Chapter 23 Kaelee
Kaelee
Kaelee kept replaying Greta’s words over the next couple of days as they spent their long weekend in Philly.
Could we date without an endgame? Could it be this easy?
The only marriages she’d seen were ones like her parents’ that were about one person surrendering all their power.
At least that was all she’d seen until Toni and Addie …
but they weren’t even married yet. Dating leads to marriage, and marriage is a cage.
Kaelee didn’t want that, not for herself or for Greta.
The truth, however, was that Greta and Kaelee fit together in a way she hadn’t ever imagined fitting with another person. Whatever was growing between them was more than sexual compatibility. Casual dating already seemed too light for what she felt.
And that terrifies me.
Greta says we can stay casual.…
The problem was that Kaelee felt too much. Already.
Tonight, they were at a restaurant and afterward, Kaelee had possibly the cheesiest surprise in the world planned.
She’d told Greta to wear a dress she could move in, and Greta had not disappointed.
Even though it was the end of November in Philadelphia, Greta had packed a calf-length red wrap dress with a wide ruffle at the hem that crept up the front of the dress to where it tied at her waist. The sleeves were long and tight, and the neckline plunged so that it almost met the knot at the waist that held the whole thing in place.
“You’re quiet tonight,” Greta pointed out gently. Her bracelets and earrings sparkled in the low light of the restaurant’s faux oil lamps.
“I realized that I’ll miss you when we separate at the end of the trip.
” Kaelee sipped her after-dinner coffee.
Her sleep had been erratic the last few nights between nightmares and the middle-of-the-night sex that Greta happily agreed to when Kaelee woke her.
“I don’t remember the last time I missed someone.
I mean, my grandparents. I missed them when they died. ”
“Luckily there’s phone service where I’ll be.” Greta smiled in that everything will be alright way she had, and it was almost enough for Kaelee to believe her. “Whatever happens between us, I want our friendship to be permanent. That means calls, texts, emails, and visits.”
Kaelee frowned. “So what makes a friendship a relationship?”
“Intentions. Dating means you intend to have a future together. Dating and relationships are building on the hope of marriage and forever, creating a life together.” Greta sounded so sure of herself. “I went into my last relationship hoping for forever.”
“But?”
“Tasha panicked and cheated.”
“What did you do?” Kaelee had watched her mother ignore her father’s nonstop affairs like they were simply inevitable. She ignored his demeaning remarks the same way and eventually became his instrument—passing that derisive rhetoric on to others.
Greta glanced down at the table briefly.
“I told her I forgave her and suggested therapy.” She looked up.
“And she moved out instead. She wasn’t ready for sharing a place or marriage or even sure she was queer at all even afterwards, except at one AM when she called and we hooked up.
For the record, I stopped doing that before I met you. ”
“I trust you, but … ouch on how she treated you. Why not say she wasn’t ready when you proposed?”
Greta’s tone turned wry. “She asked to move in. Her lease was up, and I had bought a great apartment. She suggested marriage. That was all her idea, but when things didn’t work, she had to believe that I was the one who was wrong.
She needed to blame someone. I understand that now.
For a long time, I thought I misunderstood, but I think it was more a case of neither of us being ready.
And sometimes when people are in pain, they hurt others.
Maybe your mother is hurting, too, and that’s why she wrote to you. ”
“Maybe.” Kaelee looked away, watching for the server to bring the check. “But that doesn’t change what happened to me because she let him hand me over to Kyle.”
“It doesn’t.” Greta sighed. “That’s the part of dating that messes me up. We all come with baggage of some sort. Who wants to unpack it in front of someone you’re trying to impress?”
Kaelee gave her a slow, lingering once-over. “You impress me. That baggage you have doesn’t get in my way.”
“Same.” Greta smiled. “I like the way we have been here on the trip. I feel … connected with you.”
With an abrupt gesture, Kaelee finally caught the eye of one of the waitstaff and handed him a credit card. “We are running late. Can we get the bill?”
The man left to retrieve the slip, and Greta said, “Late for what?”
“My plan.” Kaelee debated canceling. She’d already prepaid, but her date plans really felt foolishly romantic. We are friends who are casually dating. Kaelee summoned a ride on one of her apps and then looked at Greta. “I made an appointment for us. You can cancel if you want.”
“I trust you.”
“I was looking at things to do that weren’t bars, meals, and movies,” Kaelee started. “Something you might like.”
“I liked the walking tour yesterday. The museums. All of it.”
“Sure, but … this weekend has meant a lot. I was panicking, and you were right here with me. You made me relax and have time to think of plans. I want you to know I appreciate it.” Kaelee took Greta’s hand in hers. “I want you to know that I appreciate you.”
“I do know that.”
“Okay, so—” Kaelee paused and signed the bill.
She pocketed her card and stood. She might not have liked most of what she had learned in her childhood, but because of it, she knew how a person was to treat a lady.
The difference, of course, was that her grandfather did that when no one was watching and in public.
Kaelee stepped up to Greta’s chair and held a hand out as she stood, steadying her on the dagger points of her high-heeled shoes.
She helped her into her coat, and then she led her to the now-waiting car and opened the door.
“This is all very mysterious,” Greta murmured.
Kaelee got in and took her hand. “We can leave if you hate it.”
“Is it scandalous?”
A laugh burst out. “Not tonight. If you want me to book us something scandalous another night, I can. This is more … romantic, I think.”
Greta nestled closer in the back of the car. “I like that, too. Honestly, I’d try anything with you. Indoor skydiving, horseback rides, strip clubs, couple’s pottery classes, paint and sip, experimental theatre productions, festivals … You name it, I’ll consider it.”
Kaelee squeezed Greta’s knee fondly. With Greta, any and all of that and more things on top of it sounded good. For now, she’d focus on tonight’s plan. “Pick one for our next weekend getaway.”
“Really?”
“I chose for tonight,” Kaelee said, ignoring the flare of panic at making plans beyond this trip.
She wasn’t sure how much time they had before her life imploded—and hoping for weekends away with Greta made her hope that maybe they wouldn’t end at all.
Maybe Greta was right, and there was a way to stop her father’s bullshit before it ruined everything.
What could he really even do?
When the driver pulled up at the little dance studio, Greta looked at Kaelee in surprise. “Really?”
“I thought it was different. Memorable and—” Her words were lost under a kiss as Greta grabbed her face and pulled her in closer.
The gleeful look on Greta’s face when she released Kaelee was enough to sweep away any lingering doubts.
They got out, and for a moment, they stood in the cold parking lot.
Then Greta looked at her with such raw affection that Kaelee couldn’t deny that they were already deep into the land of actual feelings.
“I’ve always wanted to do something like this!”
“Have second dinner?” Kaelee nodded at the Chinese restaurant a few doors away. “Your wish is my command.”
“Observation, Miss Carpenter. You took me for a private dance.” Greta pointed at the dance studio.
“I did.” Kaelee held out a hand and Greta took it.
Inside, the studio was warm. The lights were low, and the music was soft. A woman in a flared dress greeted them. “Kaelee and Greta? How lovely to meet you! I’m Inez.”
“We spoke on the phone,” Kaelee said.
“Yes. Kaelee. Come in. I have water here for you.” Inez motioned to a glass pitcher of ice water. “Or tea if you like.” Two mugs sat waiting.
“How about we just get started?” Kaelee said. Sitting around would make her self-conscious.
The teacher smiled widely and then nodded once. “Have either of you taken any dance?”
“Ballet,” they both said.
Kaelee braced herself against the next admission. “Cheer-related dance, so … I don’t know if that counts. Nothing since I was a teen.”
“Did you look over the options?” Inez directed the question to both of them.
“Rumba,” Kaelee said.
“Good!” Inez took Greta’s hand and led her to the center of the floor. “You stand like this.” She motioned Kaelee over. “Come.”
Kaelee felt foolish standing there as Inez positioned her hands on Greta. “I work better with words.”
“No touching?” Inez frowned. “I can dance with your lady to show you if you prefer.”
The thought of Inez dancing with Greta made an unfamiliar possessiveness surface in Kaelee. “No. Touching is fine, I guess.”
Inez smirked, but she said nothing as she positioned their arms in a basic frame. She paused, squeezing Kaelee’s biceps. “She is strong, Greta. Her arm is strong, and yours rests there on hers as she leads you. Yes?”
“Yes.”
“You hold this hand here in her other hand, lightly, as if you will escape.” Inez smiled. “She will pull you back when you pull away. This is how we dance. She will lead you, and when you flee, she chases. You push, pull, and the seduction will continue this way.
“Now we are in the frame, and we sidestep.” Inez stood beside Kaelee and demonstrated a sidestep. “We build to the box step.”
Then she moved to Greta’s side and demonstrated the same move from her position. “Start with the weight here. Then sidestep to the right, then bring the left foot in.”
Greta stared at her intently, her lip caught in her teeth as she watched and studied the moves.
Then Inez moved again, saying as she did, “We do this as slow, quick, quick, slow, quick, quick.”
They tried to do as she instructed while Inez repeated, “Slow, quick, quick, slow, quick, quick.” Twice they repeated this before Inez frowned at Kaelee. “Hips. Your hips are stuck. We must move these.”
“My hips are what?”
“Stiff. Stuck. Not moving.” Inez demonstrated the moves again. “See how my hips move. It’s not just the feet. Hips move. Again.”
Kaelee tried again.
“Better. Think when you step, you bend this knee. See how my hips swish when I bend the knee like this?” Inez paused. “You hold Greta’s hips now. Greta will move hers, and you will feel how you must move. The lead and the follow both sway, like a cobra charmer.”
Inez made a twirl gesture with her finger, and Greta pivoted to put her back to Kaelee. “Grab her there,” Inez ordered. “Hold on.”
Greta looked over her shoulder. “Come on. Grab me, darlin’.”
Kaelee gave her a stern look at her attempt at a drawl. “Sassy.”
“Sassy is good,” Inez pronounced. “Sassy. Fun. Sexy. Miss Greta, sway and seduce this woman.”
“With pleasure.” Greta flashed a wicked smile at Kaelee. “You like to grab me, don’t you? Grab me. Lead me. I’ll follow you.”
Kaelee was sure she could do better at this without Inez there, but without a teacher, she couldn’t follow the moves of the dance. She pushed the self-doubt out of her mind as best she could. “Let’s do it again.”
“You have the dance frame with your arms exactly, Kaelee.” Inez smiled encouragingly. “You hold her well, but you must also relax in the hips more.”
Then Inez took Kaelee’s position leading the dance and Kaelee stood behind Greta with her hands splayed on Greta’s curves.
As Inez led Greta through the same steps several times, Kaelee felt the way Greta was rolling her hips.
It felt like the sort of girlish femininity she had rejected when she left her old name and old life behind—but Inez was in the position traditionally filled by a man leading his woman in a sexy, seductive rumba.
My body knows this sway, Kaelee admitted to herself. It doesn’t make me less strong.
“You feel how she moves?” Inez said. “This seduction of the hips is the base as much as the box step. You know these two things, and you can learn the rest easily. You must move like you want her to stare only at you. Seduce her with the way you move your body.”
Kaelee nodded. “I can seduce her.”
“I am sure.” Inez smirked again. “Lead her. Hips, Kaelee. Move hips and feet both.”
A few moments later, Inez said, “I will make the music louder.” She walked away, purposefully leaving them.
Without another person there, Kaelee felt her body relax into the rhythm almost instantly. “I heard what you were trying to do there, darlin’.” Kaelee met Greta’s eyes. “Flirting with me…”
“And reminding you that you are in control,” Greta murmured in barely a whisper. “I like this. You leading me.”
Kaelee relaxed into the moves for several beats and said just as quietly, “I like you.”
“Good.” Greta stared at her. “We can avoid calling this thing we’re doing anything in particular if it means we keep doing it.”
“And your job? My family?”
“Fuck it all, Kaelee. We can figure it out. I want this. I want you. Dancing. Weekends. Texts. Dinners. All that you are willing to give me.”
Kaelee swallowed her reflexive refusal. She wanted the same thing, even if she couldn’t say those words right now. “And if I ruin it? If I can’t be what you need?”
“I trust you. You lead me, and I’ll follow at whatever tempo you need.” Greta leaned in like she was going to kiss her.
“No!” Inez interrupted as she walked toward them. “Rumba is tension, not the kiss. You may kiss her after you dance. Build the tension now. Make her wait for you. Tease her. Seduce her.”
“So rumba is a big tease?”
“Sounds like,” Greta whispered. “Shall I tease you?”
“Yes. Seduce me, darlin’.”