28
Will slept through his alarm and was late getting into school. He didn’t even have enough time to grab lunch before leaving the house, and he couldn’t eat the cafeteria food, which meant he wouldn’t be eating until dinner. He was more aware of how much fuel was left in the car. He already didn’t have enough to get him to training and back on the weekend, and he had no solution for that. After getting a late slip, he went to Miss Sparrow’s class late and joined Jack.
“Are you okay?” Jack’s forehead creased when he faced Will.
“Overslept,” Will said.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you late to anything,” Jack said, concerned.
He shrugged.
Jack glanced at Miss Sparrow before he spoke again. “Listen, Amanda’s really upset that Birch is going over to your house.”
Will looked down at his hands, but he had to face Jack to answer him. Otherwise, he wouldn’t know what he said. “Why?”
“You know why.”
“He’s going to help me with math,” Will said. “And I don’t see why she’s upset when they’re just friends.”
Jack frowned. “She likes him. And she thinks he’s interested in you because of the party, so could you—” he bit his lip. “Could you cancel your plans tonight? Please? I’ll come over and help with math.”
Will took his time studying the classroom as he thought it out. Something about the whole situation, about how Jack was handling it—no, handling him— felt wrong. He felt like an annoyance. And he hated that Jack was making him feel like that. The first guy who’d been his friend in school and by his side for years now made him feel like a charity case. “Don’t worry about it, Jack. I’ll tell Birch something came up. The three of you can go do your thing.”
Guilt flashed in Jack’s eyes. “I’ll come over. I want to come over.”
“ I don’t want you to come over.”
The chatter in the class went dead silent. Will clenched his hands into fists. Everyone was staring at him. Cassie, Gale, Michael—and even Miss Sparrow had been startled into silence. His voice had come out loud. Real loud. His breath rattled in and out unevenly as if he’d been running. Jack’s brown eyes were wide. He didn’t even look hurt, just shocked.
The whole class was.
“Sorry,” Will said. Even in a low voice, in the silent room, it was as if he’d shouted again. “I didn’t mean that.”
Jack noticed that everyone was watching them, and he turned his body to face the front of the room. “It’s okay.”
Will glanced at Miss Sparrow, and that seemed to jolt her out of her daze.
“Okay, class.” She cleared her throat. “Let’s keep working. The more we get done now, the less you’ll have to hand up next week.”
The classroom stayed quiet. Will and Jack talked about their project, but only what was necessary. It was as if everyone was holding their breaths, waiting for Will to snap again. If the class had been even five minutes longer, Will would have gotten up and left. Everyone’s gazes were like spiders crawling over his skin.
“Hey,” Gale said, approaching as they filed out of the classroom. Michael flanked his other side. “How about you come play soccer with us for lunch?”
Will knew there was no way he could sit with Jack after that. “Sure.”
Somehow all the sixth-years, even the ones that had dropped football for their exam year, ended up assembling on the pitch. The younger players were kicked off the field—thanks to James’s malicious efforts—but they all lingered to watch, most of them complaining loudly about James. It was fun, sort of. Will couldn’t let his body numb his mind entirely, because his stomach was eating itself alive, but he could just listen in for a change. Nobody put any pressure on him to talk. Nobody pointed out that Will kept missing shots he’d usually get and was only moving at half speed. They played through the warning bell, and when the bell rang telling them to get to class, all the players finally made their way back toward the school.
Will went into the changing room to get his bag and sank down onto the bench. The boys were fast to file out, and he realised why when Dune sat next to him.
“You look tired,” Dune said.
“Thanks.”
It went quiet between them, and Will dropped his head into hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it like that.”
Dune rubbed his shoulder. “What’s going on?”
“Cassie tell you I snapped at her yesterday?” Will asked.
“She said you seemed off.”
“And did she tell you I yelled at Jack?”
“You didn’t yell at him,” Dune corrected. “You were short. That’s all.”
Will stared at the floor. The tiles were stained from hundreds of students trampling mud and grass over it. He followed a crack in the center and focused on that as he talked. “I don’t know what to do.” His voice was shaky. “Exams are next week, and I know I won’t pass half of them. I don’t have enough money to get to the training this weekend or enough money to get food in the house, and Dad only buys shit I can’t stomach.” He took in a choked breath as a sob came out. “I slept through my alarm, and I don’t have enough money to get lunch, and I’m hungry. And I’m always hungry, and I just want to be able to eat like a normal person.”
Dune wrapped his arms around him as sobs wracked through his body. The pressure in his head was so intense it felt like it would burst open. He gripped his hair tightly, trying to get rid of the pounding. The back of his neck was warm and damp. Dune was crying.
The tears didn’t stop until Will was exhausted to the brink of passing out. Dune held him for all of it. Rubbing his back. Telling him it would be okay. He closed his eyes and straightened up. Dune pulled away but kept his hand on his shoulder.
“We’ll go to my car,” Dune said. “And I’ll drive over to my house. Okay?”
“I can just head home,” Will said half-heartedly. “You can go back to class. It’s exams next week.”
“I’m not in any state to go back either, Will,” Dune pointed out.
Will collected himself as best he could before looking. Dune’s eyes were red and there were stains down his cheeks from tears.
“It looks like allergies,” Will said.
Dune shook his head. “Nobody would buy that.”
Will checked his reflection. Yeah. Nobody would mistake his swollen eyes for allergies. He wasn’t going back to class like this. “Are you sure?”
Dune nodded and took his hand. “I’m sure.”
*
Mrs Coyne was home and greeted them by the door. The small woman did a double-take when they walked in and looked stuck for words when she examined Dune’s face closely. “Sweetie?”
“Could we have lunch?” Dune glanced over at Will before continuing. “Nothing too fatty. A lot of vegetables and fruit would be good if we have any.”
“Okay…” she said, still looking unsure. She gave Will a nervous smile. “It’s good to see you again, Will.”
“You too,” he answered. Because of his raw throat, his voice came out husky.
She made no remarks about their state, or comment on the fact they’d both obviously been crying. But he noticed the concerned look she shot Dune before going to the kitchen. Will followed Dune upstairs to his room. It was pristinely clean and smelled like air freshener and laundry detergent.
He sank down into the couch and Dune joined him. They faced the black screen of the TV. “We could watch something,” Dune said. “Or we could do study for the tests next week.”
Watch something. Definitely watch something.
“Study will probably help you feel better about facing next week.”
“Probably.” The only revision Will had done was the things that Gabriel had helped him with. “Yeah. Let’s do that,” he said tiredly.
They worked quietly. Will had expected himself to break down again once they got to Dune’s house, but he actually felt better. As if crying had released some stress from his body. “Do you know what you’re doing next year?” Will asked without looking up from his copy.
“Business studies,” Dune answered promptly. “Dad wants me to learn what goes behind running a place before I go work with him.”
“How many points do you need?”
“Four hundred or so. I’m not worried about getting that many,” Dune said.
No, Will bet he wasn’t. Dune was doing all higher-level subjects, and he was good at them. But four hundred wasn’t something Will was capable of.
“Do you have any ideas?” Dune asked tentatively.
The leaving cert felt like it was an eon away. A life after school was something Will couldn’t get his head around. He couldn’t imagine it. As if the future was something that happened to other people, and not to him. “According to Nicolas, I should be able to get into a lot of colleges with a sports recommendation, even if my grades are bad. Except I don’t have anything I want to do.”
Dune put down his pen and looked ahead with a thoughtful expression. “Well, if it were me, I’d probably pick a place in Dublin. That way you wouldn’t have to go far for training.”
“Yeah.”
“And if you’re getting a sports recommendation, there’s probably a sports scholarship to go with it,” Dune added.
Nicolas may have mentioned that too. Will’s family wasn’t well-off like Dune’s, but he’d never had to worry about money before now. When he’d gotten his car, his mom gave him the card and gave him a weekly allowance so he could afford to fuel it. His mom also bought food for the house. She cooked. Will obsessed with not overeating, so he’d never worried about there not being enough food in the cupboards.
“That’s a long time away,” Will said.
Mrs Coyne called them down to eat. Several dishes were laid out on the kitchen table. It was just like Dune had asked for—a lot of fruit and a lot of vegetables. “Thank you.” Will was given a plate and told to help himself. He ate slowly, afraid that stuffing too much food down all at once would just cause it to come back up, and he got through the meal.
His headache finally abated while he was doing the dishes. Dune put the extra food into lunch boxes and stuck them in the fridge.
“Since we’re both more presentable, let’s head out,” Dune suggested.
“Head out where, exactly?”
“Shopping.”
Will shook his head. “Dune, no way, I can’t pay you back.” He still hadn’t paid Gabriel back for the food yesterday. At least by leaving school early, he didn’t have to see him in class. He wasn’t sure how to face Gabriel after what happened.
“I’m not going to miss it,” Dune said. “You know I don’t need it. And sorry, but whether or not you come with me, I’ll show up at your house with groceries.”
Will knew from one look at Dune’s resolved stance he wasn’t kidding. He tried to relax and to accept it without feeling guilty. “Thank you.”