Chapter Seventeen
Haizley
“What do you have to tell me? You aren’t married, are you?”
“No, I’m not married. I... um... can’t have sex for another month.”
Gunner leaned up on his elbow, his eyes searching my face. “Is this a religious thing?”
Giggling, I shook my head no.
I turned my head away, embarrassed by what I had to tell him.
Gunner placed his hand on the side of my neck, turning my face to look at him.
“What’s goin’ on, Haizley?”
Taking a deep breath, hiding my face in my hands, I mumbled, “I’m not healed yet.” I knew he was confused. I knew he wouldn’t understand what I was saying, but I couldn’t bring myself to say the words.
“Oh shit. I forgot.”
Dropping my hands on the bed, I glared at him. “Forgot what?”
“About your piercing.”
Sitting up, I stared down at him. “How do you know about that?”
I watched as he swallowed before he too sat up. “Don’t be mad, baby.”
I stood up from the bed and turned on him, my hands on my hips.
“Don’t be mad? How do you know I have a piercing, Gunner? Indie told me she didn’t put it in the system.”
“She didn’t,” he confirmed with a heavy sigh.
He sat on the side of the bed, hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I waited for him to answer. I refused to ask the same damn question for a third time.
After another moment or two, when he still hadn’t answered, I dropped my arms. Looking around the room at my bags, I decided I could get them later. I grabbed my purse and yanked the door open.
“Haizley!”
I chose to ignore Gunner’s yell and hurried down the stairs. Jogging down the hallway, I ignored the looks sent my way when I entered the main room.
“Haizley, you ok?” a big man asked, causing me to pull up short before I reached the door.
“I need to go. Amber is with Aspen. Can someone please let her know I will be back first thing in the morning?”
“Haizley, goddammit! Let me explain.”
“Go to hell, Gunner!”
The big man stepped in front of me, preventing Gunner from reaching out. “What the fuck did you do?”
“Move, Tank,” Gunner growled.
Tank, who was aptly named, crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn’t as tall as Gunner, but he was twice as wide.
“Thank you, Tank,” I whispered and walked to the front door.
“Haizley, you aren’t leaving!”
I held up my fist behind me, my middle finger extended, and walked out the door.
Climbing into my car, I sat for a few minutes, breathing in and out.
How did Gunner know about my piercing? Indie swore she didn’t tell anyone.
Laying my head on the steering wheel, I thought about Aspen. She needed me here, but I couldn’t stay the night. Not with Gunner.
I lifted my head and looked at the building. Aspen would be safe here. I could go home and come back in the morning. But she asked me to stay. If she looked for me, and I wasn’t here, what would that say to her? How would she trust me if I went back on my word? It wasn’t her fault Gunner was an asshole.
Mind made up, I opened the door of my car and stomped back into the clubhouse.
Gunner rushed over. “Baby, please let me explain.”
Holding my hand up, palm out, in front of his face, I looked around the room. Seeing Bane at the bar once again, I walked over to him.
“Bane, can I ask a favor?”
Turning on his stool, he looked over my shoulder and then back at me.
“Of course, Haizley.”
“Could I sleep in your room?”
“FUCK NO!” Gunner yelled behind me.
Ignoring him, I continued talking to Bane. “I was going to go home, but I gave Aspen my word. I was not given a room because Gunner mistakenly thought I would be sleeping with him. That is not happening. Right now, you might be the only person here I trust.”
My insides were shaking. I stood there, muscles cramping, trying to prevent the tremors from showing outwardly. If Bane said no, I wasn’t sure what I would do. The room was quiet, until I heard someone say my name.
“Miss Walker.”
Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply, counting to ten before turning around and focusing on King.
“I would like to apologize for my brother.”
He turned to glare at Gunner for a moment before turning back. “We have other rooms, and Brandy will show you one you can sleep in.”
“Does the door lock?” I asked loud enough for Gunner to hear.
“Yes, in fact, Brandy can give you the key. I give you my word. Gunner will not bother you.”
“King, what the fuck?”
King turned away from me and spoke to a brunette woman nearby. I needed to go upstairs before I broke.
“Miss Walker?”
I turned to Brandy and rasped, “Please, call me Haizley.”
She nodded and linked her arm with mine.
We made it to the edge of the room, and just before walking into the hallway, I heard King bark, “Prospect, go get her things and move them into the room Brandy puts her in. Gunner! Get your ass in church. NOW!”
Walking away, I heard them continue to argue but couldn’t make out what they were saying. I could feel the adrenaline starting to wane, and the tremors I fought in front of the room full of bikers were starting to take over.
“I’m not sure what Gunner did, but King is a man of his word. He won’t let Gunner bother you while you’re here.”
I didn’t respond.
I couldn’t.
It took everything in me not to break down in the hallway. While we made our way up the stairs, the young kid behind the counter passed us, taking the stairs two at a time.
Once we made it to the room I would stay in, the prospect met us there with my bags. I sat on the edge of the bed while he placed them on the floor. Without a word, he left, but Brandy sat down beside me.
I continued taking deep breaths to stave off the emotion I was trying hard not to release. Corbin was the only person who had ever seen me lose it. He’d been my rock while I tried to navigate my life after my parents’ deaths.
Missy had been like a sister, but she only knew the strong me, the therapist me. The person who everyone went to when they needed someone. I always needed to be strong for everyone else.
“It’s ok, Haizley. This won’t be the first time he fucks up.”
I simply nodded, knowing if I spoke it would be over. The tears would fall, and I would break. My reaction was irrational. I barely knew him. This shouldn’t be this devastating. It didn’t make sense.
“If Aspen and Amber wake before you, I’ll have one of the girls come get you.”
I nodded again.
“Here are the keys.” She opened my hand, placing two keys connected by a ring in my palm. “This is both of them, so no one else will have one.”
Curling my hand around the keys, I closed my eyes.
The bed shifted when Brandy stood up. She walked silently to the door, but before she left, she spoke softly, saying something I hadn’t heard since my parents died.
“Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
The soft click of the door closing was the signal my body needed to let go. I slid to the floor and cried.
Cried for the loss of my parents when I needed them most. Cried for my best friend Missy, who was seven hundred miles away. Cried for Amber, who needed me to help her work through trauma she thought she had conquered. Cried for Aspen, who needed me to be here when she woke up in a strange place after her assault.
But most of all, I cried for me.
For the girl who didn’t have a mom to help her get ready for prom.
For the girl who had no one clapping for her at graduation.
For the girl who didn’t have her dad to walk her down the aisle when she got married.
For the girl who would probably never get married.
For the girl who just wanted someone to take care of her for a change.
I didn’t know how long I sat on that floor and cried for all the things I never had, and never would have, until finally, I had no tears left to cry.
There was a soft knock on the door, and I turned my head to stare, not saying a word.
“Haizley? It’s Sam. I didn’t know if you were hungry, but I had Hash make you something to eat. I’ll leave it here by the door.”
I heard the muffled sounds of her putting whatever she had brought on the floor. Rubbing the emotion from my eyes, I sat for another moment, listening to her footsteps walk away.
And then another moment to be sure no one was out there.
Before I carefully stood and hesitantly walked toward the door. I laid my ear against the rough wood and listened.
I was hungry, but not hungry enough to fall into the trap of opening the door and finding Gunner there.
So, I listened.
When I was positive no one was there waiting, I carefully unlocked the door and slowly opened it. I looked down the hallway in both directions before dropping my eyes to the tray full of food and bottles of water.
I quickly pulled the tray through the doorway without lifting it and closed the door, turning the lock once again. Lifting the tray, I placed it on the dresser and finally took in my surroundings.
Grabbing a bottle of water and twisting the cap off, I lifted it to my lips. Whoever Hash was, I was thankful they had thought to send more than one bottle of water.
The room was sparse. A TV sat mounted on the wall, the remote tucked next to a lamp on the nightstand that sat next to a queen size bed covered by a soft gray comforter. Two doors across the room led me to believe there was a closet and a bathroom, though I had yet to open either.
I stood next to the dresser, eating the sandwich that had been prepared for me while I thought about the day’s events.
The rational part of my brain knew that sometimes things were out of your control. Life wasn’t always neat and tidy. Sometimes we had to adapt to situations we were thrown into.
That was exactly where I was now.
I’d had my meltdown. Given myself time to freak out, and now it was time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and get to work.
I was Haizley freaking Walker, and I had been taking care of myself since I was sixteen years old. I didn’t need someone else to take care of me. I took care of others. It’s what I was called to do. Be strong for those who were weak. Give them the strength they needed to fight their demons.
Mine would just have to sit back down and wait their turn.