Chapter 3 Paige
Chapter 3
Paige
“You’re such an ass, Grayson Darling!”
He was lying half asleep on his bed when I arrived, so I picked up a pillow and thumped him with it. He didn’t even flinch, easily plucking the soft, fluffy weapon from my hands. “Hello to you too,” he said with a yawn.
I had let myself in through the back door of the house. My bags were still in the car, but only because I wasn’t sure if I still wanted to bring them inside. Despite my mom’s plans for me while she was away, I was considering finding another family to take me in.
I folded my arms across my chest, but my stern expression only seemed to amuse him as he calmly added the pillow to the one under his head. “I know I’m an ass, but why am I an ass today?”
His brown hair was a mess, and he was dressed in his usual gray sweats, but I could only imagine how the girls at school would react if they were standing where I was: in a Darling Devil’s bedroom while he lay on the bed all sleepy and tousled. I didn’t dare think about how they might react if they knew I was living with him for the next two weeks.
Reed might be the poster boy for the Ransom Devils, but the girls were all drawn to Gray’s quiet magnetism. I frequently heard them talking about how gorgeous he was. How dark, mysterious, and dangerous he was too. Thankfully, most were too scared to approach him, or he’d probably get mobbed every day. I wasn’t deterred by his good looks or his devilish reputation. Especially not when I had a bone to pick with him .
“The muffins I made yesterday were terrible and you didn’t tell me!”
Grayson refused to make eye contact as he replied. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about how I walked around town all day, oblivious to the fact I was handing out toxic muffins.”
I grabbed a pen off his desk and threw it at him to emphasize my point. Even though he wasn’t looking at me, he somehow managed to snatch it from the air. That only made me more annoyed at him.
“I knew they might not be the best, but I didn’t think they were deadly. How could you not tell me? I thought we were always honest with each other.”
“They weren’t deadly.”
“Weren’t they?”
“I’m alive, aren’t I?”
“Well, the cute little mouse we found in my kitchen today definitely isn’t!”
He looked like he was struggling not to laugh, but he managed to keep a straight face as he continued. “Your cooking did not kill a mouse. It must have died of natural causes.”
“It was surrounded by muffin crumbs.”
“Well, has someone conducted an autopsy?”
“This isn’t funny, Gray.”
“I’d never joke about mouseslaughter . . .”
My eyes narrowed on him.
“Maybe I should go stay with Bonnie,” I said, pretending I was deep in thought. “I know her baby sister screams all night long. But I think that might be less painful than this.”
“Stay with Bonnie?” Gray lifted himself slightly up from his relaxed position on the bed. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, didn’t you hear the news? Both my parents have abandoned me for work trips and dumped me on your family until they get back.”
“You’re staying here?”
“I’m supposed to be, yeah.”
“For how long?”
“Two weeks.”
“Two weeks?”
If I wasn’t so committed to being mad at him, I might have laughed. He looked like he was going to self-combust at the prospect. I knew I could be a lot to handle, but surely the idea of me living here wasn’t that bad.
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t planning to steal your bed or finish your Cheerios. Your mom said I can room with Cammie.”
“This isn’t a joke?”
“Do I look like I’m laughing?” He was really struggling to come to terms with this. If he genuinely didn’t want me here, maybe I would have to follow through with my threat and go stay with Bonnie.
“Your mom must have called every other parent in town.”
“Yes, you were most likely a last resort,” I agreed. “But let’s be real, my parents don’t really care where I stay as long as it doesn’t affect their work. ”
Gray’s eyes filled with sympathy and I immediately regretted my words. I was supposed to be mad at him, not seeking his pity, so I quickly added, “But, like I said, I’m still considering my options. I’m sure Bonnie’s parents will have me...”
I started for the door but didn’t make it very far. In an instant, Gray had leaped from his spot on the bed and grabbed hold of my hand. Apparently, he wasn’t so sleepy after all.
“No, wait.” His voice was a little more frantic than I expected. As he spoke, he glanced down at where he held my hand in his. As though shocked by his own decision to reach out to me, he quickly but gently pulled his hand away, lightly brushing my fingers as he did.
“Uh, I mean, you can’t go.”
“Why not?” I demanded.
“Your mom wanted you to stay here. We should really honor her wishes. I know you’re angry with me, but let’s not make any hasty decisions just because of a little misunderstanding over some muffins.”
“Uh, since when do you care about honoring my mom’s wishes? It was hardly a little misunderstanding, and you can’t just hold me hostage.”
Gray’s serious expression relaxed a little and a sparkle returned to his eye. He calmly leaned his shoulder against the doorframe, the urgency he’d shown just a few moments ago now gone.
“Sure, I can. You’re so little, it would be pretty easy.”
I huffed. “I’m not that little.”
“You are. But I think we both know I won’t have to hold you hostage. You need sleep.”
“What?”
“You need sleep like I need food, and you’re not going to get a wink at Bonnie’s house with the baby crying all night.”
“I could wear earplugs . . .”
“Perhaps. But does Bonnie have a secret stash of candy in her room that she lets you raid whenever you visit?”
“Well, no . . .”
He must have sensed he was winning the argument, because his eyes were gleaming with victory. “Then it’s settled. I’ll go get your bags.” Gray set off down the hallway without waiting for my response. He looked so smug, I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if he started humming.
Sometimes being best friends with Grayson was like befriending a brick wall. Strong, reliable, and perfect, if you needed something sturdy to lean on. But also, totally immovable and completely stubborn.
I followed him down to my car, but by the time I’d reached the driveway, he was already making his way back toward the house, his arms laden with my bags. Despite my best efforts, I’d struggled to pack light, so they were somewhat bursting at the seams.
“What did you pack in these?”
“Things . . .”
“Things? Like what? Don’t tell me you packed your entire snow globe collection.”
“Of course I didn’t pack my snow globe collection.” That was just ridiculous. I had way too many and they were far too delicate to just shove into a bag. “And don’t make fun of me. Snow globes are totally cool. ”
“Totally.” I had no idea how he kept such a straight face.
I knew perfectly well just how uncool my snow globes were, but I’d been collecting them with my mom for years. She used to get me a new one every time she went on a work trip, but it had been a long time since she’d remembered, or bothered, to bring one home. These days they were gathering dust on the shelves in my room. I knew it was silly to hold on to them, but I just liked how pretty they were.
Gray muttered something else about the weight of my bags, and I made a move to help him, but he quickly jerked them away.
“I’ve got it.”
I ignored him and made another attempt to help, snatching my school bag off the top of the pile. He gave me a disgruntled look. It was as though I’d somehow undermined his manliness by taking on a little of the load.
“You can let me carry one bag. I have homework to do,” I explained. “Got to honor my mom’s wishes, right?
He simply grunted and heaved my bags the rest of the way to the house.
“Ready to rethink this whole hostage situation?” I called after him.
“Not yet,” he called back. “But ask me again later...”
I was smiling to myself as I followed him inside. Staying here was going to be fun. But it felt a little strange to enter the house, knowing I’d be calling it home for the next couple of weeks. Not in a bad way though. It was strange, because I already felt far more welcome here than I ever did at home .
I loved everything about the Darlings’ house. It was always so warm and cozy, with Grayson’s dad often lighting a fire in the living room during the winter. The scent of Amy’s floral perfume always lingered in the entryway, and countless family photos lined the walls. It was an old house, totally different than my parents’ gaudy new development, and I much preferred it.
The ancient carpets all looked like they had stories to tell, and the lights often flickered thanks to the old wiring Danny kept insisting he’d get around to fixing. The hot water would take ages to come on, the doors had squeaky hinges, and the floor creaked underfoot. You had to thump the TV just right if you wanted to watch ESPN, and I was constantly tripping over discarded crap the boys left lying around. But the place felt full, almost bursting with things and people, and I think it was the chaos of the house that I loved most.
Gray had disappeared upstairs, taking my things to Cammie’s bedroom, but I made my way to the kitchen. I hadn’t been lying about the homework. I had a test in the morning to study for and there were tons of math problems I needed to get started on if I had any hope of finishing before the weekend was over.
As I entered the kitchen, I found Parker raiding the fridge. Stanley, the family’s docile golden retriever, was waiting hopefully at his feet.
“Where’s Amy?” I asked, taking a seat at the kitchen counter and unloading my books. Grayson’s mom was ridiculously good at math, and I was eager to pick her brain .
“Grocery store.” Parker closed the fridge door, his arms laden with junk food. “Given the flap she’s been in about making sure we have enough food for you, you’d think the whole hockey team was coming to stay rather than one tiny human girl.”
“What is it with you Darlings?” I muttered under my breath. “I’m not that small.”
“Well, I can almost guarantee you won’t be once Mom’s done with you.”
“Can’t wait,” I said with a slight grimace. I joined the Darlings for family dinner almost every Sunday night. And almost every Sunday without fail we ended up eating takeout because Amy Darling had a catastrophe in the kitchen. She wasn’t a completely terrible cook, not as bad as me anyway, but she was known for attempting dishes on Sunday nights that were well beyond her capabilities. At least no creature, human or otherwise, had died because of her food.
“So, are you ready for our sleepover?” Parker dumped his snack pile on the counter and started digging through the pantry. Reed and Grayson often got fed up with their younger brother, but I had a soft spot for Parker. Even though he had a habit of getting himself into trouble, and his mouth was always running away from him, he was usually very sweet to me.
“Can we call it a sleepover if it’s for more than one night?” I asked.
“That depends.”
“On?”
“Whether there’s half-naked pillow fights.”
I spluttered out an incredulous laugh. “That’s your definition of a sleepover?”
“I think that’s every guy’s definition of a sleepover.”
“Then we’re definitely not having a sleepover.”
“Shame.” Parker couldn’t have been that disappointed as he shot me a devilish grin. “So, where’s Grumpson?”
“Upstairs. And please don’t call him that. He’s not grumpy.”
“Maybe not around you.”
“He’s no different around me than anyone else.”
“Pfft. Sure.”
“I’m serious. Just because someone doesn’t smile much doesn’t mean they’re unhappy.”
“It does if they’re Grayson.”
No matter how much I defended Gray, people rarely agreed with me—not even his younger brother. His quiet nature often caused others to assume he was grumpy or even angry. To be fair, he usually was when Parker was in the vicinity. He certainly knew how to push Gray’s buttons.
Parker wasn’t the only person who misjudged him. Because of Grayson’s size and strength, he was frequently mistaken as a brute. But you only needed to look into his eyes to see he had the kindest soul. I’d known that since the first time I met him, when we were seven years old. We were at the town pool, and I found him rescuing a bee from the water. He’d fished it out so gently, before I helped him find a safe place to hide it in the rosebushes. It was clear to me then that Gray was someone special, and I’d be lucky to call him my friend .
Did he get moody sometimes? Sure. But who didn’t? It probably didn’t help that he was frequently in pain thanks to an old knee injury. Over the years, I’d made it my own personal mission to try to put a smile on his face as much as possible—well, as close to a smile as he could manage. I wasn’t a hundred percent certain Gray’s lips knew how to curve all the way upward.
“I think you might be the only person who can put up with him,” Parker continued. “If you don’t marry him, he’s going to end up old and alone.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“You’re right.” He nodded. “It’s too late—Grayson already acts like he’s in his eighties.”
“Parker!”
“Paige!” He mimicked me before grinning. “Seriously, when are you going to put him out of his misery and date him already?”
I shook my head. “Please don’t say that. You know we’re just friends.”
“You sure about that?”
I hated it when people asked me that question. It always made me blush, but not for the reason everyone thought. Grayson was everything a girl should want in a boyfriend. He was sweet and loyal and kind. And it didn’t hurt that he was totally gorgeous to look at. But it was something I refused to even consider. We’d been friends for so long, he’d become the most important person in my life; so much more than some passing high school relationship. I didn’t want that to change.
Besides, I knew for a fact he had never considered me in that way either. Grayson could be hard to read, but of this I was certain. In all the time we’d spent together, he’d never done anything that even resembled making a move on me, and not once had he ever checked me out. I’d seen him get more excited over a nice cut of steak than he ever had about me in a cute outfit or in my swimsuit. In fact, just this summer he’d taken one look at me in a bikini and spent the entire day at the lake trying to convince me to put my cover-up back on. I wasn’t really sure what Grayson’s type was, since he wasn’t one to flaunt hookups with other girls. I just knew it wasn’t me.
“Yes, I’m sure. Just friends.”
Parker scoffed his disapproval, but I quickly changed the subject before he could continue. “Any chance you’re a secret mathlete and have been hiding mad algebra skills all this time?”
Parker glanced down at the notebook I’d just opened and scoffed. “Uh, no.”
“So, you’re no good at math?”
“I’m about as good at math as you are at hockey.”
“Hey,” I complained. “I’m not that bad.”
“Last time we played down at the lake, you hid behind Grayson the whole time.”
“A smart tactic, if you ask me. I love you guys, but you know you’re all terrifying as soon as you step on the ice, right?”
Parker beamed with pride.
“Besides,” I added. “I like to think I make up for my lack of hockey prowess with knowledge. Most girls at our school go to the games just to watch you guys. They don’t know an icing call from an offside call. ”
“Sorry, Paige, that doesn’t count.”
“It totally counts.”
“Either way, I can’t help you with your algebra homework. When it comes to math, I have no skill or knowledge.”
“Damn.” I focused down on the page, but as I did Parker’s hand whipped out toward my bag and swiped the bright pink piece of paper that was sticking out the top of my diary.
“Hey!” I cried, trying to snatch it back.
But Parker was too fast and had already danced across to the other side of the kitchen.
“Well, well, well, what have we here?” he mused as I chased after him.
“Give it back, Parker.” But he wasn’t listening. Instead, his eyes were devouring the page.
“Parker!” When I got close to him, I tried to grab the paper, but he lifted it high out of my reach and continued to read. This was a nightmare. He was the last person I wanted to see the list.
“What’s this?” he asked, looking down at me with a glint of mischief in his eyes. He lowered the list, and I finally managed to take it from him.
“Nothing.”
“You seem very upset over nothing.”
“Well, it’s private.”
“Not anymore.”
Perhaps Reed and Grayson were right about Parker. He was the worst.
“Looked like some kind of list to me...” he continued.
“Yeah, for groceries.”
He folded his arms over his chest. “If it’s just groceries, then I’m sure you’ll be happy to let me see it again.”
I groaned up at the ceiling. “You’re really not going to leave this alone, are you?”
“Nope.”
“Not even if I ask nicely?”
“Especially not if you ask nicely.”
I released a sigh. “Fine. You’re right. It is a list. It’s my senior year bucket list.” He looked confused so I tried to explain. “You know, all the things I want to do before I graduate.”
“Yeah, I get that,” he replied. “What I don’t get is why I saw ‘knitting’ and ‘ballroom dancing’ on it.”
I didn’t really want to get into the reasons the list existed with Parker. He didn’t need to know that I’d started it as a way to find my one true passion, so I could prove to my parents there was more to life than getting a boring office job and climbing the corporate ladder. Somewhere along the line, the list had expanded to include all sorts of things I felt I needed to try before high school came to an end. I decided to give Parker the short version of the story.
“Because I’ve never done those things before, and I wanted to try them,” I said. “And knitting has been ticked off the list already. Don’t you remember the mittens I gifted you at the start of winter?”
“Oh yeah, I wondered why you gave me those.” He paused for a moment but then snatched the list away from me again, completely ignoring my complaints as he read through it.
“Yoga?” he muttered. “And baking? Is that why you made those muffins? ”
“Yes.” He sounded confused, but I was struggling to see the issue. “Is that a problem?”
He glanced up at me like I’d somehow let him down. “The problem, Paige, is if this is really a senior year bucket list, then baking shouldn’t be on here. If anything, you should be trying to get baked.”
Of course that was Parker’s advice.
“I’m serious,” he continued. “This is the worst-looking bucket list I’ve ever seen in my—wait, what’s this one...” His voice trailed off as his eyes caught on something toward the bottom of the list. When he looked back up at me, his face was covered in shock. “‘My first kiss’?”
“Oh no.” He’d found the final item—one that remained very much unchecked. I’d forgotten it was even there, probably because I’d given up hope of ever completing it. “Please forget you just read that.”
“Paige, how the hell have you never kissed anyone?”
I wanted to crawl under the table, curl up, and die. Unfortunately, the smirk on Parker’s lips made it clear that he’d taunt me about this even beyond the grave.
“I don’t know,” I protested. “I just haven’t gotten around to it.”
“Haven’t gotten around to it? This isn’t a homework assignment, Paige.” He shook his head like he couldn’t have been more disappointed in me. “Does Grayson know about your virgin lips?”
“Oh my god.” I buried my head in my hands, my cheeks flaming hot.
“Well, does he?” Parker continued, totally unfazed by the fact I was shriveling into a corpse in front of him.
“No,” I replied. “I don’t see how it’s any of Grayson’s business.”
“Because everything about you is Grayson’s business.”
“Whatever.” I finally dropped my hands. “Just please don’t tell him, or anyone for that matter.”
“I think I have better things to do with my time than gossip about you, Paige. But you really do need to fix that situation.” He gestured at my lips with one hand and eyed them with distaste. “And fast. You can’t finish high school without being kissed.”
“Yes, I realize that. Which is why it’s on my list.”
Parker scrunched up his nose at the bright pink piece of paper that was still clutched in his hands.
“So, how do we fix this?” he asked.
“ We don’t do anything. I don’t need your help, Parker.”
He responded by holding the list in front of my face and pointing at the final item on it. “Clearly you do, or this would have been checked off a long time ago.” Apparently, I was getting Parker’s advice whether I wanted it or not.
“It’s not that easy . . .”
“It should be. You’re pretty hot. Just pick a guy and smack him with your lips.”
I think Parker was trying to be nice—in a Parker kind of way—but it was only making my humiliation worse. “You think I haven’t tried that?”
“If you’d really tried, then this item wouldn’t even be on the list,” he replied. “Seriously, Paige. Just writing it down on a piece of paper doesn’t count as trying. You can put bait on the hook, but if you don’t lower it into the water, you’re never going to catch a fish. ”
“My hook has been in the water.”
“Has it?”
I lifted my hands in the air. “Maybe the fish just don’t like this kind of bait.”
“You’re the most likeable girl I know, Paige. If you were fishing properly, the guys would bite.”
My cheeks warmed at his compliment. At least, I think he was being complimentary. In true Parker fashion, it somehow managed to sound both crude and sweet all at once.
I released a heavy sigh as I thought over what he’d said. He might think I’m likeable, but I wasn’t sure that was helpful. No one wanted to kiss someone just because they were nice. I needed more to go on than that.
“So, how do you suggest I ‘fish properly’?” I asked. “Because sometimes it feels like I’ve got some kind of built-in boy repellent. As soon as any guy gets close and I think he might potentially like me, he’ll vanish. Poof. Gone.”
Parker raised an eyebrow. “Built-in boy repellent?”
“Yes.” I folded my arms. “It’s a thing.”
“Oh, I’m sure it is. But I don’t think that’s your problem.”
“You don’t?”
“Let’s just say, I suggest you start by searching for fish that don’t scare so easy...”
I shook my head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He shrugged.
“Parker . . .”
“Come on, Paige. You can’t be surprised the fish are all hiding under rocks when you’re sitting on the bank next to a giant grizzly bear. ”
I blinked at him as I tried to figure out what on earth he was talking about. He was really taking this fishing analogy too far. “Like, metaphorically? Is my personality the bear, or—”
“Grayson! Grayson’s the bear!” he shouted. “He scowls at any guy who comes within a ten-foot radius of you.”
My heart stopped. “What?”
“Your best friend is terrifying. The other day there was lettuce instead of beef in his sandwich, and the look on his face when he went to complain sent the lunch lady running home in tears. Why else would any guy avoid a girl like you?”
“You know how Grayson gets about his food...” I murmured.
Parker looked at me like I was missing the point.
Surely he was exaggerating. I tried to recall Grayson scowling at any guys on my behalf. It was a little hard to remember any specific incident though. Grayson spent most of his life with a scowl on his face. But I still refused to believe Parker. Grayson only wanted the best for me. I was sure if there had been any guy-scaring, it was just another example of how easily people misunderstood Gray.
“I don’t know, Parker. It sounds a little silly. He would never do something like that on purpose.”
“I didn’t say he does it on purpose. Trust me, he doesn’t have to.”
I opened and closed my mouth several times as I tried to figure out how to keep arguing with him. But I didn’t know what else to say. Could Parker be right? Was the reason I’d never been kissed simply the fact I hung out with our school’s scariest bear ?
I tried to think of all the times my natural boy repellent had reared its ugly head. There was Jon Spencer in freshman year, who stood me up without warning on what would have been my first date. Last year, when I was playing spin the bottle, Justin Chen refused to kiss me when it landed on him. Just this summer at a party, I’d been dancing with Drew Moskowitz, and I could have sworn he wanted to kiss me, but he suddenly claimed it was past his curfew and he had to get home. It was only 7 p.m.! It was no wonder I’d given up on having my first kiss after all that trauma.
“I’m back,” Amy called from the front of the house. “I hope you’re all hungry. I’m making pad thai.”
Grayson entered the room as she spoke, carrying some of his mom’s shopping bags. He shuddered at her words. “That sounds ambitious. Does Mom even know what pad thai is?”
“Guess we’re about to find out.” Parker grimaced.
I laughed quietly at the two of them, though I was still distracted by my conversation with Parker. Was Grayson really the reason I’d never kissed anyone? Why no boys ever asked me out? Why they literally ran in the opposite direction when I dared to get close? I’d always assumed there was something wrong with me. But was my biggest problem my choice of best friend?
Parker leaned in close, lowering his voice as he handed my precious pink bucket list back to me. “Just think about what I said.” He gave me an encouraging smile before he left the room, a trail of unanswered questions and uncertainty behind him .
“What was that about?” Grayson asked as I stared after his younger brother.
I quickly tucked my list back into my diary before Grayson could spot it. It was bad enough Parker had seen its contents. “He was just helping with my algebra homework.”
“Really? Parker? Algebra?”
“Yeah, he can be useful sometimes, you know.”
Grayson snorted in disbelief. “And was this one of those times?”
“I’m not sure yet.” He’d certainly left me with a lot to consider. I’d all but written off having my first kiss before the year was through. But Parker made it sound possible. Maybe even easy. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so quick to give up on it. Perhaps I just needed to try a little harder. And, if Parker was right, that started by having a difficult conversation with my best friend.