Chapter 21
Gunner
I hate to see her in pain. I hate to see her look at me the way she is. Rick just got here, and she’s been holding his hand the whole time. I feel a little useless.
I know this is all new to her, and she’s scared, but I would have at least liked for her to come to me, to look to me for help and comfort. Instead, she and Rick talk in low tones as I sit off to the side, wondering what the hell to do here.
The doctor tells her it’s time to push, and that has me on my feet. Her eyes flick to mine, and I wait.
“I can’t do this without you,” she says. Finally! She finally needs me. I smile as I walk over and grab her hand in mine, watching Rick take a backseat to all this now. Her nails dig into my hand as she pushes and follows the doctor’s orders. It seems like forever, but it’s only a matter of minutes. My girl is stronger than she gave herself credit for.
“I see the head,” the doctor announces as Nat squeezes tighter. I let her hold on as tightly as she needs as I watch my baby be born.
“Push, Natasa. I need one more good one,” the doctor tells her. Nat does just that. She pushes, putting all her strength behind it. And then I hear it. The tiny cry that turns louder. Nat gasps as the doctor brings the baby up to her chest. He offers to let me cut the cord and I do so with tears in my eyes.
“He’s perfect,” the doctor declares.
“He. You were right,” Nat tells me as I look down at my son. I never in my life thought I’d be doing this again. Looking at a small life the way I am right now. It’s the best thing in the world.
“He’s perfect, Nat.”
“He is, isn’t he?” She cries as I lean down and press a kiss to her forehead.
“You’re amazin’, baby girl.”
“Thank you, Gunner. For everything.” I smile and nod as they take the baby to clean him up. Nat motions for me to go with him so I do. I pull my cell out as I stand and watch them clean him up and snap pictures to send to everyone. I hear Rick whispering something to Nat and turn to look at the two of them. Nat has tears pouring down her cheeks when she turns her head and looks at me. Our eyes lock, and everything else seems to fall into place.
“Seven pounds and six ounces. Twenty inches long,” the nurse announces, pulling my attention back to the baby. They wrap him up and pass him to me, and that’s it. I fucking melt. My son. This is my son.
I walk back over to Nat and offer him to her, but she shakes her head.
“You hold him.”
“He’s so damn cute, Nat. Looks a lot like Hodge,” I tell her.
“Then he’s going to be a good-looking kid,” she teases. I smirk at her and shake my head.
“You’re gonna pay for that.”
“Look forward to it,” she teases back.
“I don’t need to hear this. Let Uncle Rick see him,” Rick chimes in as he walks over to me. He looks at the little bundle in my arms and sighs.
“You two did good.”
“He’s perfect, right?”
“He is. He surely is,” Rick says once more before heading for the door.
“Where are you going?” Nat asks.
“I’m going to give you a little time together. I won’t be far,” he smiles before heading out of the room.
It doesn’t take long for them to clean Nat up and move us to a different room. Now that we’re both more comfortable, I sit in the chair next to her bed and hold my little boy.
“What’s his name?”
“Jesse. You liked that name, right?” she asks.
“I did. I think it’s a good name. Look at you, Jesse. A strong name for a strong boy, just like his momma.”
“You’re good at this,” she says.
“I had practice. You wanna hold him now?” Nat shakes her head as she yawns and closes her eyes. I’m sure she’s worn out. That takes a toll on a woman’s body.
“I’m tired, Gunner. So tired.”
“Then sleep, baby girl. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
“You promise?” she asks through another yawn.
“I promise. You’re stuck with me now.” She smiles as her eyes flutter closed. I slide my phone out and snap a few more pictures, sending them to everyone I know. Rick went to grab us something to eat while I stayed with Nat and the baby.
The nurses have been in a couple of times to check on things and make sure he’s eating. He eats every last drop I offer him. They said that’s a good sign of a healthy boy. It makes my heart swell with pride that we did this. We made this.
I know at first, I wasn’t sure about raising another kid. I’ve raised mine, and now I’m older, but holding Jesse in my arms changes things. It changes everything. I don’t think I could ever give this up. I wouldn’t want to. This family means everything to me.