Chapter Seventeen #2
I nodded, grateful beyond words. Then, with one last look at Tessa, I let Griffin lead me from the room, his hand warm at the small of my back.
Because for the first time in longer than I could remember, I wanted something for myself.
Not a brief respite or something temporary. I wanted Griffin for myself.
Once we reached his room, he led me inside before shutting the door to the world outside. I didn’t really know what to do. Griffin crossed to me and gently pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly. I let him.
After a while, Griffin scooped me into his arms and carried me to the bedroom.
He set me on the bed, then knelt at the edge to untie my laces, one shoe at a time, working slowly and carefully, like he thought I might break.
I probably looked like it. When he finished, he lifted my legs up onto the mattress, tucking them beneath the comforter before removing his own shoes and crawling in beside me.
I wanted to talk, to tell him thank you or sorry or something to express the emotions all tied up inside me but couldn’t seem to get anything out.
I buried my face in his shirt instead, breathing him in.
Griffin slid his hand into my hair. If I’d wanted to fall apart, he’d have held the pieces together for as long as I needed.
We stayed like that until the panic and static draining through my body left something raw and new behind.
My fingers curled against the side of his ribs, and I couldn’t stop the tiny, desperate tremor that shot through me.
I hated being weak, but Griffin only drew me tighter, wrestling the blanket up around us both.
“I feel… empty.” I didn’t know where the words finally came from, but I didn’t stop. “Like I’m missing a vital part of myself.”
“You know Tessa’s gonna be OK. Right? She’s going to have the best medical and psychiatric help she needs.”
“No, Griffin. That’s not what I mean.”
He raised up on one elbow to look more directly at me. “What’s on your mind, honey?”
I took a breath. “You.”
“Me.”
“Yes. Griffin, I want you in my life. I want more than a few nights together during high stress situations. I want…”
“Something lasting?”
I frowned, “Something meaningful. Something I want with all my heart to last and not just a relationship I stay in because it’s convenient.”
He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, giving me a soft smile.
“Do you want that someone to be me, Veda? Because I’ll tell you now, even if you’re about to throw me over, you’re that person for me.
The person I want with everything in my being to be at my side for the rest of my life. ”
I sucked in a breath. “How can you know that?”
“How can you not?” I opened my mouth to respond but he put a finger over my lips.
“And before you say we don’t know each other well enough, let me remind you we’ve been through hell together.
You don’t go through something like what we did and not form a bond.
I know you’ll do anything for the people you love.
You know I’ll burn down the world to help you help the people you love. What more do we need to know?”
I opened my mouth again. Then shut it and shook my head slightly. “I mean, when you put it like that…”
There was a brief pause before Griffin snorted out a laugh. Then we both started laughing. And it felt amazing.
We were both still laughing when I slid my hand under his shirt and spread my palm over the solid muscle of his stomach.
Griffin stilled, the smile never fading but going hungry.
His gaze flicked to my mouth, then back up, as if working out what I wanted.
Like it wasn’t obvious. I wanted him with stark hunger.
I pushed him back so I lay across his chest and found his lips with mine. The kiss was soft. Tender. Griffin let me set the pace. I braced one hand on the pillow beside his head and caressed his cheek with the other. When he licked at my lips, I opened my mouth, greedy for his kiss.
Griffin slid his hand down my back, fingers digging into my hip just hard enough to startle a gasp out of me. In answer, he grinned against my lips, then rolled on top of me, pressing me into the mattress. I could feel his cock already hard against my thigh through his jeans.
I wriggled under him, and he made a low, frustrated sound that did more for my confidence than a year of therapy ever could have. I hooked my legs around his waist, pulling him tighter.
“Careful,” he growled into my neck. “I’ll break this fucking bed if you keep that up.”
I bit his ear, hard. “You think I care about the bed?”
He cupped my breast, thumb circling the nipple through my sports bra.
He slid his hand under the band and drew it up over my head, tossing it to the floor.
My nipples peaked instantly in the cool air, and Griffin ducked to take one in his mouth, tongue lapping and teeth scraping just enough to hurt.
I arched up, using my hands to force his mouth tighter against me, to make him taste every inch of skin he could reach.
Griffin sat up to grab my waistband, pulling my cotton pants and underwear down my legs together with a single motion.
I lay naked under him. He hooked my knees over his arms and spread me open, staring at my pussy like it was the only thing he’d ever wanted to see.
“Perfect,” he said, and the word was so rough I shivered at the intent I heard in his voice.
He knelt down, lowering his head between my thighs, and for one long, dizzying moment he stared at me.
Like he was trying to memorize exactly how I looked spread open for him, hungry and needing him.
Then he kissed the inside of my thigh, slow and deliberate, his beard dragging a sweet, sharp contrast against my skin.
I shuddered, toes curling into the edge of the mattress as he worked his way up, licking and biting, leaving a hot trail until he reached my pussy.
Griffin found my clit and sucked hard. I moaned, arched up to meet his mouth.
He pinned my hips with both hands and dragged me down the bed until his mouth was flush against me, my weight braced with his hands which he moved to my ass and held me to him.
“Fuck,” I gasped, or tried to, but it came out a broken whimper. I tugged at his hair, not to guide him, but to keep myself from flying apart.