Chapter Twenty-Two
Haizley
“What the hell was that?” I shouted to every man in the room, swinging my arm in the direction of the front door Derek had just walked through.
“You don’t know what he fucking did,” Zero clipped back.
“Actually, I know exactly what he did because he just told me.”
“Probably downplayed it,” the arrogant man grumbled.
“Zero! Enough,” Sam admonished him, then continued, “We have talked about this. Derek is welcome here. He is Jack’s brother, and Charlie’s uncle. He saved her life! You don’t get to be an ass to him. Not when we have forgiven him.”
Zero lowered his head and stared at his shoes. A few other brothers also showed their shame at Sam’s words. It was interesting to watch as she chastised them all with a few sentences of fact. I had come to realize after being here only a day or two that Sam was important to these men.
“Baby,” Jack cooed.
“No, Jack. I am tired of this bullshit. If they can’t let this go, then screw the house. I won’t raise my children where their uncle isn’t welcome.” She turned back to the men. “He’s trying. He’s making the effort. I expect the same from each and every one of you.” She folded her arms over her chest, resting them on her swollen belly. “Unless you aren’t man enough to let go of petty bullshit that does not affect you?”
When the blow to their egos was met with silence, Sam grabbed Charlie’s hand and waddled from the room.
Jack watched her go for a moment and then glared at his brothers.
“Great fuckin’ job. You pissed her off. You know she’ll tell Beck and then you’re all fucked,” Jack alleged before following Sam out of the room.
Mumbles and murmurs went through the room. Amber had shared with me a little about Beck and her relationship to the club. Being the president’s niece had its advantages.
“Sam’s right. Derek is trying. He agreed to therapy because he wants to get to know his family,” King stressed.
“We didn’t know why he was here. He went upstairs with Gunner’s woman—”
“I AM NOT GUNNER’S WOMAN!” I yelled across the room.
Taking a deep breath and counting to ten, I kept my eyes closed for another few beats before finally feeling under control again.
“I am here in this clubhouse for one reason only. Aspen. I do not belong to Gunner. We barely know each other. Therefore, I do not answer to Gunner. Or any of you.”
“Let me remind you, this is my house and you are here as a curtesy,” King countered.
“Then maybe I shouldn’t be here.”
Hearing a loud gasp, I closed my eyes. I had forgotten Aspen was in the room. I needed to talk to her privately and explain. Turning to the woman that I had been working with, I walked over and sat at the table, ignoring the men in the room.
“Aspen, we should talk in private.”
“Haizley, I’m not ready to leave.”
“Nor do you have to.” I regarded King, waiting for confirmation. When he nodded, I turned back to the frightened woman. “You can stay here.”
“Not without you. I’m scared.”
“You have Diesel, now.” As if on cue, Diesel nudged his head under her hand and leaned against her leg.
“You spent all morning with him, walking around outside. That is incredible progress. And I won’t be gone forever. I will still come here for sessions with you until you are ready to leave. But there is no need for me to take up one of their rooms. You haven’t needed me outside of our sessions for days.”
Aspen bit her lip and nodded. She knew I was right. She had been doing really well, even before Banshee gave her the dog. She had gotten to know some of the men really well. I found it interesting that two of the biggest men here, Tank and Big Ben, were the ones she seemed to feel the most at ease with.
“Can you stay tonight? And tomorrow we can work out a plan?”
“Yes, I will stay one more night.”
Her shoulders dropped and the tension visibly left her body. With Aspen settled, I stood and walked back to King.
“I appreciate you allowing me to stay for Aspen. But if I am going to start meeting with people in person, I need a proper place to hold sessions. The room I have been staying in is not it. I also will not subject any patients to undo animosity or harassment.” Silently reminding him that he had asked me to speak with someone who might not want everyone to know.
“May I suggest you continue to stay here for Aspen, but maybe meet patients outside the compound? A slower transition for her could only help, right?”
I narrowed my eyes at the club president. I knew when I was being manipulated. He was right, though. That was what I had decided earlier, before all this bullshit about how they all felt about Derek, and me being Gunner’s woman, started.
“I will consider it.”
“That’s all I ask.” He turned and walked down the hall without another word, knowing he had won. Though, I wasn’t sure what battle he was fighting.
Goddammit!
“Aspen, I am going to go upstairs for a bit. You’ll be ok here?”
“Yea,” she said quietly.
Hurrying from the room, I jogged up the stairs. I needed some time to myself. As a therapist, it was important not to get too caught up in the lives of your patients. That was something I hadn’t forgotten, just ignored over the past week and a half.
Entering my room, I locked the door and tossed myself on to the bed. Today had been a lot.
What am I doing?
Why am I here?
I never got this involved in my patients’ healing. I was a facilitator, not a security blanket. Rolling over, I pulled out my phone and dialed my best friend. I needed to talk this shit out with someone who would understand and not judge.
“Hey, bitch, where the hell have you been?” Typical Missy.
“I’m sorry. The last few days have been a shit show. I broke the cardinal rule.”
“You slept with a patient?”
I chuckled at her gasped outrage. “Technically, yes. But not like you’re thinking. I have a patient who was drugged and raped. The first two nights out of the hospital, I slept in her bed with her. She was such a mess. The third night, she slept alone, but I didn’t get much sleep with the nightmares she kept having.”
“Oh gosh, Haiz. I feel awful for her.”
“It gets worse.”
“How?” she asked cautiously.
“UGH! Missy, I screwed up,” I confessed, covering my eyes with my arm as I lay on the bed, not entirely sure I was ready to tell my best friend everything.
“What happened?”
“There is this guy.”
“You have a guy? Haizley Pearl Walker, why am I just now hearing about this?”
“Because I don’t really have a guy. He’s just—God, he’s an asshole. But he showed up outside my patient’s house. She was taking a nap, so I slipped out to tear him a new asshole for tracking me down after I told him I was fine. And before I could yell at him, he pulled me to him and kissed me. And oh God, Missy, can this man kiss!”
“So, what’s the problem?”
I took a deep breath and explained, “The guy who drugged and raped my patient must have been stalking her. Four days after getting out of the hospital, he attacked her in her home. Right after I went outside.”
“Oh, Haiz. That isn’t your fault. You know he would have found a way to get to her. What did he do?”
“Thankfully not much. We heard her scream, and the guy I was outside with ran in and kicked the door down. Scaring the man off.”
“Oh my God, that’s hot.”
“It really was.” I sighed. “But now we are staying somewhere else. And it’s getting difficult. She doesn’t want to leave here. She feels safe, and she is. But I have been with her every moment since she left the hospital.”
“And you are worried about transference.”
“Yea.” I knew she would get it. She might work with kids and not adults, but there was an even greater risk of transference with her patients than with mine.
“Where are you staying?”
I blew out a breath. I couldn’t tell her we were at a motorcycle club. She would think I was nuts, and I didn’t want to waste my breath trying to convince her we were safe.
Missy hated MCs. She would never tell me why. And I didn’t press. As close as we were, there were just things we didn’t want to burden each other with.
“It’s a gated building. No one can get in with the security they have here.”
“What are you going to do?”
Sitting up from my bed, I shook my head. Missy and I were so much alike. We tried so hard not to shrink each other, but it wasn’t always easy.
“I have gotten a couple of referrals for in-person sessions, so I will begin those this week. That will slowly give her a chance to adjust to me not being around every minute.”
“Sounds like you have a plan. So, what did you call me for?” She laughed.
“Because, bitch, I needed to vent.” I knew she heard the smile in my voice. We made a pact in college that we wouldn’t offer advice unless the other person specifically asked for it.
“You can vent to me anytime, babe.”
“Thank you. So, what’s new with you? I feel like we haven’t talked in forever.”
“Not much, just busy with clients. One in particular is tough. A little girl that was taken at birth. Her father just recently found her, and she’s barely two, so they are just getting to know each other. But she was so severely neglected my heart just breaks for her.”
“That’s awful. I don’t know how you do it, working with kids.”
“It’s not easy.”
Something in her voice made me change the subject. I heard the sadness mixed with apprehension, and asked, “Never tracked that guy down, huh?”
“No. As soon as I saw the bike, I ran.”
“Still don’t want to talk about why?” I asked, knowing if she did, she would have brought it up.
“Nope,” she answered, popping the p at the end.
“What if he was the one?”
“He can’t be. Not if he rides a motorcycle.” Her voice was getting softer. I knew if I didn’t change the subject, she would cut the call, so I let it go.
We talked for an hour about little things. The differences between small towns and big cities. Things that had changed since I left Oklahoma City. Which wasn’t much.
Looking out the window, I noticed the sun had gone down some. It was getting close to dinnertime and Jack and Sam had wanted to share their appointment news with everyone at once.
I said goodbye to my best friend with a heavy heart, just like every time we ended our call. I missed her. I wanted her to move here, but she wanted me to move back there. Neither of us would get our way.
I considered staying in my room, but I wanted to hear about the baby. I guessed they found out the sex of the baby, despite Sam saying they would wait until the birth. She’d said she wanted to be surprised.
Making my way down the stairs, I winced when I heard the booming voice call out, “Where the fuck is my woman?”
Releasing a heavy breath, I sat on the bottom step for a moment, holding my head in my hands. I needed to steel myself against the gorgeous man who insisted on being a pain in my ass. Though, I had to admit, not having to think about breakfast or dinner, and just having a plate of food placed in front of me was something I could get used to.
Giving myself a quiet internal pep talk, I set my hand on the railing and hefted my tired body up to stand. I walked with authority down the hallway, knowing that once I entered that room again, I would have another battle of denying myself the one thing I wished I could be.
Gunner’s woman.