normally I can survive on an easy six hours sleep, but I’m now exhausted from the moment I wake.
I blink my eyes open begrudgingly. The memories of last night filter in painstakingly. I allow myself a moment to process them, something I haven’t done whatsoever; but this is something I need to do.
Each interaction I look back on makes me furious. Those memories of our time at the beach, wandering hands across sweaty skin and whispered promises, all shattered. I shake myself at how naive I was. How could I possibly believe they were everything I had hoped for? Why am I allowing myself to be broken by men that didn’t give me a second thought. Dacre believes there is a good reason for what they did? What could be worth it? A moment of remembrance flickers in my mind of Dacre telling me that the club was in a mess when they got home but my brain doesn’t allow myself to focus on it. At least not right now. There's too much pain and heartache to focus on anything at all. Why turn your back on someone all just to be ecstatic when you see them again? Well, apart from Dawson that is. It makes me question what is real and what's fake? Who do I believe?
Was our time together all just a lie?
Banging from the other side of the door startles me out of my thoughts. The noise rattles my brain. Groaning, I roll over and bury my head into my pillow wishing for just a moment of peace.
“Go away.” My voice is muffled but I don’t care.
“Up and at ‘em sunshine. It’s a new day, the sun is shining and it's time to get ready for school.”
“Ugh, why did I ever think a twin brother would be a good idea.”
Nothing would have prepared me for the weight of Rhodes jumping onto me and squishing me. I don’t know when he managed to slip through the door when I’m sure I locked it last night.
“What was that? You like being annoyed by your baby brother?”
Rhodes launches straight into a tickle attack. A laugh is ripped straight from me as he keeps me pinned to the bed. His attack is relentless. I feel like I can’t breathe. No amount of kicking around and pleas to stop make him quit.
“Stop. Stop, please.” I beg in between spouts of laughter.
“Say ‘Rhodes is the greatest and best brother in the world and I love him so much’.”
“Rhodes… is the….greatest….. and omg… RHODES!” I stutter.
“Keep going. I can’t stop until you say it all.”
“Best brother… in the world and… I love him… so much.” I finish. “Now get off me, I can’t breathe.” Rhodes finally ceases his tickle attack and gets up off the bed, giving me the chance to breathe.
I roll over, finding Rhodes staring back down at me grinning like a Cheshire cat.
“How can you be so energetic at this time of the morning?”
“Come on Scar, it's your first day at school. You are finally back home. What is there to not be excited about?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it's the whole school part?” I grimace. “I wasn’t too far off graduating back in Australia, now I have to start senior year all over again. Kill. Me. Now.” I think that has been the worst part about moving over here. I will almost be twenty by the time I graduate. What the fuck is that?
“Come on, you are going to love it,” he says, nudging me so he is able to flop down on the bed beside me. He rolls onto his side and rests his head on his hand like he's ready to gossip, “Remember what I explained to you. The Birds run the school. You will be fine. Plus you have the inevitable training sessions to look forward to.”
I roll my eyes, slamming my head back into my pillow again.
No matter how in depth Dad and Rhodes explain all of this stuff to me, it almost feels like a movie. Like someone sitting behind a computer screen is just thinking up the most insane and impractical shit and just writing a story about it. What twists and turns are going to happen next? Which of your favourite characters will be the one that gets killed? You will betray who? Authors are fucking sick and twisted. But God, do they write some entertaining shit. Not to mention some of the smut that Grace has forced upon me. Ten out of ten.
“I know you might not be ready to talk about it, but I need to ask.” Rhodes trails off and sighs. I can already tell where this conversation is going to go and he is right, I don’t want to talk about it. But there is no time like the present, I guess. “What the fuck happened last night?”
I take a deep breath before I begin to answer, knowing I need as much time as possible to process it all myself.
“To be honest, I don’t actually know,” I sigh before sitting up and brushing the stray hair around my face away with my hands. Rhodes sits up beside me and crosses his legs, waiting for me to continue.
“You obviously remember what I told you about those guys from America that I met back in Australia?” I wait for him to nod, when he does, I keep going, “Well, things started off really great. I met them on the night of my, well our eighteenth birthday. From the first moment, we had this connection. It was electric. It felt like it moved fast but it also felt right. Like we were meant to meet when and how we did. To form this kind of soul connection. I showed them around a bit and we just hung out. Got to know each other on a deep level. Feelings started to form from my side but I always knew that their time with me had an expiry date.
“It may have seemed strange and greedy to a lot of people to have five people that you are romantically interested in, but for me at least, nothing had ever felt more right.”
“So, what happened then?” Rhodes asks, his hands twitch in his lap like he doesn’t know what to do with them. Trying to prepare himself to be royally pissed off like I know he would be. I’ve told him snippets of what happened but could never go into detail. Until now, I suppose.
“We all promised to stay in contact just before they left. Promises of facetime calls, me potentially coming over, them even potentially coming back over. But I never heard from them once they landed. It's like they never existed. All of my calls and texts went unanswered. I couldn’t find them on social media. I was completely ghosted.”
“Fucking assholes,” he seethes. I hum in response.
“Then last night,” I blow out a breath, “Fuck, I don’t even know what that was. They never spoke much about what their home life was like and I never questioned them obviously.”
I go quiet, allowing my head to fall back and look at the ceiling.
“I never expected to be lied to and betrayed as much as I have.”
Rhodes grunts in response. When I look up at him, stone cold fury radiates off him in waves.
“It's okay, Rhodes. I’m fine.” I'm not fine and it’s not okay but it’s not like it wouldn’t be the first lie told.
“No fuck that Scarlett! I refuse to sit around like some incapable idiot while those assholes are just getting away with breaking your heart,” he says launching up from my bed. He proceeds to wear lines in my carpet as he walks back and forwards like he’s trying to come up with a plan.
I groan, “Let me handle it please, Rhodes.”
He halts as he turns to me, fury dark on his face.
“I don’t think I can do that, Scar. I just got you back. I thought I lost you forever. It's my job to protect you.” His hands fist in his hair, “I can’t allow you to be hurt. Not in any form. ”
“Heartbreak happens Rhodes. It’s not something that you can necessarily protect me from. But, you can be here for me. Have my back. Be a shoulder when I need you to be.”
He nods his head as he processes my words.
“Okay, I can do that.” He smiles down at me as his anger slowly dissipates. “Right, well now that’s settled, get up,” he says, grabbing my arms and trying to pull me up. He lets me go and I flop back down onto my bed. “You now have 20 minutes before we need to leave.”
“You could have started with that, you know,” I retort, throwing a pillow at his retreating back.
I rush around my room quickly throwing on what according to my father is required by Rydell Prep to wear. The vision of the American high school with lockers, a cafeteria and the freedom to wear what you like quickly diminishes before my eyes. Instead of ripped jeans and a band tee, I have to settle for a white collared blouse and a black and white tartan pleated skirt, then finishing off the look with a black blazer; the school’s emblem on the left pocket.
I think the provided shoes might just be the bane of my existence: chunky heeled Mary Janes. I don’t know what kind of misogynistic fuck decided heels were appropriate for school girls but I would gladly shove the heel up their ass. Give me flats any day of the week. At least the school got one thing right with the colours. None of that horrendous green some of those poor kids are forced into wearing.
I part my hair down the middle and braid both sides, really embracing that school girl look. Throwing on a quick but simple amount of makeup, I grab my bag and race down the stairs.
Mum, Dad and Rhodes are all sitting in the kitchen when I wander in.
“I need coffee. Pronto,” I grunt.
“Here you go madame. One full strength cappuccino, two sugars just the way you like,” Rhodes says, passing me a cup of liquid gold. I smirk at his ridiculous attempt at a posh English accent.
“I knew I loved you for a reason.” I say, thanking him anyways.
“Are you ready for your first day, Scar?” My father queries while looking nothing like the president of the Thunderbirds that he is meant to be. He looks like he just rolled out of bed with his hair in a mess on his head. A pair of glasses sit low on his nose while he holds a newspaper in his hands. He is still wearing his pyjamas, something I wish I could be doing instead of wearing my uniform. His trackies are a navy blue while his shirt makes me snort. It's old and looks like it's been worn a million times but reads, ‘I keep all of my Dad jokes in a Dad-a-base.’
Over the last few weeks, I’ve come to learn that the seemingly scary president of the Thunderbirds is actually just a typical Dad at heart. I have heard enough ridiculous Dad jokes to last me a last time. It seems his version of humour isn’t limited to just verbal. While I am slowly warming up to the idea of him, it's hard to just let go of the grudge I’m holding so tightly to my chest.
“I think so. Dacre said he would be picking me up this morning for my first day.”
My father just grunts in reply.
“What?” I question as I take a sip of my coffee.
“I’m not fucking happy with those boys, Scar.”
“You and me both,” I grunt. No matter how excited I feel that I don’t have to put out a missing person’s report or do some wicked social media stalking just to find them, what the boys did just can’t be forgotten that easily. No matter how much I wish it could. How much easier it would be. But that anger? It won’t dissipate. Nor will I let it. I need an explanation, a good one at that.
“Rhodes gave me the long story short as well as a couple of the senior members that were hanging around Pinks’. No one on this fucking planet will dare hurt my baby girl again and those little fucking boys are going to learn that the hard way.”
I sigh a breath, lifting up my cup of coffee before draining a bit more of it, “I understand that, and I agree. I won’t be forgiving them quickly. But in saying that, Dacre at least made an effort to explain a little. There are still a lot of gaps missing and they will be getting their balls busted. I won’t just forgive and forget.”
He chuckles, putting down his newspaper and taking his glasses off. He looks up at me with a massive smile on his face. “That’s my girl.”
A knock sounds at the door and as Rhodes goes to answer it. I quickly down my coffee and grab a granola bar from the pantry knowing I will need some form of sustenance. Thanks to my darling brother and his need to gossip so early in the morning, anything more than a grab and go just isn’t achievable.
“Well, when you speak of the devil, he shall appear,” Rhodes snarls, walking in with a Dacre that has a slightly concerned look on his face.
He looks straight at my father, greeting him first. “Morning Prez.”
It's obvious just how much respect Dacre has for him. He gives him a small nod in greeting but stays silent. There’s a deadly look in his eyes and for the first time, the stories that Rhodes has told me finally make sense. If a lesser man was on the end of that glare, I am sure they would piss themselves. The saying ‘If looks could kill’ is somewhat accurate in this instance. Because that is exactly what he looks like now. Ready to kill someone. Lord give me strength.
Dacre quickly turns his head towards Mum.
“Mrs Crux. It's so good to see you again.”
“Thank you, Dear. You’ve grown into such a handsome young man. How is Shelly?” Mum asks.
“She is great. She is over the moon that you and Scarlett are alive and here. She couldn’t shut up last night when I got home.” He smiles that devastating smile of his. Fuck, it's going to be hard to stay mad at them but I know my resolve won’t fail.
“I’ll go down to Pinks’ and see her. It's been hard not having her all of these years.” Mum turns to me as she nods towards Dacre, a smile on her face. “Dacre’s Mum, Shelly, and I were inseparable from the day we met each other.” Her smile drops and a haunted look overcomes her face as she takes a deep breath. “We were caged side by side. If it wasn’t for her strength, I wouldn’t have gotten through it.”
Dacre nods, looking solemn.
“She would really love that, Mrs Crux.”
“Please Dacre, it's Bonnie,” Mum says as the smile returns to her face.
Dacre then turns to me. His face completely lights up as he takes in my uniform. He doesn’t hesitate from closing the distance between us and pulling me into his arms. My arms hang beside me for a moment. I can feel Dacre deflate in disappointment. I don’t push him away though and I don’t really know why. I know I probably should but I can’t. Just not yet. Maybe in a moment.
“Morning Star,” he whispers in my ear. A chill runs over my body. Yeah, fucking fuck. This is going to be so much harder than I thought.
“Morning,” I reply, unable to use my normal nickname for him. I notice again the new nickname he has for me. That same shiver that went through my body also replicates in his. He lets a breath go, like he has been holding it all night. Knowing that I affect him just as much as he does me, sends a strange ping straight to my heart.
He eventually pulls away from me but doesn’t step back too far.
“Are you ready for your first day?” Dacre asks. I give him a small, sharp nod in reply. I attempt to put on a confident front when in reality, as the morning has gotten on, I’ve become increasingly nervous. These people all know the old me, yet I don’t. The old me would already know who to stay away from, who is an ally and who is the enemy. The new me has no fucking idea and just has to trust in everyone else around me.
“Come on then, let’s go.”
I quickly say goodbye to both Mum and my father. Mum gives me wishes of good luck with the latter giving me a proud look and whispering, “Give them hell baby girl.”
I turn to Rhodes who gives me a quick hug.
“I’ll meet you there, Scar.” He turns and steps right into Dacre’s face. My brother’s features turn cold and the threat of ‘fuck around and find out’ radiates from him, mirroring our dad’s look from before. He shoves his finger into Dacre’s chest. I go to step forward but Dacre puts up a hand stopping me. “If my sister gets hurt while in your care, I will fucking gut you,” Rhodes snarls in his face.
“I’ll let you.”
“That goes for those other little fuckwits too.”
“I’ll make sure they are aware.” That same respectful demeanour from earlier when faced with Dad is back and firmly in place. When Rhodes said he would be an overprotective brother, he really wasn’t kidding. Not that I’m complaining one bit. I may be tolerating Dacre right now but that sure as shit doesn’t mean that he is even close to being forgiven.
Dacre and I head out the side door and, instead of a car, I see the same green Kawasaki that I saw in the group yesterday.
“Holy fuck Dacre! Is she yours?” I ask rushing over to the bike and begin looking it over. My hand trails over the seat of the bike, rubbing it like it's a precious gem.
“Yeah it is. I was going to bring my car but I remembered how much fun we had riding those bikes on the beach and thought you’d prefer to take the bike instead.”
“You would be right. God, I’m obsessed,” I replied with hearts in my eyes. Seeing this bike up close is even better than I originally expected.
During my thorough examination of the bike, I swear I hear Dacre mumble under his breath.
“I’m obsessed with you.”
“Huh?” I ask. There is a slight blush to his cheeks as he combs his fingers through his hair .
He clears his throat quickly. “Ahh. Nothing. We should get going. We don’t want to be late and I’m not too keen on seeing what your Dad and brother would do if you are.”
I laugh, “You are probably right.”
Dacre eyes me for a moment longer but quickly shakes himself out of it and jumps on the back of the bike, handing me the second helmet.
I swing my leg over the back of the bike, excitement filling me even if I’m just on the back as a passenger. I slide my hands around Dacre’s waist. I don’t fail to miss the little shiver he gives as I tighten my grip.
The rumble of the bike starting gives me an all too familiar giddy feeling. I didn’t get to enjoy my hasty getaway from Pinks’ yesterday, too caught up in my thoughts.
But as the bike launches down the driveway, I allow myself to soak up the freedom that comes with being on the back of a bike.