13. Olivia
13
OLIVIA
I t had only been two days since my day off, and I was already desperate for my next one. Normally I loved my job, but today Catie was getting on my last nerve. It had taken a full half hour to get her dressed, since she kept getting distracted by the toys and books in her room.
Then she’d spilled orange juice on herself at breakfast, and we’d had to start all over again.
Most days I could roll with the inherent chaos of small children, but today…
Don’t think about what today is , I told myself.
“Come on,” I urged Catie. “Let’s go out back and kick the soccer ball a bit. Burn off some of that restless energy.”
She stamped her foot. “I don’t want to go outside. I want to watch a movie. I want?—”
“Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want,” I said, frustrated. “So let’s take a deep breath and stop whining about it, okay?”
Catie looked shocked. Then her lip quivered as she tried not to cry.
“Oh honey, I’m sorry.” I crouched down to her level and pulled her into a hug. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. It’s absolutely okay for you to be honest about your feelings and talk about what you want. I just had a bad night’s sleep, and it’s making me grumpy. I’m very sorry.” I pulled back and squeezed her shoulders. “You didn’t do anything wrong—I’m the one who’s having a bad day. You are such an amazing kid, okay?”
“Even when I’m whiney?” She sniffed a glob of snot back into her nose.
“You’re not whiny. I shouldn’t have said that,” I said. “But even if you have a bad day sometimes and need to whine, you’re still amazing. I promise. Let’s get you a tissue, okay?”
Catie nodded. “I can go get the soccer ball so we can go outside.”
“That sounds like a perfect plan. Thank you for being so helpful,” I said. Catie perked up a bit at the praise and headed off to go find her soccer ball.
I stepped into the hall to find a tissue box and saw Declan just around the corner.
My stomach clenched. How long had he been there?
I could be firm with kids, but I almost never lost my temper like that. Declan and I were finally in a good place, but if he thought I was being an unprofessional jerk to his niece…
“Are you all right?” he asked.
Shoot , I thought. He heard.
“I’m so sorry about that,” I said. “I promise it will never happen again.”
“I know,” Declan said. Gently, he added, “I’m guessing this is about more than a bad night’s sleep?”
I looked away. I wanted to tell him not to pry, but I’d lost that right when I’d snapped at Catie. “Today’s the anniversary of my parents’ death. I didn’t realize it would affect me this way. Normally I take a few days off, and go to the lake where we used to vacation together. But this year I’m in Ireland, so…” I shook my head. “It’s no excuse.”
Declan studied me, his face impassive. A part of me wondered if he was calculating how quickly he could find a less emotionally damaged nanny.
Instead, he said, “Give me twenty minutes.”
T wenty minutes later Declan interrupted my and Catie’s game of “try not to kick the soccer ball into the flowers” to announce that he was taking the day off work, and we were all going to some place called Salthill.
Catie whooped.
“It’s a beach, not a lakeshore,” Declan said to me. “But I think you’ll like it.”
He was right. In less than an hour, Declan and I were spreading out a blanket on the sand while Catie scoped out a spot to build her sandcastle. Compared to wide open Pacific coast beaches I’d grown up with, Salthill felt small and quaint. We sat on a thin strip of sand. There was a boardwalk at our back with stores catering to beach goers. Farther down the boardwalk, a Ferris wheel rose over everything.
It was probably more crowded most of the time, but since we’d hit it in the middle of the week, it wasn’t too bad.
It was a gorgeous, sunny day, but at only sixty-five degrees, I was feeling a bit silly for wearing my swimsuit under my T-shirt and jeans. “Is it always this cold?” I asked.
“What are you talking about?” Declan stripped off his shirt, revealing a lean, muscled chest with a shadow of dark chest hair. “This is summer weather at its finest.”
“I think everyone in California would disagree,” I joked.
He flashed me a smile. “You’re not in California, a chara .”
Declan held my gaze, and I felt something twist and flutter in my stomach. Then he turned his attention to Catie. “Want to go get water for your sandcastle?”
“Yes!” She took Declan’s hand and skipped down toward the water, bucket in hand. They looked sweet together.
They looked like a family. My eyes stung.
I took a long, deep breath of salt air. I rubbed at the ache in my chest with the palm of my hand and told myself it was okay. My parents hadn’t had a long life. But they’d had a good life. They’d liked their jobs, and they’d loved each other. They’d loved our family vacations on the lake. They would have loved today.
I lay back on the blanket and stared up at the blue sky as I listened to the reassuring roll of the waves and scrunched my toes in the sand. I lost track of time. When the sound of Catie and Declan’s conversation brought me back to earth, I realized I felt more peaceful than I had in months.
I sat up so I could watch Catie and Declan’s attempts to build a sandcastle. Eventually, Catie decided that Declan was doing it wrong, so he was banished to the blanket with me.
“Thanks for this,” I said quietly to Declan. “I don’t know how you knew, but it’s exactly what I needed.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Declan said, keeping his voice light. “There’s a fish and chips stand over on the boardwalk that tastes like summer holiday. We’ll go there for lunch.”
“That sounds perfect.” I reached in my tote bag and pulled out a tube of sunscreen. “Hey, Catie, come over here and put some sunscreen on. We don’t want you to burn.”
“Uncle Declan doesn’t have to wear any,” she argued.
“Uncle Declan’s going to wear some too,” I said.
“I am?” Declan asked.
“You are,” I said firmly. As a lifelong redhead, I knew it was better to deal with the inconvenience of sunscreen than the pain of sunburns.
Declan let out a groan almost as theatrical as Catie’s, and I smothered a smile.
After years as a nanny, I was fast and efficient at sun-screening wiggly kids. I was done with Catie and myself in a matter of minutes. Declan, meanwhile, was still grumbling as he haphazardly slapped it on his limbs. To be fair, he had more skin to cover than I did.
“Do you want me to do your back?” I asked, and then instantly regretted it. The last thing I needed to do was run my hands over his broad back.
“That’d be grand, thanks,” Declan said, turning to me.
My mouth felt a bit dry as I rose up on my knees to get a better angle on his shoulders. He stiffened when I touched him, but started to relax as I worked the sunscreen into his skin, inadvertently giving him a bit of a massage.
Okay. Maybe it wasn’t that inadvertent. But in my defense, he was magnificent. It was pure instinct to let my palms linger on the slope of his shoulder blade, the graceful line of his spine, the dip of his lower back.
“Mmm.” Declan’s head fell back. “That feels good.”
“Your reward for wearing sunscreen,” I said dryly. At least I intended it to be dry. It came out a tad breathless.
Declan turned to face me when I finished. “Do you want me to do you?”
I plucked at the fabric of my T-shirt. “No need.”
“You’re not going swimming?” Declan asked in disbelief.
I looked at him like he was crazy. “That water does not look warm enough for a swim.”
“Eh. Only about five degrees cooler than the air.”
I shook my head firmly.
“Chicken,” Declan said, a challenging gleam in his eye.
“I am not!”
Declan just grinned at me, smug. Like he knew his goading would work.
And damn him, it did.
“Fine,” I said, stripping off my T-shirt and jeans. “I’ll get in the water.”
“That’s my girl,” he said, the warmth in his voice doing something to me. I could feel his eyes on me as I rubbed the lotion on my legs. A tiny, vain part of me wished I’d worn a sexier suit. But I’d packed for work, not vacation, so all I had was my practical black one-piece. At least the halter-top design made my boobs look amazing.
I passed Declan the sunscreen and turned my back to him. “Your turn,” I said, trying not to think too much about this.
Declan gently scooped my hair to the side and tucked it over the front of my shoulder to expose my neck. Then he spread sunscreen over my upper back in smooth, easy strokes.
“Can you, um, get under the tie at the back of my neck?” I asked awkwardly. “It moves a bit, and then I get burned…”
He gently lifted the back of the tie and used his fingers to work the sunscreen all around the base of my neck. When he finished, my breath felt a bit shallow.
I popped to my feet, avoiding his eyes. “Right! Time for a swim.”
Catie was more than happy to join me, but I didn’t take her out farther than my hips, and I kept her hand in mine. I didn’t know the tides here.
But Declan did. He swam out farther, weaving through the water with a fluid, masculine grace before coming back toward Catie and me. As the water got shallower, he moved from swimming to striding through the water. I watched the water sluice down his chest and thought the kinds of thoughts straight women always think when watching hot men emerge from water.
He splashed me and Catie, who shrieked. Catie and I returned fire until we were all soaked, cold, and laughing. When we walked back up to our blanket, Catie returned to her sandcastle masterpiece, while Declan and I flopped down on the blankets.
“I like the idea of going somewhere good on the anniversary of a loved one’s death,” Declan said quietly. I understood instantly that he was talking about his dad. “Mostly I avoid the people and places I don’t want to be. But I like the idea of going to something instead.”
“What was he like?” I asked, rolling my head to look at him.
Declan smiled up at the sky. “He was just this calm, good man. He saw the best in anyone and everyone. I remember going to get a glass of water one night when I was maybe ten. One of his mates was over, clearly upset about something. I just remember my da saying, ‘You know it won’t come to that. You’ve got a whole net of people here to catch you, starting with me.’”
“That’s beautiful,” I said.
“He loved Ballybeith,” Declan said. “Even the shit bits.” He rolled his head to watch me. “What about you? What were yours like?”
“Adventurous. Happy.” I smiled. “He worked in real estate, but it was just a job—a way to pay the bills. He loved coming home to me and my mom at the end of the day. Sometimes, when the mood struck them, instead of going to bed, we’d all pile into the car in our pajamas and drive down to the beach. Then we’d park and listen to music while they talked softly in the front seat, and I fell asleep in the backseat.”
“What type of music did you listen to?” Declan asked.
“If my dad picked it, the Stones. If my mom picked it, ABBA.”
“That explains my doorbell,” Declan said, and I laughed. And laughed. I kept laughing, much harder than the joke warranted, until I realized that at some point the laughter had shifted to quiet tears.
“Hey, hey.” He threaded his hand through mine and squeezed. “It’s okay.”
But I don’t have a net of people to catch me , I thought. It’s just me.
And yet, with his hand strong in mine, though, I didn’t feel so alone.
Catie clambered onto the blanket. “Can we read now? Wait, why are you crying?”
I yanked my hand away from Declan as we both sat up. I discreetly swiped at my eyes. “I just remembered something that made me sad. But I’m okay. And I would love to read with you. Let’s see, which books did you bring…” I reached for the tote bag of Catie’s books, feeling confused when I pulled out two identical copies of Emmy Lou’s Beach Day .
“Why do you have two copies?” I asked, confused.
“One is mine, and one is Uncle Declan’s,” Catie explained. “That way he can read them to me over the phone.”
Oh. Oh, this man. I felt something ache in the vicinity of my heart.
“Yeah, but that’s for when you’re in the States,” Declan said. “We don’t have to do it when you’re here.”
“This one is for me and Miss Olivia,” Catie said. “And this one’s for you. She’s going to read, and you can follow along.”
“Very sensible,” Declan said, his face solemn and his eyes dancing as he accepted the book.
“Read the book now,” Catie said, leaning her damp, wriggly body against my side so she could see the pictures. Both of these books would probably have sand in their spines for the rest of their lives. A matching set, in more ways than one.
I read to Catie and Declan, knowing I was in the midst of a moment I’d cherish for the rest of my life. And most of it had to do with the man lying on his stomach next to me, dutifully flipping through a picture book because his niece told him to.