10. Harry
What was I thinking? Still, hours later, I can’t quite wrap my head around that part. I don’t know what happened between Petra and me. A moment of madness, I suppose. I’m just glad that she had the wherewithal to run away before we could overstep that boundary and actually kiss.
“Oh, my God,” I groan in sheer agony. How the hell did we almost kiss? I have worked with tons of people in this situation before and had never nearly kissed a client before. What is wrong with me?
I’m glad it didn’t happen because as she now knows, I’m not one for a relationship after what happened to me in the past. I also can’t justify a relationship with a client. That would be too crazy for words. I don’t even want to think about what Max would say to me about it. And as for Benji… God, the teasing would be too much. Not a chance. No, we need to push that to the back of our minds and never revisit it again. I don’t think Petra will want to talk about it, anyway, judging by the way she ran off.
I know that I should go and check on her, but I don’t want to make things more awkward than they already are. She popped out of the room once while I was scouting the area outside to grab some food, but I don’t think she has been out since. She’s back to hiding away from me. I don’t blame her.
I think the worst part of it all is knowing deep down that I felt something for Petra. It might have just been in the moment and not something that I need to worry about, but it was there for sure. There was a moment of chemistry between us so strong that we almost gave up everything for one another.
“You can’t feel that way for anyone,” I hiss angrily at myself. “Feelings aren’t good for anyone. Ever.”
I’ve done all my checks and I’m happy that everything is secure, so I might as well try and watch some TV for a while. I’m not one for television. I don’t have enough time to catch up on shows, but I need something else to focus on. I can’t keep thinking about that almost kiss. It’s too much for me.
The TV is old. The signal is shit, I can’t really get anything on it, and certainly nothing that’s interesting enough to stop me from thinking about Petra’s plump, delightful lips and her sweet, bright eyes.
You don’t like her, I remind myself angrily. You don’t get along with her. She’s bratty and awful.
But I don’t think she is, really. I’m sure that was just a reaction to everything going on around her. The more vulnerable side of her was powerful enough to make me open up myself, and that says something, doesn’t it? That makes me really consider what sort of person she is…
“Stop it,” I hiss as I realize that she is flooding me once more. She is filling up my mind and making me yearn and ache for her once more. The more that I think about Petra, the more that I want to drag her out here so we can talk. Or maybe kiss, really kiss this time, because it’s been a while. Not for a meaningless kiss, but for something that will really make me feel something. “Goddamn it, Harry, just stop?—”
The words fall apart on my lips as I hear a sound, a noise that makes my blood run icy cold. It isn’t coming from upstairs where Petra is. I don’t even think it’s inside the house, but I shut the TV off sharply as everything inside me snaps to attention. My Navy SEAL training spikes up, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on edge. I need my gun and I need it now. Luckily, it’s always within reach.
“Petra?” I call up the stairs, forgetting completely about the weird tension zinging between us. Work and protection always take priority. “Petra, are you up there? Is everything okay?”
She doesn’t answer me right away, so I bound up the stairs two at a time. By leaning in through her bedroom door, I immediately hear the shower running so I know I can probably breathe a sigh of relief. She’s okay. But I need to check, just to be certain. I can only call out since I can’t see her.
“Petra, is everything okay in there? I just need to er, check in on you, that’s all.”
“Fine, thanks,” she calls back. I hear the confusion in her voice, which I quickly decide is a good thing. It means that she doesn’t know why I would have anything to worry about. “Do you need me?”
“No, it’s all good. I’ll see you in a bit. Just give me a call if you need anything.”
I head back down the stairs and am instantly overcome by the weirdness clinging in the air. Yep, there is something going on. I can just sense that something is going on, that someone is here, and there is no way that someone should be here. No boats can arrive here without my knowing about it. Max would have told me if anything was arriving, and he hasn’t. This is bad, really bad. I need to sort it out.
I check the house first, even though I’m pretty sure it’s okay. I need to be sure that every room is empty, locked up, and Petra is safe. Then once that’s done, I go to do the same on the outside. Since this feeling is so strong, it’ll take a while so I can check every damn inch of the island. Whoever is here will regret it.
I work best in work mode. I do well when I’m professional and everything that I have ever been trained to do comes to light, so I know with confidence that if someone is here, I will get them.
“What’s going on?” Petra runs toward me the moment I step inside the house once more. I’m all confused and on edge because I haven’t found anything or anyone, but I still have the sense that someone is around. “I can feel it. Something isn’t right, is it? I don’t know what it is, but it’s wrong.”
I part my lips to reassure her that nothing is wrong, because I don’t want her to worry unnecessarily, but she silences me by flinging herself into my arms. I automatically wrap my arms around her to hug her because to be honest, I’m glad that I’m not the only one who can feel this.
“I’ve checked the whole place,” I tell her seriously. “There is no one around and no sign of visitation either. I don’t know what it is, but you have nothing to worry about. No one is here.”
“Don’t you need to… I don’t know, make some calls or something?” she begs. “Like, to your boss or whatever? Because I can’t explain it, but there is certainly something going on. I’m all freaked out.”
“I’ve put in the calls, Petra, and it’s fine. I think maybe you’re just freaked out.”
She pulls back to look at me and cocks an eyebrow in my direction. “You’re telling me that you can’t feel it? Because I know you can. I heard it in your voice when you came in to check on me.”
“So, I freaked you out?” That’s probably for the best. I can undo that. “Okay, well I’m sorry about that?—”
“No, I felt it already. That’s why I went in the shower in the first place. Because I was all cold and I needed to warm up. Then I got out of the shower and you were gone, and this place felt like a horror movie.”
There is no point in trying to deny this or argue it. Instead, I nod sharply and start thinking of ways that we can get around it. “Okay, so let’s stick together for a while. Watch a movie and have some dinner or something, a few drinks too, maybe. Keep distracted, but also aware in case we hear anything again.”
“But I thought you said that you checked everywhere.” A shudder runs through her. “Aren’t you sure?”
“I’m sure that nothing is here,” I reply, realizing my mistake. I probably shouldn’t have said that, but I’m not going to be able to switch off from this weird feeling anytime soon. “But just to be safe.”
She nods but looks doubtful. On the one hand, this has definitely helped us get past that almost-kiss without any worries, but on the other hand, it’s another disaster that we could do without. But we don’t have any choice. One way or another, we’ll have to get through this.
“Are you sleeping?” I ask Petra as she falls against me again. It’s hardly a surprise since this is the third movie we’ve watched. It’s not even halfway through the film yet, but she can’t handle it. I didn’t think that she would be able to. Petra just seems not to want to give in to rest just yet. “Petra?”
“Hmm, no,” she murmurs back, clearly half asleep. “I’m awake. Watching the film.”
“Okay.” I laugh as I move. “Time to get you up to bed. I’ll carry you.”
I can’t help but notice how much closer Petra cuddles into me as I carry her this time around. It was more forced contact when I took her inside the house after her fall, but this feels different. Maybe it’s because she’s sleeping. I don’t want to get my feelings all twisted up again over nothing. I’ve been doing what I can to push what happened earlier away. I don’t need to add to it.
“Here we are.” I lay Petra down on the bed, but she doesn’t let go of me. “Petra, you’re in bed now. You don’t need to cling to me. You can get some sleep if you want to. You look tired. I can walk around?—”
“I don’t want to be alone,” she mutters without even opening her eyes. “I want you to stay.”
My eyes nearly pop out of my head. Did she just ask me to get into bed with her? Surely not. Petra must be sleep talking or something. She thinks that I’m someone else, maybe. There is no way she can want this.
“But… but you are in bed,” I whisper. “You don’t want me to get into bed with you.”
“I do.” She nods and peeks at me, letting me know how serious she is. “I don’t want to sleep alone. I won’t be able to rest. I know this is a bit weird, but it’s a big bed. Please. Don’t leave me. I don’t want anyone to be able to get me, Harry, and I can’t shake off the sensation that someone else is here to get me.”
“Er.” I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I should ignore her. “Sure, okay. I will just.” She shuffles up to give me plenty of room. This is really happening. No escaping it now. “Get into bed with you, then.”
It feels weird as I climb into the bed with her, for a little while… but soon, the warmth of her body calms me down. Petra has already passed out. She’s sleeping hard while clinging to me, not letting me leave, so I can just enjoy being able to be close to her. For protection, obviously. It’s much easier for me to look after Petra when she’s in my arms. Now if I could just switch off the other feelings that are currently cascading through me, then everything will be perfect.