Chapter 4
Zoe
“H ow much longer are we supposed to wait here?” I asked after an uncomfortable silence that could have lasted anywhere from fifteen minutes to half an hour. I had no idea. Time ran differently down here, where water pressed at me from every side, and my only guarantee of survival was the suit I wore.
It suddenly seemed so flimsy and inadequate.
My bodyguard’s eyes flicked to me and then to his wrist. Glowing numbers appeared on his skin when he turned his hand. He had a watch implant.
I looked at him expectantly, waiting to finally hear him speak. He made a low sound, and a faint movement at his throat caught my eye. But the sound was more like a gurgle than a word. It broke off, and the vodnik glanced at me before looking away.
He seemed… I didn’t know. I was not used to reading vodnik facial expressions, and he didn’t give me anything to go on since he had yet to speak. His expression didn’t change much. He mostly looked angry and hostile, only now, ev en more so. But what did I know? This might have been the vodnik default look. Or even their equivalent to a cheerful smile.
I suppressed a stupid giggle at the ridiculous thought. It was obvious there was nothing friendly or inviting about his expression.
But there was a savage beauty to him. His face was proportional, flat-nosed and chiseled into a distinct shape, his bone structure prominent. Covered in emerald scales, finer than on the rest of him, it was also decorated with a web of golden lines, like a stunning piece of art. I couldn't help but steal glances at him, my fingers itching to explore those lines.
I shivered, remembering how it felt when I wrapped myself around him during my panic attack. It was completely illogical, but at that moment, I felt so utterly alone and abandoned, I latched on to him with far more familiarity than was proper. I couldn’t help it. It felt like I would sink and get lost in the enormous lake, forever trapped until I died, and my panicked brain decided the vodnik was my only chance of survival.
Pressing against him made me feel safer at once. He was strong, his body hard yet alive under my touch. I knew vodniks ran cooler than humans, which allowed them to thrive in low temperatures, but through my suit, I couldn’t feel that. All I felt was how solid and real he was, and that was exactly what I needed.
And when I tried to pull back and he pressed me closer with a harsh sound, my body went haywire with heat and relief.
Because he held me, too. That meant I was completely safe—not only when I gripped him, but when I let go, too. He wouldn’t let me get lost in the deep.
I knew I was being needy and helpless, and it disgruntled me. Normally, I was pretty independent. I was single, had a fulfilling job and a well-rounded life filled with wonderful friendships and volunteer work that gave me purpose, just as my job did. I dated sporadically these days after almost burning out on relationships in my twenties, and I wasn’t devastated when things didn’t work out. I didn’t need anybody else to thrive, just myself .
Or, I hadn’t needed that—until Matthias Carver. Now, my old life was gone, and here I was, thirty feet under water and utterly dependent on another person. It was humbling.
Even more so because he wouldn’t even look at me for longer than a few seconds at a time. Almost as if I wasn’t there. It was odd. At first, he stared with vicious intensity that unnerved me, and now, he barely spared me a glance.
He didn’t say anything to my question, just gave me a curt nod and worked his tentacles slowly, stirring the water around us. We sank lower.
One of his tentacles was still in my grip, and I tried not to make any embarrassing sounds as it tugged me lower, pulling me through dense water. I squeezed the muscular flesh with both hands, terrified it might slip out. This was my anchor down here, my lifeline in the infinite depths that pressed me from all sides.
And I knew it was my bodyguard’s limb that I gripped and bet my sanity on. It felt a bit like hand-holding, and I was deeply ashamed that I needed it, but there was nothing for it.
It was either this or another panic attack, and I’d had too many of those already.
Vodyan stopped when we dropped enough and looked away, staring into the distance. I had no idea if he saw anything in there, because all I saw was water, endless masses of it. It was murky, dark, and impenetrable. Everything was so uniform and bleak, I wasn’t sure being able to see was any better than being stuck in complete darkness.
The only solid, real thing in the depths was my bodyguard.
“So you’re, uh, Vodyan,” I said, the silence getting to me.
I was usually a talker and the extroverted one in most of my friendships. My two best friends were massive introverts, and they joked we’d only become friends because I talked at them until they felt comfortable enough to talk back.
The vodnik’s narrow eyes flicked to me. He nodded and looked away, his jaw working. Okay, fine. So he was an introvert, too. Probably. Or maybe vodniks just didn’t talk much, but that wasn’t a problem. I could fill the silence all by myself.
“My name is Zoe,” I introduced myself, jokingly shaking his tentacle.
He flinched, shooting me a quick look, his eyes widening until I glimpsed their color—a flash of bright blue.
“Sorry,” I said, loosening my hold as much as I could without letting his limb slip out completely. “It was a handshake. Uh, a tentacle shake? Let’s go with a limb shake. Nice to meet you.”
He nodded again, but this time, he didn’t look away. His eyes settled on my face with intensity that made something flutter in the pit of my stomach. I cleared my throat and took a slow breath, doing my best not to get overwhelmed again.
Because even though he was currently the only reason why I wasn’t freaking out, he also made me nervous.
His size was definitely a part of that. God, that torso alone was of hulking proportions, all of it naked and sculpted with solid muscle and covered with emerald green scales that shimmered , even though it was dark down here. I could only see thanks to the filters in my goggles that amplified the available light, but they shouldn’t make things look shimmery.
And the tentacles. I had known they were long and strong from my research, but knowing wasn’t quite the same as seeing them with my own eyes—or feeling those muscles corded around me or flexing in the grip of my fingers.
I held on at the thin end, his tentacle almost stretched taut with the distance between us, and still, my fingers didn’t fully wrap around it.
The tentacles were deep green, lighter on the sucker-covered inner side. They got thicker the closer they were to his body.
The word that came to mind to describe it was girth , and somehow, it made me feel hot and uncomfortable. Also, my fingers itched to explore the suckers on the tentacle I held, and I had to keep that instinct in check all the time.
Because when I ran my thumb over one before, he bolted .
That was another thing that bothered me while also making me insanely curious. For a person who hadn’t said a word to me, Vodyan expressed a lot, except, I had no idea how to interpret his behavior. He seemed cold and professional, and yet, he was so shockingly skittish. Or did I overstep somehow? Was that why he’d bolted when I thoughtlessly ran my thumb over his sucker?
A blush crept up my cheek. Sucker. Why did an anatomic term sound so dirty somehow? And why did I keep wanting to touch it?
Well, I knew why. I was a tactile person. I learned and made connections with other people through touch, but this didn’t seem like the best way to start a professional relationship with my bodyguard.
“And, um, how long do we have to stay here? Before we can go lower?” I asked, hoping to finally coax some words out of him.
The skin at his throat fluttered, a faint green glow lighting there just as a soft, inquisitive sound made its way to me. But the sound stopped, the glow extinguished, and Vodyan shook his head.
Oh my God. Was he… mute? No one had told me if he had any disabilities, and now I was completely embarrassed and afraid to ask him.
Because maybe it wasn’t that. Maybe it was a cultural thing I didn’t get to during my brief research.
Gosh. I probably came across as a total oaf, uneducated and human-centered.
Though I knew about the voice sacks, of course. I read about them. Vodniks had vocal cords that worked in a two-fold way: similarly to human ones so they could speak on land, and also in a way that redirected the sound into the voice sacks in their throats. That allowed them to speak comfortably underwater, but the speech was supposed to sound different because they didn’t form the words with their tongues and lips, but with a specialized voice apparatus in their throats.
I’d been really eager to hear him speak when I learned about the voice sacks, but now, I was afraid he couldn’t.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, squeezing his tentacle gently.
He jerked, his mouth opening, which briefly revealed the tips of his sharp, white teeth. A small flurry of bubbles flowed out. His tentacle twitched in my hold, and I cringed. Right. Skittish.
“I shouldn’t do that. Got it.” I smiled with contrition.
He blinked, watching me intently. His gaze felt like a physical pressure, making me ramble. I usually eased tension with talking.
“Thing is, I was told only yesterday that you’d be my bodyguard, and I knew so little about vodniks before. Which is really uncool of me. I usually go out of my way to learn about all the sentient species, especially because I teach—well, used to teach before all this happened—in a co-ed kindergarten. So I learned everything I could to support all my pupils equally. But I have to admit, we never had a vodnik kid. Though it’s not surprising, obviously. Since you guys stay in the lakes. Do you have kindergartens down here?”
Too late did I realize I asked him a question, which was insensitive of me if he couldn’t speak. But Vodyan nodded curtly, and I breathed out in relief. At least it wasn’t an open-ended question.
“So there you have it,” I said with a smile. “But I’m open to learn. I’m sure we’ll figure it out. Believe me, I’m determined not to make this difficult for you. I just… I just need a while. To adjust. And maybe stop panicking. This was all sprung on me so suddenly, though I’m grateful, of course. With the other witnesses having been… Uh. Nope. I can’t talk about it. Shouldn’t even think it. Sorry. I’m sure I’ll feel better soon. Though, I wish you could tell me how long until we get to the safehouse. Maybe being indoors will help some.”
Vodyan cocked his head to the side, studying me. With a gentle flex of his tentacles, he swam closer. I gulped, watching as they undulated. It was a strangely beautiful sight, so synchronized and hypnotic. They shimmered, too, just like his torso, and the effect was utterly enchanting.
Until Vodyan’s face appeared so much closer as the tentacle I held slackened in my palms. This was incredible, too. He’d barely moved, yet that small movement propelled him across the distance between us with shocking speed .
We were very close to each other. His face hovered right opposite mine.
I saw the exact shape of his irises in his deep-set eyes that partly hid under his prominent brow-ridges. They were almost round, but not quite—a bit more elongated than human ones. His eyes had no whites.
His nose was flat, with two narrow slits at the sides, and his mouth, which had seemed kind of lipless from a distance, looked utterly sensual from up close. It definitely wasn’t lipless, but the color of his lips was the same as the rest of his face, which made them less visible. His upper lip didn’t have a bow, but there was a softness and flexibility to his mouth.
“Oh. Hi,” I said, my stomach twisting.
I really hoped it wasn’t nausea. The idea of puking underwater was utterly unappealing.
The soft skin on his throat glowed briefly, fluttering, as he made a deep, rumbling sound. It wasn’t a word—at least, not one I could understand, so I frowned and moved closer, as if that would somehow help me hear him better.
Vodyan recoiled slightly, and I pulled back.
“Right. Sorry. I thought you wanted to say something, but I didn’t get what,” I explained, desperately trying to suppress that weird feeling in my stomach.
Vodyan pressed his lips together, his eyes narrowing as he looked aside. Finally, he nodded once and looked at me again. Slowly, his hands settled on my waist, his expression losing some of its harshness. I thought he seemed questioning.
“Oh. You… You want to hold me?” I asked, nonplussed and suddenly too hot in my suit.
I wondered if it was overheating. Was it possible? I’d been told it was designed to keep an optimal temperature.
He nodded curtly, and I shivered, realizing how his palms spanned my waist. They covered an impossibly large area of my body, and that made a spark go off in my brain, making me blink stupidly before I realized he was waiting for a reply. His touch was light and questioning.
“Oh, okay.” I nodded .
He didn’t react at once. His fingers twitched, and he pulled his hands away, letting them hover around my waist as if there was an invisible barrier around it. He tilted his head to the side, his eyes roaming me up and down, before his hands fluttered back to my waist.
His throat worked as he swallowed, looking away from me.
I gasped. So suddenly, he pressed me to his torso much the same way as I held him before. I barely had enough time to react and put my arms and legs around him, and then we were in motion, shooting through the water as his powerful tentacles propelled us away from the pickup point.
And now, I would be completely lost in the enormous, terrifying lake. My bodyguard was the only person standing between me and death.