Chapter 3
Vodyan
I let the cold of the lake flow through me as I hovered at the pickup point, my tentacles spread wide and moving sporadically to stay on the right level. The water around me was clear and dark, gentle currents brushing my scales. I was close enough to the surface to feel the lake’s even breathing.
She was in a good mood today.
I didn’t know at what point in my childhood I began to think of the lake as her —a mother. It wasn’t a cultural thing, and other vodniks didn’t revere the waters we lived in. To them, this was just our habitat, the part of the world that was ours.
To me, she was so much more. She was my cradle, the loving embrace, and a life-giving power. She was the omnipresent force and the voice that spoke to me when no one else did, which was almost always.
I knew her movements, her breathing patterns, her moods. Today, she was peaceful and welcoming, and that calm spread through me, easing the annoyance caused by my assignment.
I was content, soothed and comforted, the familiar cold embracing me like a friend.
Until something changed.
A disturbance started higher up, disrupting the even rhythm of the lake. The currents broke and stuttered, surface water pushing deeper until bubbles brushed my scales. A shape appeared above me, a shadow against the dim light filtering in.
I clenched my jaw, my serenity breaking into pieces. Here she was, my weak human principal, already splashing gracelessly around. I didn’t understand why surface dwellers couldn’t just surrender and let the lake carry them. It would have been so much easier than whatever she was trying to do.
The prudent thing would have been to sink until she was by my side, but apparently, she decided to make this as effortful as possible.
My tentacles shivered with tension as I waited, folding my arms. I had hoped for a reasonable human, but this one already proved her stupidity. Didn’t she understand that by thrashing around, she slowed down her descent? What was even the point?
I closed my eyes, a muscle in my jaw ticking as the currents jerked against me, their rhythm jagged and unpleasant. I hadn’t even met her and already hated her. She was what stood between me and my peace.
When the currents grew more violent, I opened my eyes. She was right above me, a black, small shape with weak limbs that uselessly tried to control the smooth, potent waters. Her eyes flashed behind a clear mask, her face pale, mouth wide open. She didn’t make a sound, though, and a pang of worry shot through me.
Maybe her gear failed. Maybe she couldn’t breathe.
I loathed to touch her, but it couldn’t be helped. I wasn’t about to lose my principal in my first minutes on the job, so I swam over with one potent push of my tentacles and put my hands on her ribs to steady her and check if she was breathing .
She froze as soon as she felt me. My fingers spasmed involuntarily, feeling how warm she was—so much warmer than anything I’d touched recently. Searing. It was like a shock to my system, and for a moment, I forgot what I was doing.
But then I remembered. Her ribs fluttered in a fast rhythm, indicating she was breathing without an issue. I made to move away with annoyance at the false alarm when her eyes locked on mine.
They were wide, deeply green, and filled with terror.
I hesitated, confused by her fear. Why was she so afraid? Everything happened exactly as agreed, her suit seemed to be working, and I didn’t sense anyone in pursuit. She was safe, so why…
Her eyes widened even more, her face contracting in a strange expression, and understanding dawned. Of course. I was holding her, my face right in front of her, and her mask was supposed to let her see in the dark. Which meant she saw me clearly, taking everything in with those wide, terrified eyes.
I was the reason for her fear. She was scared of me, which was so obvious and inevitable, I cursed myself for not realizing it at once.
My lip curled with mocking distaste. So very human.
Here I was, her ally and protector, and she was terrified of me because I was a different species. She was probably one of those people who lived in human-only enclaves. They inhabited polished, fenced-off neighborhoods where no other species were allowed to enter so the humans felt “secure”.
My tentacles flexed in anger, and I made to push away to keep my distance when she did something unexpected. A whimper fell out of her mouth, her breath fogging over the lower half of her mask.
Next thing I knew, she lunged for me with a cry. All her limbs wrapped around me with a shocking force, squeezing so tightly, my breath stuttered against my ribs. Her body was like a tight band wrapped around my torso, her invasion into my personal space so sudden, I didn’t know how to react.
I didn’t speak or move. My entire body grew rigid, overwhelmed by the explosion of heat all over my scales. She was scalding, shockingly so, and yet, not unpleasant. I was caught up in sensations, desperately trying to understand what I felt. Tremors ran down my tentacles, which spasmed jerkily with an unfamiliar urge that made no sense.
My body wanted to do something, but my thoughts swam rampant, half-formed and impossible to comprehend. In my bewilderment, all I did was hold still and let the human cling to me while she shook, her chest fluttering with rapid breaths.
Her arms were around my neck, squeezing tightly, her fingertips scraping the scales on my back in a way that sent pleasant shocks to my already overloaded brain. Her legs squeezed my waist, pressed so tightly to my scales, there wasn’t an inch of space left between us.
I absorbed her tremors, beginning to shake, too. My hands were still on her lower ribs, and I jerked them away from her body, spreading my arms wide to avoid touching her apart from where she gripped me.
A sudden, ridiculous fear tore through me. I was afraid if I touched her with a big enough area of my body, she would melt me into nothing.
She was so hot.
And so I floated uncomfortably with my arms spread wide, rigid and confused, while my human principal clung to me, making small noises of distress. When I realized we were slowly sinking lower, I finally remembered she was supposed to adjust first, so I kicked up, the movement jerky and too forceful.
Feeling the motion, she pressed even closer, her entire body grinding into my scales like she wanted to glue herself to me. I swallowed, my unease growing as hot and cold shivers crawled down my spine.
What was she doing? What did it mean?
I didn’t understand her. Was this something human females did? But no, I had enough experience with humans to know this wasn’t the case. What, then? Why did she cling to me like she was terrified to let go? We were strangers. It didn’t make any sense .
But what baffled me even more was that I let her. She held on tightly, yes, but she was still human. It would take one good tug to dislodge her and put her at a respectful distance.
So why didn’t I do it?
I tried to think it through, but my brain kept firing with strange, impossible thoughts that were more shapes than words. I kept still, apart from gently undulating to keep us level. Cold waters pressed at me from every side, calm again now that she didn’t move. She pressed so close to me, it seemed like we were one.
It was shockingly pleasant, that juxtaposition. Her thought-scattering heat combined with the soothing coolness of the lake scratched an ancient itch I only now realized I had.
I hadn’t even been aware I needed this before. To have the warm and the cold at once. Now that I felt it, I was loath for it to stop. It felt… Not quite good. Not bad, either. My thoughts contorted into even stranger, wilder shapes as I tried to puzzle it out.
What is this feeling?
Time passed. Her shaking gradually stopped while my body trembled with small shocks. I felt ridiculous, still holding my arms far away from our bodies, my tentacles spasming with that urge I couldn’t name and was too terrified to act on, because I didn’t understand it.
An unfamiliar hotness gathered in my chest and enveloped my face, something tingly and confusing. It made me want to push her away and hold her closer at the same time. I’d never felt so many conflicting, alien things at once.
I was at a loss.
Yet when she took a deep breath, seeming completely calm now, and loosened her hold, I acted without thinking. My arms shot out to close around her, one below, one above her air tank. A low growl reverberated in my voice sack.
Stay .
She made a surprised sound and squirmed in my hold, which sent more confusing sensations into my brain that was already filled with a cacophony of strangeness.
“Oh, are we supposed to… Is this… Because I didn’t know…”
She stuttered through her words, speaking jumbled, incoherent nonsense that I didn’t focus on, anyway. I was too busy negotiating with my body, which suddenly seemed to have a will of its own.
Let go, I instructed my arms while my fingers spasmed in protest, moving over the smooth fabric of her suit and drinking in her warmth.
She is your principal. And human. This makes no sense. Let go.
“I’m sorry I jumped on you,” she said, finally growing coherent.
Her voice was melodic and low, a bit distorted by the piece of plastic over her mouth. She had a pleasant timbre that flowed smoothly. Somehow, it also seemed warm, just like the rest of her.
I wanted her to say something more, so when she fell silent, I felt disgruntled.
Irrationally so.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
“Do you…” She stopped when her voice broke. She cleared her throat.
“Is this supposed to be like this? Are we… You need to hold me? Because no one mentioned it, but like, it’s fine. I know I get clingy when I’m nervous. God, I’m sorry. I’m usually quite rational, I promise. It was just, well, everything. But the cold was the worst. I jumped in and I couldn’t breathe, and then, even though the suit warmed up, I couldn’t stop panicking. But I’m already better. I think.”
Ah, so she did have a problem breathing, but it was resolved now. And she held on to me because, what, she was startled? I didn’t quite understand the logic in that. All I knew was that she waited expectantly, no longer holding on like her life depended on me, and it was time to let go .
Slowly, finger by finger, I loosened my grip. My tentacles vibrated with that need , and I pushed it away, my annoyance growing. Not just with her, but with myself, too. What was I doing?
Finally, I detached from her enough to pull back. She made a squeaky noise, her limbs sprawling as if to grab onto something as she sank lower.
I wanted to tell her to stop jerking around and just feel the water, but I didn’t trust my voice. Something taut and hard lodged in my voice sack, and it felt full even though it was currently empty, pulled flat against my throat.
When she struggled harder, I lost my patience. My tentacle shot out, coiling around her waist to hold her still. She squeaked again, wrapping those hot fingers around my limb, which made me shudder.
What was wrong with me?
“I’m sorry,” she choked out, seeming upset or embarrassed. I wasn’t sure. “God, I… don’t know what I’m doing, do I? I promise I’ll get better as soon as I get used to all this. I’m not a diver. Like, not at all. And I told them, and they said the benefits outweighed the risks, because they really don’t want me to end up with my entrails dragged all over an underground parking lot, and… Oh my God, another one. Okay, breathe.”
She fell silent, her lips pursed as she took in a deep breath through her nose and held it, then released slowly. She forcefully gripped my tentacle that was still wrapped around her middle as she continued breathing with focus. My muscles tensed, reacting to the strength of her hold and her heat.
She seemed distressed, so I didn’t dare let go, even though the onslaught of confusing emotions made me angry. But my principal’s survival always came before my comfort, and so I endured the chaos in my head and her bruising touch.
My tentacles were strong but very sensitive with the amount of nerve endings they were equipped with. And as it turned out, touching something as hot as a human body made odd sensations travel through those nerves, overloading my brain even more .
I focused on my own breathing, the gills at the sides of my neck fluttering gently as I held us afloat at the right level. My principal’s eyes were closed, her nostrils flaring with every inhale. I watched, mesmerized, as the plastic of her mask cleared when she breathed in and fogged when she breathed out.
When her eyes opened, I flinched. I was staring.
“A panic attack,” she said with a small smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think I’d get them again. They ended, oh, seven years ago. I’m thirty-one, you know. Way too old to have panic attacks.”
When I said nothing, simply looking at her, she winced.
“Not that age has anything to do with that,” she added, looking aside as her mouth worked. “That was unkind of me. Stupid, really. I know better. I’m so sorry. Again. I know I’m rambling.”
She looked up with another soft smile. She still held on to my tentacle coiled around her waist, though her grip relaxed. When her thumb ran over my skin, I jolted and sprang away, uncoiling so fast, I knocked her aside.
She squeaked and flailed her arms.
“God! I’m sorry! I just don’t know what… How am I supposed to…”
I gritted my teeth, took a long, calming breath, and extended a tentacle for her to hold. She grabbed it with a frustrated sound and righted herself. We watched each other, her face so small and so fragile behind that mask, her body so breakable and so utterly dependent on tech.
She was already at a disadvantage down here because of her species. And now, it became apparent she couldn’t control her fear and other emotions, either.
This was going to be a very long month.