31. Max
31
MAX
I couldn’t hide out in the bathroom for the whole reception, no matter how much I wanted to.
The waves of nausea kept surprising me, but nothing was coming out. I hated vomiting. Maybe that was it? If I could just let go and get it out of my system, would the sick stomach feelings finally stop?
I was lucky because it was the best kind of bathroom for privacy, a grand space with large, individual stalls behind solid wood doors. Not soundproof, but not as bad as the kind of stall where you could see the feet of the person next to you. At least no one could spot me hugging the toilet once I finally started puking my guts up.
I waited until the sounds of other women faded then finally walked out to check my face. I was definitely pale, but I still looked damn good. I turned sideways to see if the form-fitting gown would give away my secret. Nope. My stomach was still as flat as ever.
How was I going to fake it for the rest of the night? I obviously wasn’t doing a good job since Theo kept asking me what was going on with me. If he only knew. I still hadn’t figured out the right time to tell him about the pregnancy, but his cousin’s wedding certainly wasn’t the place. Especially considering how upset he was going to be. I needed to let him know he didn’t have to be a part of our baby’s life since he clearly had no interest in raising a family.
When I rejoined the table, the first course had already been delivered. Salad, I could handle that.
A waiter appeared, brandishing a bottle of white wine. “Chardonnay?”
Theo glanced at me then pointed to my still full champagne glass. “Do you not like that?”
I shook my head with a lie ready to go. “It wasn’t my favorite, so yes to a glass of wine.”
I knew the fastest way to make people suspicious about what was going on in your womb was to skip alcohol at a party, so I made a point to pretend to sip the champagne and act like I was interested in chardonnay.
“Max, you’re barely eating,” Elena said loudly, drawing everyone’s attention to me and my plate of greens. “You a carnivore or something?”
I laughed. “Sure, I’m saving my appetite for the filet mignon.”
Even saying the words made my stomach dip. I nibbled on a carrot and cucumber and pushed the contents of my plate around until it looked like I’d actually eaten something.
“The dancing starts soon,” Theo said, leaning close to whisper in my ear. “Right after the next course, in between dinner and dessert. I can’t wait to hold you close.”
Goosebumps scattered up my arms. Damn it, I didn’t want him to have this effect on me! I needed to be stony, unmoved by how absolutely incredible he looked in his tux. Or by how much I was dying to float across the floor in his capable arms.
No. I needed to put up walls around my heart. Because tonight was the beginning of the end. It might not seem like it now, but the second Theo heard my news I knew he’d be done with me. I knew he wouldn’t wash his hands of me or our baby—he wasn’t that kind of man. He’d be more than willing to provide whatever financial support we needed. But sticking around, being a dad? He’d made it clear that wasn’t his thing.
“Have I told you how stunning you look tonight?” he whispered.
I hid a smile. “About a dozen times. But thank you.”
Theo ran his hand down his lapels and gave me an expectant look. “Do you have anything you want to say to me?”
“Have I not?”
He shook his head and pretended to be hurt.
“Theo, you look devastating in that tux.” I paused. “But you already know that.”
He burst out laughing. “Yeah, you’re right, I do.”
I couldn’t help laughing, too. It was a moment of fun that made me forget all of the heavy stuff in front of us. In front of me . There was nothing good about what was to come.
A team of waiters cleared our salad plates and began delivering the main course. I caught the scent of warm meat and had to swallow hard.
“Looks incredible,” Theo said, rubbing his hands together like a kid. “I’m starving.”
“ Bon appetit ,” Elena said, brandishing her fork at everyone gathered around the table.
I willed myself to cut in and take a bite. Just one, tiny nibble. The Hasselback potato should be fine to try, too. I hadn’t eaten in hours, so maybe some solid food would counteract the nausea?
I drew my knife across the piece of meat and realized it was rare when a trickle of blood spilled onto the plate.
And that was all it took. I clamped my hand over my mouth and took off for the bathroom again. Theo was deep in conversation with the man seated to his right—I wasn’t sure if he even noticed me leaving, and I wasn’t going to look back to check. I tried doing multiplication tables in my head to stay focused as I dashed toward the bathroom, and I prayed that no one would be in there to witness what was about to go down.
Or up.
Three … two … one … I kicked the door open and ran past a woman walking out, slamming the stall door shut behind me. I bent over and set everything swirling in my stomach free. It felt awful. I dropped to my knees when I could finally breathe again and clutched the bowl.
There was a soft rap on the door. “You okay in there?”
I hadn’t realized anyone else was in the bathroom. I blushed to think they might have overheard me.
“ Mhf ,” I managed as another wave hit me.
“Can I bring you a cool paper towel?”
It sounded like a perfect idea. “Sure. That would be great, thank you.”
I heard the faucet turn on then another soft knock. “Can I come in?”
“Yup.” I sat up straighter and dragged the back of my hand across my mouth, just in case.
The woman who peeked her head in looked like a worried fairy godmother, with a smooth updo of grey hair and a ruffled purple dress.
“Here,” she said, thrusting the paper towels out to me. “How about a drink of water?”
I pressed the cool towels to my forehead and sighed. “No, this is great. Thank you.”
“Did something not agree with you?” she asked in a low voice, giving me a half wink. “A little too much celebrating maybe?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t had a drop.”
Her gaze swept up my body so quickly I almost didn’t catch it. “Well, is there someone I can call for you, sweetheart? So you’re not alone in here?”
“No, I’m good. I think I’m empty now.” I gave her a wan smile.
“Okay then. Good luck, missy. Feel better. We’re going back to the party, but if we don’t see you out there soon I’m going to come right back in here to check on you.”
She shut the door gently, and I heard her murmuring with another woman before they left.
I finally felt well enough to stand up, so I walked to the sink to wash my hands.
A loud banging on the door to the restroom made me jump. “Max, are you okay?”
Theo . What the hell was he doing, tracking me down like this?
He poked his head in looking worried. “Hey. What’s going on with you?”
I tried to fight off the undertow of seasickness pulling me down again. “What? I’m in the bathroom, is that not allowed?”
“Max, you’ve been gone for a half hour.”
I frowned. “Really?”
“Yes, the whole table was asking what happened to you.” He walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. “Is there anyone else in here? Are we alone?”
I glanced around the room and pointed to the open doors on the half dozen stalls. “Yes. Why?”
His face went pale and he stared at me in silence.
Theo finally took a deep breath. “I passed two women coming out of here and I overheard them saying …”
He trailed off then let his eyes drop down my body, just as my gut turned inside out. I clamped my hand over my mouth and ran to the closest stall, slamming the door behind me just in time.
I was mortified that Theo could hear me puking my guts up. His heavy footfalls echoed off the marble, which made it clear that he wasn’t leaving until I came out.
When I finally felt a bit more even-keeled I walked to the sink, avoiding looking at him. I turned on the faucet and cupped my hands under the water so I could rinse my mouth out, then blotted my face with a paper towel.
“Max …” he reached for my hand.
I finally looked at Theo and felt tears inexplicably welling. His eyes searched my face, scanning me like he was trying to read my mind.
“When were you going to tell me?” he whispered, his expression pained.
I jerked my head back, frowning at him. “Tell you what ?”
He sighed. “When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”
I looked down at the floor and didn’t respond. The tears I’d been trying to swallow rolled down my cheeks.
“Hey,” Theo murmured. “It’s okay.”
He pulled me close and folded his arms around me. As much as I wanted to move away, to put distance between us now that we’d reached the beginning of the end, I leaned into his embrace. The tears flowed silently, for what was, and what would never be.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I opened my mouth to remind him of all the things he’d said on the balcony at his condo when the door burst open.
“ Oh !”
A group of three young women in sequins and satin tripped into the bathroom then squealed when they saw Theo.
“It’s okay,” I said quickly as I stepped away from Theo. “We’re leaving. Sorry about that.”
They laughed and stared at him as he walked out, probably wondering what he was doing in the lady’s room with a blotchy, sorry mess like me.
“Do you want to leave?” he asked me, reaching for my hand yet again as we headed for the gardens.
I shook my head. “No, this is an important day for your family, and you belong here with them. I should be fine.”
“But we need to talk about everything.”
He looked down at me with an intensity I’d never seen before. I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“We can, later. For now we need to be here for Jess and Tim, and the rest of your family.”
But the second we hit the top step of the balcony and the wall of noise and smells hit me, I knew there was no way I could fake it much longer.