Chapter 19 Paige
Chapter 19
Paige
Despite my best intentions, ignoring unwanted feelings was far easier said than done. Instead, they were all I could seem to think about, and I was a mess as I tried to get ready for school. Parker laughed at me when I arrived at breakfast with my shirt inside out. Reed had to gently reminded me to pour cereal into my bowl and not my cup. And when Grayson finally arrived in the kitchen, I got up from my chair so quickly I sent a glass of orange juice flying.
I swore under my breath as he rushed to help me. What was it with me and spilling drinks?
“It’s okay, I can clean up,” I insisted, but Grayson was already kneeling at my side, helping to wipe up the spilled juice.
“It’s no problem,” he murmured.
I hazarded a look into his eyes. He was watching me, concern clearly etched into his features. Could he tell what was going on in my head? That he was all I could think about? That I was dreaming about him, longing for him. Or did he just think I was freaking out because we’d spent the entire night in the same bed? He hadn’t seen me leave his room this morning, so maybe he didn’t know I’d been there as long as I had.
I quickly returned my attention back to the mess I’d made. The moment the floor was clean, I jumped back up, hitting my head on the table in the process. I groaned, rubbing the sore spot as I stood .
“What’s up with you this morning?” Parker asked.
“Uhhh...” I frantically searched for an acceptable answer.
“She’s probably just exhausted because the storm kept her up, like the rest of us.” Grayson answered for me, and I happily jumped on the excuse.
“Yeah, the storm. I couldn’t sleep.” I did my best to avoid looking at Gray, so I wouldn’t rouse any kind of suspicion. We’d get in so much trouble if anyone found out I’d slept in his room, and I was sure his brothers would never let us hear the end of it. I also didn’t need the added scrutiny. Things were pretty confusing in Paigeville right now, and I feared it wouldn’t take much for someone to catch on.
Thankfully, the boys seemed to remain oblivious, and Reed stared blankly in reply. “There was a storm?”
“Not surprised you didn’t hear it,” Parker muttered.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That you sleep like the dead,” Grayson replied.
“Even the dead heard that storm,” Parker added.
“Whatever.” Reed shrugged and turned to leave. “I’m going to jump in the shower.”
Parker was right behind him, and he gave me a devious grin over his shoulder. “Five bucks says I can steal the bathroom before he gets there.”
“Uh, sure.” I wasn’t even certain what I’d just agreed to.
Parker nodded and shot off like a rocket. I could hear him and Reed fighting as they tried to get up the stairs.
Gray’s eyes danced with amusement as he listened to them. He seemed in a good mood this morning, especially for him, and there wasn’t a hint of the awkwardness or embarrassment I was experiencing. I guessed that meant there wasn’t a hint of the feelings I was having either. Still, just as it had last night, his calmness had a relaxing effect on me .
I smiled at him. “Does Reed really sleep that deeply?”
“He does. Mom thinks it’s because we shared a room when we were little. Apparently, I liked to cry all night and Reed had to sleep through my screams.”
“That makes sense,” I said. “Though I can’t really picture you as a baby. I’m not convinced you ever were one.”
“That’s because I actually arrived in this world six-foot-four and scowling.”
I laughed and his lips looked tempted to smile in return. I loved it when Gray was so close to cracking. When he was on the very edge of sharing his fleeting smile. I realized I was staring at him again with dreamy eyes, so I quickly moved to clean my dishes. I needed some sense knocked into me. Perhaps when I got to school, I could convince Bonnie to set me straight.
“About last night...” Grayson murmured as he joined me by the sink.
“Yeah, sorry about that.” My stomach churned at the memory. “But thank you for being there for me. Bet you’ll be glad once I get home.”
“I’d never be glad about that.”
I didn’t give myself a chance to take his words the wrong way. To try to attach some value or meaning to them that wasn’t there. Gray was just saying that as my friend. I refused to become so blinded by a fleeting crush that I started to believe my feelings were returned. Especially when I wasn’t convinced they were real in the first place .
“Pidge?” Gray said, his voice low. “You okay?” I’d been scrubbing the same bowl for way too long and I quickly turned the water off.
I slowly looked up at him. He was standing close enough that every urge I was trying to bury and hide came rushing to the surface. He was looking at me the same way he always did. Why did it feel so much more intense? Why was it affecting me in such a visceral way? I needed a reality check from Bonnie urgently. It couldn’t wait until I got to school.
“I better finish getting ready,” I said, ducking past Grayson as I headed for the door. “I’ll see you at school.”
“You want to drive with me?” he called.
“No, thanks. Bonnie asked me for a ride.” I shot one last forced smile over my shoulder before rushing upstairs. Being in an enclosed space with Grayson was not a good idea right now. As soon as I reached Cammie’s room, I grabbed my phone from its charger and texted Bonnie.
Me: Tell your mom you’re grabbing a ride to school with me this morning.
Thankfully, Bonnie lived with her phone glued to her hand and responded instantly.
Bonnie: You’re not driving with Grayson?
Me: Not today. Also, I need you to slap some sense into me .
Bonnie: Wow, sounds serious. Okay, I’m here to help.
Everyone needed a friend like Bonnie in their life. It felt like things were seriously veering off course, and I hoped a little of her trademark tough love would be enough to return them to the safe, familiar path where everything made sense.
“Ouch!” I flinched as Bonnie’s hand made impact. She didn’t pull her punches—well, slaps—and my cheek felt like it was on fire. “What was that?”
“You told me to slap you!”
“I didn’t mean literally , Bon!” I rubbed my cheek. It was lucky her mom wasn’t watching, or she’d be seriously concerned about our friendship.
“Oh.” Her eyes widened with guilt and shock. “I thought you wanted a real slap.”
“Clearly.” I laughed and shook my head. “You didn’t even hesitate. Did you miss your morning coffee or are you just feeling angry today?”
“What? It’s not every day you get asked to slap some sense into someone.”
“Well, next time I’m asking someone else.”
“Fair enough.” She turned to grab her jacket off a hook inside the house. “Bye, Mom,” she shouted before pulling the front door shut.
The two of us started walking to my car, which was parked on the street. It was bitterly cold today, and while the rain from last night had stopped, it was still quite windy. I was wearing a warm coat but the gusts that whipped across Bonnie’s front yard felt like shards of ice. It wasn’t much warmer when we got in the car, but we were at least protected from the wind .
“So, did it work?” Bonnie asked as I cranked the heating up to full power. I’d only left the car here for a few minutes, but already it was freezing inside.
“Did what work?”
“The slap. Are you filled with sense now?”
I couldn’t be sure. The only thing I could feel was my burning cheek. Perhaps once I saw Grayson again, I’d be able to tell if Bonnie’s slap had the desired effect.
“Also, why exactly do you need sense knocked into you?” she added.
I was somewhat surprised she didn’t ask that question before she slapped me.
“I’ve been having doubts about this whole thing.” It wasn’t a lie. It was just extremely vague.
“Doubts about what whole thing?”
Apparently, extremely vague wasn’t going to cut it. “The whole first-kiss thing.”
“You’re reconsidering?” Her brow creased. “I knew I shouldn’t have left you at the mall last night. The outfits I chose didn’t scare you off, did they?”
“What? No, it wasn’t the clothes.”
“So, what is it? You still want to kiss Damien, right?”
My uncertainty must have been plastered across my face because she nodded, like she already knew the answer to her question, and continued. “I thought you were into him. But we can go back to the drawing board. Is there someone else you want to kiss? ”
“Uh . . .”
“Or did you finally come around to my idea of making Grayson pucker up?”
I gasped. “What? No! Of course not.” But it was hard to tell myself I wasn’t lying this time, because the thought of kissing Gray vividly entered my mind.
“Well, who else is there?” Bonnie asked. “Because the main reason we picked Damien, apart from the fact that he’s totally hot, was because he’s the only guy at school who hasn’t been reduced to a whimpering mess by your big, scary friend.”
When she laid it out like that, it was difficult to argue. Damien was still the best option if I really wanted to cross this goal off my list. Why was I doubting the whole thing so much? Perhaps it had something to do with spending the night in Grayson’s heated embrace.
“I know the prospect of your first kiss can be intimidating,” she said. “Maybe you just need to give Damien a chance? Do you need me to slap you again?”
“No!” I shouted, lifting a hand to protect myself. “I think the first one worked!”
I didn’t need sense knocked into me; I needed a total brain reset. But maybe that’s what kissing Damien would do. Reboot my system and break this fixation I’d developed for my best friend. Maybe if I started to form feelings for someone else, they would replace those I had for Grayson, which were quickly growing out of control. I had to believe it was worth a try, because I couldn’t keep feeling this way about Gray .
“You’re right. It needs to be Damien. I should give him a chance.”
“Good.” Her shoulders slumped with relief. “I was beginning to worry about you.”
“It was just a momentary lapse. I’m back now.” Or, at least, I would be.
“Excellent. Now, how’d the shopping go last night? Did you get any of the outfits I chose?”
“Two.” I smiled, feeling very proud of myself. “The black dress, and the jeans and top with little stars on it. I judged each outfit based on how much it shocked Grayson. He was a bit of a prude about the whole thing.”
“That’s great! I can’t wait to see them.” She then cast her eyes up and down my current outfit. “You didn’t want to test one out at school today?”
I glanced down at what I was wearing. In my hurry to get out of the house this morning, I’d grabbed the first thing I could find: a pair of jeans with cute little embroidered flowers and a large Ransom Devils sweatshirt. It was one of Grayson’s and it almost swallowed me whole. I probably should’ve thought twice before picking it up. It smelled like him, which was only making it harder to keep him from invading my thoughts. And if Damien saw me in it, he might get the wrong idea. Perhaps he’d just think I had a lot of school spirit?
“Uh, I was rushing this morning. Just couldn’t wait to get slapped by you.”
“Well, I’m glad you were so excited,” she replied. “I was actually hoping to ask you a favor too, and it’s something that might help with the Damien situation. ”
“What kind of favor?”
She clapped her hands together happily, as if I’d already agreed. “So, I’m planning for the next paper. And in the lead-up to hockey playoffs, I’m thinking of doing profiles on all the players. I was hoping you could help me out with them.”
“You want me to write player profiles? I thought you had someone covering hockey.”
“You mean Abby?”
I grimaced at the disgust in her tone. I’d almost forgotten about the troubles Abby had caused Bonnie and the paper yesterday. “Sorry. Still not going well?”
“Let’s just say I’m not letting her near another hockey article the rest of the year. Besides, this assignment is even less suited to her.”
“Why?”
“It requires interviewing the players. She goes all quiet and loses her voice whenever a guy so much as looks at her, so I don’t think she’s capable of pulling it off. I was hoping you could help me out instead?”
“Me?” I gasped. “Why do you think I’d be any better than Abby?” Had Bonnie forgotten about my traumatic experience with Damien at the party?
She flicked a hand to dismiss my concern. “Well, haven’t you been practicing?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess. But not for this.”
“You’ll be fine,” she said. “You’re friends with half the team, and you actually know hockey. It’ll be easy.”
“But I’m a horrible writer. And I’ve no idea what to ask.”
“You’re not horrible at it in the least,” she insisted. “And I’ll help you with the questions. I know you haven’t done anything like this before, but I’ll be editing the piece, so you don’t have to worry if it’s not perfect on the first try.”
“I don’t know, Bon . . .”
“Just think about it. Even if you only do the interviews and record them for me, it would be a big help. It’s going to be a great article. Not just your usual boring player stats. You’re always trying new things. Why not this?”
I considered her point as I drove. The thought of having to write the actual article and have anyone read it was daunting, but Bonnie sounded like she was going to be supporting me every step of the way. And if she wrote the questions, the interviews might not be that hard. It wasn’t exactly on my bucket list, but that was no reason not to try it. I’d been so focused on my first kiss recently, I’d kind of forgotten why the list existed in the first place. There was one important detail, however, that Bonnie hadn’t clarified yet.
“How exactly does this help me with Damien?” I asked as we pulled into the school parking lot. It was still early, and there were only a few other cars there, which was a relief because I felt like I needed a minute before we headed into school.
“You need a reason to debut your killer new clothes, right? If you talk to Damien wearing any of the outfits I made you try on, he’ll be the one spilling his drink.”
“But I’m supposed to be ignoring him. Shouldn’t I run this plan past Grayson first?”
Bonnie rolled her eyes. “Coach Darling’s ignoring tactic is only going to get you so far. And besides, Gray already said the flirting you did in front of Damien had worked. Now it’s time to seal the deal.” She added a wink for emphasis .
“I guess so,” I said, still not sure this was the right plan of attack. I pulled the car into one of the many free spaces and slumped back in my seat. The engine was still running and the heat pumping, making the idea of getting out and walking into school even more unappealing.
Bonnie continued, sensing my hesitation. “And if you’re worrying about a repeat of the last time you tried to flirt with Damien, then don’t. I’ll be giving you a whole list of questions to fall back on. It can’t fail.”
That would definitely help. Half the reason I’d made a fool of myself when I’d tried to make a move on Damien before was because I had no idea what to say. I might actually have a shot at a normal conversation if I was reading a list of prepared interview questions.
“I just need to know if you’re in by the end of school,” Bonnie continued. “Coach Ray has already agreed that someone can interview the guys during practice tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Yep. Is that a problem? Have you got other plans?”
“Well, no.” Although, I thought I’d have a little more time to come to terms with the idea.
“I think you could do a really great job at this, Paige.”
I sighed and leaned forward to shut off the car. It was so much harder to turn Bonnie down when she was being this supportive. “Okay, fine.”
“Fine, as in, you’ll do it?”
“Yes, I’ll do it.”
“Excellent.” She clapped her hands. “This is going to be great for both of us. I get my article, and you get one step closer to your first kiss. It’s a win-win.”
“Yeah, hopefully.”
Hopefully , I wouldn’t ruin Bonnie’s article.
Hopefully , I wouldn’t make a fool of myself in front of Damien.
And hopefully, I would have my first kiss before the week was done.
The alternative was trudging through life with unrequited feelings for my best friend, and that just wasn’t an option.