Chapter 17 #2
“I don’t think you do. She called me in the middle of the night and told me you needed me. She risked her career to do that. She put herself on the line because she was worried about your safety.” Toni looked like the proverbial disappointed teacher in that moment. “You can’t—”
“Toni,” Addie’s voice cut in. “I don’t think Kaelee intends to hurt Greta. Do you?”
Kaelee had never in her life been so grateful to see the vivacious actor who had padded barefoot into the room. She was cradling the fluffy Oscar Wilde like a large infant in her arms. The cat was purring so loudly that Kaelee could hear him like he was beside her.
Maybe he does like her more.
Kaelee held up a hand like she was making a vow or swearing in court.
“I have no intention of hurting her. I met a sexy woman on an app, one who reached out to me first by the way, and she asked me to meet her. I did. Then I saw her in New York before I knew she was my editor. If I’d known she was my editor—”
“And my editor, Kaelee. My. Editor,” Toni interrupted. “Greta is the woman who bought my books, changed my stress level to manageable, published a book that led to seeing Addie again and—”
“Shush.” Addie curled into Toni’s side, looking for all the world like she was unaware that Toni was increasingly agitated.
“What Toni means to say is that she is worried about Greta, a woman she’s grateful to, and what she would say eventually is that she’s worried about you, too, and this could get sticky. ”
“Yes.” Toni smiled at Addie before turning her very focused glare back at Kaelee. “Worried. That’s the word. Just that.”
Addie pinched Toni’s leg, and Toni caught her hand and held it in hers.
Kaelee straightened her shoulders, sipped her tea, and smiled at them as best she could with her increasingly present headache. “Greta and I are friends now. I called her to, umm, cancel my books, and she overreacted. To be clear, though, I wasn’t the only one on the app or in the hotel b—”
“Do not talk about her in that way.” Toni pressed her lips together. “My editor does not have a sex life. She exists at her desk at the publisher’s office. Just there. She is always at the office, not on sex apps.”
Addie giggled and patted Toni’s lap consolingly. “I think Toni is worried about both of you, or she’s just sleep deprived and cranky.”
“And why am I sleep deprived?” Toni muttered, looking at Kaelee pointedly.
“Look. Greta and I are friends who fucked a few times,” Kaelee said, feeling guilty for the words even as they left her lips. “There is nothing to worry about here. I’m sorry she overreacted, and I’m sorry I got falling-down sloshed because of my panic attack.”
“And you are not canceling the book,” Toni added. “You kept saying that last night. Canceling the book and leaving. You will not be doing that. If you did, my wedding would be short a person, and you don’t want that, do you? That would upset Addie and—”
“It would upset you, too,” Addie said softly.
“Correct. That’s exactly why I won’t run. I won’t ruin your wedding party.” Kaelee, calmer today already, smiled at them both. The reality was that Kaelee wasn’t going to let that man ruin her life any more than he already had. He was several states away, and there was nothing he could do legally.
“Don’t be difficult. I’m tired.” Toni frowned then.
“Greta. Greta is the woman you went to meet in New York when you asked me to stop you from calling her. You met her because she was here to see me, and I stayed here and told you to meet the app woman. I told you to go have carnal relations with my editor.”
“Toni…” Kaelee looked at her mentor. “I would have seen her again anyhow. She’s been like an addiction. She’s sexy and funny and—”
“No. She lives in her office and does not ever have sex with you.” Toni folded her arms and glared. “And you’re going to talk to Em about your mistake with Greta and about your family, so I don’t have to lie to my oldest friend who also happens to be our agent,” Toni pressed.
“Yes, Mother.” Kaelee nodded.
“And you will never, ever again talk to me about having sex with. My. Editor,” Toni grumbled.
“What if I call her by a different name to talk about her? I’m actually freaking out a little about this,” Kaelee finally admitted, grateful that she could talk about the knot of confusion inside her.
Toni made a pained noise and said, “I need more coffee if I have to hear this. My editor exists in a perfect state of suspended, untouchable bookish space. No rakish women debauch her. No one can upset her. And when the office lights go out, she sleeps, to be woken only when the workday resumes again.”
“Oh, honey…” Addie patted Toni’s knee. “Greta’s human with a normal appetite, and interests, and Kaelee is gorgeous. It makes perfect sense.”
“Nope.” Toni gently untangled herself from Addie and went to the kitchen to start another pot of coffee.
Once she was gone, Addie crossed her legs so she was folded up like a child at a preschool class and propped her elbows on her knees, leaned forward, and said, “Tell me all about it.”
Kaelee lowered her voice and confessed, “I like her. Greta, I mean.” Louder she said, “I like Marie, this woman I met who is not an editor at all.” Then at a normal volume she continued, “We text every day, and when I was first seeing her … the sex was everything I want. She’s fucking perfect. I feel safe with her.”
Addie gave her a sympathetic look. “That’s huge.”
“It is.” Kaelee looked away. “I have trust issues that make some parts of casual sex harder, but … I know I’m not relationship material.
We were going to try friends with benefits, which would be perfect, but then I found out she’s my editor.
So we’re doing this friends thing, but I like her. I really like her.”
“Oh, Kae, I’m sorry.” Addie shook her head. “Could you turn your next book in early and once it’s edited…”
“Already submitted it,” Kaelee said.
“You thought people accusing you of getting ahead with my help was mortifying, what if this gets out? Ha!” Toni called from the kitchen. “Casual sex is not worth burning your career or my editor’s career.”
Addie rolled her eyes. “Ignore her. True love overcomes. Look at us!”
“It’s not love,” Kaelee said quickly. “We’re just really compatible.”
As much as Kaelee wanted to believe that there was a solution, the court of public opinion could be rough. She’d already seen cruel remarks on social media that her book was overhyped because she used to be Toni’s TA.
“Sure, look at us.” Toni brought over a tray with a cup and a pot of tea for Addie. “Let that steep another moment,” she murmured before speaking louder and adding, “Having our lives dissected in the tabloids was awesome. Highly recommend.”
“Worth it, though.” Addie stared up at Toni with the same joyous smile that captivated millions on the screen. “Love is worth all the slings and arrows.”
“Not exactly how the quote goes,” both Toni and Kaelee said at once.
Addie picked up a sugar cube and sucked on it before dropping it into her cup. “Academics.” She poured tea over the cube in her cup. “Writers.” She frowned briefly. “Wonderful, grumpy women with all their walls.”
Addie watched them both as she stirred the tea with a dainty spoon from the tray. “So unwilling to take risks until you are on the edge of losing the most important thing in the world.”
“Which is?”
“Love,” Toni supplied.
“Greta can’t love me,” Kaelee protested. “She’s become a great friend, and I want more. I miss the tas—”
“No!” Toni glared at her. “My editor does not have sex, especially with you.”
“Would you grab me one of those little biscuits? The shortbread fingers? The ones I like?” Addie fluttered her eyes at Toni, who went to grab whatever it was she had just requested.
Then Addie looked at Kaelee and bluntly said, “Of course she could love you. You’re perfectly lovable, and Greta is a smart, wonderful woman. I’m sure she sees that beautiful heart of yours. You’re smart, talented, and loyal. What’s not to love?”
Kaelee shook her head. “I don’t want what you and Toni have. I just want to have sex with the woman I chat with every day. Just casual. Nothing emotional. Friendship and orgasms.”
“You’re deluded,” Addie said with a singular nod.
“Greta put her reputation on the line to make sure you were okay when you were drunk and alone. She clearly likes you, too. What we need to sort out is how to get you to look beyond your baggage and fears. It’s hard sometimes if you are refusing to admit your own wonderfulness. We could start with affirmations.”
And Kaelee couldn’t even try to argue with Addie. There was something irrepressible about her energy. The best Kaelee had to refute Addie’s optimism was “My past has some things in it. She doesn’t deserve having to risk herself because of that.”
“I regret to inform you that you are not in charge of what risks she decides to take.” Addie primly accepted the cookie that Toni brought her and dipped it into her tea. “What your partner sees in you is outside your control. What she does with her heart is, too.”
Neither Toni nor Kaelee replied to that.
Addie continued, “Would either of you try to tell a woman what to do with her own body?”
“No.” Toni frowned.
“Of course not!” Kaelee added.
“Then what makes either of you think that you can tell her what to do with her own heart.” Addie crossed her arms. “Poor Greta. I know just what she must be feeling. I had to put up with this one’s self-doubts, so I am something of an expert on women like you now.
” She pointed at Kaelee. “You need to stop refuting her feelings and know that she has valid reasons for them. If she feels emotions for you, that’s up to her. You don’t get to control her heart!”
If Addie’s right, I can never let Greta find out how I already feel about her. The thought of Tripp Alden’s long reach, his deep pockets, his hateful words spilling into Greta’s life was enough to make Kaelee debate running, upending her life.
One phone call from him is not reason to burn it all down, her logic argued.
Do we really think that’s all it’ll be? her fears whispered.
“That helps make sense of things, Addie,” Kaelee said. “Thank you.”
Addie frowned. “Why do I think you took exactly the wrong conclusion from this?”
Whatever happened, Kaelee would do her best to shield all her friends—including Greta—from it.
Maybe it was time to reconsider her life.
Maybe it was time to move on. There were too many wonderful people who could be at risk, including the couple talking to her, the friend who drank with her, and the woman who sent Toni to rescue her.
She had good friends, and Tripp would hurt any or all of them to get to her.