21. No Answers
Chapter Twenty-One
NO ANSWERS
Icehawks management is finally getting a brain. Rumor has it that Drakos Lenkov is being shopped to several teams. Lenkov has been an issue in the locker room since the team formed. Despite being an alternate captain, he hasn’t stepped up to the plate as a leader. If anything, he’s the opposite, encouraging bad habits among the younger team members. It’s no wonder that the team is trying to unload him.—Aria at All Hockey News
~~Inez~~
Damn her . So much for getting on Aria’s good side. I should’ve never agreed to that interview because I shudder to think what bullshit she’ll publish about me. Aria can’t be trusted, and I should know better. Drakos is going to have to fight his own battles where she’s concerned. There’s not much else I can do.
There’s a more troubling part that I’ve buried under indignation over Aria attacking Drakos after our deal. If there’s any truth to this Drakos deal, I’ve been kept in the dark by Brian. The team returned from our road trip last Friday night after a heartbreaking loss to Vegas where they battled their ass off. Camden wasn’t his usual consistent self and played as if he were distracted. I fear I’m the distraction. One more downside to us sleeping together.
I didn’t see Brian over the weekend, but he knows how to use a phone. Maybe this has to do with me not handling personnel decisions for certain players, of which Drakos was one, but he could still keep me informed. I fear this shows a lack of trust, and I’m worried about further repercussions if Brian isn’t comfortable sharing team secrets with me.
Tonight, we play Seattle in an early Monday game. Brian’s been out of the office all morning. I feel as if he’s avoiding me, but that’s likely paranoia speaking.
Brian and Aria aren’t my only problems. First and foremost is what to do about Camden, if anything. I haven’t seen him since the plane landed in Portland early Saturday morning, though we’ve texted back and forth all weekend. We’d left everything up in the air that night together. We’d agreed to take the weekend to think things over, but I’m still as conflicted as I’ve been all along, probably more so.
I’m guessing we’re both doing some soul-searching. I’d like to say this can’t happen again, but I don’t trust myself around that man. I want him way more than I ever wanted that puppy as a child. I snort to myself, as he probably wouldn’t appreciate being compared to a puppy.
My soul-searching so far has consisted of fantasizing about another night with Camden. Oh, the things I want to do to him and have him do to me. I get wet just thinking about our one and only time together. It’s not enough. It’ll never be enough. I crossed a line that I regret, yet I don’t.
I force myself to concentrate on my job. I can’t let my confusion and guilt regarding my actions affect my job. It’s bad enough I’ve crossed over into inappropriate professional behavior.
I glance up as Brian enters my office. I smile in welcome. After all, I haven’t seen him in a week.
“Glad you’re back. We need to talk.” Brian’s face stiffens with tension, and I’m immediately on defense while battling an overwhelming surge of guilt.
I swallow hard and run through all the possible transgressions I’ve made recently. The biggest one is sleeping with Camden. Then there’s the interview with Aria. I’d been very careful not to reveal anything damaging, but that doesn’t mean she won’t embellish or fabricate for maximum drama. What if she publishes it without showing it to me, which would be no surprise?
That brings me back to Camden. I’m certain our secret is still a secret, except for Aunt Matilda. Brian’s businesslike and not prone to paying attention to gossip unless it affects the team. What happened between Camden and me would affect the team if it got out, I remind myself.
“In my office.” Brian turns on his heel and walks away. We could’ve talked in my office, but I recognize his tactic. He wants me in his domain, not mine. I quickly follow him, while attempting to calm my wildly beating heart. I sit down at the table in his office, and he sits across from me. He consults his iPad before directing his full attention toward me.
“Inez, let me cut straight to the point. You’re getting up to speed, but not as quickly as I’d hoped, and I’m carrying the bulk of the workload.” Brian has never been happy about my promotion. He doesn’t have to say it. I’ve known all along. He doesn’t believe I was the best choice, and I suspect he’s not happy that my lack of experience has added to his list of duties and responsibilities.
I’m oddly relieved. Even though his criticisms are serious, and I’d be wise to take heed, Camden and I aren’t on his radar.
“I’m sorry, Brian. I’m trying. What can I do to lessen your load?”
His disapproving gaze cuts like a knife. Alarm spreads through me. For the most part, Brian hasn’t expressed his opinion regarding my promotion until now. He’s been properly supportive. The worst part is that he’s right. I’m not capable of doing many of the duties required by this position because of lack of knowledge. I’m trying to figure everything out that I can, but the learning curve for someone who wasn’t born into hockey is steep.
“Why don’t you tell me what you’re capable of doing that’ll lessen my load because at this point in time, I don’t have a clue.” He doesn’t bother to disguise his irritation. He’s upset about something that goes beyond my inexperience, but so far, he’s not sharing. I immediately wonder if this has to do with Aria’s claim regarding the Drakos trade.
“I would love to lessen your load, but you’re not being fair. I’ll do anything I can, but you have to let me know. Give me a chance. I’m here, and I’m willing to work. You know that about me.” I might be overstepping, but he can’t be upset with me when he hasn’t given me a chance to fix what’s wrong.
Brian’s gaze remains focused on me for a very long time before he sits back and sighs. “You’re right. I’m not being fair. I haven’t told you how things have been going.”
With a whoosh, I release the breath I don’t realize I’m holding. Brian’s words might be the closest thing I’ll get to an apology, and I’m grateful he’s all in all a fair man.
“I’m good at juggling schedules, dealing with people, analyzing statistics. All of that. I can be in contact with the scouts and prepare reports on how our prospects are doing.”
“Fine. Take care of that. While you’re at it, this team is battling for a playoff spot by the skin of our teeth. We don’t need Aria messing with Drakos’s mojo. See if you can do something to help him.”
“I will. I’ll do what I can.” It’s an impossible task, and we both know it. Whatever history Aria and Drakos might have, she’s hell-bent on vengeance. “I have no idea where she heard the rumors of a Drakos trade.”
“They’re not rumors.” He consults something on his computer.
“This is the first I’m hearing of it.” I try to keep my tone light and not accusing.
For the first time during this meeting, he actually ducks his head as if ashamed. “I would have clued you in if you’d been in the office rather than on the road trip.” He knows as well as I did that’s no excuse. I’m only a phone call away.
“I understand.” What I really understood is that Brian doesn’t trust me and doesn’t consider me worthy of being involved in an important trade of a major piece of this team.
“What’s concerning to me is how Aria found out. Who’s feeding her this information? I need your feedback. Who leaked the info about a Drakos trade?” Brian asks.
“I can’t imagine she would have any concrete information.”
“There’re only a handful of people who knew about our talks with other teams. One of whom is Drakos’s agent.”
“His agent is Ross Arnell. He would never leak that kind of information. He’s the consummate professional.”
“What about Drakos himself?” Brian mused.
“I didn’t hear any mention of a trade on the road trip. It could be someone on another team. It doesn’t have to be our team. I don’t know anyone in this organization who’d tell her anything. Most of the guys greatly dislike her.”
He scratches his head and appears to be deep in thought. “We’ve had multiple inquiries regarding Drakos, and a couple informal offers are very tempting.”
“Like which ones?” I ask, hoping I’m not overstepping my bounds. But I’m not, I remind myself. As assistant GM I should be privy to all these conversations. He shouldn’t be keeping important deals like this from me.
He hesitates, obviously reluctant to fill me in.
“Brian, I need to know what you know. If you choose to keep me in the dark, then I don’t know how I can possibly help you.” I hold my breath, hoping I’m not overstepping my bounds.
Brian smiles slightly. “You’re right, I can’t complain about your lack of skills when I’m not giving you enough information to develop those skills.”
He turns to the television on the wall and casts what’s on his iPad to the screen. For the next hour, we go over possible trade options. He shows me clips of potential players we’d get for Drakos and discusses their pros and cons. I’m proud that I’m able to offer a few helpful insights into some of these guys. I have been doing my homework.
When I leave Brian’s office, I feel better about where Brian and I are. Shelby jumps when I exit. I’m surprised to see her here. She should be at her desk outside Mr. B’s office.
“Do you need something, Shelby?”
“No, nothing.” She’s guilty as sin, but I don’t know what she’s guilty of. “Sorry, Mr. B asked me to see if Mr. Werkle was available. I’ll go back and report to him.” She scurries away before I can point out that she didn’t ask Brian if he’s available.
I take the elevator to the team level in hopes to catch the end of practice. My head is down as I check messages on my phone. I run into a solid wall, as in a man’s muscular chest. I don’t have to look up to know it’s Camden. I can sense it’s him.
“Hey, you okay?” Camden steadies me with hands on my arms and holds on a longer than necessary.
“I’m fine. Sorry, I should watch where I’m going.” I back up a few steps, suddenly flustered to be in his presence. I raise my gaze to his face but not before taking in his practice uniform, which conceals a very nice body. I would know. I’ve explored every square inch of it. Damn, but I love a man in uniform, particularly this one.
He searches my face. “You’re not fine. Do you want to talk about it?”
I glance frantically around to make sure we’re alone. “Not now. Someone might see us.”
“I get it.” His face falls, then hardens, and I feel like shit for being so blunt.
“No, no, you really don’t. Meet me at Geppetto’s after the game.” I name a hole-in-the-wall Italian place close to my apartment and not likely to be frequented by anyone from the Icehawks.
“Okay.” He brightens somewhat and gives me that lopsided smile that has my heart doing a tumbling run. I take a moment to look, really look, at him before walking away. I’m as conflicted as ever, torn between my job and Camden.
As I press the Up button for the elevator, I glance over my shoulder. Camden hasn’t moved. He stands in the hallway watching me with longing in his eyes. I’m pretty sure the same is echoed on my face. A flashback of our naked bodies writhing together interrupts by thoughts. My body responds with a hell ya, let’s do that again.
The elevator dings, and I step inside.
I shouldn’t be flirting with fate by meeting Camden after the game, but I can’t help myself where he’s concerned. My practical, logical, rule-following self disappears whenever I’m in his presence.
I have no answers. Only questions.