14. Declan
14
DECLAN
I ’d proposed a beach day for Olivia, but I hadn’t realized how much I needed it too.
Anil and I were in the process of deciding whether to acquire a new tech company in Prague that would add organic in-app video to Snug. Right now people could watch linked videos in the app, but it was primarily a text platform. Adding video would help us compete with all the video-based social media platforms. But it would also change the feel of the platform.
It was a tricky balance in tech. Fail to keep up with the times, and miss out on new users. Change too much, and you lost existing users—and risked wading into an area where you really couldn’t provide as good an experience as the competition. Needless to say, it was a stressful state of affairs.
It had felt good to unplug for a few hours and listen to the waves. Even Sinead had noticed I sounded more relaxed when I talked to her that night.
Although it was a good thing the water was cold. Olivia’s demure swimsuit had clung to her curves in a way that had me fantasizing about untying that little bow at the base of her neck so I could finally…well.
As my grandad used to say, cold water is a gentleman’s friend. My gran used to scold him when he said that in front of the little kids, but he wasn’t wrong .
The next morning, I strolled into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea while Olivia cooked breakfast for Catie.
“Uncle Declan! My mom said last night you have a boat.”
“I do.” I grabbed my favorite mug out of the cupboard, but then hesitated before brewing my tea. Instead, I glanced at Olivia, who was busy grabbing a pan from the cupboard. Noticing the eggs on the counter, I started cracking them into a bowl and whisking them. Olivia raised an eyebrow when she noticed what I was doing, and then smiled.
This—whatever this was—felt right.
“Can we go out on it today?” Catie practically bounced in her chair with enthusiasm.
It was on the tip of my tongue to say yes when I remembered what Olivia had said about structure. “Not today, love. I have work. But we could go out this weekend?” I glanced at Olivia to see if I’d handled that right.
She grabbed the bowl from my hands, gave me an approving smile, and poured the eggs into the pan. “I think this weekend would be a great idea.”
Catie heaved a dramatic sigh and returned to her breakfast. “I guess that’s okay, too.”
I bit back a smile. Sinead had been a drama queen too at that age. The women in my family had big emotions.
As Olivia finished the eggs and bacon, I made my tea…but I didn’t return to the office. My new weekend plans were making me feel more optimistic about the workday ahead and so, instead of planting myself in front of the computer right away, I pulled up a chair and sat beside Catie.
“Smells great,” I said. “Can I intrude on your breakfast, girls?”
“Only if we can go out today on the boat,” Catie fired back, crumbles flying everywhere as she stuffed half a slice of toast into her mouth.
“Nice try,” Olivia and I said in unison. We shared a knowing smile and, before Olivia sat down to eat, she gave my shoulder a playful squeeze. It was a simple and innocent gesture, and yet…
Yeah, I thought, this feels right.
S aturday morning dawned gray and misty, but I didn’t mind. That’s what sweaters were for. Besides, the mist would burn off. I helped Olivia and Catie climb aboard The Selkie , the sailboat I kept docked in Galway Harbor. It was big enough to be comfortable with all three of us, but small enough I could easily steer it by myself.
I made sure everyone was in their life jackets and knew the safety rules before I turned on the inboard engine to steer us away from the dock. Once we were out in the open water, we’d have enough wind I could shift to using the sails to navigate.
It was early enough in the morning that the still-waking-up Catie was happy to sit still and stare wide-eyed at everything around her.
I glanced at Olivia and saw her hand was tight on the railing.
I frowned. Was she nervous?
Olivia saw me watching her. “How long have you had this boat? Is this a new hobby?”
“I bought it a few years ago. But I’ve been sailing since I was a boy. My mum’s da was a fisherman.” I smiled into the wind. There really was nothing like being out on the water. “Are you feeling queasy? It’ll calm down once we’re out there,” I assured Olivia.
“No, I…my parents.” She grimaced. “I used to love boats.”
Shit. I felt like a fucking idiot. She’d told me her parents had died in a boating accident.
“We can turn back,” I said, quietly enough that Catie couldn’t hear. “I’ll make up an excuse.”
“No,” Olivia said stubbornly. “I’ve been on boats since. One of the families I nannied for loved yachts. If I do it often enough, then it won’t…” She tilted up her chin. “I want to do this.”
I felt a fierce swell of affection for her. I’d always had a weakness for brave women.
“Here,” I said, beckoning Olivia over to me. “I’m going to show you how to steer. You’ll feel better if you’re in control.”
I scooted back, so Olivia could sit in front of me. “You want to straddle the wheel and look forward.”
She did as I instructed, and I realized that an unintentional benefit of my plan was essentially having Olivia in my lap. She was short enough I could see over the top of her head, with her curls brushing against my lips.
“See how my arm is on top of the wheel? Slip your hand under mine. I’ll guide you.”
She nodded, all focus, and did as I said.
I wonder if she’d be this sweetly trusting in bed? a traitorous part of me wondered. Or would she be stubborn and fiery, fighting me every inch of the way?
I crushed both thoughts, focusing on instructing Olivia so she could feel comfortable again. “Keep it slow and steady. The key is small, gentle movements. A delicate touch goes a long way.”
“Like sex,” Olivia said, and then she clapped her free hand to her mouth. “Forget I said that.”
Not a chance in hell , I thought.
I cleared my throat. “Any questions so far?”
“Yes. Is it a problem that I can barely see over the wheel? What if I hit something?”
I laughed and continued explaining the ins and outs of sailing to Olivia until she started to relax. When we were out on the water, I cut the engine. Olivia even steered for a bit by herself, although I stayed seated behind her, ready to take over if she needed help.
When she handed the wheel back to me, she looked over her shoulder with an elated grin. “That was amazing.”
Her face was just inches from mine, her cheeks flushed and her eyes full of life. I had the sudden urge to just lean forward and kiss her. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.
And that scared the shit out of me.
I leaned back to give her room to stand up. “Can you help me with the sails? Then we can ask if Catie wants to learn how to steer.” I winked. “Don’t worry, she won’t get to try it by herself for a few years yet.”
“Sure.” She stood and moved away, spreading her arms in an easy stretch as the wind whipped her hair. It looked like she was hugging the world. “Ah, this is good. Days like this, I remember why this is the best job in the world.”
“Is it, though?” I blurted on impulse. “Even when people aren’t...well…firing you, you still have to deal with challenging parents. You don’t get to stay in one place, or have a home of your own.”
“I have a home,” Olivia protested.
“If you lived there all the time, not just between jobs, would it be enough?” I asked.
She didn’t answer, but the look on her face told me it wouldn’t.
“If you don’t want to put down roots there, it’s not a home,” I said.
“Not all of us need to stay in the town we’re born in,” she said pointedly.
“Fair enough,” I allowed. “I guess…you’re obviously brilliant at what you do. But have you ever thought about doing something else? Something that lets you stay put for a while?”
I didn’t know why I was asking. I didn’t know why I cared about her answer.
At least that’s what I told myself.
Olivia ran a hand along the railing, deciding how to answer. “I find it’s better not to get too hung up on the idea of permanence.” She flashed me a smile. “That way you can really live in the moment. And it doesn’t hurt as much when something good ends.”
As I showed her how to raise the motorized sails, I chewed over her words. I couldn’t tell if it was the wisest thing I’d ever heard, or the saddest.
I could have stayed out on the water forever, but there were only so many safe things a restless six-year-old could do on a sailboat, so I brought us back into the harbor after a few hours. I docked the boat, cut the engine, and lowered the sails while Olivia put the life jackets away.
I hopped onto the dock and helped Catie hop from the boat to the dock.
“Did you have fun?” I asked.
“Yes! Can we do it again soon?”
“We can,” I said. I held out my hand to Olivia. She took it, and leapt lightly to the dock, landing closer to me than either of us had intended.
A blush spread over her face.
The kiss I hadn’t stolen from her hovered at the back of my mind.
My phone started buzzing, and abruptly we released each other, stepping apart.
I checked the text from my assistant. Someone I’d been trying to get on the phone for weeks—a former software engineer at the company Snug was considering acquiring—was finally free to talk.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Catie and Olivia. “I have to take a call. Can you two occupy yourselves for a bit?”
“Sure,” Olivia said. “Molly thinks Catie’s old enough to start the Magic Treehouse books, so we can head over to the bookstore to pick one up while you take your call.”
“Thanks,” I said. I dropped a kiss on the top of Catie’s head. “Be good for Miss Olivia.”
Catie nodded, already distracted by the promise of new books. But not so distracted she didn’t add, “You should kiss Miss Olivia goodbye too, so she doesn’t feel left out.”
I opened my mouth and closed it, unsure how to handle that request.
But Olivia was clearly more used to the strange logic of children, because she laughed and made a joking show of tapping her cheek.
I leaned in to drop a quick, platonic kiss. But her skin was so soft under my lips, it softened me too. She smelled like lavender, sunscreen, and the sea. A crazy part of me wanted to press my face into the curve of her neck and inhale. For a heartbeat too long, my lips lingered against her cheek.
Then I pulled away, trying to pretend that nothing had happened. That she didn’t affect me in ways I couldn’t explain.
Olivia’s smile was as normal and friendly as ever, but I thought her breath was a little uneven.
“Right. We’ll just…” Olivia motioned behind her, grabbed Catie’s hand, and started strolling in the direction of Shop Street.
I turned blindly in the opposite direction, looking for a quiet place to take my call. I was trying to figure out what the hell was happening between me and Olivia, when I all but bumped into Mark O’Rourke.
The sight of him brought me sharply back to earth. He looked the same as he always did. Good suit. Gray hair. Ruddy skin. And a scowl that could frighten children.
Whatever fanciful thoughts I’d had about Olivia when we were out on the water didn’t matter. Olivia wasn’t a permanent part of my life.
This man unfortunately was. At least for now.
My lips thinned as I stepped around him.
“Don’t think you can ignore me, Byrne,” he barked. “I know what you’re doing. I know you’re the one blocking the sales of my buildings.”
I stopped, delighted by the confirmation that my plan was working.
I turned back to face him and raised a brow. “I wasn’t aware you needed to sell. Is it money troubles?” I inclined my head in mock sympathy. “Truly, that’s too bad. It couldn’t happen to a nicer man.”
Mark’s face flushed with mottled rage. “Back off, boy. Or else.”
I turned on my heel and strolled away, whistling as I went. It took me a minute to realize I was whistling ABBA’s Waterloo .