Chapter 10 Zach #2
The truth was I preferred not to think about it most days. I’d rather focus on what I did have. On what I wanted. On my dreams. Especially after my experience with Victor.
Oh, what would Daddy Dearest think of that. His son? A punching bag to a white man? He would have disinherited me on the spot if he hadn’t already.
Hell, I would have disinherited me. It was pathetic. Sticking around a toxic relationship just because he knew how to say “I love you” and “I’m sorry” the right way.
“Enough about my sad life. What about you?” I asked, trying to clear my mind by shaking my head free of the debilitating thoughts.
I cut into the steak and took a bite before it got cold.
“Oh my God!” I moaned. “That’s so good. I haven’t had steak in ages.
“I’m glad you like it.” He offered me a mini sauce jug. “Try this on top.”
I took it from him and inspected the dark contents.
“What is it?”
He smirked.
“Give it a try.”
I tipped the jug over my steak and a dark red liquid poured out. I bit my lip and cut another slice trying to guess what it was because even though it looked like jam, I was sure it couldn’t be.
As soon as the sauce-covered steak hit my tongue, an explosion of flavors erupted inside me. It was bittersweet and fruity but somehow it paired amazingly with the steak.
I couldn’t help but moan at the amazing flavor profile lighting up my senses.
When I tried to cut another slice I noticed Dare was staring at me with heavy eyes and a quiver to his lips.
I wiped my mouth on instinct, the extra attention making me very self-conscious and Ι swallowed the lump that formed in my throat.
“Is this blueberry?” I asked.
“Blueberry vinaigrette,” he nodded. “You like it?”
“Are you kidding? That’s so good. Why aren’t you selling it?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t know if anyone would be interested.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Dare, darling. Sell the damn thing,” I told him before I could stop myself.
He smiled.
“Thanks,” he mumbled. “If you think it’s worth it, I will.”
“It is.” I took another bite and before I started chewing, I prompted him. “You were about to tell me about your family.”
He took a deep breath and sat back.
“Right. Yeah. Well, family is back in Texas. We don’t really talk, to be honest. I haven’t seen them in a few years.”
“Because of the gay thing?” I asked, taking a guess and hoping I had the correct read on his sexuality.
“Yeah. They couldn’t wrap their mind around a big burly guy, a SEAL no less, being queer. They thought the Navy would fix me.”
“Yeah, because being surrounded by testosterone and muscles when you’re gay is the worst!” I fake groaned.
Dare chuckled.
He was so handsome when he laughed. Heck, he was handsome most of the time. But especially when he looked happy. He could light up a room with those dark blue eyes that felt as if they could see right through me.
“Yeah. Exactly,” he said.
“So you’re not from Mayberry?” He shook his head. “Wait, a sec. You’re from Texas? Where is the accent? What happened to you?” I smirked.
“I lost it. I left home when I was seventeen to join the Navy. I guess hanging out with a bunch of people from all over does that to a person. Besides, I never had a strong accent to begin with.”
“Wow. I would never have guessed. So what on earth are you doing in Mayberry Holm?”
Dare opened his mouth and closed it again. I sensed a story there.
“Love,” he said. “I was in love. I wanted to retire and run a farm. It seemed like it’d be a simple, cozy life. That was all I wanted after all the years in service and never having a home.”
I was almost afraid to ask my next question.
“Wh-what happened?”
Dare sighed and put his knife and fork down.
“He…uhm…he chickened out. He wasn’t ready to come out, let alone shack up with me in a small little farm where there would be no doubt what we were. So he backed away and I was left with this place.”
“That…” I started and searched for the right words. “That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.”
He shrugged and towered over his food, hunching more than I’d ever seen him do so before.
“Oh well. What can you do?”
I pursed my lips and cocked my head to the side.
“Yeah. I guess there’s not much you can do when someone isn’t ready. I guess moving on is the only solution.”
“And I have,” he exclaimed, putting down his utensils and gesturing at the house around us. “I’ve got a great farm, a small business, and the quiet life I wanted.”
A lonely life, I added in my head.
It was so strange how if this shit with Victor hadn’t happened I wouldn’t have known that. I would have thought Dare was a happy-go-lucky farmer who loved his life and who was all too excited to be surrounded by people, but this…
I’d only been here a couple of days, but I could see the real Dare now. A lonely, but resilient man whose dream and most importantly, his heart, had been shattered and who didn’t know how to pick up the pieces.
We were more alike than I cared to admit.
“It’s a wonderful life,” I replied and watched him eat more of his food appreciating that I’d got this chance to meet the real Dare.
Not that I could do anything about it. I was a guest haunted by my past in a house full of Dare’s ghosts. The last thing either of us needed was to start something while tending to our broken hearts and souls.
Besides, why would Dare want a sad excuse of a man like me, when he could have anyone he wanted?
“That was great,” I said after a while.
We’d gotten quiet as we worked through our dinner.
“I need a nap. I feel so heavy and sleepy,” I chuckled.
“Me too,” he answered. “Maybe we should have a sandwich for dinner later.”
I smiled.
“It’s a date,” I said and rolled my eyes. Why would I say that?
I helped Dare wash up and retreated to my room. Well, his room.
Fuck my life. After everything I’d found out about him, now I had to sleep in his bed and pretend I didn’t want to share it with him?
Agh. Life has a funny way of playing with my feelings, doesn’t it?
I laid down trying to ward off any Dare-related thoughts that would make me want to touch myself, and closed my eyes.
He was there, of course. Imprinted on the back of my eyelids. I didn’t know what I expected.
I took a deep breath, blinked him away and tried to sleep again.
It wasn’t working.
My phone beeped and I reached for it, glad for the distraction.
Unknown Number: Come out come out wherever you are
Great. Now there’s no chance of sleep, like, ever.