5. Chapter Five
Chapter Five
Axel
I couldn’t believe Hugo had spent the past ten years worrying that I’d somehow thought he’d been coming on to me. The truth was as far from that as another galaxy. Slowly, I pushed up from the ground and dusted my hands off. I downed the rest of my cola and headed over to the garbage and recycling bins. Glancing over my shoulder, I found Hugo following me. To my dismay, he poured his soda onto the dusty ground and tossed the rest of his food into the compost container. “You could’ve finished that.”
He met my gaze. “I think I’ve had enough.” He rubbed his belly.
I winced. “Sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought that day up.”
“I’m…” He scratched his beard. The beard he hadn’t had ten years ago. His longer hair was new as well. “I probably should’ve found a way to get in touch before now.”
“You’ve been following my career?”
“Yeah.”
“And I’m the reason you’re here?”
“Well, the band.” He looked away.
A warning pinged in my mind. He wasn’t telling the truth. Correction—he wasn’t telling the entire truth.
I stepped away from the trash and toward a post.
Hugo followed.
We stood mere inches apart.
Because of the height difference, I needed to tip my face down.
He tipped his gaze up to meet mine.
I was so damn glad neither of us wore sunglasses. His rested on the top of his head while mine were tucked into the neck of my T-shirt. We’d need to put them back on soon but for the moment, in the brilliant sunshine, his blue eyes sparkled.
I touched his cheek.
He stepped back, pulling away from my caress. Putting distance between us.
I advanced. In my gut, I knew he wanted this. This was the reason he’d come. And this was the reason I’d pined over him for years and years. Even when I hadn’t known he was gay, I’d felt an attraction to him. And while Ed was sharing how he felt about boys, I’d never said anything. Knowing what my father’s reaction would be kept me firmly away from ever speaking about my curiosity. About the inappropriate attraction I felt toward my music teacher.
And about the dozens of men I’d met in the intervening ten years who I would’ve hit on…if not for my hangups about being gay. Ed might not be out publicly, but he did have guys he dated.
I had no men. Just a string of nice women whose company I enjoyed.
Hugo took another step back, and his back pressed against the food truck.
Having the advantage, I advanced again.
He held up his hands.
I grasped them, reveling in the strength, in the softness of the skin mixed with the calluses on his fingers from hours of playing guitar.
Hugo broke eye contact, ducking his head.
Waiting patiently wasn’t my strong suit, but I wanted to give him a chance to come to me.
He didn’t.
So I placed my index finger under his chin and tipped his face up toward me. I could get lost in those eyes. And hear me…there’s nothing wrong with this. Back then, of course. But not now.
Even as he held my gaze, he blinked rapidly.
Does he have something in his eyes? Is the sun too bright? I angled myself so I blocked out the sun. That didn’t ease the shimmering in his stunning eyes. Am I reading true desire or am I imposing my wishes on him? Ten years of yearning’s clouding my judgement .
Yet he didn’t pull back.
I grasped his cheeks, caressing them then cupping him under his jaw.
He still didn’t withdraw.
My grasp was gentle. If he wanted to escape, he certainly could.
But he didn’t.
“I think you came here for me,” I told him. “I’m going to kiss you. If I’m wrong, if you don’t want this, say no.”
His lips parted but he said nothing, his gaze fixed on mine.
So I leaned toward him and pressed our lips together. Just the lightest brushing of lips. Once. Twice.
Then, at once, he opened his mouth and wound his arms around my neck, dragging me closer.
Taking this as both permission and an invitation, I thrust my tongue into his mouth. I tasted onions and—more importantly —something unique to Hugo. I’d kissed plenty of women in my life, but none ever tasted like this. Would all men taste like this or just him? Didn’t really matter as the headiness of actually kissing Hugo went straight to my head.
And, naturally, to my cock.
I went from vaguely interested to fully erect in a short span of time. My body ached for him in a way I never had for anyone. Like if I didn’t have him in this exact moment then I’d die. Need clawed at me as I continued to plunder his mouth—searching the recesses with my tongue. Trying to command the kiss—to take charge—even as I felt control slipping through my fingers like grains of sand.
I eased my hands down his flank, then eased them around to grasp his ass. Again, with no resistance, just a gasp and the tightening of his hands on my shoulders. I grabbed his oh-so-perfect ass and yanked him toward me.
My cock brushed against his very-interested one.
He moaned into my mouth, thrusting against me again and again. His desperation seemed to match my own.
I wasn’t going to spend a lot of time thinking about this. Except…not only was I finally kissing a guy, I was finally kissing Mr. Threadgold. And my high school crush on a generous and kind teacher was now playing out in real time. He’d insisted he hadn’t seen me that way back in high school. Which came as a relief. Clearly, though, he saw me that way now.
I thrust against him over and over—searching for desperately needed friction. This was so different from rubbing against a woman. I’d always believed the women I was with enjoyed themselves. But with Hugo, I didn’t need to wonder. And if we kept this up, I was certain I was going to explode, and I was pretty certain he would as well.
“Did you hear Hellsbane is back this year?” A deep male voice spoke with reverence.
“And they’re back with Blade. And the hologram,” a higher voice added with clear enthusiasm.
Hugo pulled back, essentially ripping himself out of my arms.
A group of four goths passed by us. They didn’t appear to notice us. Or were too kind to say anything.
I kept my head turned away. I wasn’t well-known by any stretch of the imagination, but I didn’t need to out myself just one day before the biggest night of my life. Out myself. Come out of the closet. Holy shit, what are you thinking? Obviously I wasn’t. And my erection wasn’t waning, even as Hugo pressed fingers to his lips. Were they tingling like mine? Did he feel this undeniable connection? Would he be willing to do that again? To pick up where we left off? I advanced.
He held up his hand.
This time, I halted. Even I, not the shiniest penny in the jar as my mother would say, could read a hard stop . My ragged breaths matched his, and my erection continued to strain against my leather pants. “Hugo—”
“No.” He gulped in air. “This is wrong—”
“No, it’s not.” I sliced my hand through the air. “It would’ve been wrong ten years—”
He spun and took off.
I stood, stunned. Thirty seconds ago, he’d been pliant in my arms, and if I’d suggested we go behind the food truck so we could fuck, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d said yes. Which was nuts. To jump so far so fast. Yet with my cock this hard and condoms in my wallet? Things could’ve ended very different.
Would’ve ended very differently. Hell, if the bus was empty, I would’ve risked it and taken him back there. Having sex in a bunk wasn’t easy…but it was totally possible. I should know. Had done it more often than my bandmates knew.
Or…at least I was pretty sure they didn’t know.
You’re getting off topic.
What topic? He’s gone. You’ll probably never see him again.
My phone rang. I yanked it from my back pocket and swiped. “What?”
“Dude, chill.” Big Mac laughed. “I’m just letting you know we’re heading to the main stage for our rehearsal. You’re on your way too, right?”
“Yes.” I might’ve snapped that. Big Mac didn’t deserve my ire, but the object of my annoyance…of my affection…was nowhere to be found.
“Right. See you in ten.” The call disconnected.
I stood, rooted to the spot, for another good half minute. Follow Hugo? Walk away? What the fuck had just happened? I’d finally kissed a guy…and that guy had bolted? Somehow, I didn’t think my inexperience in the kissing a guy department was the issue.
Again, I slashed my hand through the air. Then I spun and stalked off in the opposite direction.