Chapter 14
Kaelee
Now that they were alone again, Kaelee was struggling to remember that Greta was her editor, not the gorgeous woman she’d exhausted the night before.
She’d managed fine during the meeting, but being alone with Greta complicated things.
They made it to Central Park in comfortable-ish silence, but Kaelee had to resist the urge to put her arm around Greta.
It wasn’t as if they had walked around all couple-y in the past, but being aware that she couldn’t touch Greta was doing something to Kaelee’s impulsivity.
“I wish we’d had a chance to use your remote control toy before we discovered this,” Kaelee said as they walked along a path inside the park.
“Damn it, Lee. You can’t say things like that. Not now.” Greta’s cheeks were bright red.
“Kaelee. Not Lee.”
“Right. Using your correct name ought to help, right?” Greta smiled tightly. “As I said, I suggested to Emily that your next book be with Ian. Perhaps that would be for the best.”
“So you don’t love the book as much as you said?”
“Now who has a praise kink,” Greta muttered.
Before Kaelee could reply, Greta shook her finger at Kaelee and added, “As I’ve said several times, I love the book.
I offered a preempt. I’m putting my name, my currently very well regarded reputation for finding hits because of Toni’s book, on the line by saying that I wanted it enough to pay high and fast so I could have the privilege of editing it. ”
“You don’t need to say—”
“I wasn’t finished. The characters are raw and damaged, and the setting is rich in history. I can tell you have advanced studies there, Kaelee.” Greta walked faster and faster as she spoke, as if her agitation powered her feet in some way. “Your prose is polished without reading as pretentious.”
“Then why would you give it to someone else to edit?” Kaelee stared at her, frowning. That was a lot of praise to support tossing her away to another editor, even though Ian had seemed like a great guy.
“Because even as good as it is, I like you more. I don’t see how I’m to do this right now. Fuck. I was planning on finally getting my mouth on you. Third night, Kaelee. And now…” Greta flung up her hand as if she had just tossed something in the air.
“You’re really fucking hot when you’re pissed off.”
“No. That’s the problem.” Greta rubbed her eyes with a thumb and index finger like she was pinching her stress away. “I cannot be hot and be your editor, Kaelee. One or the other, not both.”
Kaelee winced at the edge in Greta’s voice. “Sorry.”
“This is my career. You can go to another editor, but if people thought I fucked you to get your book … If they thought this was some #MeToo thing…” Greta paused and took a deep breath. “I worked my ass off for this career. I can’t screw it up. I sacrificed everything for this.”
Kaelee felt guilty. “We were both blindsided.”
“Yes,” Greta grumbled. “And I have to figure out how to be sure you’re taken care of—which switching to Ian would do—and that my reputation is safe.”
“I have no intention of telling anyone.” Kaelee caught her hand. “I can keep secrets.”
“I hate this.” Greta pulled her hand free. She weaved and shoved her way through a small crowd.
Kaelee stayed close enough to be in the wake of her charge.
When they managed to get farther away from the small swarm of people, Kaelee pulled Greta into the grass and away from the path.
A few people were enjoying the unseasonably warm fall air on a blanket with what appeared to be an actual picnic basket at their side.
“I’m not going to ruin your career,” Kaelee promised in a low voice even though no one was near enough to hear them. “I give you my word. You did nothing wrong. Lots of people use apps to hook up, and you had no idea—”
“I have an email exchange asking you for an author photo.” Greta rubbed her eyes again. “This would be so awf—”
“You do have that exchange, and I didn’t send one yet.
You didn’t know what I looked like. You had no idea I was your author when we connected.
” Kaelee reached out as if to take Greta’s hands, but she stopped so her hands were outstretched but not touching Greta.
“I give you my word, as your new friend, that I will not let the two nights we spent become public or damage your reputation. You can trust me; I swear it.”
Greta nodded. “In case it’s not blazingly obvious, I have a few trust issues.”
Kaelee smiled. “Same.”
“My fiancée, Tasha, hated my job,” Greta continued.
“She hated that it had occasional evening or weekend requirements. She hated how often I checked my messages or when I stayed up reading so I could find the hot new book. It wasn’t like she couldn’t watch a game or movie next to me while I read, but she felt rejected. ”
“And?” Kaelee wanted to know. Honestly, she wanted to know everything about Greta.
Greta sighed. “And Tash started fucking around with both men and women. She was never really sure what she wanted, and that’s okay.
Not knowing is fine, but she claimed she knew.
She claimed I was what she wanted, that we were forever, that we ought to have already been married, that I was the problem.
She wanted me to find a new career. I said no.
” Greta let out a pained laugh. “Then she started fucking people, all while she accused me of cheating. My late nights at the office or lunches with agents made her angry. Normal editor things were an issue for her. She started suggesting I was sleeping around. I wasn’t; I swear it.
Even after I realized she was out with other people, I was still faithful.
I was a fool. So I joined the Sappho’s Kiss Society, and I decided that was enough. ”
“Was it?”
“Until I met you.” Greta stared at her. “You make me want to try dating again, Kaelee. I want days like yesterday. Lunch half naked, talking about shows or books, afternoon sex. I want to laugh and feel like we are working together. I like being able to get you comfortable enough to give me a little of your tightly held control.”
“I like all of that, too.” Kaelee felt like she might start crying. “We can have all of it but the sex, though. Friends do a lot of that. Maybe it’s even better that—”
“Liar. The sex is still part of what I want, and you can’t tell me you don’t feel the same.”
“I liked the ‘friends with benefits’ idea,” Kaelee said levelly.
“You’re the whole damn package.” Greta sniffled.
“I would like to hug you,” Kaelee whispered. “Friends hug, right?” She opened her arms in invitation. “That’s not a big deal.”
Greta shook her head. “I don’t hug. I barely even talk to anyone socially. I feel like I fucked everything up. My trust issues led to the app, led to fucking my author. How?”
“The app is designed for people with trust issues.”
“Fair.” Greta looked more and more like she was about to cry, and Kaelee couldn’t deal with that kind of vulnerability.
This feels too real already.
Kaelee’s panic twisted up inside her until she blurted out, “My father announced my engagement in the society page, although I hadn’t been dating my supposed fiancé.
I thought—I think he’s a raging hemorrhoid.
” Kaelee caught Greta’s gaze, grateful that no one seemed to be paying any attention to them as they stood having a far too emotional conversation.
“I never agreed to marry him or … do anything with him.”
Kaelee didn’t typically say the words to define what had happened. They were too heavy. Too dark. Too likely to result in her being called a victim. Today, she made an exception.
“My father handed me over to him like it was the Middle fucking Ages, and his rising star in the company had paid a sheep and a few chickens for the right to my body.” Kaelee heard the rage she rarely admitted to still having. “We all have skeletons, Greta. We don’t need to dance with them.”
Greta stared at her, swiped at her now-wet cheeks, and said, “Fucking writers knowing the right words. How am I not to like you?”
“Your fucking writer, Greta. It’s okay to like me a little. We’re friends now, right?”
“This was not the plan I had for tonight.”
“Same.” Kaelee weighed the impossibility of suggesting one last night. “So what if we—”
“No. Damn it. I cannot. You cannot.” Greta made a frustrated sound. “Please don’t finish that thought. I can see the way your body shifts when you’re … thinking about sex.”
“Really?”
“I’m observant, Kaelee,” Greta said dryly. “But you need to work with me to keep the innuendo and bad ideas to yourself. I can’t be the only one trying to figure this thing out. We are banned from even talking about it, or I need to stay completely away from you. Okay?”
Guilt rose up like a hand choking Kaelee, and she nodded. “I’ll do better. I swear it. We can be friends, and that’s more than I usually offer people.” Kaelee motioned her forward. “Let’s take a walk in Central Park, and then I’m going to get my bag and catch the Acela back home.”
“You’re leaving tonight? That’s not going to leave time for a very long walk or dinner. The last train is eight or nine at night,” Greta started.
Kaelee motioned her forward. “It’ll take a little time for me to be around you without testing your boundaries, Greta.
An hour-long walk might be the longest we should do this.
We can figure out how to be friends. I’m sure of that, but I can’t turn myself into someone casual with you quite that quickly. ”
“Why?”
“Don’t ask me questions like that. I’m trying to follow your rules.” Kaelee swerved around a couple taking pictures of pretty much everything.
“I’m asking.” Greta caught her arm. “Say it. Admit that it’s not just sex we were sharing.”