Chapter 10 Grayson
Chapter 10
Grayson
I would rather eat another batch of Paige’s poisonous muffins than watch her kiss another guy. Surely death would be less painful than the suffering I was enduring at the mere thought of her with someone else. The party had only just started, but I’d spent the entire time standing in the rec room, watching the door like a hawk. I knew Paige could arrive at any moment what might happen when she did.
“She’s not here yet,” Reed said as he came to stand next to me. It was like he’d read my mind.
“Don’t know who or what you’re talking about.”
“Uh-huh.” Reed looked like he was fighting a smirk. “Have you thought any more about the friendly advice we gave you the other day?”
“Friendly advice? You mean, when you guys cornered me in the locker room and told me I needed to change my entire personality?”
“Yeah, that.”
“I’ve been doing my best to pretend it never happened.” I lifted my drink to my lips and took a slow sip.
“So, you’re going to sit back and do nothing?”
“That’s the plan.” Although, the thought of doing nothing almost pissed me off more than Reed and the guys’ insulting list of suggestions. I’d been doing nothing since forever, and unsurprisingly, it had gotten me nowhere .
“You really need to stop being so stubborn,” Reed said. “It’s making you miserable.”
“Perhaps I like misery.” Misery was safe. Misery was comfortable. And, however miserable I might be now, surely it couldn’t be worse than the devastation I’d feel if I shared my feelings and it ruined my friendship with Paige.
Reed shook his head at me. “You can choose to be happy, you know? You can fight for it. You’ll regret doing nothing, and will only have yourself to blame.”
As he spoke, I followed his gaze to where Violet was chatting with Matt on the other side of the room. Reed was staring at her with bright, wide eyes. He’d had that look on his face pretty much every day since they’d officially started dating.
“You don’t have to just pine after her from a distance anymore,” I said. “You got the girl.”
“I know.” Reed grinned as he pulled his eyes away from her to look at me. “It’s awesome. You should try it.”
He walked over to join Violet and wrapped his arms around her waist. He made it sound easy. Like I could just wave a wand, and everything would fall into place. I’d magically become the guy Paige deserved, she’d return my feelings, and we’d live happily ever after. It was a fantasy. One I wanted to become reality far too much.
I was almost grateful that my knee was still hurting from the game today. I needed the distraction. Although, even that wasn’t enough to fully take the edge off the anxiety swirling in my gut.
“So, what are you going to do if Paige kisses Damien tonight?” Parker said, appearing out of nowhere at my side. “Matt bet me fifty bucks you’d punch him. I bet you’d interfere with the whole thing before he gets a chance.”
What was it with my brothers and their sudden obsession over my relationship with Paige?
“Don’t you have anything better to do with your time than harass me?”
“Sure I do,” Parker replied. “This is a party. You think helping you is the top thing on my priority list?”
“Then why are you here?”
“You haven’t left me much choice. You’re standing in the corner being all moody and scowling at anything that moves. I don’t need girls being any more terrified of you than they already are. It’ll mess with my game.”
I guess that explained Parker’s reasons for helping me. You could always count on him to be self-motivated.
“Also, I figured I should probably tell you Paige is here.”
“What?” My eyes darted around the room.
“Yeah, and she’s already talking to Damien.”
“Why didn’t you lead with that!”
Parker’s face lit with a devious grin. “I just needed to make sure Matt was ready with the camera.” He stuck up his thumb and posed beside me as Matt turned his phone in our direction. “Figured we could frame this and call it, ‘The Moment Grayson Realized He’d Made a Catastrophic Mistake.’”
“Get off me.” I shoved him away. “Where is she?”
“In the kitchen.”
I marched toward the door, but Parker trailed after me. “Ha, I knew you’d pick interference! Easiest fifty bucks I’ll ever make.”
I ignored my brother as I stormed in the direction of the kitchen. But as I approached the room and caught sight of Paige and Damien, I came to a sudden standstill. They were smiling at one another, and he was laughing at something she’d said. My heart was racing, but for all the wrong reasons. I wanted nothing more than to barge in there and tell Damien Stone to return to whatever hole he’d slithered out of. But I couldn’t do it. If this was what Paige wanted, I couldn’t ruin her chances with him. I couldn’t interfere. God, how I wished I could.
My shoulders slumped as realization hit me: I was out of time. I’d had years to take my shot at happiness with Paige, but now it was too late. She and Damien might only be talking at this stage, but if Paige planned to kiss him, then surely it was inevitable. I thought Damien was one of the biggest tools in Ransom, but not even he was stupid enough to miss an opportunity with Paige. She was the best thing about this place.
I tried to tell myself it was just a kiss. That it didn’t mean anything. But this felt like so much more than that. For years I’d wanted Paige and I’d done nothing. Reed was right. Now, I was potentially going to lose her completely, and I would regret my inaction forever.
I started to turn away, so I could leave them in peace, but then a strange sound erupted from Paige’s lips. It was a bizarre combination of a giggle and a squeal. I froze. Oh no. Not her nervous laugh .
It was only now, when I looked at her more closely, that I realized how uncomfortable she was. Her smile was strained, and her eyes looked a little crazed. She kept tucking her hair behind her ears and nodding as Damien spoke. My grandma used to drive around with one of those Elvis Presley bobblehead dolls on her dash, and Paige was giving the figurine a serious run for its money.
I knew things must be dire when her infamous nervous giggle escaped her lips yet again. I cringed, unsure whether to feel embarrassment or sympathy for her. As much as I didn’t want things to go well with Damien, I didn’t want them to go this bad. Just when I thought the interaction couldn’t get any worse, she went to take a sip of her drink, completely missed her mouth and spilled the entire thing down her front.
Shit.
Damien tried to help, but Paige simply yelled something about the bathroom and fled. I wasn’t far behind her as I raced across the kitchen to try and catch up. She was too quick though, and disappeared down the hall before I got a chance.
I swore under my breath, knowing how much she must be freaking out.
I wanted to check on her, but my urgency to go after her felt like more than that. Just watching her talk with Damien had been a form of punishment I never wanted to endure again. I didn’t want her getting flustered and nervous over another guy. If she was going to squeal with laughter and spill a drink down her top, I wanted it to be because of me. And I wasn’t sure I could sit back and do nothing anymore .
I’d always kept a barrier between us; always tried to ignore my feelings because I knew I didn’t deserve her. But Reed’s words kept playing in my head on repeat. If I stood back any longer, I could lose her forever. Maybe that spilled drink was a sign. It had given me one final chance.
I caught sight of Bonnie and rushed to her side. “Have you seen Paige?”
“She’s in the bathroom,” she replied with a grimace. “It didn’t go well with Damien...”
“Good.” I cleared my throat when I realized I’d said the word out loud. “I mean, uh, I’ll go see if she’s okay.”
Bonnie smirked, as if she could read all my deep, dark thoughts. “What a great idea.”
I hurried past her before she could scrutinize me any further. Paige’s friend had a nasty habit of asking questions I didn’t want to answer, and was an expert at uncovering secrets people had no intention of revealing.
Luckily, there was no line outside the bathroom when I reached it, so I knocked on the door.
“Just a minute!” Paige called.
“It’s me.”
The door opened a moment later and Paige grabbed me by my hoodie, yanking me inside. “Thank God.”
Her shirt was drenched, and she was dabbing at it with a hand towel. “I need your honest opinion. How bad is it?”
“Are you talking about your top, or something else?”
“Oh no, you didn’t see me with Damien, did you?”
“Kind of.”
Her shoulders fell and she gave up trying to dry her shirt. “I’m such an idiot. He’s never going to talk to me again after that, let alone kiss me.” She slowly peered up at me. “And I guess I owe you an apology.”
“What? Why?”
“It turns out it wasn’t your fault I’ve never been kissed. I’m useless at this.”
I unzipped my hoodie, took it off, and handed it to her. “You’re not useless. It’s just a spilled drink.”
She gratefully accepted the hoodie and started to put it on over her wet shirt. “No, I also said all the wrong things and started giggling at the stupidest moments. Have you heard my giggle??”
“Could be worse. I like your giggle.”
“Could be worse? How would you react if a girl just stood in front of you and giggled like that?”
“I’d be extremely concerned. But only because nothing I say is funny.”
“That’s not true.” A small smile threatened to break through her hopeless expression.
“He probably just figured he was being hilarious.”
“But he wasn’t even making a joke,” she replied, frustration and disappointment spilling freely from her lips. “I made the conversation so awkward. I was just so in my head, it was a total disaster. I think I said something stupid about losing my phone—”
“You’re holding it . . .”
“Exactly,” she groaned. “And I asked him if we have chemistry.”
“Why would you do that?”
“They were supposed to be pickup lines. And I don’t know how, but I even started talking about gases!”
I couldn’t help but let out a stunned laugh.
“It’s not funny, Gray.”
“It’s not not funny.”
She scowled at me. But her scowl was just about the least terrifying thing in the world. It only made her look cuter.
“I’m never going to kiss anyone, am I?” She sighed. “I can’t even flirt with a guy. They should teach this sort of thing in school because it’s not nearly as easy as it sounds. It would be way more useful than algebra. What’s the point in knowing math if you’re going to end up a spinster?”
“You’re not going to end up a spinster.”
She didn’t seem to hear me as she turned and looked in the mirror. “No guy has ever truly wanted me, and they never will.”
My heart was breaking for her, and in my mind I was practically screaming that I wanted her. I’d always wanted her. Maybe if I’d told her that at some point in the last decade, she wouldn’t be feeling this way. She’d know how perfect she was. She’d know she didn’t need cheesy pickup lines or a flirty laugh to catch a guy’s attention. She’d know there was at least one person in the world that wanted her just as she was, and he was standing right in front of her. I was desperate to make her understand how wrong she was about herself, but how could I do that without exposing my closely guarded feelings ?
The truth was, there was no way around it. I couldn’t continue to do nothing. I couldn’t let her feel this way, and I couldn’t sit by and watch her blush and flirt and nervously giggle with the next guy who caught her eye. I needed to finally take some action and accept the consequences—whatever they might be. I drew in a breath, knowing that when I finally exhaled, I was going to utter words that could shatter the foundations of our friendship for good.
“Clearly, you don’t know how perfect you really are.” My voice was deep and rumbly, and my heart ached because of just how true it was.
She turned away from the mirror to look at me. “You have to say that,” she mumbled. “You’re my best friend.”
My chest tightened. Our friendship felt like a brick wall between us, preventing her from seeing what was right in front of her. I needed to take a sledgehammer to it and smash my way through. Reed, Parker, and my friends had told me I needed to make Paige see me as more than a friend, and I cast my mind back to the intervention and their stupid list of advice. What was on it again? Compliment her. Flirt with her. Touch her. Be less Grayson. It felt like I needed to do every one of those things if she was going to believe this. If she was going to feel truly wanted.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I took a step closer to her. She edged back until she was pressed against the counter, and I placed my hands on either side of her, encasing her between them.
“I don’t have to say anything,” I whispered. “Except tell you how beautiful you look tonight.”
Her lips parted with surprise. I might have laughed at the shock so clearly etched across her features, but my heart was beating way too fast. However worried she’d been about flirting with Damien, I could almost guarantee it was a fraction of the fear and hope thrumming through me right now.
“I do?” Her breath caught in her throat as she responded, and the words came out as a small squeak.
I had no idea what I was doing. Was this flirty? Or was I just making a fool of myself? I tried to form a playful expression as I leaned in even closer to her, but the wry smile on my lips felt as foreign to me as the words I was trying to form. Somehow, I managed to keep it in place as I continued.
“You do,” I replied. “And I know you feel like you failed tonight, but you’ve got a guy standing right here who wants to listen to all your bad pickup lines and loves your nervous giggles.”
I reached up and gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. It was only now that I realized just how close we were. How much seeing her engulfed in my hoodie affected me. And how desperately I wanted to blurt out each one of my long-unrequited feelings. I was trying to play it cool, but now that I’d started talking, I couldn’t seem to hold myself back.
“But do you know what I want the most?”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, and her hushed reply was barely audible. “What?”
“You, Paige. I want you.”
The air around us crackled with tension, and I felt certain she could feel it too, because her eyes dipped to my lips. Trepidation and anticipation pulsed in my veins. My desire to make her feel wanted had led to me voicing my true feelings, and it was freeing to finally release the words into the world. But was it actually working? It felt like Paige might be looking at me differently. Could she be thinking about me as someone other than her best friend for the very first time? At least she wasn’t shying away. In fact, I was daring to hope that she might be feeling something too .
But then Paige laughed. Not the nervous giggle she’d uttered for Damien. A genuine, playful laugh. “Oh my gosh, Gray. You’re good.”
“What?”
“Your flirting,” she said. “You almost had me fooled there for a second.”
What was she talking about? Did she think I was just messing around? It felt like I’d had ice water thrown on me.
“Where did that come from?” she continued. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Uh, I’m not sure,” I stuttered. It had come straight from my poor, forgotten heart, but the confidence that had inspired me moments ago dissipated, and I found myself quickly backtracking. “Just a natural, I guess.”
“Well, if they ever do start teaching it in schools, you’ll have a job for life. You could be like...” She gasped before she could finish the thought. Then she reached out and grabbed my arm, her eyes practically glowing with excitement. “I’ve just had the best idea.”
Why was I suddenly worried? “You have?”
“Yes! What if you teach me?”
“Teach you what?”
“To flirt like that. The closeness, the lines, the hair tuck. It was amazing.”
I lifted my hands off the counter beside her and stepped back. I was still close, but the space between us suddenly felt vast, and that damn wall was still holding strong. I’d failed. She thought I was just her best friend, trying to make her feel better. She thought it was all for show. I guess it kind of had been. She’d never seen me act like that before. But the words I’d spoken couldn’t have been more serious.
“This is going to be great,” she continued, her expression now thoughtful, like she was coming up with a cunning plan. “Forget putting in a good word for me. This will be much more effective.”
“It will?” I felt like I was on a freight train that had lost control, and I had no idea how to slow it down. The carriages were racing ahead, plowing through stop signs and coming off the rails as they hurtled round the bends.
“Definitely. You clearly know what you’re doing. And I clearly don’t. With your help, I might actually have a chance with someone like Damien.”
“Right.” The universe truly hated me. Where was an unfinished railroad dangling over a ravine when you needed one?
There was a bang at the door, and we both jolted in response.
“We’re almost done,” Paige called, before immediately turning her attention back to me.
“We?” someone on the other side of the door replied.
Paige ignored them as she looked up at me with her big brown eyes. “So, what do you think? Can you teach me how to do... whatever that was?”
I scratched the side of my neck as I tried to figure a way out of this. “You really want my help with this? I’m no expert.”
“Uh, I think you might be,” she said, fanning her face with her hand. “I still feel a little flustered after that performance. Come on, please. Even if we just practice a little, to build up my confidence before I try again.”
“You want to practice flirting?”
“Why not? If there’s a weakness in your game, you practice, right? Remember freshman year, when Coach Ray said you needed to work on your slapshot? You stayed late after training every night for weeks. Now you’ve got one of the best techniques on the team.”
“I guess.”
“Well, I need to practice my slapshot, Coach.”
She looked so hopeful, but I knew this was a bad idea. I didn’t want to be the practice guy. I wanted to be the guy.
“Please, Gray? You’re the perfect person to help me with this. We’ve got about a week before my mom gets back. That gives us more than enough time to work out where I’m going wrong and what I can do differently. Plus, I’m so comfortable around you, and I know you won’t take anything the wrong way. Seriously, if I can’t manage to flirt with you, there really is no hope for me.”
I was screwed. Completely and utterly screwed. Despite my best efforts to destroy the friend zone for good, I was just digging myself in deeper than ever before. I was no longer its mayor; I had now crowned myself its king .
“You don’t think it’s a good idea?” Paige sounded subdued, and she must have noticed the apprehension in my eyes.
I cleared my throat. “No, it sounds great.”
“Because Bonnie said she’d start a game of spin the bottle if things with Damien didn’t work out...”
“No!” I yelled, before quickly calming. “No, you’re right.”
Her eyes gleamed with optimism and expectation. “So, that means you’ll do it? You’ll be my flirting coach?”
I sincerely hoped that wasn’t my new title. This was a mistake. So, why was I nodding?
“Yeah, I’ll help you, Pidge.”
She squealed and threw her arms around my neck. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
I was stiff at first but soon relaxed into her grasp.
This was going to be pure torture. But I didn’t have much of a choice. At least I’d bought myself some time to try to fix this. All I needed to do was show her I was the guy she should be flirting with, I was the one she wanted to kiss, and I was the one she belonged with.
Maybe I was going to need another look at the guys’ intervention checklist.