Chapter 5 Paige
Chapter 5
Paige
“I still can’t believe you’re sleeping with the Darling Devils!” Bonnie gasped as she appeared beside my locker at the start of lunch. She was sporting a new pixie haircut today, and it seemed to have given her even more attitude than normal. While Grayson was my best friend, Bonnie had been giving him a run for his money ever since she moved to town in freshman year. Though if she kept shouting things like that for everyone to hear, I might have to reconsider our friendship entirely.
“Would you keep it down?” I hissed as several girls glanced over at us. “I’m staying at their house, not sleeping with them.”
Bonnie flashed a wicked grin. “It’s pretty much the same thing.”
“It’s definitely not.”
She shrugged away my concern and focused on straightening her blazer. She was always so well put together at school, as though she could be called away on an assignment for the school newspaper at any moment. She took her role as editor of the Devil’s Advocate very seriously. But once the weekend arrived, her wild side came out and she favored sky-high heels and little black dresses. She’d always been far more fashionable than me .
“I’m sorry you couldn’t stay with me,” she added. “But not that sorry. I think I might have done you a favor. I’d pick sleeping with three hot hockey players over a screaming baby any day. Tabitha is still a nightmare.”
“Technically, if I’m sleeping with anyone, it’s Cammie.”
“She’s hot too,” Bonnie replied, though the amusement in her eyes quickly dimmed. “But she is mildly terrifying. Did you have to sleep with one eye open last night?”
“Of course not. Cammie isn’t that bad.”
“I heard she threatened to cut off her last skating partner’s balls with a pair of skates...”
“She must have been having a bad day.”
“I’ll say,” Bonnie agreed with a laugh. “But enough about your psycho new sleep buddy. You said you had news to tell me? Spill.”
I drew in a deep breath. “Parker found my bucket list.”
“So?”
“So, there’s an item on it that I would prefer he didn’t know about, but now he and Grayson both do.”
“I’m lost.” Bonnie shook her head. “I thought the list was just a bunch of hobbies you wanted to try out. What’s so embarrassing about this one thing?”
Bonnie was one of the few people aware of my list, but I wasn’t sure she really understood it. Unlike me, she knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life and how to get there. Inquisitive by nature and capable of digging up dirt on pretty much anyone or anything, she was destined to fulfill her dreams of reporting for a major national newspaper. I was still working out what my dreams were. The list was meant to help with that .
I’d come up with all sorts of things I could try to help find my passion in life. I’d started a veggie patch, then tried to learn an instrument. I’d volunteered as a candy striper at the local hospital and offered a dog-walking service on the weekends. I’d tried to sew a dress, taken a woodworking class, and auditioned for the school play. I’d even spent a day in Danny Darling’s garage.
Nothing had stuck. My vegetables had died, one of the dogs had escaped, and the dress I made looked like a last-minute Halloween costume. Bonnie had watched me go from one failure to another, and I could never work out whether she thought it was hilarious, heartbreaking, or just plain boring.
I found trying all these different things was fun though. The list was also forcing me to get outside my comfort zone and experience things I never would have otherwise. So, any time I thought of something I wanted to do before I graduated, I added it to the bottom of the page. The kissing—well, I was seriously regretting that addition now.
I fished the list out of my bag and handed it over to her. “See for yourself. It’s the one at the end.”
Her eyes darted to the bottom of the page, and she immediately started to grin. “That’s what you’re worried about? I’ve told you before, there’s nothing embarrassing about the fact you haven’t kissed anyone. It’s just a little bad luck. If you really want to, I’m sure we could make it happen in no time. ”
“Except it’s not bad luck.”
She gave me a curious look as she waited for me to explain. We’d reached the entrance to the cafeteria, and I pulled her aside so people wouldn’t overhear.
“It’s Grayson,” I whispered. “He’s been scaring guys away from me.”
Bonnie was silent for a moment but then she let out a laugh. “Oh, of course he has.”
“It’s not funny.” She was taking this far better than I had. “And why don’t you seem surprised?”
“Because this totally explains your guy problems,” she replied. “You’re like Rapunzel—trapped in a tower with a fire-breathing dragon keeping guard. The beast is so terrifying, only the bravest knights in the land would consider battling it to rescue you.”
“Gray isn’t a dragon.”
“Oh yes, he is. Scales and all.” She grinned. “Your very own personal dragon. It’s actually pretty cool. I’m jealous.”
I rubbed a hand across my forehead. “What if I don’t want to be rescued?”
“You don’t want a brave warrior to ascend your tower, clamber into your highest room and release you?”
I poked her in the ribs. Hard.
“There’s something wrong with you, Bon. I meant, I don’t need protecting from guys, and I certainly don’t need releasing .”
“Pity.” She looked thoughtful. “Maybe Grayson’s just going to have to make it up to you then...” She let the end of her sentence drift, as if I was supposed to know what she was implying. When I didn’t respond, she filled in the blank for me.
“With his lips, Paige!”
“No, Bonnie!” I shook my head. “He’s already agreed to help, but not like that. I’ve asked him to back off and maybe talk me up around the guys a bit. That’s more than enough.”
She let out a short, disbelieving laugh. “Look, Paige, you’re desperate for a guy to kiss, and Grayson is one of the hottest guys in school. Most girls would kill to have him pay them a fraction of the attention he pays you. I’m surprised you haven’t made a move on him already.”
“I’m not desperate for a guy to kiss!” I protested, still doing my best not to draw attention to myself, but it was getting more difficult as I became more flustered. “And it’s not like that between me and Gray. You know we’re just friends.”
“Yeah, well, I think if you threw in a little kissing, you’d be a match made in heaven.” She emphasized her point by making kissing sounds in the air.
“Stop!” I pressed my hand over her mouth. “I’m not kissing Gray!”
“It could just be a one-time thing.” Her voice was muffled as my hand was still clamped across her lips, so I pulled it away. “I bet he’s a great kisser...”
I immediately wished I hadn’t released her mouth.
“We’re not kissing, that would be totally weird. And, more importantly, I don’t want my first kiss to be a pity kiss. I could think of nothing worse. ”
“Okay, okay. You’re right,” Bonnie finally agreed. “Besides, there’s plenty of eligible bachelors at this school.” Her face lit up as a group of boys on the athletics team wandered by. “How do you feel about runners?”
“I’m not going to pick the first guy that walks past.” I’d never even spoken to any of those boys.
“Fine,” Bonnie conceded, although she was soon smirking again. “But would it be the worst idea to choose a guy who can run fast? At least he could escape if Grayson came after him...”
I decided I’d heard enough and started into the cafeteria. Bonnie was chuckling as she caught up with me. I knew she was joking around, but the thought of selecting a guy to kiss felt daunting. I’d never really considered or noticed just how many different guys went to our school. So many eligible bachelors to choose from, as Bonnie had put it. In my case, it just felt like a ton of different ways to experience rejection. This wasn’t going to be as easy as Bonnie made it sound.
I turned to my friend as soon as we sat at our usual table, and she pulled out her packed lunch. She’d refused to eat anything from the school cafeteria ever since she’d done an expos é on the lunch menu for the paper. With the nerves currently thrumming through me, I wasn’t sure I could stomach the food today either.
“How on earth am I supposed to pick a guy?”
“That’s where I come in, obviously.” She looked almost too eager, and I felt both a sense of relief and trepidation at her enthusiasm. Bonnie knew everything about everyone at this school, so I had no doubt she was the perfect person to figure out who was the right guy for me .
“You really want to help?”
“Of course I do!” Her expression quickly shifted as she went into investigation mode. “We’ll start with the most obvious question. Are you interested in anyone?”
“Uh... not really.” The sad truth was I’d all but given up on guys. It felt pointless when none of them seemed to like me back.
“No one? Are you sure?” Bonnie pressed me for an answer.
“Not at the moment.”
It wasn’t like I’d never crushed on a guy before, but I certainly couldn’t think of anyone recently. Was there something wrong with me? I should be able to get my heart fluttering over at least one boy, right? Unless I’d just closed it off to protect myself.
“Hmm, okay,” Bonnie muttered. “I guess that just means every boy has potential. We’ll have to narrow it down a little though. Ideally, he’ll be someone who hasn’t already been intimidated by Grayson.”
“You know what his reputation’s like,” I replied. “That could rule out every boy in school.”
“Surely not every boy.” When Bonnie caught my dubious expression, she quickly continued. “Okay, so, maybe we’ll need to search a little further afield. But don’t stress, Paige. Even if we have to go all the way to Antarctica, we’ll find you a guy.”
That did not sound promising, but Bonnie wasn’t letting anything deter her. “There’s a hockey after-party this weekend. That would be the perfect chance for a first kiss...”
“You think I should kiss someone this weekend?” Things were already happening too fast for my liking. “You just said we were going to have to go to Antarctica to find this guy!”
“I mean, it’s ambitious, but why not? It’s always helpful to have deadlines.”
I was running out of ways to argue with her. And, in all honesty, this first kiss was quickly becoming like a rotting Band-Aid on my arm. It had been left there for far too long and needed ripping off as soon as possible.
“Maybe we can start making a shortlist now?” she suggested. “We can see what kind of guy you like and then start refining our selection.”
“Oh, okay, sure.” That didn’t sound too bad.
But then she started pointing at every guy that passed. “Dave is sweet, but everyone knows he puts the horn in horny. Oh, you wouldn’t guess it, but Jackson has a six-pack under those Spider-Man tees. There’s Harvey? Everyone knows he has great hands on the field, but I hear they’re even better off it... And Derek—nice guy, but we should probably rule him out. I sit in front of him in English, and he has a serious case of halitosis...”
“Bonnie!” I grabbed her hand, yanking it down beneath the table to stop her from being so obvious. “Are you trying to kill me with embarrassment?”
She laughed. “What? I’ve finally found a good use for my years of observing our fellow students.”
I buried my head in my hands. “I can’t believe I’m already regretting asking for your help.”
“What? I have great taste in guys.”
“Your taste is questionable at best. Just last week you were drooling over that guy on the Netflix show we were watching.”
“And . . .”
“Bon, it was a documentary about a serial killer.”
She laughed. “Speaking of tall, dark, and scary...” She looked up and over my shoulder, just as Grayson cleared his throat behind me.
“Room for one more?”
He was carrying a heaving tray of food, and his expression was as stoic as usual, but I could still make out some uncertainty in his eyes. He didn’t always sit with us at lunch, so maybe he was worried he was interrupting.
“Always.” I smiled up at him. “You know you don’t have to ask.”
“We’re just doing some talent-scouting,” Bonnie said.
Grayson gave me a questioning look, and I had to resist kicking Bonnie under the table. She’d already embarrassed me enough times in the last few minutes, and I was even more mortified at the idea of Grayson being around to hear her comments.
“Uh, Bonnie’s helping me find the perfect guy.” Gray’s expression didn’t change, so I continued. “You know, for that one particular item on my bucket list.”
He let out a low grunt of understanding before lowering himself into the seat at my side. I was struck by the subtle scent of his woodsy cologne, and as his arm brushed mine, I somehow felt warmer and calmer. I was always more relaxed when Grayson was near.
“You’re really serious about this, huh?” He mumbled the words, so I wasn’t sure if he was genuinely asking me or just talking to himself .
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
All I got for an answer was another of Grayson’s trademark grunts, before he changed the subject.
“I saw you hadn’t gotten lunch yet, so I grabbed you a few things.” He nodded at his tray. “I hope you’re hungry.”
I lifted one eyebrow at how blatantly he’d avoided my question, but that was Gray. It was going to take him some time to get on board with all this. He was probably still trying to wrap his head around the fact that his best friend was a girl who had lips capable of kissing.
I looked down at his tray, piled high with food. He had enough there to feed a hockey team. Well, maybe not his hockey team—those guys all attacked each meal like it was their last. Especially the Darling boys.
“You sure you’ve got enough for me? I wouldn’t want to leave you hungry.”
“Of course. I can’t eat all of this.”
“You shouldn’t want to eat any of that,” Bonnie scoffed under her breath before taking a bite of her home-made sandwich.
I laughed and did my best to ignore her vendetta against the cafeteria. “I know you, Gray. You can get a little touchy when you haven’t eaten enough.”
“I’m always a little touchy,” he replied. “Just take what you want, Pidge.”
I took a closer look at his enormous lunch. The pizza must be for me—Gray knew it was my favorite. I also assumed the bag of gummy worms were for me too, because he never really ate candy, so I went for them first. “Thanks. ”
“You’re welcome,” he rumbled.
“You guys, can we get back to the matter at hand, please?” Bonnie waved at the rest of the cafeteria. “Your first kiss isn’t going to pick himself, Paige.”
“Damn,” Grayson cursed. “I forgot the ketchup.”
“I’ll go,” I said, jumping up from my seat. I was only too eager for the excuse to leave. Bonnie’s lips tightened. She knew exactly what I was doing. But I was up and away from the table before she could stop me.
I took my time grabbing the sauce, happy to delay my return as long as possible. Was it too much to hope the end-of-lunch bell might ring?
When I got back to the table, I expected to find Bonnie and Grayson sitting in uncomfortable silence. It’s not that they didn’t get along, but they didn’t exactly have a lot in common either. Unfortunately, as I walked up, it sounded like they were arguing about something.
“What about Levi?” Bonnie said.
“He’s too selfish,” Gray replied without hesitation.
“Tyler?”
“He’s mean to his mom.”
“Elliot? I know he’s in the year below us, but he’s hot and he’s on the team with you.”
“Definitely not. He never owns up to his mistakes.”
Oh no. I should have known Bonnie couldn’t be trusted. The idea of her dragging Grayson into this made me want to hide under the table and never come out. Already, he was surveying every guy in the room as though he were a border-patrol officer searching for contraband .
Looking at him now, I wondered how I hadn’t seen it earlier. How I hadn’t realized he was the reason guys avoided me like the plague. I felt like I was in a Jane Austen novel, and he was my overly protective father trying to find me the ideal suitor.
Bonnie sighed, exasperated.
“Okay, you come up with a name then.”
Grayson shrugged. I was beginning to think I should interrupt them. At the very least, let them know I was here. But I was both horrified and intrigued by their conversation, and I couldn’t bring myself to intervene.
Bonnie continued, “Well, if no one else is good enough for her, perhaps her best friend should step up to the plate...” She leaned back in her seat, a satisfied smile on her face as she waited for Grayson to reply.
I knew I should have returned to the table when I had the chance. What was Bonnie thinking? I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear Gray’s answer, and I instinctively started to back away. But he spoke before I could escape.
“We’re friends. I’m the last person Paige should kiss.”
I expected to feel relief. He was only repeating what we’d both said to people countless times before. It was something I’d already said myself at least once today. But a small part of me flickered with disappointment. Did Grayson really find me so unappealing?
“I’m back,” I said as brightly as I could, placing the ketchup packets on Grayson’s tray.
“Thanks,” he murmured, keeping his eyes on his food. He was probably still grossed out by Bonnie’s suggestion and trying his best not to shudder at the mental image of kissing his best friend .
“Finally,” Bonnie said. “I’ve had some time to think while you were gone.”
Alarm bells were already ringing as I lowered myself into my seat. “Okay...”
“Since Grayson joined our table, I swear zero guys have walked by it.” She shot him an accusatory look, but he remained focused on his food.
“So . . .” he muttered.
“So, a freshly sharpened blade would be less cutting than your stare. People literally take a detour to avoid you.”
“I’m just sitting here, eating lunch,” he grumbled.
“Exactly,” Bonnie replied. “The ‘Grayson effect’ is clearly even worse than I realized. I think you need to give us a list of all the guys you haven’t scared the hell out of already...”
Gray’s eyes snapped up from his tray and he glanced between Bonnie and me. He was clearly surprised I’d told her about the so-called “Grayson effect,” and I felt a little guilty.
“How am I supposed to know who’s scared of me and who isn’t?” Gray protested. “I didn’t do the scaring intentionally.”
“You must have some idea,” Bonnie replied. “Which guys talk to you? Which guys have you threatened, accidentally or otherwise? Which guys see you in the corridor and run the other way?”
She folded her arms as she waited for his answer. I was eager to hear it too.
“Like, are we talking this week,” he said, “or...”
I released a groan and turned to Bonnie again. “We really are going to have to go to the ends of the earth to find someone for me, aren’t we?”
“I’m sure it’s not that bad. We can—” She paused, and her eyes darted to something behind me, before a slow smirk lifted the corner of her lips. “Well, hello, Antarctica.”
We followed her gaze to the cafeteria entrance. Reed had just walked in, and he was standing with a guy I didn’t recognize. He was massive, perhaps even taller than Reed and Gray, with tanned skin and sandy-blond hair that fell so softly it was like something out of a shampoo commercial. I couldn’t quite see his face properly from where I was sitting, but even at this angle it was easy to tell he was good-looking.
“Oh. My. God.” Bonnie said, shaking her head. “How did I not think of this before.”
“Think of what?” I turned away from the mystery guy to face her.
“That must be the new guy everyone’s been talking about today,” she explained.
She wasn’t the only one who appeared intrigued. Every eye in the room had turned to greet our newest arrival. There was nothing more fascinating than a new student at school. Especially one who joined midway through the year and had already made friends with Reed Darling, the reluctant king of Ransom High.
“New guy?” I wondered out loud. “I hadn’t heard about that.”
“I only found out this morning,” Bonnie replied. “It’s his first day. And do you know what that means?” She didn’t miss a beat before she answered her own question. “He’s a blank slate. Untainted by Grayson’s infamous reputation. The perfect candidate for your first kiss! ”
“You’re right...” I quickly turned to look for him once more. But he and Reed had disappeared into a crowd of people. My heart was starting to race, but I couldn’t be sure if it was driven by nerves, excitement, or something else. I had no idea who this guy was. I didn’t know if he had a nice smile or a friendly face. I didn’t even know his name. But he was exactly what I needed: someone who Grayson hadn’t scared off.
Gray grunted his disapproval.
“See, even Grayson thinks you should go for it,” Bonnie continued. “He looks hot. And he’s so tall. You’d have to climb him like a tree if you want a kiss, but that’s half the fun...”
Before I could tell Bonnie to keep her voice down, a strangled noise sounded from Grayson.
I turned to see what was up with him now, but I was shocked to find his face had turned a shade of pink I hadn’t seen before.
“Oh my god. Gray! Are you okay?”
He nodded and held up his hand, as if he was trying to tell me he just needed a moment. But I wasn’t sure he had a moment. It sounded like he was choking on his lunch.
I leaned over and smacked him on the back. He didn’t even flinch. Had I done it right? He was so big, he probably needed far more force than I could muster. I really wished I’d paid more attention when we’d learned first aid, because I had no idea what to do. I gave him another hard slap on the back, and he appeared to cough something up. I held my breath as I waited to see if I’d done enough. His face was still bright red. Perhaps one final thump to be sure? I lifted my hand, but Gray interrupted me before I could bring it back down .
“You can stop beating me up now.”
I slowly lowered my arm. “Are you okay?”
He coughed to clear his throat. “I’m fine.”
He didn’t look fine.
“Seriously, Paige.” He grabbed his bottle of water and took a long drink.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Because if you’re still choking, I think you’re too big for me to do the Heimlich on.”
“Like I said, I’m fine.”
“Should I call Parker or Reed over here?”
“If you get one of my brothers, I’ll wish my lunch had already finished me off.”
I relaxed and settled back in my seat. “Just chew your food properly next time, okay?”
I glanced at Bonnie, who’d been sitting back, watching this all unfold, and appeared to have thoroughly enjoyed it.
“Way to burst into action and help, Bon,” I said. “Remind me never to choke around you.”
The bell rang, and Bonnie jumped from her seat, still smirking. “I’ve got to go.” She scrambled to gather her things. “I have to stop by the newsroom before class. But don’t worry about our hunt for the perfect set of lips. I’ve got a good feeling about the new guy. ”
“I haven’t even met him! He could be crazy.”
“As long as he’s crazy good at kissing, that’s all that matters.” She grinned at me over her shoulder and was gone.
“I’m beginning to wonder if asking Bonnie for help was a bad idea,” I said as Grayson and I slowly followed the rest of the students out of the cafeteria. “Although, she’s enthusiastic, I’ll give her that—” I paused when I heard our names being called.
“Grayson? Paige?”
Turning to find the source of the voice, I was met with a pair of bright blue eyes, tanned skin and sandy-blond hair—it was the new guy. And for some reason he had a large smile bursting from his lips. It took me a moment as I tried to figure how he knew us, but as I looked into his eyes I was hit by recognition.
“Damien?” I gasped.
Gray stiffened beside me. Bonnie’s number-one pick for my first kiss wasn’t just some new guy. He was also my first friend. My first crush. The boy who got away.
And now he was back.