Chapter 40
Chapter
Forty
MERRI
We arrived in an empty, sparsely decorated suite I’d never seen before. A small living area with a hallway that I assumed led to bedrooms. Upon further inspection, it was more like an apartment. All I knew was I recognized Auntie Lilith’s magic at work.
“Where are we?” I breathed as Grim pulled me close.
“Lilith’s secret lair. All of us are here, building an army.” This came from Chaos, who gazed at me with yearning in his eyes.
“You found them?”
Sin chuckled. “More like they found us.”
“There’s much to discuss. We will bring you up to speed after you get settled in,” Malice offered. He moved until he was at my side, running a hand down my hair. “I missed you, hellcat.”
“I missed you too,” I said, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing.
“We should let the others know we’re back,” Chaos said, clapping Sin on the shoulder while discreetly gesturing to the door.
I knew what he was doing, and I appreciated it.
He wanted to give Grim and me some time alone.
We were the ones who needed healing. The others and I had done the repair work already, and until the bond Grim and I shared wasn’t at risk of breaking, we had to prioritize it.
Now more than ever. Who knew when Lucifer would strike next?
We needed to be strong, united. There was no room for any cracks between the five of us, or he’d exploit them.
It was impossible to know what having Lucifer as a mate meant. For me. For them. For this apocalypse. But I knew better than to underestimate him. This wasn’t the end of anything.
They left us alone in a heavy silence, our breaths the only sound in the room. Grim turned me to face him, his jaw tight, eyes anguished as he took me in.
“I thought you’d never let me near you again, wildflower.”
“I’d considered it.” He winced right before I added, “But it proved harder than I thought.”
He looked away, throat bobbing as he swallowed. “I know I deserve every ounce of your anger. You offered me something precious, something I probably will never truly deserve, and I was an absolute arse when I denied you.”
“Yeah, you were.”
His eyes lifted to mine. “Do you ever think you can forgive me? Is there any chance of me finding my way back into your heart?”
I stiffened as I sat with the words, wondering what the truth really was. Could I forgive him? Yes. Had he ever really been absent from my heart? No.
“Grim, you broke something inside me.”
He hung his head before going to his knees before me. “I wish I could take it back. All of it. But Merri, I truly thought you had to be mistaken because there was no way someone like me would be gifted something so precious as a mate.”
I ran my fingers through his hair, knowing he wasn’t done.
“It’s not an excuse, merely an explanation, but you have to understand I spent my entire existence believing the world to be one thing, only for you to come along and completely upend it. It’s a lot of history to unlearn.”
“A lifetime’s worth,” I said with a nod.
“More like several hundred lifetimes.”
I released a breath and offered him a wobbly smile. “Then I suppose it’s a good thing you’re immortal and can spend the next several hundred making it up to me.”
Reaching for his hand, I tugged until he got to his feet. Then, I slowly removed his glove and brought his fingers to my cheek.
“I . . . I love you, Merri. I never thought myself capable of love, but you proved me wrong.”
There was no doubt in my mind he meant everything he said.
Grim never intended to break my heart, not really.
It was a painful accident, but it was still an accident, and I’d had my fair share of those.
Everyone deserved a second chance, especially a horseman who was learning what it meant to be human. Well, human-ish.
Feelings were new to him, to all of them, really. They were going to make mistakes, and so was I, but we were a team and we would figure it out together.
Lifting onto my tiptoes, I pressed my lips to his and threaded my fingers behind his neck. Then I pulled back and stared into his mercurial eyes.
“I’ll forgive you on one condition.”
“Anything.”
“Please don’t break my heart again.”
Grim
“Fuck, wildflower. It's the last thing I’ll ever do.”
Unable to keep from touching her for longer than a moment, I dragged my fingertips over her beloved face.
I’d been forced to deny myself the sensation of touch with nearly every person in my life.
So here, in this room with my . . . mate, I needed to commit to memory the feel of her.
Silken skin, the rise of her cheekbones, the slope of her upturned nose, her soft lips, the gentle curve of her jaw.
Each feature created the face I loved. Each one deserved attention.
She remained still under my ministrations, her eyes fluttering closed as she leaned into my touch. Merri understood without my having to say a word how much this moment meant to me. In all honesty, it was probably the most intimate moment of my entire life.
“You are so achingly beautiful, Merri,” I murmured, replacing my fingers with my lips as I kissed a path along her jaw and down her neck.
“So are you, Grimsby. Every part of you.”
I didn’t deserve the words. I wasn’t worthy of them.
Or this woman. But I vowed then and there that I would strive to be.
Reaching down with one arm, I scooped her up until she was cradled bridal style in my hold.
Her answering giggle lightened something inside me.
Maybe I wasn’t such a miserable git after all.
“Where are you taking me?” she asked, toying with my hair as I carried her down the hall.
“My lair.”
“Oooh, your lair? And what do you intend to do with me once you have me in your clutches?”
“I was intending to ravish you, but if there’s something else you desire, all you have to do is ask.”
“I’m all for a ravishing, but for our first time like this . . .” She didn’t finish her sentence, instead burying her face in my neck.
Reaching my room, I used my shadows to open the door so I didn’t have to release my hold on her. “What, love? What do you want? Would you like me to cherish you as you deserve?”
I placed her on the bed and waited as she brought her gaze up to meet mine.
“I need to know this is real. That I’m not going to wake up and find out this was all a dream.”
My heart shattered at the raw vulnerability in her eyes. I’d done this to her, made her doubt herself and my love for her. I was such a fucking fool.
“It’s real,” I promised, my voice little more than a ragged whisper. “I’m not going anywhere. And I will remind you of that as often as you need me to.”
“Good.”
She reached for the hem of her T-shirt and pulled it over her head, revealing gorgeous, bare skin underneath. Covered in blood as she was, I held up a finger and went to the bathroom to get a warm, wet cloth so I could clean her before I made her mine.
Each stroke of the washcloth over her skin caused her nipples to tighten, and the way her eyes darkened made my cock harder than it had ever been.
I’d seen her nude countless times, but knowing I had her all to myself and could take the weight of her breasts in my palms without fear of harming her made me itch to touch her again.
So I did.
I cupped the full globe and lowered my head, using my tongue to tease and taste, then my teeth.
Merri groaned and dragged her fingers through my hair, pressing me closer.
I laughed against her skin, delighting in the way my breath pebbled her flesh. “Need something, darling?”
“You. Just you.”
“We have all the time in the world. What’s the rush?” I pushed her back until she lay on the bed, sprawled out and at my mercy.
“I need you now.”
I fucking loved the sound of that. And I would never deny my mate anything she needed. Not now, not ever again.
Tucking my fingers into the waistband of her sweats, I pulled them down her body.
If you’d have told me even a year ago that the sight of a woman’s body would render me speechless, I’d have laughed in your face.
But I understood now, in a way I’d never been capable of, what Botticelli had sought to capture with his art.
She wasn’t just beautiful because of her body.
She was beautiful because I loved her. Because she was mine.
Being with her like this was unlike anything I’d ever known. The magic of loving someone the way I loved her made everything before her seem unimportant.
I’d only had one other lover before her, but that had been transactional at best. Nothing compared to this. Merri was it for me. She was everything.
“I love you,” I whispered, pressing my lips to her belly. “I love you,” I said again, this time kissing her hip bone. I’d denied the truth of the words for so long that we both needed this. Her to hear them, and me to speak them.
She arched her back as I made my way up to her nipple and sucked on the taut peak. When I released her flesh, I rolled my gaze up to meet hers and said one final time, “I love you.”
Merri’s eyes shone with emotion as she tugged me up and pressed her lips to mine. We fit together like two puzzle pieces, my hips settling perfectly between her thighs. With a whimper, she ground her pelvis against mine, wordlessly begging me to give her what she needed.
Part of me wanted to draw this out, to spend hours mapping her body with my hands, lips, and tongue. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t crave the connection just as much as she did. I needed her.
Pulling back just enough to complete my task, I unbuttoned my shirt and tossed it on the floor, then moved to the zip of my trousers.
Impatient little thing that she was, Merri reached between us and grabbed my aching length as soon as I freed it from the fabric. I groaned, a pained sound I couldn’t contain, as she stroked me from base to crown.
“Please, Grim,” she begged, guiding my tip to her entrance.
I’d denied her too much for too long. I couldn’t resist anymore. Not with her plaintive plea in my ear.
I slid home, my breath stalling in my chest at her perfect heat. I’d technically experienced this in our dreams, but it was different somehow, having her in my bed, watching her pulse thundering at the side of her throat, her hands roaming over my body in much the same way mine had hers.
Knowing that she was made for me and I for her.
Everything culminated in one overwhelming truth: I was exactly where fate wanted me to be.
We moved together in long, slow rolls of our hips, gentle touches, worshipful kisses, and ragged moans. But as it always did with Merri, pleasure built swiftly and undeniably, and I was on the precipice far too soon.
“I’m going to—”
Taking my face in her hands, she cut me off with the sweetest kiss. “I love you, Grimsby.”
I was gone. Done for. Over the edge and spilling inside her as she followed me in ecstasy. There was nothing more perfect than Merri telling me she loved me. Nothing.
And I’d do everything within my power to ensure she’d have reason to tell me, and I her, as long as I existed.