Chapter 20 Zach
TWENTY
ZACH
Iwas still high on Dare, even in my dreams. Feeling his hands on me, surrounded by his warm, naked embrace made me feel safe and happy. It was no wonder I fell asleep so fast and dreamt of nothing but rainbows, hearts, and unicorns.
When I opened my eyes I had no idea what time it was or how much time had passed but I knew I never wanted to get out of this bed. I wanted to spend the rest of my days here with him. With Dare.
I sent my hand behind me in search of him, but I met no resistance, no warm flesh. I rolled on my back to check but there was no Dare there. Just Lookah, blinking up at me by my feet.
My disappointment must have been obvious because he looked up and cocked his head to the side as if he was asking me why he wasn’t enough.
Good thing he couldn’t ask me that because I wouldn’t know how to answer him without breaking his heart.
I blinked and Dare appeared in my face, gasping, moaning, smiling. Our time together flashed before my eyes and I laid back in bed, staring at the ceiling as if it was showing my memories play out in real time.
The more I remembered, the harder I got and I wished he was here to help me out again.
Now that I’m thinking about it…
I sat up in bed and glanced at the door.
“Where is he?” I whispered but no one answered. Not even the dog.
I scanned the room for a note or hint but there were none. Then I reached for my phone.
“Fuck!” I exclaimed when I realized it was nine in the morning.
How the hell had I slept all night and why was there no light coming from the window?
I pushed myself off the bed and when I approached the window I realized the blinds had been shut.
“So sweet,” I mumbled and I opened them to let the light in. I decided to look for Dare before I jumped in the shower, hoping he would follow me in the bathroom and help me…clean up, of course.
I didn’t find him.
I looked in the living room and kitchen; then I looked in the spare room and the store room but he wasn’t there either. Neither were the goats.
When I opened the front door so Lookah could run out for his morning business, I realized why.
His truck was gone too. He must have gone to the fields without me, which was odd considering I’d offered to help him.
Maybe he didn’t want to disturb me after what happened yesterday or maybe he wanted to let me rest after the evening we’d shared.
Whichever the case, I decided not to overthink it and retreated into the shower to clean up. Once I was all fresh, I stood in the kitchen, in front of my laptop and browsed through my recipes trying to find the best one to thank Dare for being there for me.
I did run into a problem however as every recipe I clicked seemed to conjure a replay of us instead of the actual recipe.
Last night was good. It was more than that. It had been everything I could have ever dreamed of and more. It had been nothing short of magical, least of all because I realized he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him.
I sighed and decided this wasn’t helping take my mind off things, so I just started picking up ingredients and making it up as I went. It was the only way to put my mind in some sort of order and be functional for a few hours until Dare came back.
I didn’t manage to get very far when there was a knock on the door. I dropped the whisk and stilled myself as Lookah barked at the big evil door.
I tried to take deep breaths, but it was next to impossible when whoever was standing outside was sucking all the air in my lungs.
Before I gave myself another panic attack, I grabbed a kitchen knife and approached the door. I looked through the peephole and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw my neighbor, Teddy.
“Hey Teddy,” I said and hid the knife behind my back but not before he spotted it.
“Are you mad at me or something?” he asked, putting his hands up as if in surrender.
I shook my head and let him in. As with every guest, he spent some time down on his knees saying hi to the big furball before he settled down in the kitchen and I offered him coffee.
“What brings you here?” I asked.
Teddy raised an eyebrow and glared at me with a smirk before taking a sip.
“I wanted to check on my friend-slash-boss. Is that okay?”
“Of course,” I replied as I bit my lip.
Thanks to all the madness in my life, I’d completely forgotten about the madness in his.
“How are you doing? I’m so sorry about the truck,” I said and he wrinkled his brows at me.
“Why are you apologizing to me?” he asked.
“Well, you needed the job, and you lost that extra income overnight because of me.”
Teddy rolled his eyes and put his mug down.
“It wasn’t your fault and I’m not the affected party here. How are you?” He pointed at me for extra emphasis and I dropped at the stool next to him.
“I’m…okay,” I said.
Teddy stared at me.
“That it? Okay? Really?”
I shrugged.
“What do you want me to say, Teddy? That I’m lost without my job? That I feel like driftwood in an ocean? That I’m scared life will never be the same again? That I might have to leave this place behind? Is that what you want?”
“Well…yeah,” he said and put his hand on my shoulder. “That’s a lot.”
I nodded.
“But what are you talking about? Leave this place, why?” he asked and looked around the house.
“No, not leave Dare’s farm. I mean not specifically. I mean leave Mayberry Holm.”
“Why?”
“Why do you think?” I glared back at him, and he inhaled deeply.
“You’re not going anywhere. This place is your home,” he said.
“Not with Victor lurking around every corner it’s not.”
“We’ll deal with Victor.”
I deflated and dropped my chin to my chest.
“Everyone keeps saying that, but they never tell me what they mean. Deal with him how?”
Teddy reached down to my knee and gave it a squeeze.
“We’ll do whatever we need to. That’s all you really need to know,” he said.
I looked up at him.
“So…kill him?” I muttered under my breath as if we were being watched.
“If that’s what it takes,” he said, and cold dread went right through me.
I knew Victor had put me through hell, but did he really deserve to die?
My gut told me yeah, he did. If he was ever going to leave me alone, he needed to die or I needed to run and I much preferred the first choice. Then again, did I really want someone’s death on my consciousness?
“I feel like…we need to change the subject,” I mumbled.
It felt wrong to even be discussing these things as if they were normal. As if they were legal.
Teddy chuckled and picked up his coffee.
“Sure. What do you want to talk about?”
“Anything but killing,” I replied a little too fast.
Teddy nodded and looked around. His gaze landed on my mixing bowl.
“What are you making?” he asked.
I shrugged.
“Not sure yet. I was going to make brownies, but I ran out of chocolate. Maybe I’ll make a blueberry cheesecake. I know we have plenty of blueberries.”
“You do?” Teddy asked and I stared at him smirking, but he looked back at me blankly for a second before it clicked and he slapped his forehead. “Oh my God. Please forget I asked that.”
I laughed and promised to forget but I was sure I’d tease him about it at some point in the future.
“Can I help?”
“Help?” I asked.
“With the cheesecake? I’ve never made it. And I’ve missed working with you.”
I smiled and dragged him to the other side of the kitchen island so I could walk him through the process.
“It’s super easy,” I started, and walked him through how to crush the Graham crackers and create the base on the pie tin.
I watched and guided him where needed. It helped distract me from what had happened with Dare and me, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have flashbacks to last night and everything we’d shared.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Huh?” I blinked as if I’d just woken up but really I was pushing down the memories so I could regain my composure.
“You look distracted.”
I licked my lips and sighed.
“I am,” I said.
“Are you thinking about your ex?”
I grimaced in disgust.
“God, no!”
Teddy narrowed his eyes and leaned in close as if trying to study me.
“Then what?” he asked with a serious expression that made me chuckle.
I bit my tongue and sucked in my cheeks trying to suppress a smile.
“Well…” I said. “Dare.”
“Oh?” Teddy answered, then he smirked. “Oh!”
“Yup.” I nodded.
“What happened? Did he finally tell you he likes the heck out of you?”
“Huh? What do you mean finally?” I asked, and it was Teddy’s turn to bite his tongue. “Teddy?”
He waited a moment before he spoke again, but I was so impatient it felt like eternity.
“I don’t know anything, but…”
“But?”
“Well, it’s pretty obvious to anyone with eyes you two like the pants out of each other.”
It was?
“It is?” I asked.
“Yeah?” he answered in a question that only made me more confused. “Are you telling me you don’t see the way he looks at you whenever he stops by the truck?”
I shook my head.
“Oh God. Wesley is right. You two are dummies.”
“Hey!” I groaned. “Tell your boyfriend we’re not dummies!”
“I don’t know, man. Autumn says the same thing and she’s known you longer.”
Autumn?
“Fuck,” I said. “Are you trying to tell me I could have kissed him sooner?” I sighed.
“Wait, you kissed?” Teddy slammed his hand on the counter and his eyes popped wide open.
My cheeks got instantly warmer as I nodded softly.
“Well, it was about freaking time,” Teddy announced to the room. “You two make a cute couple.”
“Oh I don’t know that we’re a couple. We’ve just kissed.”
Teddy raised an eyebrow.
“Just kissed?”
I avoided his gaze but that only seemed to reinvigorate him.
“Oh my God, you slept together didn’t you?”
“I didn’t say that!”
“You didn’t have to. I can see it in your face.”
I covered my face and looked at Teddy through the gaps between my fingers.
“I’m so embarrassed.”
“What? Why?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I just am.”
“Wasn’t it good?”
I bit my lip.
“Of course it was.”
“Then what?” he asked.
Before I could answer, the front door opened and Dare walked in. As the goats passed him by and entered the house, he stopped and looked at us.
Teddy waved at him and he responded with a single nod, but when I did the same, he barely acknowledged my presence. Instead, he dipped his head, closed the door behind him and retreated into his bedroom with a word.
“What was that all about?” Teddy whispered.
“I…I don’t know,” I answered, staring at the corridor as a sinking feeling flared in my stomach.
Two seconds later, the bedroom door opened again, and I watched as Dare carried a pillow and blanket to the guest room then slammed the door shut, confirming my worst fear.
Dare didn’t like the pants out of me. He didn’t like me like I’d liked him all this time. He hadn’t enjoyed our night together. He’d regretted it.
He regretted me.
My eyes stung with the hurt and I tried to stop the tears. Then I tried to suppress my emotions the only way I knew how.
By baking.