Chapter 5
Vodyan
H olding her like this didn’t help me clear my mind, only producing more confusion instead. But it couldn’t be avoided, because the safehouse was far into the lake, and if we traveled at her pace, it would take days.
She was probably slower than a cargo walker. If she could swim at all. I still didn’t know.
I held her close to my body to make our joined shape as compact as possible and easily pick up speed. And as she nestled against me, warm, squirmy, and small, I wrestled with my thoughts.
My biggest problem was that I couldn’t speak. I didn’t understand it at all, but it was like from the first moment she clung to me, something hard lodged in my voice sack and didn’t let go.
It made completely no sense, and no matter how hard I tried to clear and expand that space so sound could come out, it didn’t work. That tightness didn’t feel like anything I’d ever experienced before, and it irritated me even more than my principal’s lack of survival skills underwater .
Though, to be fair, it didn’t seem like it was her fault she fared so poorly. From what I understood, this assignment had been sprung on her, just like it had been sprung on me.
We shot through water at a slightly greater depth, because I gradually lowered us as we traveled. She squirmed against me, her legs, which were wrapped around me again, squeezing my sides as her fingers dug into my back. I clenched my jaw and sped up even more. The sooner I got us to the safehouse, the sooner I’d be able to stop touching her.
It made me wildly uncomfortable, probably because of the temperature difference. She was so scaldingly hot .
And yet, I had one reason to be glad about our position, because it allowed me to monitor her status. She trembled slightly, but her breathing rhythm was normal, and I was relieved. It looked like she wouldn’t have another panic attack. Hopefully.
That was the other thing that confused me—the feelings. I finally understood why she had acted the way she did. She was scared, and not just of the lake, but of the criminal she was supposed to testify against, too. That terror was reasonable and justified.
And even though I had obliterated my own fear long ago, it was familiar enough that I could sympathize. That sympathy led to an even stranger thing: wanting to help her feel safe.
I made a frustrated, half-croaking sound, trying to understand why this felt wrong. I was supposed to protect her. It was literally my job.
The problem was, whenever I worked a protection detail in the past, I was never motivated by a personal need to keep a client safe or make them feel better. My only motivation used to be duty, which was why I was good at my job. Feelings were unreliable and fickle, whereas protocol and professional integrity could always be trusted .
I’d never felt much on the job before. Which was why it was so completely baffling that I found myself not just concerned about her, but angry on her behalf.
When the Monster Security Agency and Zoe’s protection team negotiated the pickup, it was treated with logical efficiency. It made sense for me not to emerge but wait at the right level so I could intercept her. For one, if anyone happened to watch the pickup, my presence on the surface would call even more attention to them. Without me there, Zoe was just a diver going into the lake.
But if a vodnik showed up to pick her up, that might provoke questions, and her agents were adamant about avoiding that risk.
And yet, had I known how difficult this was for her, I would have waited closer to the surface. But there had been no indication at all that there was an issue.
All through planning the pickup, her team took everything into account apart from Zoe’s mental state. No one informed me she had panic attacks. She was treated like cargo all through the process, and it felt wrong to me now, but I couldn’t understand why .
She was cargo, just as Malgeri said. I was supposed to keep her alive, uninjured and safe. That was the full extent of my assignment, and helping her stay calm wasn’t even on the list.
But that was precisely what I wanted to do. Keep her calm. Keep her safe in a way she could trust. And keep her talking so I could learn what else she needed.
I finally decided it was all because I found her so annoying. All that thrashing around that disturbed the waters, her rambling speeches that didn’t make sense half the time, and her need to touch me were all highly irritating.
Yes, that made sense. I wanted to keep her calm to have more peace.
But why the fuck couldn’t I speak? That didn’t explain it.
Zoe was quiet, her face pressed into the crook of my neck right next to my gills, and even though I couldn’t feel her skin through the mask, I was acutely aware of how strange it felt. Her face was right there, next to mine. I was suddenly jolted by the awareness that I hadn’t held a female in… Damn. Two decades.
At least, not like this.
I had sex, of course. There was one upper-tier establishment I liked to visit once a month simply to blow off steam and keep my reproductive instincts in check. But that was always a purely physical thing, professional and paid for. Organs came together, tentacles coiled around each other, but there was no need to bring our faces or torsos close.
It was how I preferred it. Just sex, but with enough distance that I could shake it off at once.
Because when I’d once made the mistake of letting a sex worker embrace and kiss me twenty years ago, I was unwell for months to come. All the things I worked so hard to control rose to the surface and tortured me for weeks.
I never made that mistake again.
Fuck, I cursed in the depths of my mind. Why was I thinking about sex? My monthly appointment had been two weeks ago, and my lethargic libido shouldn’t be waking up for another two. I’d trained myself to get by on the little I allowed myself.
But my human principal disrupted my routine. And now I held her closer than I’d held a woman before, and my instincts reacted, which was utterly illogical. She was human , for fuck’s sake.
There was nothing particularly attractive about humans, not to me, though I knew some vodniks swung that way.
Zoe chose this moment to squirm in my hold, her warm body sliding over my scales. I jolted, losing my rhythm.
“Can you maybe indicate how much longer it will take? I’m getting kind of jittery. Um. Low blood sugar after all that panicking.” She laughed huskily, and it made me twitch. “And, uh, well, I’ll need the bathroom soon. ”
I swallowed thickly. She asked if I could “indicate” because she obviously thought I wasn’t capable of speech. This was getting out of hand, and I had to get over whatever the fuck was wrong with me.
Zoe squirmed expectantly while I swallowed again. The tightness in my throat grew even worse, like a hot stone was lodged in there.
Maybe it was the heat of her? Maybe the temperature wreaked havoc with my… hormones, or something?
“It’s okay if you can’t, I perfectly understand,” she said when I didn’t react apart from slowing down. “Forget I said anything. This is really nice, and I’m impressed by how fast we’re moving. I mean, I assume it’s fast, because I feel the movement. But the landscape is kinda the same.”
She chuckled softly under her breath. My throat tightened even more, the vise of unfamiliar, burning emotion closing in.
I didn’t understand her. We were strangers. I was a big, scary vodnik who hadn’t even said one word to her. Why was she so… So?
I lacked the right words to describe her.
But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I got over myself. I swam to a gentle halt and floated, still holding her. Somehow, I felt this would be easier without her looking at me.
With a heroic force of will, I made my voice sack expand, emitting a guttural growl that pushed past the resistance. Zoe flinched with a squeak, but when I expected her to spring away from fright, she pressed closer, her arms tightening around me.
“W-what was that?” she whispered, barely loud enough to hear.
The tension in my throat loosened just enough. I spoke, though my voice was very much unlike mine. But at least, I formed words now.
“It’s less than an hour. There’s food and a bathroom.”
She tensed and then slowly pulled back, though she didn’t struggle to get free. Guided by a helpless instinct, I looked down. Her eyes were wide and so very green.
“So… You can speak? I just assumed you couldn’t, because… Oh, you know what, never mind. Thank you for letting me know. I can handle an hour. Is there anything else you want me to know? Like, can I make the journey easier on you somehow?”
I grimaced and looked away. The only way she could make things better was if she kept her distance and swam on her own, but that wasn’t an option. So I shook my head, working my jaw.
“Oh,” she said, sounding surprised. But then, a soft laugh stole into her voice. I glanced down, unable to stop myself.
She grinned up at me.
“You’re an introvert, aren’t you?” she said with such a wide smile, I was afraid her cheeks would split behind the mask. “That’s why you don’t speak much.”
I couldn’t help but stare at that shockingly wide smile brightening her face. Her teeth were nice and white. Her left canine was sharper and longer than the right one, and I fixated on it, my throat tightening right back up. I was mute again and still no closer to figuring out why.
Zoe ignored my confusion and lack of response, speaking with way too much glee.
“You know what, this is perfect! I was worried about being stuck with a stranger, but I’m great with introverts. Seriously, you won’t have to do a thing, I will do all the talking. And I know you’ll need your space, too, so I promise I’ll leave you alone as much as you need. I can entertain myself. It will be awesome! We’ll get along like… Well, a house on fire, but I never understood that saying. It doesn’t sound quite right. What do vodniks say about people who get along well? Do you have a saying?”
I blinked down at her, my thoughts tangling in the maze of all the words she just said. The tip of that left canine peeked out when she pronounced certain sounds, and now that I noticed it, I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
Zoe’s smile grew smaller, and she nodded with understanding. “Too much? Sorry, I’ll tone it down. ”
I frowned. No, it wasn’t too much, and I…
A strong, cold current brushed my back. I whipped around just in time to see a lamia warrior charging right at us, his teeth bared for a killing bite.