33
They spent the drive home in silence. Gabriel had asked a few times whether Will wanted to talk, but Will only shook his head. He didn’t want to. Not yet. He wasn’t ready to open up to anyone. He didn’t know if he ever would be. The moment they were inside the door, Gabriel was moving around quickly. He put on the kettle. He dug out a hot-water bottle.
Will stood in the doorway, at a loss. Gabriel noticed and stopped what he was doing to come over. “We can put on the TV, watch a movie, or listen to music…?”
Will wondered if that was possible. To do something as normal as watch a movie after tonight. He didn’t know what he wanted to do. He wasn’t just tired; he was spent. And he didn’t know how he felt right now.
“How about you lie down?” Gabriel decided for him.
Will followed him into the bedroom and sat on the bed, watching as Gabriel pulled his shoes off. Will didn’t know what to do with himself. He didn’t know if he should talk and tell Gabriel he was alright, or if he should do the opposite and tell him he wasn’t okay.
“My—” Will mumbled. Gabriel’s head shot up, his focus training in on him. “My chest hurts.”
Gabriel put the shoes aside and knelt in front of Will. There was something raw about the way Gabriel watched him, but only tenderness in the way he touched. His voice was low and soothing. “I’m going to take a look.” His gaze remained on Will’s face until he nodded.
Will lifted his arms, and Gabriel pulled the shirt off him.
Gabriel drew in a sharp breath. His fingertips were featherlight against his chest as he skimmed along the bruises. “You said you didn’t get hurt in the accident.”
“Did I?” Will murmured.
Gabriel stood.
“Don’t go.” Will caught his hand. Even though he couldn’t sort out how he was feeling, he was sure he didn’t want to lie down. He didn’t want to be alone.
Gabriel squeezed it. “I’m not going anywhere.” He walked to the dresser and picked out a sweatshirt that dwarfed Will. The fabric was loose against his torso and didn’t tug against any of the bruises. “Lie down.”
“Stay with me,” Will insisted. He was certain that after what happened Gabriel wouldn’t refuse him, and he no longer cared about being pitied. He needed him.
Gabriel bent down to kiss the top of his head. “It’s okay. I’m not leaving you. I’m getting the blanket from the living room. I’ll be right back.”
Gabriel left the door wide open so Will could watch as he first filled the hot water bottle and then got the fuzzy blanket he’d wrapped Will in the last time he’d slept over.
Will got under the covers only when Gabriel was coming back. Gabriel draped the blanket over him and then climbed in next to him. He was hesitant as he wrapped his arms around Will, pressing his chest against Will’s back. He was even more careful when placing the hot water bottle against his stomach. “Am I hurting you?” he asked.
Will shook his head. He closed his eyes and sank back into Gabriel’s arms. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
“You don’t need to apologise for that,” Gabriel said immediately. “You don’t need to apologise for anything. Nothing that happened tonight is because you did anything wrong.”
Will was struggling to unpack the night's events and make sense of them. The problem was that he didn’t want to think about what happened. He wanted to forget it, but his entire body was an aching reminder that wouldn’t let him. “The crash was my fault.”
“It wasn’t—”
“You weren’t there.” He continued, interrupting Gabriel in a hushed voice. “I was tired. And I was too caught up in what Leah was saying to pay any attention to the road.”
Gabriel’s arms got tighter. Will bet he wanted to disagree with him, but he also knew Gabriel didn’t want to argue with him either. “People aren’t perfect, and it’s not fair to expect them to be,” he said. “And you shouldn’t expect it of yourself, either.”
Gabriel shifted and lightly pressed his lips to the back of Will’s neck. “Talk to me.” He entreated.
Will shivered at the light caress.
“Talking doesn’t make you weak, or small. It won’t annoy me, or make me pity you,” Gabriel continued softly. “There’s nothing you can say that will make me think you’re not the same sweet guy I’ve gotten to know.”
Will opened his eyes slowly. He was already here. Gabriel had already seen him. He didn’t see what else he could expose that Gabriel hadn’t realised by now. He rolled around, so he was facing Gabriel. Their heads rested on the same pillow inches apart, close enough that their breaths lingered together on every exhale.
“What do you want me to talk about?” he asked.
“Everything,” Gabriel said.
Will talked slowly. He didn’t even mention his family. He told Gabriel about Jack, Amanda, and Birch. And somehow it was easy. Like with Birch, once he’d started, he didn’t stop. He told Gabriel how Jack went from being his best friend to someone he didn’t even want to be around. “I always wanted to be the person closest to him.” Will traced the line of Gabriel’s collar bone, focusing his attention on that so he could keep talking. “But Amanda has always been his number one. She doesn’t like me.” He bit his lip and continued hesitatingly. “And, I don’t like her either.”
Gabriel let out an amused breath.
Will’s eyes shot up, wide.
“I’m not laughing. I’m not.” Gabriel was trying not to grin. He tucked a stray strand of hair that had fallen across Will’s cheek behind his ear. It was as if affection was glowing in his eyes, and that stilled any hurt from forming in Will at being laughed at. “You…you said that as if you were admitting to having murdered someone. People don’t like people. I don’t like the principal. I didn’t like the nurse that was checking you out—”
“What?”
“She had a nice long look for herself.” Gabriel got a dark look in his eyes. “And I didn’t appreciate it.”
Will gave in to a reluctant smile.
Gabriel’s gaze travelled down, and he slipped his fingers across Will’s cheek, toward his mouth. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach, drowning out all the aches and confusion inside him in a delicious warmth. Gabriel moved forward, pressing his lips lightly against his, and retreated again with his eyes closed.
“Sorry,” Gabriel apologised. “I know I told you that nothing would happen until you turned eighteen, but I had to.”
Will’s body warmed. “I don’t mind.”
“You’re the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.”
“I’m not sweet.” Will objected.
Gabriel smiled at him. “Whether or not you admit it.”
“Gabriel.” Will nudged his chest, frowning at him.
“Okay, okay. You’re right,” Gabriel relented with a grin. “You’re such a sour person. Only looking out for yourself, not caring about your friends at all, always trying to get everyone down—”
“I’m close to kicking you out,” Will warned.
Gabriel kissed him again. His lips firmer against him. His fingers threading through Will’s hair as his tongue teased Will’s lips open. Will closed his eyes, leaning into the kiss, that ended too soon with Gabriel pulling away once more. “You’re not going to kick me out,” he said confidently.
“Not if you keep kissing me,” Will agreed with him.
Gabriel’s grin grew, but Will saw worry in his eyes. For once, Will didn’t mind that he wanted to hold back. He was okay with just being held.
Gabriel suddenly frowned. His head turned toward the doorway. Before Will could ask what was wrong, there was a knock at the front door. Someone was at the door. Will jerked up, and Gabriel caught his shoulders. “ Shh , it’s okay. I’m sure it’s just Leah.”
“She’d flip out if she saw us like this.” Will brushed past Gabriel, bending down to his shoes and roughly shoving his feet into them. There was a second knock, followed by Leah’s voice.
“Gabriel? Will?”
“Calm down.” Gabriel rubbed his back. “She’s not coming in here until I unlock the door.”
Will stifled the surge of fear and let it settle. He let out a controlled breath. Right. He was glad Gabriel was so calm. If he was nervous at all, Will would probably panic. He squeezed his hands tightly together. Everything felt so out of his control, even his own emotions.
“Do you want me to let her in?” Gabriel asked tentatively. “I can send her away if you don’t want to deal with her right now.”
Will thought about it. The temptation to just curl up in Gabriel’s arms and sleep was enormous, but be it now or tomorrow, he’d have to face her eventually. The difference was that right now, Gabriel was with him. And just simply having someone on his side made facing the world feel possible. “I’d rather talk to her with you here.”
Gabriel gave his hand a final squeeze before going to the front door. Will went with him, hovering by the back of the couch as he opened it. Leah stormed inside and went straight toward him. Involuntarily, his mom doing the same thing flashed through his mind, and he drew himself up.
“Leah,” Gabriel snapped.
Leah jumped, stopping her advance to glare at him. “Jesus, what?”
Gabriel’s gaze snapped between the two of them. He stared hard at Will and his jaw clenched. He turned to her. “You should go.”
“Go?” she repeated incredulously. “What the—what the hell are you talking about. Go ?”
Will closed his eyes. His breath rattled in and out way too fast to be normal. He leaned against the back of the couch and gripped the top in his fists. When he calmed down enough, he looked and found Leah and Gabriel in a full-blown argument. “Gabriel.” He got his attention. “I’m fine.”
Gabriel softened when he looked at Will, but the harsh exterior returned when he faced Leah. “Thin ice, Simmons,” he warned, his voice unfriendly. “Upset him, and I’m kicking you out.”
Leah squared off as if she were about to fight him, and Will interjected. “Leah, you didn’t come over here to argue with Gabriel.”
Leah gave him a final glare and approached Will. She stopped just in front of him, the anger gone from her face. Will squeezed the couch hard enough to make the joints in his fingers ache. He could hear the horrible sound the first slap had made ringing in his ears.
Leah lifted her arm.
Will flinched, his entire body recoiled from her in expectation. Adrenaline flooded his body.
Leah stood frozen, her arms outstretched to hug him. Hurt filled her face and tears spilled down her cheeks.
“I didn’t mean to,” Will forced himself to reach for her as regret filled him. His body had moved on its own. “I’m sorry Leah, I didn’t mean to.”
Leah returned his embrace. She cried against his shoulder.
Over the top of her head, Will could see Gabriel standing with his hands in fists. The rawness he’d glimpsed earlier was back, and Gabriel’s eyes had something dangerous in them, something angry.
Eventually, Leah collected herself and pulled away. She kept his hand and pulled him toward the couch. “There are some things about Mom I have to tell you.”
Leah gave Gabriel a pointed look when he leaned against the wall near them. Gabriel answered the look by crossing his arms.
“I’d rather he stayed,” Will told her.
“It’s a private matter, Will.” Leah gave him a confused look, but after examining the two of them she seemed to understand that they weren’t going to change their minds. “Fine.”