Chapter 9 Paige
Chapter 9
Paige
Despite the many pep talks I gave myself on the way to the party, I was undeniably anxious by the time we arrived. The pressure of trying to land my first kiss was making me jittery, and it didn’t help that the weather started turning on the way here. It felt like a storm was brewing and I seriously hoped I was wrong. I’d hated storms ever since I was little, when lightning struck a tree outside my house while I was sleeping. A branch had cracked and come crashing in through my bedroom window. Now, whenever a storm rolled in, it felt as though it was bringing something ominous with it.
I took a deep breath and reminded myself, although the clouds looked dark, there was only a little wind and light rain. That didn’t mean there would be thunder and lightning too. This wasn’t a bad omen, and it didn’t mean tonight wasn’t going to go well.
I smoothed a hand over my outfit as I glanced around the living room. The party hadn’t been going long, but already Matt’s house was packed. People were pressed up against one another as they danced to the pumping music that filled the room, and I struggled to imagine Damien and I doing the same thing. Was this really the place I’d experience my first kiss? It certainly wasn’t romantic. I wasn’t even sure if it was appealing.
“Is everything okay?” Bonnie asked.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
She waited for me to explain.
“What if I don’t click with Damien? What if I decide he’s not the guy I want to kiss tonight? What if I do, but he doesn’t want me?” It was the last question I feared the most.
“If he doesn’t want you, then he’s an idiot.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Of course.” She smiled. “But, if by some shocking stroke of bad luck I’m wrong, or you change your mind, then we’ll find another guy. He can’t be the only person in town you could possibly kiss.”
“I think he might be,” I grumbled. “And I don’t want to literally go all the way to Antarctica.”
“Me neither.” She laughed. “Just stick to our plan and see what happens. If there’s a problem, we’ll figure out a Plan B. Maybe we’ll give spin the bottle another crack.”
I cringed at the thought.
“For now,” Bonnie continued, “let’s just think positively, yeah?”
“You’re right.” I released a breath. “The nerves are just getting to me.”
She reached out and squeezed my arm. “It’s going to be okay, Paige.”
It was easy enough for her to say—she already had kissing experience. Still, I returned my attention to the party and tried to get my head in the game. I had a mission tonight, and there was no chance I’d succeed if I kept freaking out like this.
“Can you see Damien anywhere?”
Bonnie gave a cursory glance around the room and shrugged. “He’s probably out back with the other hockey players.”
I nodded in agreement. Gray, Reed, and all the other guys on the hockey team usually hung out in Matt’s rec room during his parties. Damien already appeared to be getting on with his new teammates pretty well, and had been sitting with the other players at lunch all week.
“Let’s go get him.” Bonnie reached for my hand, but I hesitated to take it.
“You don’t think it’s too early in the night to try to kiss him?”
“I don’t know, but I’m certain it’s not going to happen if you two are in different rooms.”
“Okay. I guess we could at least do some recon.”
She grinned as I placed my hand in hers and allowed her to lead me out back. But as we passed the kitchen, Bonnie stopped in her tracks and nodded through the doorway. There were only a few people in there, and I immediately spotted Damien. My stomach dipped at the sight of him. As I watched him talk to Elliot, I realized everything about Damien stood out. His height, his good looks; even his clothes were far too nice for a Ransom High party. His knitted sweater and khakis wouldn’t have looked out of place in a menswear catalog.
Even when we were kids, Damien was always popular and good-looking, and staring at him now, I struggled to spot a single fault. He was flawless—almost to the point where it was a little hard to believe he was real. His hair fell in idyllic waves, his teeth were sparkling white, and his cheekbones gave his features a striking edge. He was too good to be true, and I wondered if kissing him would feel the same. Surely he couldn’t be gorgeous, talented, and a good kisser .
“There just has to be something wrong with him,” I murmured before glancing at Bonnie. “Don’t you think?”
“I think it sounds like you’re trying to psych yourself out again.”
Grayson wasn’t around to sabotage my chances now, but apparently, I was doing a great job of it all by myself. I tried my best to push my fears aside. “Okay, so, what am I supposed to do again?”
“Just go talk to him. Flirt a little.”
I didn’t know the first thing about flirting. I wasn’t sure I’d ever even done it. At least, not intentionally. What if I made a fool of myself?
“But, Bon, what if I’m bad at flirting?”
“You won’t be,” she said firmly. “You know how to talk to guys. Your best friend is a guy.”
“That’s different.” Talking to boys you were friends with wasn’t the same as trying to get one to kiss you. I’d never worried about or second-guessed what I said to Gray. Right now, my thoughts were churning so fast I wasn’t sure I’d be able to say anything to Damien at all.
“It’s not that different,” Bonnie insisted. “Just be yourself, but a bit sexier. Be fun but a little coy. Make sure you smile and laugh at anything he says. But not too much. You need to leave him wanting more. Got it?”
No, I didn’t get it at all. How was I supposed to do all those things at once?
“I think I need more time to prepare for this. Maybe we should try a bit later...” Maybe later I’d have built up the courage to go through with this, or maybe I’d just abandon the endeavor entirely. Maybe I could just have my first kiss in college. Or not at all.
“Do you want to kiss someone, or not?” Bonnie demanded.
“I mean, yeah . . .”
“And is Damien the guy you want?”
“Uh . . .”
“You know the answer’s yes, Paige.” Someone was pouring shots on the counter just inside the door and Bonnie reached over and snatched two of them.
“Hey!”
She ignored the guy’s protests, smiling at me instead. “Now, down this and get in there before you chicken out.”
I hesitated as she handed me a glass.
“Bottoms up,” she ordered.
I scrunched up my nose and downed the drink, before she handed me hers as well. “You need this more than me,” she said, gesturing for me to drink that too.
I knew I was going to regret this in the morning, but I did as I was told and quickly drank the second shot.
“Much better,” Bonnie said. “Now, get in there and flirt your little butt off. I’ll text you with a pickup line to use in case your brain goes blank. And if all else fails, tell him you need the bathroom and bail.”
“That’s really not very help—”
“Stop stalling.” She gave me a shove and I stumbled through the doorway into the kitchen. A couple of people gave me strange looks, but thankfully Damien was still deep in conversation and hadn’t noticed. I shot Bonnie a glare over my shoulder, but she simply winked and walked away. I wasn’t sure whether I should be relieved she’d gone or feel totally abandoned .
“Okay, I can do this,” I muttered as I turned to face Damien once more. The kitchen was large, but he wasn’t that far from me. I wished the distance between us was greater, so I had more time to gather my thoughts. I couldn’t remember any of Bonnie’s advice. She’d encouraged me to laugh, maybe? And said something about leaving him wanting more? But more of what, exactly? God, this was a nightmare.
My phone buzzed, and the tightness in my chest eased a little when I saw Bonnie’s name pop up. She’d actually sent me a line to use. The moment I opened the message though, I regretted it.
Bonnie: I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me instead?
I texted her back straightaway.
Me: I am not saying that.
Bonnie: Ugh. Fine. Be boring. Tell him your phone’s broken because it doesn’t have his number in it.
Me: That’s just as bad.
Bonnie: How about, I know we don’t have any classes together, but I think we have chemistry.
Me: I don’t take chemistry.
Bonnie: Obviously!
“Paige?” I glanced up and found Damien staring down at me. Apparently, while Bonnie and I had been texting, I’d somehow ended up right in front of him.
My brain emptied as I tried to figure out what to say. All I needed was a simple hello. But that’s not what came out.
“Do you have chemistry with me?”
“What?” Damien tilted his head slightly.
“Uh, like at school.” I sounded such an idiot. “You know, the periodic table, atoms, gases...” Was I really talking about gases? I needed to stop talking, right now.
“Sorry, Paige. I’m not taking chemistry.”
“Right. Yeah, me neither.” I laughed. That was what Bonnie had told me to do, right? Unfortunately, it had come out as some kind of strange, high-pitched giggle that made me sound more like a squealing pig than a human being. The look of confusion on Damien’s face only increased. I was clearly failing to make a good impression and needed to say something to fix this fast.
“I lost my phone number, have you seen it?” Wait, no, that wasn’t the line. What was wrong with me? I blamed Bonnie for putting those stupid pick-up lines in my head. “Sorry, I mean my phone, I lost my phone.”
“Uh, I think you might be holding it...”
I glanced down at the phone in my hand and gave an awkward laugh, making sure it resonated at a slightly lower frequency this time. “Oh yeah, there it is.”
“Glad I could help solve that great mystery.” His smile seemed genuine, but it was probably the same one he gave all the other crazy girls who talked to him. I wondered if elite hockey players like him needed coaching on how to deal with deranged fans and groupies. Smile, nod, and don’t make any sudden movements; effective with both dangerous animals and awkward girls.
To my surprise though, Damien gestured to the ice bucket on the counter beside him. “Do you want a drink?”
Given the way I’d been acting, he probably thought I’d already had one too many. But I was only too eager to accept. I needed to do something, anything, to reset this conversation.
“That would be great, thanks.” He handed me a bottle and I took several large sips. Unfortunately, the drink did little to calm my nerves.
“Great party, huh? Are you having a good time?” he asked.
Another ridiculous giggle erupted from my mouth, and I quickly clamped my lips shut. The pressure of trying to impress this guy was clearly getting to me. I was losing it.
He patiently waited for my response, and by some miracle I managed to stammer out the words, “Yeah, you?”
Instead of making some excuse to get the hell out of there, Damien surprised me again by answering. He seemed happy enough once he got chatting, and somehow he diverted the conversation back to the game today. Before long, Damien was deep into the epic tale of his assist during the first period. Technically, I wasn’t sure it counted as an assist. He’d passed the puck to Reed, but an opposition player had intercepted it. They’d only had the puck for a split second though, before Reed stole it back and scored .
I didn’t dare interrupt Damien. I doubted he wanted to be corrected, and there was every chance I might embarrass myself again. He seemed quite content to have an audience for his story, and Bonnie had said to let him do most of the talking, so at least I was getting one thing right. Just listen and nod and do anything other than talk or giggle, Paige!
“Were you at today’s game?” he asked.
Oh no. He wanted me to talk again. I went to take a sip of my drink to delay my response, but I was so distracted I missed my mouth completely, sending the entire contents of the bottle down the front of my top. I gasped and swore under my breath as the cold liquid soaked through my top and hit my skin.
“Are you okay?” Damien reached out to me. “Do you need some napkins or a towel or something?”
“I’m fine,” I squeaked.
“Are you sure, because I can—”
“I just need the toilet!” In my panic, I practically shouted the words at him as I took Bonnie’s final piece of advice: I bailed.
My attempt to flirt with Damien had been a complete disaster, and the thought of us kissing after my abysmal performance was laughable. He was more likely to take out a restraining order on me .
As I fled the scene, looking for the bathroom, I almost collided with Bonnie in the corridor. “What happened?” she gasped, her eyes immediately dropping to my soaked top.
“Let’s just say I don’t only need a Plan B after that, I need an overhaul of my entire personality.”
“Oh no, was it that bad?”
“Bad doesn’t even begin to describe it.”
“I’m so sorry, Paige.”
I shook my head. “It’s not your fault. And it turns out, it’s not even Grayson’s fault I haven’t been kissed. I’m the one to blame. I’m hopeless with boys.”
“You’re not hopeless.”
I waved at my ruined top to emphasize my point.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It was your first try. You’ll do better next time. You just need a little more practice.”
“A little more practice? I’d be better off getting a brain transplant.” I tried to pull the top from my skin—it was starting to stick. “I need to go deal with this.”
“Okay,” she agreed. “We can regroup after. Maybe try a different approach.”
I nodded, but deep down I knew I was done for the night. I had blown things with Damien so thoroughly I was going to need far more than a pep talk from Bonnie if I was going to turn this around. I was going to have to do something drastic. I just wasn’t sure what that might be.